Wednesday, May 30, 2007

hot, painful and boring

That sums up the day thus far. We aren't doing too bad in here, yet. I have the fan going and trying to keep the sun out. Earlier i went out and weeded my flower bed and around the porch, etc. Big mistake. I am now in major pain from AF. I forgot what it's like to have these severely, almost debilitating periods, as i hadn't had them like this in so long. I have to remember that i can't over do it when it's that time of month. The good news is, my period came early this month (by a week), thanks to hanging out with family members on theirs..it seems to get me every time..lol. Anyway, this means, i shouldn't be on my period for sis's wedding, which is a blessing! I was not looking forward to being hot, bloated and miserable for her wedding. Now i just have being hot and miserable to look forward to...lol.

Im not looking forward to dinner tonight either. The only thing i really have to make for dinner involves using the oven. Ugh! Oh well..gotta eat!

Well, im off here for now.

Finally cut the jungle

That was growing in our yard. Our mower isn't working and with all the rain we have gotten, it was about knee deep. I couldn't let the kids out in the yard bc the mosquitos were abundant. But, we borrowed mom and dad's mower today and cut it. We fought over who would get to mow. LOL. I said i didn't mind mowing, he said he would mow...we went back and forth in friendly banter. I asked him why he never fights me over who gets to do the dishes. He said i could win that fight. Gee, thanks. LOL. I won the mowing too! I beat him to it! He did a couple swipes, but i took it back over. Now, we have nice short grass again! No more white trash yard! Well, except for all the kid toys in the yard. LOL.

I took makenneh to the doctor today~! So glad i did. He walked in and before he even got real close to her, said, "that's not poison ivy. Poison ivy is a weepy rash. It's most likely contact dermatitis." He asked if she has any other symptoms, so i told him she had complained of a sore throat saturday, she had felt mildly warm, but nothing that prompted me to get the thermometer. He said well it sounds like it may be viral then. He looked in her throat (and boy did she gag) and ordered a strep culture, which came back positive! So, she has strep! And that's one of the side effects,if you will, to the virus. One way her body is dealing with it. So, he gave me a Rx for penicillan and benadryl (thankfully bc i really didn't have the extra money to buy any right now). She is such a trooper. She doesn't like the penecillan but takes it anyway! She says, I not like that stuff. I can't believe how "normal" kids will be when they are sick. She was all hyped up today as if nothing was wrong. The sad news is, she can't go back to school until friday and well, their last day is Thursday. They have their end of the year field trip on Friday, though. We are going to Crossroads Village. I feel lazy, so google it if you are curious..lol. It's an old fashioned, historical village with everything set back to 1800s i believe. Maybe early 1900s. They have a blacksmith shop, doctors office, etc. There is a train ride you can take, an old ferris wheel and carasoul you can ride...it's a nice venue. They are going to have Thomas the Train there this summer! of course, tickets are like 16.00 a piece. What a racket!

The pressure is on for the wedding. We still haven't been called about our dresses coming in. Im gettin a bit nervous. I know i will need alterations for sure and we are done to like 5 weeks. Carrie is gonna call them tomorrow to see what's up. Hopefully they are in. Geesh, we ordered them back in Jan!

We are supposed to have a high of 90* tomorrow (probably today by the time you read this...for wednesday). IT's a record high i guess. Yippe. I live in a tin box. It heats up like crazy. Im not looking forward to it. Oh well. Can't change it. And for now, it beats snow! of course, tomorrow, i may be wishing for snow to cool myself off in. Have to stick my head in the freezer. One of the joys of living on your own. (Helen, remind your older kids of these little things...)..i can open the freezer and stand with my head in there and nobody is going to yell at me to shut it bc it's costing money. LOL. I can do it! And I do! OF course, give it a few years, and ill probably be saying that same thing to my kids. LOL.

And now on to a touchy subject. This has been weighing on my mind a lot lately and I just need to get it out. I've posted a little bit about my cousin Markie. She has a "friend" who is more than a friend, who happens to be a girl, too. Markie will be 16 the 31st of this month..so a few days. On that day will be 5 months that she has been "with" her girlfriend. well, most of those months, they were seperated bc of Markie and her family moving to AZ. Well, prior to their move to AZ, nobody really knew that Markie and A were more than friends. Something happened, i suppose, while in AZ where her dad found out. He has barred her from talking on the phone or using the internet at all, PERIOD, end of story. BECAUSE HE DOESN'T WANT HER TO TALK TO A. This just bugs the bajeebers out of me. I mean, they think it's cute for thier 11/12 yr old daughter to go over to her "boyfriend's" house (since she was about 10), but Markie can't even use a phone at all, bc she likes a girl. And her parents are just treating her like absolute crap and it all boils down to her liking a girl. They belittle/berate her, they keep her on a tight rope, they talk about "it" as if she has done some horrible thing....Example; Her dad says, "a bunch of shit went down and I will have to tell you about it some other time. It's just a bunch of shit..." all huffy and pissy. Well, he doesn'tknow that I know. He doesn't know that Markie has confided in me. They won't even let her go to that school district now that they have returned to MI. So, bc they were only in AZ about 6 weeks or less, Markie will get no credit for this semester unless she passes all exams with an 80% or higher bc she hasn't been in this new district long enough to get a grade and wasn't in AZ district long enough. IF they had put her back where she started, all that would have transferred and she wouldn't be facing a possible failure of an entire high school semester. Just stupid imo. I can't begin to tell you how sad and frustrated i am. Her dad has yet to "fill me on" on this horrific "thing" that is going on. I wish he would, bc i would tell him how i really feel. That I love her no matter who she loves. That she will always be my cousin. That who she loves doesn't change who she is. That she is still a human being deserving of common decency and respect. I could understand it if she and A had gotten into some big trouble or something...but they were absolutely fine with the two of them hanging out until he found out they were more than friends. So, i know it all boils down to the fact that Markie likes girls. The irony is, Markie's one aunt is a lesbian,living with her girlfriend. Mark (markie's dad) always glamourized it when it pertained to his sister in law and her gf. Even in front of the kids. But now that it is his daughter, it's nasty and disgusting? Please! So, just keep them in your thoughts and prayers. She is going through a difficult time as it is and the way her parents have been treating her over this has left her feeling very bad. Teen years are hard enough as it is,then when you add homosexuality in there, especially in a pretty conservative family..well, it's not a pretty sight. My heart just breaks every time i think about it. Why would a parent do that to their child? I will always love my children no matter what they do. My love for them is absolutely unconditional. I may not like certain things they do, i may not agree with all the choices they make along the way...but by God, I will always love them with all that I am, all that I have!

And with that note, i am off here

Monday, May 28, 2007

Long weekend over

Whew! The long weekend is over! It felt more than long. The bridal shower went very well! We found yesterday, though, that a lot of ppl didn't get thier invites. They were mailed. They weren't returned to sender..so we don't know what happened. Mostly it was on the groom's side. Sis got the addresses from her soon to be sister in law. We don't know if the list was just way outdated or what. Still doesn't explain why they didn't come back bc if the addresses were wrong, they usuallyget sent back to sender. One of his cousin's offered to go through all the addresses to see what we have. Thankfully mom didn't put the invites in the mail yet. They need to go out, soon, though!

Sunday we had our family picnic. The day started out raining buckets. But it turned out to be a nice day. Makenneh and daddy went for a walk along the bike trail that runs along the creek and they caught a frog. She was happy about that. She loved walking the bike path. Then, jeremy and my one cousin were playing catch awhile later and makenneh got hit with the baseball. It hit her in the ear and neck area. Then, we get home, she says she is itchy on her feet...jeremy starts lightly scratching her feet. He looks and notices that she has a rash all over her feet and legs. WE are thinking it's poison Ivy from the bike path. Well, the bike path is a nice paved path, but it is surrounded by green growth on both sides...all kinds of plants, flowers, trees, bushes, and even poison ivy. Jeremy said that they only went off the path once, to let the frog go back in the water. But, it only takes once. I am going to call the doctor in the morning to see about bringing her in, just to make sure that's what it is and see if he will write a Rx for some meds. for the itching. I know she is gonna be miserable. So, she has had a rough weekend, for sure!

Well, that's it for tonight, bc ineed to get a map for the wedding invites printed up.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

I can't wait

For this bridal shower to be over with. It has been stressful and heartbreaking. It seems as though every few days, we find out another close relative or bridal attendant won't be attending. Mom was talking to brother tonight and I guess they are going camping this weekend as well. Nice! He said he will have to figure something out, so at least, they will make an attempt for sara to be there. But still, we didn't forget when sara's baby shower was, a few weeks ago. I don't know. I can't help but feel bad for my sister. She has caught so much grief, if you will, lately and she finally broke down tonight. She usually holds herself together quite well. Tonight, she called my mom and broke down sobbing. Here is what all she has on her plate: A full time retail job (40 hours as lower management at an outlet store in our outlet mall), a 16 yo step son who has a psychotic alcoholic for a mother,w ho calls all the time drunk and rants and rages, her fiance's aunt Helen has just moved in with them bc she can no longer live on her own. she is 89 yrs old and was found on her floor a day after her one nephew had gone to check on her (as he did every other day), she has a wedding to plan, the shower and bachelorette party, she was just in another wedding may 19, so had all the functions and such of that wedding and all the helping out, 4 horses to look after, shall i continue? Well, to top it off, while she and Ralph were at work today, the nurse and physical therapist came out to see Aunt Helen. While trying to give her a bath, they dropped her, she fell and is in hte hospital. Did i mention she is 89 yrs old? Ralph is livid, Carrie is distraught. I mean, Aunt Helen is a small lady. Carrie bathes her herself and yet, here are 2 ppl, trained in this field, who drop her. Ralph had gone out to buy a shower seat thing for her, to prevent that very thing from happening. That all happened today. Also today, her step son, chris, got kicked out of school for 10 days. That means, the rest of the school year, meaning he misses exams, meaning he doesn't get credit for this semester at all. Ralph told him, NO going to GA this summer, as he will be in summer school. And last, she had a crappy day at work, to start it all out! No wonder she cracked. My head spins thinking of it all. she is 23 yrs old(right?..lol). That's a lot on her plate at one time for anyone. My mom mentioned to her tonight that she needs to use her Family Medical Leave of Absence to take a few days off a week or whatever she feels she needs. It is just too much. Of course, when planning a wedding, taking a pay cut is the last thing you want to do, but sometimes your sanity has to come first. Please say some prayers that everything works out for Carrie. And Aunt Helen, of course.

We did get a lot of things done for the wedding and the shower today. got all the invites for wedding assembled. Yes, assembled. She wanted them hand made. We had to cut out 160 +/- each of a cowboy hat, cowboy boot and a horseshoe. The inv is 3 pieces each. The horseshoe on top says their names and "Lucky in Love", next is the boot, it has all the wedding invitation info, next is the hat and it has the reception info. They are real cute...tied together by twine. We also got the basket decorated for the silverware. I had the idea and i must admit, it is absolutely gorgeous. I will have to take pics and share them. We came up with an idea for the card box for wedding...an old fashioned safe like they used in the west at the banks, made out of a box and some craft supplies. WE accomplished so much today. We are finally pretty set for the shower. My mother in law is making copies of the game sheets and we have to assemble the game booklets. We also have to do the food and wrap the prizes for the games. That should be about it.

Well, all this writing (*moreso what i wrote) has me drained. Im off for now!

Can I go to bed, now?

Busy day! I spent the majority of it working on the games and such for the shower. I am doing up little booklets for each guest, with the game sheets in it. I did a lot of hunting for pictures, designing, printing, cutting, putting together today. I think i have everything set now.

Sebastian was sleeping when i got home from picking up Makenneh. That was nice! Thanks, Honey! But, makenneh was up til 1230. She was just go go go! she no sooner fell asleep, i checked my mail, all 84 messages (thank you freecycle) and then just as i was about to click on my bookmarks, sebastian woke up. He came out here crying and is now on the couch, still awake! Ugh! I am past ready for bed. I have to be up early and head to my mom's to work on shower stuff....then rush from there to get makenneh home so her and daddy can go to her classroom to assemble their kite and fly it! I'm so excited for her! I hope it goes well for them!

Update on Jeremy's cousin, Sarah (so many sarah/saras around here): She was in surgery from about 10am until 5pm. What a long day for her mom! I just know she had to be beside herself! But, the surgery went well. The anurysm was larger than they anticipated and they decided to remove it and repair the veins and vessels affected by it. She pulled through good and last we heard, she was in recovery. Once she was done ther,e they were putting her in ICU for 24 hours. Continue to pray that it all goes well from here on out!

The day was decent. I did wake up to a sweet note from Jeremy, just as I figured I would. That was enough for me. When he got home, we made dinner and watched tv. I refrained from getting on the computer (even though i had this shower stuff needing finished). It was a nice evening!

Well, that's it for tonight!

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Happy Anniversary - But Prayers First!

I want to start out by saying that Jeremy's cousin is going in for surgery in the morning to have a brain anurysm (I know i spelled that wrong) removed. She is around 21 yrs old(maybe even a little younger). They told her that until they get in there, they aren't sure if they will remove the anurysm or just bypass it. Please say a prayer that all goes well. Her mom is a basket case. Add to this that his other cousin(they are sisters) is getting married July 21 and their step sister is getting married june 23. So, she has the emotion and stress of the 2 weddings and them being close and then this. She is a very emotional person to begin with and she even broke down and cried a couple times at the bridal shower on sunday.

Tomorrow (techincally today, as it is past midnight) is our 3rd Anniversary! It feels like it has been forever. I can't believe it has only been 3 yrs. I don't know if that is a good thing or not...lol. Anyway, we aren't doing anything special for it and I actually didn't even get him a card, which is so unlike me. I wrote him a cute lil note telling him happy anniversary and if he doesn't wake up late for work, he will actually see it...lol.

Oh we are feeling the stress of the shower and wedding. We are down to less than a week for the shower and have so much to do, it seems. I know deep down that it will all come together. It always does. But, i feel so out of control i don't like it. I am usually on top of things like this, but i have had so much going on, my lack of meds and well, i've had my head in the sand. Im pulling it out now and gotta busta move! WE are getting no help from the wedding party and the whole shower is falling on me and mom (and Carrie, bless her heart). She did find out that her one bridesmaid will actually be able to make it. (prior to this, she wasn't sure she would have hte day off work). I just found out yesterday that one of our aunts won't be there bc they are going camping. That hurts more than i can express. They go camping every year. Granted, it's memorial weekend. But we are supposedly a "close" family. It just seems to me that your neices shower (that will only happen once, God willing) and you can camp any other time (they camp almost every weekend of the summer) and you can camp again next year. But oh well. She said to me, I couldn't believe you guys planned it for this weekend bc we always go camping. UMMMMM...should we cut into our one cousin's graduation party? Or another cousin's wedding? or one of many other grad parties we have? or other weddings and showers we had? I don't think she realizes the stress and hassle we had in picking a date. We had so many other plans to dodge, that we couldn't possibly take into account camping trips, fishing trips, whatever else, too. She wouldn't have been able to have a shower at all. Anyway, the funny thing is, i was just telling jeremy about this: He hates to go to things. He doesn't do crowds too well. I told him that you have to go to ppl's things, bc some day our kids will be having celebrations and we will want ppl to attend. What goes around, comes around. The very next day, i found out my aunt wasn't coming. Hmmm. Good point to keep in mind. Her kids are getting close to weddings and babies.

Well, I need to get to bed. This is going to be a long week.

Saturday, May 19, 2007

One week to go

Until my sister's bridal shower. I feel so completely unorganized. So, this week is going to be spent getting organized. I know we have pretty much everything we need for the shower, but it's getting the prizes wrapped up, wrapping the silverware, printing the game we are playing, things like that. Then, i have to start working on the bachelorette party planning. I designed the invite, but can't print them off until sis finalizes the plans. I let her choose what we are doing, bc i hate when the bridal party just makes the plans and that's that. sometimes, it's not what the bride wants. Sis is very unique and i wanted this to be fun for her most of all. She chose to go to the free country music fest. It's an all day deal. There are several country new comers and then a main headliner. I do not know who the main headliner is, though. After that (I insist we won't feel like doing anything after being out in the sun all darn day, but hey....i'll go along with whatever) we are going to go to a bar that has karoake so she (and all of us) can sing and dance! So, those are the basics. And this way, if someone can't make it to the music fest, they can just meet up with us at the bar or vice versa.

I am feeling a tad better, mentally. I'll take that. Things are going well on the marriage front. I told him that from now on, he will always know what i am thinking. I am no longer going to hold things in to stew about them and i asked that he do the same. We are in this together and neither of us can be afraid to say how we feel or what we think. My cousins, Markie and Allana, wanted to keep the kids this weekend, while they stayed at thier gma's, so i let them. They love having the kids. And, it gave Jeremy and I time to reconnect. Not to mention, our anniversary is on tues, so we can celebrate it early, although, we are doing absolutely nothing special. We are laying around, watching tv, movies.

We didn't go to the wedding today. Well, i didn't plan on going to the actual wedding anyway, but he didn't feel like going to the reception and i was on the fence about it. We can't afford any extras right now and I really don't have anything to wear. My wardrobe is drab at best. It's horrible. I did get a coupon for Lane Bryant...$15 off a $15 or more purchase. The kicker is, if you have never shopped there, is that their clothes are quite expensive and the ones that are "perfect priced" (meaning in my price range) can't be purchased with the coupon. Nor can clearance or otherwise discounted clothing. So, I know i have used this same type of coupon there before and got some great deals, but that was also when i had a bit of spending money in my ass pocket. Now, i don't. I might go check it out and see if i can find a top that won't be too much after the discount. I have a few skirts that are nice, but no tops to match. So, that would help. I have tried on freecycle a few times, but it gets frustrating. One time i drove a good 25 mins away (expressway) and the clothes were horrible. most of them had GM logos on them or other types of advertising and were actually moreso mens style clothing. I don't want to wear those. I did give a lot of them to my dad. I can't believe they posted them as women's plus size. The few women's clothing in there were stained to high heaven and i wouldn't run around my home in them, much less step out my door in them. Now, with gas being 3.50 a gallon (which i hate to complain about, after figuring out the cost Helen pays in England), we can't afford for me to waste gas chasing "free" clothes. LOL. Maybe I will try posting a wanted and specify no stains, etc. That may help!

Tomorrow, I am going with my mother in law (I am just going to refer to her as Chris from now on, k? LOL) to that bridal shower. We were able to get a nice gift for only 15.00 each. That wasn't so bad. WE got a cute lined wicker laundry basket (med in size) and filled with laundry soap, fabric softener, stain remover, tide pen, lint brush, lingerie bag, heavy duty plastic hangers and a few other things. It looks nice and wasn't too expensive. And while it's nothing she registered for, it's all stuff she (anyone) can use. Chris even called her sister (bride's mom) to find out what kind of laundry soap. I personally probably would have just gone with a middle of the road laundry soap, but that's me. At least this way, we know it's what she uses. Oh and we made a little booklet full of household hints to put in with it.

Well, that's all i have for now. Nothing exciting, nothing funny, nothing witty!

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Update

I have meant to get over here and update, but to be honest, mental exhaustion has kept me from here. But, i wanted to update and so here it is:

My mom kept the kids tues and I went and picked Jeremy up from his brother's, where he had stayed monday night. We did a lot of talking and crying. We accomplished so much. Some key points is the financial strain boiling over into every other aspect of our lives/marriage, different ideas about parenting and having kids too soon. We got pg very shortly after starting to date and well, it didn't leave much time for just us. Add to that the financial strain and well, it means a lot of extra work. We both agree that we don't want to throw our marriage away. We came up with some things to make it better. We really considered seperation for awhile thinking it would help us out, but when i really thought about it, i don't think so. FOr one, if i have to take the kids and go stay at my parents' house, packing everything up, etc. it will just be more for me and less for him, kwim? But, in order for him to keep his job, he can't really stay anywhere else, bc he wouldn't have a way to get to work, as the guy he rides to work with lives right by here. So, we have to take that into consideration as well. Of course, as soon as we got our marriage figured out and were both feeling better about things, I got a letter in the mail yesterday from our office ..demand for payment or possession. I don't understand as first of all, we paid half of hte rent by the 5th when it was due and it is only the 16th (so only 11 days late for the other half) when they send this. I had severe anxiety attacks all day yesterday. Oh and on top of all that, i don't know if i mentioned my license situation in the last post or not, but monday i got a letter in hte mail that my license is suspended for a ticket i owe. So, we are in a very screwed spot right now. Everything is caving in around us. And i have my sis's bridal shower next weekend. I have already gotten all the paper products and most of hte food is covered, but i still need to get stuff to make taco salad for a large group and also any other odds and ends, last min. things as well as a gift! This weekend is a wedding on sat and bridal shower on sunday. Grrr.

I'm just fighting hard to keep my head above water. If i let myself go under, it may a long time to pull myself back up. I did find a bottle of one of the meds Im supposed to be on (from when we were switching things aroudn to see what would work best) so i think i need to start taking them to help take the edge off of everything. THere is a lot piled on my plate right now, im having bad anxiety attacks and I need something to keep me up.

Well, that's about it from me for now. yesterday was a great day, emotionally. The kids were really good, i kept the house clean and all that jazz. Today, i didn't want to get up, i laid on the couch all morning and now this place is trashed, i feel exhausted beyond death and blah!

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

May be Good Bye for awhile

I don't wanna go into all of it right now, but we had an argument tonight (I don't think u can really call it that, but he blew up) and well, he is staying at his brothers tonight, but wants me to have my stuff out by tomorrow. The kids of course would be going with me. I know, you may be wondering why me and hte kids would leave...but the truth is, i cannot pay the bills here and if he goes anywhere else, he will not have a way to work. So, it's really teh only way to do it.

We are going to meet tomorrow and talk about everything, but i don't know where that will lead us. I don't know what to think or feel at this moment. I've done a lot of crying but ive also had moments of peace. I just have to remember that whatever is meant to be will be. If we do split, it will be very rough. I won't lie. But, it will be something i will have to get through. Most likely the kids and i will go to my parents, but im just not sure right now. If we go there, there is no internet, so i would rarely, if ever get to update. I do have some nearby relatives with internet connection and so i could pop in here and there to update.

I just want to thank all of you for reading and giving your input. I will miss everyone if things dont work out on the home front. Please pray for us and that God will give us the strength to go forward in whichever direction we are supposed to go.

Hugs,
Christina

Saturday, May 12, 2007

My children

They were playing so great a little while ago. Well, it wasn't play so much, more of interacting. Sebastian was tired. Jeremy had gotten up to go take a shower and Seb was right on his heels. He turns to me, blows me kisses and continued to follow daddy. I said to Jeremy...he thinks you are going to bed and he is going with you. So, why not see if he wants to lay and snuggle with you. Seb stopped halfway down the hall and started yelling. He comes to me and Makenneh says, "you want me to take you to your daddy? I will take you, come on." She reaches for his hand, he takes it and they go off down the hall, hand in hand. My heart just melted. Then, after a few mins, Seb comes out and Jeremy says he wants a drink. So, I go to get him a drink and makenneh says, Mommy i will get him a drink of water, mommy. So she goes in the bathroom to fill it with water. Then, I go to my bedroom and she had brougth him a blanket, pillow and toys. Well, Seb decided he didn't want to be sleep in bed with daddy so he came back out here. Makenneh says, come on buddy, i will sing you a lullabye. And she did. it was so beautiful! Now they are both on the couch, eating popcorn and watching "The Adventures of Milo & Otis". And, speaking of that movie, why couldn't they have cleaned Milo's ears out better? It looks like he has a serious case of ear mites...ewww!

My brother and Sara picked me up today and we went and got steaks for Mother's Day cookout, then went and got mom's gift. She wanted a rock tumbler. She has one, but this one is a double drum tumbler.

This week I should be able to get down to the college to get my financial aid taken care of. I really hope so!

Well, I'm done for now! Just waiting for Makenneh to go to sleep!

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Bunco

Seems how Julie mentioned that she didn't know what Bunco is (and most people don't), I will try to explain it.

It's a dice game. We have 12 women (well we are currently short a couple) and we use 3 (card) tables with 4 chairs per table. One table is the "head" table and controls the bell. Then there is table 2 and the "boobie" table. As we arrive, we pick a seat. The person sitting across from you is your partner for that round. Once everyone has arrived and is seated, the head table rings the bell. One person will begin rolling the 3 dice. We each have a score sheet with six sets of 6 (numbered 1-6, 1-6,1-6). We start with ones. You roll the dice, if you get any 1s,you continue to roll, accumulating points. If you get 3 of a kind it equals 5 pts. If you roll 3 ones, then it's a bunco and you and your partner automatically win that round. Otherwise, you roll the dice until you don't get any ones (or the number we are on for each round). Then, you pass to the next person. The person sitting across from you gets to count your points as well (hence, partners). If nobody buncos, the first team to 21 wins. However, the head table is in control of the bell, so as soon as a team at the head table wins (be it a bunco or reaching 21), they ring the bell. At that time, if the other tables are still playing, they must stop and the team with the most points wins. Then, follow closely....if you are at table 2 or boobie, the losers stay at that table, but one person moves seats so as not to be with the same partner. If you are at the head table, the losers leave and one of the winners has to move so as not to be partners again. So, all night you are at very least moving seats. After all 6 sets are played, we add up the number of wins we each have and award prizes accordingly. The most wins gets first and so on down to 4th place. Then the person with the most buncos wins a prize. The person with the least number of wins gets "boobie" prize. It is possible (and common) that the person winning most buncos also gets a 1-4th place prize as well.

Each month, one of us hosts us (our months are determined in December when we draw to see who hosts when). When you are the host, you provide a place to play (usually your home, although some have used club houses or another member's home if needed. LIke, my place is too small, so i usually have it at my mom's). You also provide food and drinks and you get to buy the prizes which is purchased with money that we all put in each month. It's 5.00 to play and so 60.00 is collected. We have an allotted amount to spend per each prize, with most money spent on first place. And you can shop where ever you choose, buy what you want.

It's quite fun. The biggest rule is: NO MEN, NO CHILDREN! We rarely ever have alcoholic drinks; usually lemonade, tea, pop, whatever. It may sound a bit confusing, but it's actually far easier to just play as opposed to "being taught". The rules of the game sound so complicated that it scares most ppl. We always tell them, just learn as we go..it's really easy!

And now on to the rest of my post:
It rained all day here. But, i didn't mind. It was still warm out and i love the sound of rain. It was an ok day. Sebastian is really capitalizing on the terrible twos!

I'm beginning to stress about all the money we are going to need soon for all these showers and weddings and such. We have a wedding on the 19th and a shower on the 20th. Then the following w/e is my sister's shower. For the shower on the 20th, (it's my husband's cousin), I am going in on a gift with my mother in law. We decided to get one of the laundry baskets off her registry, then fill it with different household things (and i can use coupons at Kroger and get them doubled up to 1.00 and save a lot of money). Then we are going to make up a little booklet or something of that nature with household hints. So, if you have any good ones, feel free to leave them and I will include them. A lot of the things on her registry are pricey and I hate spending say 30.00 just to have an iron to give. She registered for a spice rack that is 55.00. Yikes. And 20.00 for a waste basket for the bathroom. It isn't even anything special. Just white and plain. But, I digress. Just not my style. I just don't want to give a gift that is just a waste basket (yet that is what is in my price range). But this idea we have is nice and it's stuff everyone can use. So, she is still getting the laundry basket she wants plus a bunch of household things that she can use. I may get crafty and include something like a covered photo album. But we will see.

Tonight i made Mother's Day cards for everyone we needed cards for. I have tons of scrapbook supplies, but never have an opportunity to scrapbook (can't get all that stuff out with kids running amuck). So, i put it to good use. They turned out very nice. Much better than any store bought card, if i do say so myself! Makenneh helped with some of them, but she was easily distracted with making her own creations for her friends....lol. No big deal. Our plans for Sunday are going to church, then to my brother's for a cook out. I would much rather go out to eat, but i hate the crowds that days like that bring. And most places don't take reservations unless they are real fancy and well, we don't do fancy. So, this works. And Mom said she wants a new rock tumbler. Yippee. LOL. She is into rocks. But, like dad says, it's a cheap hobby. Some women are shopaholics or whatever...rocks are free and fun to scavenge for. But, the tumbling of them can be a wee bit pricey. OH well, it makes her happy. She has a whole tote full of rocks she got when they went up to Lake Superior (I think it was). Then, I think I'm gonna have Kenneh plant some flower seeds in the peet pots I have to give to the grandmas as well.

Oh my, these kids are wound up like mad tonight. Sebastian mostly. the kid has boundless energy. I need to borrow some from him.

Well, that's all she wrote for tonight. Need to make my rounds on here and crack down on these kids.

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Nothing like Bunco night when you need it most

Ahhhh, bunco! Thank God it was tonight! My mother in law was coming to pick me up, so ihad her drop kenneh off at school. I had made arrangements with my brother to pick her up if jeremy didn't find the keys. Well, we hadn't gotten kenneh to school and he had found them. He is good at finding things when they awol! Thankfully, bc im not. I get too upset and frustrated. I was crying and just too darn upset to even see straight. He found them btwn the loveseat and desk..i had looked there...didnt see them. Ah well. One beer (yuck, i hate that stuff) and a 1st place prize from bunco later...i feel much better! All is well that ends well, right?

And best yet, i came home to sleeping family. Ahh, the peace and quiet. Bunco ran sooo late. My mom was supposed to be out of work at 6...didn't get out til like 7. Then they had to drive abut 35-40 mins to get to bunco....meanwhile, my mother in law, karen and I were already there. So, we just hung out and chatted until they arrived. I just got home about 11pm. of course, mom took back roads home and then we stuck waiting for a train for 30 mins. Yes, that is thirty minutes, one half hour! Crazy~

We even cut bunco short, we normally play 6 rounds of 6. Tonight, we stopped one round short, bc ppl had to get home. It worked out well for me, bc i won first place. I never win. I swear i don't. Much less, 1st! So, i am happy. I got a bath and body works gift set, some b&bw room spray and the wallflower. Nice! I won the first 6 games straight. That's always nice!

So, now im just unwinding. My poor hubby is sleeping on 3/4of the couch, with his feet hanging off the arm of the couch. Seb is on the other quarter of the couch, near jeremy's head. I tried waking jeremy to get into bed, but he was dead to the world. Looks like i get the bed to myself tonight...woohoo! JK, i feel bad. I will try to wake him again in a little bit.

And that's all she wrote for tonight!

I give up

I got us ready to take Makenneh to school....went to grab keys out of my purse....gone. I have hunted high and low, everywhere in btwn...no effin keys. It is 80*, I am dripping sweat, on the verge of tears...no keys, no car. I cannot afford to get a new key made, I don't have a spare, we are just screwed. Top it off..the windows are down and it's supposed to rain. I just want to go to sleep and wake up some other day...when things are better. I can't take anymore.

Oh and Sebastian just can't help but screatch and scream all day. I give

Not ready for Morning

Well, Jeremy got up shortly after I posted my 3am post! So, I was able to go back to sleep around 5am. He stayed up with the kids while getting ready for work. Makenneh had the desire to clean her room at 4am. That's what she did. Sebastian sat out in living room just fighting sleep. At some point, Makenneh came in and slept with me and Sebastian must've fell asleep before Jeremy had to leave for work. That part is good. The bad part is, Sebastian was up and in my room just before 9am. I was still interested in some more sleep. The little guy, not so much. Jeremy says it should mean they will go to bed early tonight. I had to laugh...they sure didn't go to bed early last night. But, I have bunco tonight, so he will be home with them. And of course, he is usually ready for bed by 9....i won't be home til a bit later, as the hosting this month lives about 35 mins away and we have to start about an hour later bc of ppl's work schedules and the distance we have to travel. So, he is hoping it's an early night!

Well, just wanted to update....someone send of sleepy vibes to this little boy of mine...so that I may have a little nap today!

It's 3am

and both kids are up. grrrrr

I went to bed around 1ish....throat sore. Sebastian came in our room just before 3am. I put himin bed, but he wouldn't lay still. I had to get up to pee and he freaked out. So, i brought him to living room....makenneh ended up waking up too. My throat hurts sooo damn bad, they are being little brats and i just cried. It hurts to talk, or even open my mouth, yet makenneh wants to carry on full conversationsa nd ask a million questions. Sebastian doesn't want me out of his sight. it's 3am and i want to go back to bed, but they think its freakin party time. Which would be more understndable if they had gone to bed early, but that wasn't the case. I just want them to go back to sleep! Sebastian is being a big huge jerk for lack of anything nicer to say about it. of course, im extra irritable at this hour of hte morning, and having htem up misbehaving,well it isn't cutting it with me.

Ok,he is hanging on me, whining....im gonna go. Hopefully i don't lose my cool much more. I know, bad mommy, send me to hell. Sorry, but im still human and this shit isn't cool. I am miserable and sick and just want SLEEP!

Monday, May 07, 2007

dreams

Makenneh seems to be dreaming a lot lately. Every morning she wakes up with dreams to talk about. They are usually about her cat or Diego (from Go, Diego Go) or bunny rabbits. I think she is having a bit of trouble sorting reality from dreams. I imagine it has to be a bit confusing for young kids. Last night she kept talking about her black bunny and she wanted to go get him. I had no idea what she was talking about. She has stuffed bunny rabbits but none are black. We have never owned a pet bunny. Well, i was telling my sister about it last night and she said that Makenneh kept telling her about the black bunny she had and Lilo (my aunt's cat we housed for a year) got it and bit it and made it bleed and mommy had to take the bunny away. I don't really remember this. But, as i mulled it over (bc i found it odd that she named Lilo), i do think that Lilo had gotten out and gotten a bunny one time. But Makenneh was soo darn young, i can't believe she remembers it. Strange how a child's mind works!

The weather is supposed to be awesome. I saw 77* for i think tomorrow. Of course, that may be a tad too warm...but hey, it beats cold, dark, dreary!

Saturday, I woke up to a beautiful sight. I must first say, that I didn't wake until 11am! Yep, that's right. The reason was my throat had been really hurting friday night. So much so, that i could hardly swallow. I had taken some pain meds to help with the pain, so then i couldn't take the sore throat med bc it has acetemetophine in it. Well, i woke up at 3am and it was killing me, so i took the sore throat med that is a nighttime med. It knocked me out! So, anyway, i woke up bc there were dogs barking (hte neighbors) and i heard Jeremy ask, "c'mon do you wanna go bye bye?" I called his name, but he didn't answer. So, i got up. They weren't inside. I went to the front door and looked out...I had to rub my eyes and shake my head...my lawn was mowed, the kids were outside playing, daddy was out with them. It was beautiful. I saw that he was taking stuff up to the dumpster, so i said not a word and let them go! I enjoyed the couple extra mins of peace. When he got back, he told me to go look behind the porch...there is a cement slab there ...it was full of stuff...2 garden hose reels with garden hoses, the kids outdoor toys, rotting leaves from the fall, etc. Well, he had cleaned it all off, organized the kids' toys and it was a perfect place to play with sidewalk chalk. So i came in and got out the sidewalk chalk for the kids.

Of course, i had been sick friday/sat with the sore throat bit....and didn't keep up on the housework. And wouldn't you know that we get a knock at the door sundy..it's my father in law and his gf. UGh! I don't mind fil being here when it's a mess so much, bc i know he could care less. But his gf is a bit hoity toity (at least, she tries to be...) and i just don't like her being here when it's a mess. So, i had to get up and clean up quick. About 10 mins later, i am at the sink and look out...his aunt and uncle pull up! WTH?! So, yeah, we had a bit of unexpected company. Oh well. That's life. It was really nice to his aunt and uncle. I am always trying to get him to go visit them, but he hates to leave the house. Ah well! He's a grown man...and his things that he does that irritate me caused a bit of a riff around here Saturday. Despite the wonderful scene i woke up to. But, we have talked through it and hopefully things will be ok. It is hard bc i grew up in a home where the kids and their needs came first. I had 2 parents who sacraficed everything for us. Neither of them went out. They were always home with us, they had no horrible habits (aside from mom's smoking), but neither drank or smoked dope or anytihng of that sort. They didn't get into partying. Jeremy grew up in a home with 2 alcoholics, they always had parties (thiers brothers and sisters over to play cards, etc), always drinking. They didn't alter their lives much for the kids. So, we come from two different situations. I feel like you have to make sacrafices when you have kids...you can't watch that sexually graphic movie or play the violently graphic video game if the kids are present. He feels that he should be able to...bc that's how it was for him growing up. So, we have to work on finding a happy medium (aka, getting him to see my point...lol). We did make some progress. Hopefully it stays that way.

We think the internet problem is due to a bad modem. Hopefully they can get it fixed. It is very frustrating trying to get online and having to keep unplugging the power from the modem and plugging it back in only to still not have internet! then, when it does finally work, im afraid to breath, figuring it may disrupt service...lol.

Well, im off here to finish my rounds online before losing connection again!LOL

Sunday, May 06, 2007

Hit and miss

My internet connection is hit and miss....so i have trouble getting on. I will try to get on as often as possible...im really missing my internet! But, im gonna keep this short and sweet, bc i could lose my connection at any moment. Grrrr! Hope all is well is everyone!

Thursday, May 03, 2007

Mental Exhaustion

Today was just mentally exhausting. I have felt emotional and blah. It doesn't help that AF is visiting. Just adds to my emotional roller coaster ride and the fatigue.

I set out to go to the cemetary. I had to wake seb up from his nap and stop at store to get a plant/flower. WEll, they didn't really have any decent flowers for a reasonable price and as i was there, in the midsts of all those ppl (the place was packed), i just began to really feel the fatigue. I still needed to pick up the stuff for dinner, make dinner and if i were to go to the cemetary, that's a good 15 mins or so away. I kept hearing my gma....I'm not there anyway, you are spending 8.00 on a plant that you really don't have the extra money for and it's all unneccessary. I debated over the plant the entire time, i picked up the things i needed for dinner, got to check out and just decided to wait on the plant. It wasn't anything special and i know i can get a nicer plant for a cheaper price. So, i checked out and came home. Jeremy helped me cook dinner and we watched The Pursuit of Happyness. What a sad movie. Of course, I cried through most of it. I told jeremy, i don't even like this movie. I was already feeling in the dumps and this movie is all about the dumps. Of course, it's a good movie to help you appreciate what you have and be thankful.

So, the movie was almost over when my sister called. She says, "I should keep Kenneh for the night." WHAT? Tonight? So, she came and got her. When i was helping getting Kenneh loaded into the car, Sebastian tripped and fell and skinned his poor knee..had blood running down it. I swear that I am not going to survive boyhood. He is over tired and crabby as ever. I'm just irritable, emotional and blah.

I did take him to the doctor today. He was very impressed with how clean the wound is and that there is no swelling, no redness, no sign of infection. He told me i did an excellent job. He told me to just keep up what im doing and of course keep an eye on it for infection, as without stitches to hold it together, it will take more time to heal. HE mentioned the sterile strips (butterfly) that you can get, but i said, yeah but would it stick? He said ya know, no, just keep doing what you are doing...you would have to shave his head and you know, it looks great so i think we will be fine. I felt so good about it.

Tomorrow I'm gonna run the roads with my sister. Yippe! I have to admit that i hate running with her. LOL. IT seems to be an all day ordeal and she is so slow and indecisive about everything! But, that's what sister's do...suck it up and go along for the ride. She mentioned needing to get groceries, which i do,too, so we will get that done (or not), too. Hopefully she doesn't wanna go too early, bc i feel like i just need a slow morning.

I forgot that my cousin's bridal shower is this saturday. I knew i had something to do this weekend (afterall, next weekend is the only weekend i have free, remember?)..but i didn't have it written on my big calendar. Mom reminded me of it tonight. I will have to jump over to her registery here in a minute. So, i guess i'm off here...
Here's to a better tomorrow!

May 3

Today is my grandma's birthday. She would have been 69. It's hard to believe that she has been gone for 10 yrs, on one hand. But on the other, I fear that I am forgetting more than I remember. I thought I would be able to write this post without getting upset, but I've proven myself wrong already. It feels like a lifetime ago since she was here.

And the sun is shining so brightly and it's such a beautiful day. If she were still here, we would be at her house right now. THe family would be packed in and we would all be celebrating. There would be flowers and gifts and food and kids running around and adults talking over each other, all about much of nothing...but instead, here i sit, in silence. I want to go to the cemetary and plant some flowers. I should do that. But, Sebastian is down for a nap and I really shouldn't drive my car much, beings that it just has the donut tire on there. And I can hear her telling me not to worry about it, that she isn't there. She is Home, celebrating with the finest of foods, the brightest of balloons, the most beautiful flowers.

She loved angels, burgundies and mauves, her Yorkie, Cody
She was always crocheting something
I remember helping her untangle her yarn as she worked on her projects
She always had Halls cough drops and we used to want them (and she would give them to us)
She would ask for a CLEAN glass of COLD water...as if we would bring her warm water in a dirty glass...lol
She loved Arby's Roast Beef Sandwiches
And Burned Koegel's Hot Dogs
She always sat at the table (most of my mom's family hangs out at the kitchen table rather than in living room)
You would always find a bag of crocheting material at her side
Her spot at the table was worn...
I remember helping her wash her hair when she was too sick to do it herself
and sitting on the toilet while she took baths
Poor gma never had any privacy
She never complained
She had faith that could move mountains
I miss her
The day she passed away, we could see the most beautiful sunset from her hospital window
I've never seen a more beautiful sunset in my life

I have to go now. I have to go to the cemetary.
It's been 10 yrs and some years her birthday is easier than others. This year, i guess it's hitting hard.

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Rainy Day, Boring Night

I am so bored, yet not quite tired enough to go to bed. Grrr! It rained almost all day! Hopefully it will help my flowers grow..hehehehe!

The day was rather boring. We colored, we watched tv/movies, I cleaned, they played, they fought, they played some more. They were both sleeping by 930! Woohoo to me. I told them they had to go to sleep before Daddy. I am done fighting them to sleep on my own. SO, he helped me get them settled down and ready for bed! It seems to make a big difference. Hopefully we can do this every night!

American Idol was on tonight. I never watch it, tonight was no different. but my mom calls me and says, you need to go online and vote. Im luck, huh? Well, she and my sister had watched it but the number they wrote down for voting wasn't working. So, i looked online and got the numbers. I ended up voting...I would love to see LaKisha win. She is from Flint..went to school here...and it would be nice to see her win! NOt to mention, she is a single mom, raising a daughter and she isn't the typical "star". Let the big girl win just once, thankyouverymuch! LOL. So, i am ashamed somewhat to admit this, but i couldn't stop my fingers from hitting send over and over and as I would get through, i marked a tally mark! I voted for LaKisha 225 times tonight! Yes, that's right. Prior to tonight, i have only voted for AI once! I kept telling myself, Ok after 50 votes, I will stop. After 100, after 150, and so on. Finally, i said, "forget it, i cannot stop this and I will continue to vote until time is up! And that's what i did. not completely non stop. I talked to my sister, i used the bathroom, i went in and "snuggled" with Jeremy...so it wasn't the full 2 hours sit with the phone and vote! But it was still obsessive, nonetheless! Don't tell anyone i did this! LOL. All I have to say is she best be safe tomorrow night, darn it! I know the past couple weeks she didn't do too well. I heard that the judges were even dissing her. But, sis said that tonight she did a great job and Simon even kissed her....ON THE LIPS! So, maybe that means she will be safe?! Not from cooties though, i dare say. HAhahahaha. Actually, i wouldn't mind a kiss from Simon myself! I find him sexy. His cockiness, his arrogance, that smile! aahhhh..what can i say?!

My mom said that Sparky (the dog...who is technically my brothers, but he has been a part of the family for about 12 yrs) gave her a scare and had her up most of the night last night. He was whining and laying there and had even stopped breathing for a moment. She was freaked out. She said she thought about calling me. I told her she should have. I am not a dog fan at all...but I LOVE that dog! I don't want him to die anytime soon! I don't know what I would do! Oddly enough, he acted just fine all day today. So, i don't know. He is getting old. Though, to see him jump way in the air to get a stick, you would never know it! I hope that if he gets like that again that she calls me. Because, quite honestly, day or night, i would like to be there should he take his final breath. My poor black and white dog!

well, i guess that's it for tonight. I have typed myself tired...lol. I think i can now go to bed!