I made it here

I made it here, finally! Feeling a tad frustrated. I had every plan to continue my education. I still do. However, I desperately want to get our own place...so much so that a cardboard box under the overpass is sounding more and more inviting. So, I thought I would apply for some jobs. With a job, we could rent my sister's house for a year while saving up to move to GA. I would enroll at GSU and go until I had that mighty Masters degree. The job hunt-not going so well. Then, I get a letter in the mail from Mott Comm College that I am no longer eligible for Financial Aid because I have earned 93 credits. First off, my transcript only shows 87. Gotta call and check on that. Then, will this effect my overall financial aid eligibility or just at mott? Don't know...something else to find out. I received letter from SVSU regarding cost of attending vs financial aid/student loans and it appears to my untrained eye that I am still about $8k short a year. Don't know how that could be unless there is some issue with financial aid. If that be the case,I will not be able to go back to college as there is no way in hell i can afford that. I am lucky to afford the gas to get me there and back. All this has my overwhelmed and quite frankly, depressed. I have to keep fighting the urge to stick my head in the sand. I have come too damn far to just give up that easily. Without at least a bachelors degree, all this hard work is almost useless. Most jobs require bsw minimum. Most actually want the MSW. I told Jeremy the other day that we just need a break, somewhere, somehow. Something has to give for us.

Add to this stress.....my baby sister is LEAVING in about 2 months. And taking with her my niece and another niece still in the oven. I try not to even think about it, but the truth is, just writing it is making cry. I am soooo happy for her but that selfish part of me doesn't want her to go. I know she has to and I would do the same if I were in her shoes. But she is my sister, my friend, and so much a part of my everyday life. Well, enough of that....gotta dry those tears up.