what a weekend

Yesterday was Jeremy's cousin's wedding reception. We had a great time. My mom, sister and I did all the cooking and serving, so that made for a very long, tiring day, but I was finally able to put the apron up and have a good time. Today we are getting ready to head to the lake for some fishing and a picnic. I must say that I think I have fallen more in love with my husband this weekend...he has just been great! He dealt with the kids at the reception while I did the food and then while I danced the night away and had a good time. I woke up this morning with severely aching legs. Between standing on them for nearly 12 hours straight with dancing thrown in there, well, they hurt. But, after I got up and around, the stiffness and soreness started to go away. My fingers even hurt.

I start classes tomorrow for summer. The college called me on Wed to tell me that both of my classes I had signed up for (business math and intro to business) were canceled. So, I wasn't able to get back up there to reschedule two classes until Friday. I signed up for advertising and principles of marketing. I have heard these were fun/easy classes..just the type of classes for summer. I also signed up for a couple of my fall classes but I have to go through and find two more. It is so hard because the internship class that I need for social work is right in teh middle of the day ...so I have to work my schedule around that while keeping in mind the need to fulfill 150 hours of internship, so needing to leave some hours available to do so.

Last night while at the reception, I discovered that if everything goes as planned for school..i should be finished with my Masters when my brother in law finishes with his PhD. My mother in law says we will have to throw one heck of a huge party! LOL.

Well, my brother and sister in law just got here, so I am off here to visit and then head to the lake.

Was it Father's Day?

I actually had a decent day yesterday. We went to the breakfast at the church...9am! While there, Sebastian was very disinterested in eating and was just sitting there, staring off...then he leaned his head back in his chair and closed his eyes..it was almost creepy. I looked at Jeremy and was like, what is wrong with him? Well, unbeknown to me, Sebastian had had diarrhea again that morning. I was unaware of this, as I woke up in time to throw myself together and go. We ended up leaving and coming home. I didn't want to have him there sick. I utilized the time to get ready for the cookout for Father's Day. By the time my parents got home, everything was pretty much set. So, things ran smoothly for the day..the kids played in the pool and at push-ups and bomb pops. It was a relaxing day for everything. And Makenneh's behavior was good. I almost thought perhaps it was Mother's Day.

So, it seems that I didn't post about Makenneh's hand, so I will give the rundown now. She was playing at my Uncle Ken's on or near his utility trailer. The kids were catching baby frogs that were everywhere! Next thing I hear is Makenneh crying. She had fell, Seb came and told dad and he was out getting her. I called my family doc, who wasn't in, and he said to take her to the after hours clinic. We waited until the opened and took her up there. They did an xray, he said it wasn't broken, but needed a splint. I followed up with my family doctor the next day and because none of the reports had been sent over, he didn't know if it was broken, etc. He told me to pick up the xray film, bring it to him monday and he would cast it. So, that's what I did. I took her in today and after 2 trips (forgot the film the first time) and going out of my way because I was in never never land, we got there and he put the cast on. She has a hairline fracture so he wanted it casted for 3 weeks. I was so glad that it will only be on for 3 weeks. She will still have plenty of summer fun left after the cast. I tried the plastic bag and tape method today but somehow, water still got in. Not to mention, removing the tape left a nasty red mark/bruise. But, to use weaker tape would be pointless because it wouldn't stick at all in the water. I will gladly take any and all suggestions. It is just one of those intex easy set pools....up to makenneh's midsection.

The heat has rolled in and summer is in full swing. temps will be hovering near 90* this week. If the humidity stays low, I can handle it...otherwise, I will become quite the ornery bitch. Oh wait, it doesn't necessarily take heat to do that. ;)

Well, I am exhausted and off to finish on here before bed. No plans in the works for tomorrow, so I plan to stay home and vegitate!

Living Hell

But first...some pictures
Liberty



Don't we just look happy? Makenneh was over having her picture taken on her graduation day! CAn't you tell?



Just the three of us. She wasn't so grumpy here, though!





Makenneh and Sebastian.




Makenneh and Aunt Carrie looking cool for the camera...i love this one



With her flowers from Grandma Chris, after her ceremony....I haven't gotten to the ones of the actual ceremony yet....read on and you will understand.




I feel as though that ugly black hole is sucking me in again. The past few days have become a living hell for me. Makenneh fractured her arm, as I think I mentioned in a post....if not, she fell while outside catching baby frogs and I took her to the after hours, per our doctor's instruction. They did an xray, the doc said it wasn't broken, put it in a splint told me to follow up with our family doctor in a day or two. Well, my doctor's summer hours leaves the office closed on fridays, that was Wednesday, so I called first thing thurs morning and got an 1140 appointment. I took her in, but the after hours hadn't faxed my doc the report or anything, so he had nothing to go on. He of course looked at it and such, called the diagnostics center for the after hours clinic, they said they would fax it over, but when he received the fax, while we were there, it said nothing of value to him. So, he asked if I could pick the film up from the office (it's near where I live) and bring it in first thing Monday morning and if a cast was needed, he would send me for casting. Well, we spent about 4 hours with that visit because the doc was running way behind. The next day I go get the film and ask the ladies at the desk if the film had been read yet. Yes, he just read them this morning but hasn't written his report yet. Nice. She said the the after hours doc had said it was broken. Funny because he sure as hell didn't tell ME that. She looked at the paperwork with the xray and said that that report said it's a fracture of the radial something or another medical term which I don't recall. I felt my heart fall to my knees. I was really hoping it was just a minor injury, splint for a few weeks and voila. However, I am most certain that it will be casted on Monday. I walked out of that office with tears in my eyes. It is summer. We just got the pool up. And she is going to be in a cast. She is already miserable and grouchy with the splint which is removable. She has mosquito bites on her arms which itch. She wants it off to scratch. I don't look forward to how miserable and grumpy she is going to be with a cast. Do I pity her or me more? I am not sure at this point. ;)

As far as the vomiting...hasn't happened since last Sunday morning (5am). However, I have noticed that she hasn't had a bowel movement. I delayed the enema because with this splint/fractured hand, it is going to ever so difficult for her to keep pulling down pants to go to teh bathroom. However, I am going to talk to the doctor on Monday about that.

Sebastian woke up with severe diarhea this morning. I cried. I am so overwhelmed with all of it. I just want to run away. Add to it the fact that Makenneh has become almost unbearable. She is mouthy, obstinant, rude, disrespectful and just plain defiant. There is no getting through to her. If we send her to her room, it's a string of disrespect spewing from her mouth and she hates us and all but damns us to hell. If she make her sit in time out, she runs her mouth the entire time, almost as if instigating. She raises her fist, she swings, she throws things. At some point, the behavior has to be plain stopped dead in it's tracks...that's when she gets a spanking on her bottom. She will cry as if the world is ending, spew more vile, and round and round. Then, after a while, she is sweet as sugar, as if it never happened, UNTIL one teeny tiny thing sets her off and it's round 2. or really, 1323343232 because they never seem to stop. In the midst of all this, JEremy and I have argued because we don't agree with each other on dealing with her. I do know that I give in when I shouldn't. But, I reach a breaking point where I would just as soon jump in that car and drive until it won't go anymore. Today, I broke. I layed in the bed, curled in a near fetal position, crying. We had stayed at my uncle's last night. IT was a bad night for Makenneh..my cousin was being loud with some plastic cups, woke her up. She cried that he hand really hurt and she wanted a bath. So, at midnight, I run her a bath. She starts crying in that tired voice that she is soooo itchy and wants her itchy medicine. I didn't have it with me. I run home to get it because we live just down the road. I get back, she is out of bath, laying back down. I give her the medicine and get her some ice. We all go to bed. A little while later, she is up because she dumped some of her water down her and needs to change (which she can no longer do herself). So, I got up, changed her clothes, she gets settled back down. Then, this morning...my mom stops down. Wants me to go to the store with her. I wanted to go because I didn't get my father's day gifts yet. Makenneh is immidiately at my side whining that she wants me to stay here forever and don't go and if you go, I won't ....blah blah. I told my mom to forget it, I am sick of the hassles, I am sick of the fights, I will stay home. I get up, go lay in the bed and that's where the tears start. I lay there thinking about how swallowed up one can become in motherhood. You give and you give and try and you give your best and you sometimes fail. But, in the midst of all it, well, you just seem to wake one day and not know where you went. Swallowed up. Lost. I have this child who thinks that the world revolves around her. I have begun to repeat this phrase to her: You are the center of my universe, but my world doesn't revolve solely around you. It doesn't. It can't. Someone has to cook, clean, chase, gather, locate, buy, etc. Some major changes have to take place. Now. No longer will I be at her beckon call. She is famous for sitting in another room and hollering out, "MOOOOOOOMMMM". To which I more oft than not, get up to see what she wants. NO more. She will come to me, unless she is hurt, stuck or otherwise unable to physically bring herself to me. They will get their drinks, go potty, do all that good stuff and then go to bed. Once they enter that bedroom...they will stay, again, barring some emergency..illness, etc. I will not be a maid or butler for their services while they lay in bed contemplating sleep. I will take my life back over. I am the adult. The parent. I realized today that perhaps generations past had the right idea about children's place. Yes, children should have a voice...but when it overrules the adults...there is a problem. IN having a voice, my children rarely use it for constructive problem solving....they instead use it to whine and plead and whine some more. Point being: reprimanded for behavior while in pool. Constructive voice would be to explain their side, in a normal, non whining voice. makenneh opts to throw herself a tantrum the size of texas. test the patience of every single adult in the vicinity. I think that children need that restriction. It is my way, because I am the parent. Because this is how you are expected to behave, treat others, etc. No room for discussion. That's it. Period. Done. Failure to do so will result in loss of freedoms/luxuries/etc. It will be rough. I am going to be tested beyond my limits, I know. But, some day she is going to be 13. If I don't get this under control now, I will never have it under control. And frankly, this whole mess is killing me. It is breaking me. I cannot keep going through this. I love her so much it literally hurts. It hurts because I see a beautiful, funny, smart girl before me, that I made, and yet, I rarely get to see that side of her. I mostly get to see this ugly, mean, disrespectful side. I praise her beyond belief when she is kind and loving and wonderful. I pour it on. Because I want her to understand she will get further with kindness than with meanness. I talk to her when she is in a "good" mood about the importance of being kind and being someone others enjoy being around. I remind her that nobody wants to be around someone who is yelling, arguing, and mean. But, still here we are. Ears plugged, scowl on face. I plan to discuss this with our doctor on Monday, as well. Even if he can just do a couple sessions with Jeremy and I to help us get on the same page. That would be a step in the right direction.

So, tomorrow is Father's Day. I had planned this day at the lake, for fishing, cook out, etc. Well, with the hell of the past few days, I would much rather stay holed up in my room without a soul interrupting. But, the show must go on. We had so much that had to be done because it was planned for us that we would go to the breakfast the church is putting on at 9am. So, that leaves no prep time for this outting. And makes for an extremely long day with a grumpy Makenneh because she has been awakened too early. I dread it already. Just shoot me already, please. I mean, the idea is great...but it would have been better as a brunch after services, versus b'fast before. So, in a scurry to get things done tonight, as the midnight hour approaches, we decide that perhaps it's better to eat here then go to the lake. I am nervous that there won't be any open grills/tables/pavillions. Originally when I suggested this, I had no idea how popular this particular lake has become. I used to go there a lot, fishing, with an ex boyfriend. It was always empty...one or two groups there, on a boat. Jeremy and I stopped tehre the other day to check it out and it was packed, on a friday, middle of the day. Whoa! So, I guess we will eat here, then those who want to do the fishing hting can do do that afterward. Hopefully Jeremy will be ok with that, as he really wants to go fishing and well, it is father's day afterall and I had promised him fishing.

Anyway, now that I've vented, bitched and complained, I need to get to bed, so I can get some sleep. I hope, I pray that tomorrow is a better day. Lord, please let her wake in a beautiful mood and remain in one, just one day, even, I need a reprieve. Thank you, AMEN!

Doctor Update

I took Makenneh in yesterday. He checked her glands, felt her abdomen and there is some tenderness around the sigmoid colon. He had to do a simple rectal exam to check for blockage there. That seemed to be fine. He has suggested that I give her an oil retention enema followed by a saline enema and see if that helps. He is thinking that, like many kids, she held a bowel movement too long, causing some partial blockage. I hope that is it. He did do a urine test to check for a few things but they all came back negative. If the enema doesn't seem to help, then I take her back in to do some blood work. However, with all that said, she has not thrown up since early Sunday Morning. So, it almost seems as if she is better. I just don't know.

After the doc, I took the kids up to get their hair cut at a new salon...they had free hair cuts for kids 13 and under. Makenneh just got a trim...but it looks so much healthier. Seb got his shortened right up, can be spiked now. Of course, when she tried to spike it after cutting it, he gave her a scoul. HE doesn't like the spiked 'do at all. Never has.

it's raining cats, dogs and even horses here today. It doesn't look like it's going to clear up any time soon. Forecast says rain most of the day....most of the rest of the week really. blah.

Well, we are getting ready to head out the door, just wanted to update everyone on Makenneh's issue.

To the Doctor

tomorrow. I am taking Makenneh in to get her checked. She will be seemingly fine one day (0r one moment) then sick to her stomach and throwing up. I hope it is something simple like dehydration (I say simple, because with water, that can be taken care of) as Stacy suggested. Unfortunately, diabetes does run in our family and so, well, I really hope Julie is wrong. ;)

The strange thing is, we have been staying at my uncles this past week and his girlfriend got sick and missed work friday..spent all night and day sick, puking, diarrhea and then my cousin got sick and threw up too on friday. So there is a bug going around here. I have thought that it could be due to her weakened immune system. That last time she and I got real sick (went to ER...codeine for me, remember?) well, the follow up visit with our doc he told me that she will be vulnerable for some time after that illness. so, i am thinking it could be due to that and bugs are going around..she just happens to pick them up whereas the rest of us are mostly able to fight them off. I kept her home from church this morning even though I feel bad because they are doing the Sunshine store today so the kids can buy things for Father's Day. But, i couldn't send her knowing she was up around 5am throwing up. Even though, she will most likely feel okay when she does wake up.

The weather has been quite mild lately....even getting quite chilly at night. I won't complain though because it won't be long and the days will be so hottt and the nights hot still and miserable and hard to sleep. My dad and Jeremy are supposed to be setting up the pool soon, so hopefully we can spend lots of time in it when it does get hot. My Uncle gave us the pool, it's larger than the one we had but still one of those easy set pools. It does require a ladder though, so it will be large enough to have fun and stay cool.

Yeah, nothing too exciting this morning. Of course, I would rather be in bed still. I didn't go to bed until quite late....really around 5am. My uncle's friend and his gf came over and we all played cards...By the time they left, I wound down and tried to sleep, well, makenneh was up sick. Then, my mom was here at 8am to see if Kenneh was going to church..i couldn't go back to sleep after that and then before I knew it, Seb was up, rearing to go. I'm just glad I only had one beer...because while I didn't get much sleep, at least I don't have a hang over. I don't like those, which is why I don't drink much.

well, I am off here ..enjoy the day

School's Out

Well, Makenneh's last day was Monday and that was her graduation. The ceremony was cute, we got lots of pictures. then, we went to lunch to celebrate. We have been staying at my uncle's since that night. it gives my parents a break and us a break, too. And he lives just down the road, so not a big deal. I am at home right now, we had an open house to go to...mom, Seb and I got there, no sooner finished our plates and Makenneh called from her friend's house to say she was sick. So, I rushed home to her. She is now sleeping. I plan to take her to the doctor on Monday to find out why she keeps getting "sick". I put the "" there because, she only gets a stomach ache, sometimes pukes...no diarrhea, no fever, and it comes and goes. So, I don't know what to think about it but it has been happening on and off for about a month now.

Last night I took Makenneh and her friend Emilee to the Church School's Out picnic. We had burgers and hot dogs and they had games and stuff for the kids to play. Then,. Makenneha nd her friend stayed the night here.

Nothing too exciting to post. Just same ol, every day stuff. Thought I would check in. I will try to get back here and post some pics soon.

Fishing

Julie's comment made me realize I should acknowledge that yes, fishing is Jeremy's escape, albeit one of several. (video games, movies and even craigslist lately). I mostly try not to mind, but sometimes it still frustrates me because he gets his "me time" and well, I so seldom do, in that there isn't "one thing" that I just get to go do without any thought to kids and such. I do play bunco once a month, gone for about 3 hours in the evening. Other than that, I have nothing that takes me away for pleasure. So, sometimes, i feel a tad envious that he has his fishing. But, I can't say that it's always that way. More times than not, i am thankful for the fishing because when he doesn't have that time to refresh, he can get quite grumpy. I do imagine that he often feels like a rat in cage, with no way out. I cam empathize with him on that. I don't begrudge him his fishing. I really don't. But, when it's a hectic day with kids, or we have absolutely no money and he is wanting to go fishing, it frustrates me that he doesn't seem able to see the big picture. He wants what he wants, i feel, with no thought to the big picture. I still love him though, nonetheless. And even when I'm pmsing and wanting to bitch about things, I am still aware that he does some pretty awesome things (like take kids fishing with) and those good things far outweigh the others.

I had to go to the senior center today to show my boss to put in the MMAP applications. It was a hectic morning. Mom went to Ann Arbor with Carrie for a follow-up visit and to determine what other course of action needs to take place regarding her tear. Dad had to go the high school to sort out a mess with Christopher regarding graduation. Jeremy had to be to work at 830, Makenneh on the bus around 820. Yeah, so we loaded the kids up, dropped Jeremy off at work, took Makenneh to school, then I had to run to walmart for a phone card. I got home, dad wasn't here yet..i waited around but was running out of time. I had to be in before 1pm to show Ruben that application process. Makenneh gets off the bus around 1215. Finally, i decided to take Seb with me to the senior center, call my cousin and have him on standby in case I didn't make it back in time to get Makenneh off the bus. I arrive at the senior center, walk Ruben through the steps and my cell phone rings. It's the school..m.akenneh got sick in class. So, I had to go pick her up. I finished up real quick with Ruben and Seb and I headed to get Makenneh. I got there and she was sitting in the office, the entire front of her wet from them cleaning puke off her. The poor girl. She has been in bed ever since. Now, I need to run to the grocery store to get a few things that are on sale, including meat for tonight's dinner. however, dad is working on some project outside, Makenneh is sleeping. I could just take Seb with me, but I don't want to leave Kenneh in here by herself, in case she wakes up puking or something.

Ahhh, mom and sis just got home! I am off to get hings done then..may be back later.

Thank God and..

Nonflammable additives for bedding. Makenneh had a night light....Hannah Montana one. She used it every night. Well, not last night but the night before, as we were preparing for bed....she said, "Mom, I need a new night light, this one is broke." I look, notice the bulb missing. I scour her bed for any broken glass, and shake out the blanket. Nothing. Hmmm, peculiar it is. Sure that the glass is gone (but who knows where), I have her climb into bed, and I lay down beside her. We cover with her favorite Pooh Bear Blanket. She says, "mom, there is something on my blanket...glass I think." I have Seb get up and turn the light on so as not to disturb the possible glass on our blanket. I look and it wasn't just glass....the night light had gotten so hot and her blanket was touching it (apparently the night before) that it melted part of the bulb to the blanket, burned a hole the size of a golf ball into the blanket. I felt sooo sick to my stomach to think that had it not been for the nonflammable substance they add to bedding and such, well, that blanket very well could have caught fire and burned my baby right up. There will be no more night lights plugged in near the bed.

Well,Jeremy just came in and wants to go fishing. So, I guess I get to drop him off. Sometimes it frustrates me...like, is that all he thinks about?

A Great Retreat

We just got home from my grandma's and got the suitcases unpacked. It was a great weekend. The kids had a blast...so much so that they both slept almost the entire way home. I will update more later....I have to get laundry going and run to the store for cat litter and dinner.

Ok family is fed and kids are in their beds. Not sleeping though! Despite being so tired. Overtired, I'm sure.

It definitely was nice to get away for a weekend, have a change of scenery and change of pace. And of course, the family, food and fun just adds to the benefits. We had big breakfasts in the mornings, cooked hot dogs on open fire, slept in my brother's pop-up camper with him, Sara, and Kaden, and just had a great time. The kids were quite well behaved. That's not to say they weren't "kids" but they did good and I am so happy. I was sure to tell them that tonight. On the way home, we drove around Houghton and Higgins Lakes, and the kids loved seeing the water. If I could have found the public access, we would have gotten out and let them dip their toes in (it was too cold for anything more). But, I realized that I hadn't been to either lake since I was kid. Yeah, safe to say I don't remember how to get there. It was still nice to take a leisure drive with a beautiful view of the water out our windows.

Makenneh has 5 days of school left. I can't believe the year is already over. Next Monday, she will graduate Kindergarten. How crazy. I am very proud of her and how much she has learned and matured over the year. I hope she continues to do well and keep up the great behavior at school.

Well, I am still doing laundry and have other sites to visit, so have a great night!

Picture Time

Despite the order, the picnic took place during the day, and the bonfire at night!

Enjoy the pics!

Liberty's first Bon Fire~
Uncle Matt playing on the jungle gym with the kids....he's a big kid at heart!


Makenneh and Sebastian, with their 3rd cousins running off to play at the park (Memorial Day Picnic)

Sebastian with sissy's fishing pole and his tackle box at the park for our Memorial Day Cookout!

Makenneh's Class



I finally have some pictures to post. Yay! Today was Makenneh's Track and Field day at school. I made her a cool tshirt by stamping "Track & Field Day 2009" on the front and her name on the back. It was a tad tedious as I had to stamp a lot of it individually. But, it was cute and she was the only kid in her class with a special tshirt. I was actually surprised about that. The weather cooperated beautfiully and the day was a succes!!

We are heading up north as soon as Jeremy gets out of work. I can't wait. Most of the stuff is packed and ready to go. I have to go get a new tire on the car and then when I get back from that, I will pack what I can while I wait for Jeremy. He gets his first paycheck today and I can't wait,even though it will be kinda small. The weather has led to short work days and some days not even working. But I am very thankfull for each and every hour he can put in. It is a huge blessing. I truly feel that things are starting to head up some. We have sold the Cherry Wood we had here...my cousin's boyfriend wanted it and will be here Monday to get it/pay us, Jeremy is getting his first check today and then, (not holding my breath) my uncle has said the first of june would be payday on that largish sum of money he owes Jeremy for working. I just hope all goes as planned.

Well, the posting of pics is taking longer than usual because I am also trying to upload pics for a slideshow, thinking that is the easier method for posting so many pics at a time. I will leave this up and go about packing and preparing for our trip up north.



Makenneh with her ribbons from Track and Field Day. She got two 2nd place ribbons and a 3rd place ribbon. I am so proud of her...she is proud of herself as well.

Cavity Free

The kids had dentist appointments today. They both did very well. Makenneh was such a big girl, but I wasn't worried about her..she was the one totally excited to go. It was Seb I was worried about. It was his first visit (shame I know) and he is sooo shy. The pediatric dentist does not allow parents back, so I just assumed that would be the case at this dental office. I let Mak go by herself. Seb crawled into my lap and asked me to go back with him when it was his turn. So, I planned on it. I sat him in the chair and he looked around quite nervously. The hygeniest said she wouldn't use the mask and all because that can be intimidating to a young child. She didn't plan on doing much more than looking in his mouth. However, as she explained each step, showed him the tools she had to use and let him feel them, he allowed her to do the whole thing. She didn't do a flouride trmt though because if he were to swallow any, it was a guarantee vomit in the car on the way home. They got their new toothbrushes and toothpaste, plus stickers and a prize. And their pics taken for no cavities. Yay!

Then we headed over to sign Seb up for school. Boohooo! Hooray! Yeah, bittersweet. He is my baby. But he is also a big boy! The headstart program in this district does not provide busing, so I applied for GSRP program which does provide busing. However, while I KNOW we qualify for Headstart, I have no idea on the other. It is on a risk factor basis. The state tells them how many students they will have funding for for the year and then they have to assess each file and take the most "needy/at-risk" children.

Still waiting for the camera to make its way back here so I can upload pics. But, the basic rundown of our Memorial Day weekend included our 5 yr anniversary on Friday. We are too broke to do anything, so we just hung at home...he worked in the yard, me in the house. Nothing too special. Church on Sunday (we had 11 guests this week!!!) and then the annual family cookout at the local park. The weather was beautiful which is shocking. We have been doing this picnics forever and it seems to mostly be rainy/cold/windy. This year, we got sunny, warm, breezy. woohoo. Then Sunday night we had a bonfire, roasted hot dogs, made smores and the kids had sparklers. Uncle Matt brought over some bottle rockets for giggles. The kids had a blast and Makenneh slept in the tent with Uncle Matt, Aunt Sara and Kaden. She loved it. Seb had fallen asleep early because he is just naturally ready for bed by 8pm. 10 pm is really pushing it for him. Monday we just hung out, nothing amazing. It was a decent weekend. It just feels as if we have been sooo busy.

Makenneh and her team made their goal to win the trip to a Tigers game with the Church. That's even if none of us go to Church this Sunday because we will all be up north at my grandma's for the "work weekend"-when we gather as many ppl as possible to go up and help get work done around that house/yard. I am looking forward to it. This is the first year we are going. There will be lots of family, lots of fun and well, yeah, lots of work, im sure!

Jeremy hasn't worked yet this week because of the holiday and then weather. Lots of rain in the forecast and well, that means little/no work. I am hoping they are able to get some hours in so his first check will be reasonable.

Well, I am getting off here to finish my rounds and enjoy some peace and quiet.

Just one minute

I was headed to bed when I came in here to shut down the computer. Thought I should check my mail real quick first. Then, I decided, while I was here, may as well run through my routine. I haven't been online in days! We've been busy and had a great (mostly) weekend. I will post more tomorrow, maybe. We have some pictures, as well, but mom has been letting Carrie use the camera so I will have to upload the pics when the camera is here.

Hope everyone had a great weekend!

More good news

Now, don't go thinking that everything is just honky dory around here, because it isn't, yet. Still plenty of room for improvement. However, Carrie went to her appointment today and they did a rectal ultrasound. Guess what?! That tear has been healing on its own. It is now about the size of a wire, the doctor said. So, the doc gave her some cream to use on it and wants to see her again in 2 weeks to determine if surgery will be necessary. Talk about a miracle. The doctor went over Carrie's charts from the OB and we learned that she had a 3rd degree tear with extension from delivery. The extension part means that the tear went into muscle. The hospital and her ob had been telling us that she had a 2nd degree tear. Nice. Thankfully, there is no damage to the sphincter muscle, which was a concern of the doctors today. Either way, the outcome is looking much more positive now. Thank you for your prayers and support and continue to pray that this medicine will work to finish the healing. That would mean no surgery required. Mom said the staff down there is so kind and compassionate. Much different from what we are stuck with around here. Not that all of the hospital staff is bad but it seems to be that nobody wants to go that extra step for the patient.

Jeremy survived his first day on the job. They are working again tomorrow. I guess they never know if they are working the following day until the night before or morning of. Yippee. But, I will not complain one bit, oh no i won't. They get paid every two weeks, which is a huge bummer right now, but at least, we know we will have some money coming in. If we can get through until the end of summer, we will be doing ok. Of course, if my uncle would pay Jeremy the rather largish sum of money he owes him for working with him, well, this would all be moot. We wouldn't quite be in this sinking boat. Not that we would be in a yacht by any means, but life would be oh just a tad bit easier.

Watching tv tonight, a commercial came on for lipstick.
Sebastian: Me want that!
Dad: No, that's for girls.
Seb: Me am a girl! (or however he worded it)
Dad: shakes head.

I didn't get to witness this first hand....but I had to laugh. I told Jeremy it's just that girls seem to have all the cool, bright, colorful, fun stuff. Nail polish and lipstick, and pink and pretty. what do boys get? LOL. He said, they get trucks, and video games, and tools. Yeah, well girls can have all those things too. See, it's just not as fun. LOL. I am quite sure that if given a tube of lipstick, Sebastian would do no such girly thing with it. He would smear it all over his body, the floors, walls, you name it. That's what he would do with it. Use it as his own personal paint stick. what fun mess that would be.

My uncle Ken gets to start work tomorrow, too. Must be in the air. The company he had been working with for several years cut their concrete crew this year due to the large contract they lost. So, instead of going back to work in March/April, he learned that he was out a job unless he wanted to take a substantial pay cut and go on the dirt crew. He was waiting things out to see what else he could do and luckily, a better job has come through. I am hoping it works out for him. The job situation here is just sooo horrible. I am realllllly hoping that by the time I get my degree, there will be plenty of jobs in my field. I watch the job sections all the time to see if there are jobs in my field, and there are usually a few listed. But, if I have to, we will move out of state, like soooo many before us have done.

Well, i need to get to bed, busy mornings now with him working! Take care

He hears

when we pray...and in His time, He answers them. My brother called last night and asked to talk to Jeremy. He and his fiance manage an adult foster home, through a company that owns many of these types of homes. In fact, the family that owns all these homes also owns rental homes and some other businesses, I believe. Anyway, Matt called to see if Jeremy would want to work maintenance for the owner. They need another maintenance person. So, Jeremy started work this morning at 8:30am. It won't be full time necessarily, because it is an as-needed position. However, some days will be long and others short, and some days they won't work. But, it is so much more than we had. I am so thankful. It will help Jeremy feel better, because he has come quite cantankerous lately due to not working, stressing over money and such. He does best when he is working, keeping busy, making some money. Many have been praying that he would get work somehow in this rough economy....those prayers have been answered and I feel so blessed this morning. Praise God. I never doubted that things would work out because He has never let me down before. In my darkest hours of need, He has been there. He has kept my needs met even if by His own way, rather than mine. Sure, it would be easier if money just fell in our laps, or a super job landed on our doorstep. But, we have always had what we needed and have never truly gone without. Interestingly enough, Sunday's sermon was pretty much about this very type of thing. When Jesus was attending that marriage ceremony in which the host had run out of wine, Mary said to the servants: Whatever He says unto you to do, do it. And while the servants thought it strange to fetch water to fill the water pots and even stranger still to serve the governor of the party a cup of water....they did it. And behold, as the governor drank from that glass, he praised the bride-groom for saving the best wine for last. Our preacher went on to talk about the importance of trusting in God and having faith. If we seek Him, we will find Him, if we follow Him, He will see that our needs are met. And as the preacher said this, I couldn't help but think how true it has been in my life. That's how I can get through the toughest times. I know that I am not alone and that He will see me through. What a blessing!

On another note, Makenneh wanted to fly her kite yesterday. Well, I haven't flown a kite since, well, since I was probably her age. There is a technique required in order to get the kite in the air and keep it in the air. I have lost that technique or perhaps I never had it. I am sure that dad got my kite in the air and handed me the handle thing. Well, we tried, and tried, to no avail. It isn't as easy as it sounds. But, she had fun anyway and that's what counts. not to mention, running around, back and forth, well, it's good exercise.

Carrie goes to Ann Arbor today for a consultation regarding her impending surgery. I believe they will be setting a surgery date today and I will keep everyone updated. I do feel soo much better knowing that she is in the best hands. I was glad she opted for UofM hospital rather than staying local. It just seems that with something this touchy, it is best to go with the best! Please continue to keep her in your prayers as she undergoes this next leg of her journey. He is up there listening...because in addition to Jeremy's job, Liberty's jaundice seems to have gone away without the need for any further testing.

Well, I am off to hang another load of clothes on the line. Enjoy your day!!!

Past my bedtime

Isn't she just precious? She is getting so big, so fast. She is already 9lbs 4oz as of her last appointment, 2 weeks ago. Hard to believe that had she gone full term, she would only be 2 weeks old. Instead, she is 6 wks.

This is from Mother's Day. Makenneh, Keeley (Sara's little sister), Kaden and Sebastian. They were riding around in Kaden's "truck".



Excuse the messy kids, but tonight, they broke out the guitars and rocked on for us. I had to get a picture of it. It was cute and annoying because those toy guitars are loud and obnoxious.
I should be in bed. But, the camera is here and I wanted to upload some of the pictures of the kids. So, that has my up. May is "Ketchup" month at church and the members break into teams to see which team can bring the most guests for the month. Those who have a 75% increase get to go to a Tiger's Game. So, yes, it has brought me to church. We are going again tomorrow. It looks as though Makenneh and the rest of the team (my parents, sister and her family) will be going to a Tiger's game. I hope so, because I really think Makenneh will enjoy it.

Today was Sara's bridal shower (my brother's fiancee). Carrie was able to go and did well. But,..from our family, only a few people showed up. What can you do, I guess. Obviously some of them have real reasons....distance, health, previous commitments. But, a few have really no excuse and yet don't bother.

Well, I need to get to bed...I am miserable with allergy/sinus dysfunction and need my rest. I have a busy morning/afernoon.

That was fast...

I was sitting on the computer at Carrie's yesterday, around 1230pm, figuring I had several more hours of babysitting....and look up to see Dad pulling in the driveway with Carrie as a passenger. I couldn't believe how fast they kicked her out of the hospital. She was still pretty doped up with anesthetic. Dad helped her up the steps and then she went right in to bed and crashed. But, everything went well and continues to go well. She should be able to breastfeed now, if she feels up to it. In fact, the anesthesiologist said she could breastfeed later that same night if she felt up to it.

Both my kids are having severe mommy withdrawals. It is horrible. It would seem that because I have no classes right now, I would have more time...but I don't. I am always having something to do. Today, mom volunteered me to go with Sara to Detroit Metro to pick her friend up. That is going to take a good portion of the day. The flight comes in at 1230. Meanwhile, Makenneh tells me that she thinks I hate her and that's why I am never home. If that isn't a heartbreak, I don't know what is. Of course it doesn't help either that mixed into this, she has been such a brat. I have tried to explain to her that when she is mean and ornery, nobody wants to be around her. I have said that if she wants to enjoy people's company, she has to be nice and kind. I am going to work on spending more time with them because they do need it. But, I am also going to be firm with her, that if/when she starts acting like a brat, time is up. I am also going to have a talk with my mom about just volunteering others for things. She has a habit of doing this. It puts you on the spot when you are told, "well your mom said you would be able to do xyz." She does it to my dad, to everyone really.

I finished the baby blocks I made for Jeremy's cousin's babyshower. They are in a box, ready to be wrapped. But, I got to thinking that maybe I would just put them in a gift bag instead. We'll see. I hate wrapping.

Sara's bridal shower is tomorrow and we have to make mostaccioli for it. Mom is at Carrie's helping out and that leaves me. And I am going to be be tied up in Detroit all day. Mark my words on this. I bet I don't get back until later tonight. I am going to be chomping at the bit for sure. I was hoping to get the mostaccioli all mixed up and ready to go so that tomorrow we just top with cheese and bake until done. The shower is at 1, we are going to be at the hall at 12 to set up. So, it has to be done and ready by then.

Well, I am going to get off here and get some things picked up around here, while I wait for Sara to get here.

Update

Carrie made it through surgery well. Thanks for all the prayers, but please continue to pray for a successful recovery. The surgeon said she had one stone the size of a grape and lots of "gravel". He said "that was one irritated gall bladder." Of course, we knew that...Carrie more than anyone. If she ate the simplest, smallest portion of something with a teeny tiny too much fat, she would pay for it. I am sure she will be glad to have this done.

She will be home later today, following recovery. It is amazing that gall bladder surgery is out-patient. Of course, she would miss her little baby if she had to stay overnight.

Well, I am going to make the most of the few moments Liberty is napping.....Ill continue to update.

This and that

-started yesterday, tues 5/12....

Hmm, what to post today. I know I've said it before, but it seems that the days I don't make it to the computer, I have such great topics to discuss. However, when I get a chance to get on here, it's as if I get writer's block. Can't think of single thing of interest to discuss. I could mention how I feel as though I am going out of my mind this evening. Just.go.to.bed.already. PUUULLLEEAAASSE!

Makenneh had a meltdown today. Over what? A baby robin. She found their nest yesterday and watched them. She was so excited to tell me all about the baby birds this morning. She said she would show me when she got home from school. (She discovered them last night while I was at bunco.) So, she gets home, all excited to tell grandma and they go out there to discover the birds were being taught how to fly. Fly away baby birdies. She didn't think that was good. And she cried and cried, reall sobs, with real big, gigantic tears because she loves them and they will go away and never come back and look mom, that bird doesn't want to leave me. He loves me. Why does his mom want him to fly. I don't want him to fly, i want him to stay down here with me. Beeeccaaauuuusee Iiiiii LOOoooooooveeee Himmmm. Mooooooom.

Oh my what do you say to all that?! Makenneh it is part of nature. It is how God designed it. Birds are hatched, they grow wings and fly away. That's just what they do. The birds belong to God, not us. We get to watch them, enjoy them, even feed them...but we can't keep them. If he stayed here and never learned to fly he would die. That wouldn't be nice would it? And besides are you going to chew up worms to feed to him, because I certainly won't. She cried for quite some time over the bird. This child and animals.

THe past couple of days she has been sooo emotional. Almost like a pre-teen getting ready for her first period. It's insane.

A tire on my car blew out today. Thankfully it happened while it was just me and Jeremy in the car. So, that car will remained parked until we get the money to get some work done on the front end, because otherwise it continues to chew through tires. WE can't afford that. We just put tires on it March 23rd. They were used, but we did that because we knew they would get chewed up. Just didn't think it would be that fast. I could cry about it, but it won't change anything. I will just be thankful that I don't have classes right now and nowhere in particular to be besides the Senior Center, which I have cut down to once a week.

-finished today, 5/13

Yeah, mom jumped on the computer when I got up to get kids in bed. So, I had to finish this post today. I had a rough "day at the office" today. I have only been going in to the Senior Center on Wednesdays now. My class is over and technically, I don't have to go at all. But, I love it there and Ruben loves having me there. If he had his way, I think I would be there every day. I am also learning valuable things to take with me and have opportunity for certain certificates/training. So, I continue to volunteer. Anyway, today was a day that brought to life many of the real dilemmas I will face as a Social Worker. We had one client come in because her house is set to be condemned today and that leaves her with 30 days to find somewhere to live and no money to do it, a heft mortgage still owed on her house, and a mooch of a guy who lives with her (she fostered him as a child and well, she is still fostering him despite his being 50 yrs old). He is an alcoholic and basically bleeds her dry. She said she will be homeless before she will live in a senior housing complex where he can't go. She also stated she would die in that house if he can't go wtih her. It is sad. Completely sad. So, we are working on finding her a place to live. She insists she wants a place where she can garden and plant flowers. I suggested a mobile home community then, as it will give her a little yard to do just that. The bad thing is, if she would just go with the senior housing she would have access to so many amenities. And reduced rent. Hopefully something works out for her. We also had a lady call who has no money for food, needed numbers for food pantries. it is just so sad to see senior citizens in these predicaments. We call them the golden years but for many, there is nothing golden about them.

Carrie got a call today that she has to be at the hospital at 6am for her surgery, rather than 7, so that means I have to be to her house at 5am. Going to be an early morning and long day. I am going to watch Liberty while Ralph and my mom go to the hospital with Carrie. Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers as she undergoes this surgery.

On Mother's Day, after the service at church, we all formed a prayer circle, with Carrie, Ralph and Liberty in the middle. We prayed for their health....both for Carrie with all she has going on and for Liberty with her jaundice. The preacher annointed Liberty with oil. Today, the jaundice coloring seems to be gone. Hopefully that means that things are better. We are still waiting for the ultrasound results. I will post when we find out.

Yeah, so I had to cut my post short on Mother's Day, after talking to my brother, because he called to vent about mom. The two of them have had some sort of animosity for a year or so, for who knows why. Neither of them can say a reason, it's just there. He is upset because he feels mom doesn't come over to see Kaden enough. Mom's upset because they never come over here. I think they are both struggling with the change in the family dynamic. Mom not being able to be the "other" woman in his life and he not able to understand the difference btwn daughter/family and son/family. Typically, it seems that the daughter/wife is closer with her family and therefore, more things get done with her family. When wife is unsure of something to do with parenting, she calls her mom. When holidays come around, she organizes time around her family. The leftovers go to the in-laws. Then, mom didn't get any of the kids anything for Easter this year. Money is very tight with dad's layoff. Well, he assumed that she got stuff for my kids and liberty. I assured him she didn't. Well, Carrie and Ralph had done a family basket because she had her baskets in storage in the attic and didn't want to dig them out. Rather than buy 2 new baskets (for liberty and chris), she did one big basket. She brought that basket here on Easter for pictures. Well, Matt saw that basket and assumed that it was from mom and dad. Anyway, it's hard to be placed in the middle of the mess. I can see some points from both sides, and I can see where each side can make changes to bring improvement to the situation. I told him I would talk to mom about it. I was very upset because I know he feels my kids are favored and in some ways, yes, there is a closer relationship but that is because from the time I had my kids, I have always brought them here, I have made the effort. It goes back to the difference in son/family and daughter/family. Then, of course, we are now living here. So, yes, my parents see my kids ALL the time. So, anyway, I talked with mom and hopefully have helped make some sort of a difference.

Makenneh just brought home her Kindergarten Graduation invites. We cut them and got them ready to give out. Of course, the very first person she said she wanted to invite was great grandma. It was so cute. She said, "I really want to invite great-grandma but I know she can't come because she lives up north and it is too far to drive here." We agreed that we could still send her an invite, as I am sure she would love to have one. And speaking of this graduation...it's on a Monday, at 10am. Who does that? What an odd time to have something like this?!

Well, I am off here for now....

Happy Mother's Day

Part of my Mother's Day gift was the picture from the daddy/daughter dance. Finally. I had just emailed the teacher the other day asking about it. Such a cute picture...although I wonder why they didn't choose a more loving/close pose. It's as if they are strangers or something. Does anyone agree with me/understand what I am saying? But cute nonetheless. Makenneh takes after her mommy in the giving department. The gift they did at school wasn't enough. Oh no. Of course, it was the picture (which really, I paid for them and was getting them anyway; they didn't do anything special with them such as put them in a frame) and a card with their handprint and a saying, which made me cry. Those always do. It reminds me that they grow so fast. =( She also planted me a flower in Sunday school and had grandma take her to the store to get me something. She picked out a purse, which is quite cute. I love it. THen, she saw flowers and had to get me some pink mums. I tried to tell her that whatever she made me at school was plenty. THe most important thing was to be a sweet girl..that makes mommy really happy. But, it wasn't enough for her. She also had to get great grandma a plaque. She is so thoughtful. For all the mouthiness and stubborness, she is a very thoughtful child. She wants to get things for everyone at every opportunity. At Sunday school, they earn "sunshine dollars" for things like brining their Bible, attending, memorizing verses and so on. Then, once every few months, they have a Sunshine Store at the church. It is a bunch of stuff that is usually donated (new) or bought from one of the funds. The kids can then spend their dollars on the items. Every time they have the store, she buys for several people, usually not getting anything for herself. It is so sweet. This last time, she got something for me (lotion, a pink stuffed elephant, also a "mother's day gift given early), a bib for liberty and something for someone else. If she is at the doctor and offered a sucker because she had a shot, she asks for one for her brother, too.

Anyway, I just got a call from my brother and I am going to stop this post here..i will continue it later and then post it.

Ok, it's actually Monday now. Boy, I had a rough morning. I was supposed to meet Carrie at the doc office for Liberty's ultrasound at 745...i overslept....and woke at 8. I rushed around and got up there to at least be in the waiting room when she was finished. THe good thing is, she didn't get any news, as it was just the test. She has to wait to get the results from her doctor.

Anyway, I am stopping here for now because I am taking Jeremy and Sebastian fishing. Makenneh didn't want to go. Darn, I was looking forward to a day to myself.

Finally

Wow, I finally got a chance to sit down and blog. When i do get a moment to blog someone is usually on the computer. Over the past few days, i had some good blog fodder...however, now that I get to actually sit down and type away, most of the thoughts have escaped.

We took the kids fishing Tuesday, after Makenneh got home from school. It was a nice little trip. I packed us a lunch and we enjoyed the outdoors. Makenneh, for all the bug-loving she has done, seems to be scared of spiders and gets the idea that if she sees one, well there must be millions and "how many spiders are there mom? one hundred and fifty seven?" Yeah, probably a little more than that, if I had to guess. But, out of sight, out of mind, right? Ha. She also hates the tiniest little ants. She squeals like, well, like a little school girl. I don't get it. This is the same child who, last summer, had no bones about catching and holding cicadas. These bugs are absolutely ugly. Yet, she is fearful of teeny tiny ants. Anyway, they caught some fish and I took some pictures with my junky camera. But, wouldn't you know I didn't have my memory card in there, and either way, well, I don't have the software to upload the pics. I was so frustrated with that. The kids tends to be a tad more interested in playing with the worms rather than fishing. They are really only into the fishing when there is a bite/fish.

Last night turned out to be crazy. My sister and Liberty were over and Carrie started having another gall bladder attack. She started gathering up the baby stuff and said she had to GO. So, we helped her get everything rounded up and she is in tears with the pain. I mentioned that she probably should let one of us drive her home. So, mom drove and I was following. Well, mom was quite aways ahead of me because she got out of the driveway before me (lightw as left on in my car, I had to tend to before leaving in her car). As I get about 2 miles from home, i see 4ways on a vehicle pulled off to the side of the road and i just knew. I called them and mom said carrie didn't think she was going to be able to make it home and that they were going to pull into the parking lot of a salon a few miles ahead so carrie could breastfeed the baby before going into the ER. Well, a couple miles up the road, they swing into the parking lot of the used tire shop. I follow suit. The pain is so bad, she couldn't even breastfeed. She was writhing in pain, with tears. I hate feeling so helpless. She attempted to feed the baby and just started bawling, saying, "I can't do it, i just can't." It was sooo horrible. I could feel her guilt at not being able to feed the baby. I assured it was okay. It would be. She decided she wanted an ambulance, in hopes of getting to ER faster. While waiting for them, she tried breastfeeding (bf) again and was able to, as she sat on the ground, in the parking lot, rocking back in forth. When the paramedic arrived, he asked his questions, assessing the situation and explained that because it wasn't "life threatening" he couldn't run with lights and sirens and would therefore just be taking it easy and could get her there no faster than we could. He said, I am just telling you this because some people opt not to take the ambulance to save themselves teh money. He stressed that if she still wanted to go, he would certainly take her. Well, after hearing that, she opted to have us take her. Anyway, to make a long story short...Ralph arrives and they start to leave, then pull back in. She decided the pain was getting better and she was going to go home and see how she did. So we went back to her place for awhile. She took the pain meds and was able to make it through the night. She called the surgeon this morning and the family doc. Hopefully she can get her surgery scheduled soon. We think she is finally decided to go to the UofM hospital for her other problem (in her nether regions). We all agree that it would be best. That will take place after the gall bladder because they consider the gall bladder life threatening (ironic then that the paramedic didn't...hmmmph). Liberty goes tomorrow for the test on her liver to see if it functioning properly. She may need surgery. It just seems to be one thing after another. I know my sister is ready to break. I hate it. I feel so absolutely helpless. Something has to turn around, get better. Please keep Carrie and Liberty in your thoughts and prayers.

Well, I guess, I shall be thankful I was able to type up a post and now I will wander on to other things!!!