The time has come

I can no longer take classes at the local campus but must go to the main campus for all classes. It stinks. The local extension campus is only offering 1 social work class for winter semester and I have already taken it. I have a tentative winter schedule down and it will be Tuesdays and Thursdays from 11am until 3:55pm, three different classes in that time, with five minutes between classes. Then, on Wednesday, I have the Agency Experience class from 2-2:55pm. This is the class where I have to do part of my internship. We have to complete 50 hours with a local agency in the course of the semester. The class actually only meets about 4 times throughout the semester, which is nice, seems how it is only an hour long and I have to drive all the way to main campus. It really isn't super far (about 20 mins) but it's just the horrid parking, mostly. I also plan to take a computer course (to fulfill the general ed requirements) as an open entry/open exit class, so that I can work at my own pace (fast) and finish ahead of schedule. My plan with that is to bust my butt and get it all done by midterms. That way, I don't have to worry about that class for the second half of the semester. Then, one of my classes for tue/thurs is only a first half semester class, so by midterms, I will be done with that class as well and will just have 3 classes to do for the rest of the semester. Hopefully it isn't too much. I want to get this done and over with already. I need to call and make an appointment with my advisor to see what he suggests and to get my transfer lined up so I know what I need to do. I am trying to wait it out until I get my student loan and have my own car, so I can actually make it to the appointment.

So, yes, I am STILL waiting on that loan. It is so frustrating, because the money is there, at the college, just waiting for them to cut the check and mail it to me. Meanwhile, i continue to struggle with getting rides to and from my classes and most days, I end up frustrated and in tears. My one teacher told me the other night, as I came to class totally down and exacberated, that I am just tired of trying to get rides, stressing over how to get to class and I am just tired. She told me that she admires me for sticking with it. I appreciate her thoughts and truthfully, I admire myself for sticking with it, because many times, I have had fleeting thoughts of throwing in the towel. It would be so much easier in the short run, to just give up. I wouldn't have to worry bout rides and getting papers printed and all that stuff. But, to suffer now is to gain greatly later. The payoff will be grand. I have to just keep focused on the big picture, on the long run. Thomas Edison didn't give up the first time he failed or struggled, he kept on. I must keep on, too. And I know that self-pity will get me know where, but I can't help but wonder, why me, just sometimes. I know the answer to some degree....i was never motivated before to make short term sacrafices for long term gain. I have paid the price for that lack of ambition. Now, I must push forward, harder than ever, to get through this and get my life back on track. Do I feel a twinge of envy when I see people whose lives seem so simple and everything seems to just fall into place for them? Maybe a small bit. But, I also realize that for every person who seems to have life easy, there are plenty who feel that my life is easy, because they have so much less and so much more struggle. I also don't feel that envy when the easy life seems to be a result of that person's hard work and dedication. Ok, then I just envy their drive, because I so lack it most of the time. But, I also admire it.

We are winding down the campaign efforts...well, no winding down, the time is winding down. We are meeting this saturday, for the last time as a group, to distribute flyers and yard signs. We just got in our new signs the other day....100 yard signs and 10 large signs. I had to work on an ad for local newspapers and well, that just isn't my thing. I am limited in knowledge in that area. Thankfully you can submit the picture, the points you want the ad to say and they can do the rest. Otherwise, we would be really pressed for time. One thing I have learned about the media is they aren't too generous with notices. They will email us on a Monday and want answers to 12 questions by wednesday. It's crazy. Sometimes, you get a day's notice. Do they think that we all have nothing to do but work full time, round the clock on campaigns? Thankfully, they are almost equally as generous with extending deadlines.

Makenneh lost her very first baby tooth the night before last. I was kinda bummed because I was in class when she lost it, they were all in bed when I got home and when I woke up the next morning, Jeremy called me in the computer room to show me her tooth. He had already done the tooth fairy visit and all. My mom wasn't home the night she lost her tooth either and didn't know til that next morning....when we told her, she asked if we had a gold dollar to put under her pillow. We didn't. So, she got one for us to put under there. So, Makenneh ended up with a regular dollar and a gold dollar. She deposited the bill into her savings account (with her other 4.09 she has been hoarding in her change purse). She was so excited that the tooth fairy came nad left her money, especially the gold coin. She thinks that is just the greatest thing. Her adult tooth was already coming in (that's what pushed the baby tooth out) so she doesn't really have a toothless grin. She has been in great spirits lately and has been far more loving and well behaved than she has been naughty. It is a blessing. I don't know what has accounted for her change in behavior, but it's welcomed nonetheless. IN talking with my sister-in-law, she was saying how her little sister (who is Makenneh's age and started Kindy this year as well), has become a mouthy brat. Keely used to be a sweet, well-behaved child and now she is almost impossible. We are thinking that going to school is what has triggered this. Makenneh was never a model child...she has always been a bit difficult, but the mouthiness just increases after she entered kindergarten. Maybe being around the other kids (some probably mouthy and naughty by nature) combined with the added freedoms of going to school triggered it, who knows. I'm holding my breath on the change though, because I am sure the bottom may fall out at any point. I am enjoying the time right now, when she is being sweet and just know that it could change at any point.

Both kids are excited about trick or treating. Makenneh got to go to a trunk or treat event at a local church last night. The church she attends with papa took the youth group to another church that sponsored the event. She had fun, despite getting there late. She didn't get a lot of candy, which is just as well, as far as I'm concerned. There will be enough tomorrow night to last a lifetime (not really, with daddy and papa around). It's supposed to be nice out tomorrow which is great news. It has been sooo cold lately, that I was dreading the thought of Halloween. I freeze for a few mins we stand at the bus stop, I couldn't imagine a couple hours out in that stuff. Hopefully the weather cooperates, as predicted, and we have a decent night. Let's also hope my mother in law has their costumes finished. She came over Tuesday night to have them try them on so she could do the finishing touches. I still have to go get Makenneh the rest of her outfit, but i am hoping that Jeremy gets paid today (their boss varies on paying them on thurs and fri, at his own whim). She needs pink top and pants to go under her tutu. She is going as a ballerina. I figured that rather than get her a leotard, which she may not ever really wear again, i would get a plain long sleeve shirt and some leggins. Then, I also have to do her accessories, which won't be a problem. She wants sparkly bracelets, so that's the must have. Then, im going to put her hair up in a bun and use a cute, frilly hair tie to hold it up. She should be cute. Then, there's Sebastian, in his Patrick costume. He is gonna be a doll. and fuzzy and warm!

See what happens when I don't blog for awhile, I run on and on worse than ever. But, Im going to wrap it up here so I can check the campaign email and then do my homework.

Take care and have a safe and fun Halloween!