That always happens

Something about getting to this page to type. My brain freezes. I forget all that may have been funny or clever. Gone. As I go through my days, something will happen and I think, "oh that would be so funny to blog about." but I get here and it's gone. Doesn't help that it takes me so long to get here anymore. I seem to have lost time. It's buried under a stack of textbooks and lecture notes, I am sure.

Sebastian starts school on Wednesday. I am not happy, oh no I am not. I am quite sad. He is my baby and he is going off, without me, with strangers, to grow his little wings and all that stuff. We had his orientation today. He didn't want to go. "Me stay here!" I finally convinced (or bribed, depending how you want to look at it: half full/half empty, ya know) him to come along. I got his backpack out and let him put it on. And when I had to tighten those straps as tight as they would go, I realized that perhaps he is just too little to go to school. The backpack is even too big. See, he should probably just stay home with mom another year.......wwwahhhhhawwwwwahhhhh. I did not let him see a tear, no. But, I came in here and nearly fell apart. Had to breath. Deep. And then we headed off, that big boy and I. He was a bit hesitant and shy at first. As always. But, he did well. He found his own name tag and cubby and decorated a car to hang on the wall in the classroom. He just impresses me with his little personality. He holds doors for his mom. Such a gentleman in the making. I took him to McDonald's...just the two of us. I let him play as I went through all the papers from school. I got to a poem that was included in the folder and thank God for the playscape because the tears fell once agian. I will include the poem at the end, so that if you don't want to read it, you can skip it. It's a little long. but so cute and if you have little ones, well, so worth the read. Anyway, after a little bit, I asked if he was ready to leave...he scurried down the playscape and grabbed his shoes. No whining, no protests. Just a big boy doing the right thing. You bet he was praised. We learned today that he will get on the bus with Makenneh in the mornings. That is a good thing. She was happy about it too. But he will be shuttled to his preschool from Makenneh's school.

Makenneh is doing great in school. I have her parent/teacher conference tomorrow night. I have already spoken with her teacher once last Friday, when I went to pick up her homework she had forgotten. So, I have an idea of how she is doing. It's amazing to see how much she has grown just since school started. Her attitude is still good. I have been able to find absolute pleasure in being her mom. Not something I could always say. I hope she has learned/is learning that positive behavior brings positive results and positive feelings. I continue to talk to her about that. How our behavior affects our moods, people around us, etc. It feels good to be good.

My mother in law is almost completely moved in next door. They have a couple more loads of stuff to bring tomorrow and that will be it. OF course, there is the whole, unpacking, sorting, putting away part. But, she is getting settled more every day. The landlord was being quite a jerk at first. Actually, jerk is quite a mild term for how he was behaving. Perhaps he needs a refresher in the whole good attitude produces good results. Think he forgot or never learned. He attends church with my parents. But, to meet him/deal with him outside of church, well, you may not ever guess that he was a trustee at the church. He has been so underhanded it's quite frustrating. He did nothing but complain to anyone who would listen about how "filthy" the apartment was left, forgetting the fact that the person living there was one of our relatives. He went so far as to call her and her oldest daughter stupid bitches. So, anyway, yes, he ranted about the condition of apartment. In honesty, it was pretty filthy. The carpets nearly black, walls dirty, etc. But, scrubbing carpets and painting walls is part of being a landlord. Deal with it. He wanted to charge her for a window that broke after she turned in her keys. He wanted to charge her for scrubbing the carpets, the fire extinguisher being used to put out a stove top fire, cleaning the stove that he threw out bc she lived there many months with only 2 burners working, just being real crazy. Many of the things he wants to charge her for just don't sit well. Then, my mom told him the fridge was no good. He figured it was, left it in there. Well, the back was all frosted up, it made a funny noise and well, once mother in law (Chris) moved in, guess what....wouldn't freeze ice cubes, fridge is warm, just not working. The carpets, while scrubbed, are still filthy. She had on new socks that are now garbage...black, sticky, gross. His response: if the place isn't clean enough, find a new one. Funny how the place was so filthy but now he thinks it should be considered acceptable. So, it was a rough start. Everything seemed to be going wrong. OF course, she was running on low sleep, emotional from being more or less homeless for a month, and then come "home" to find things just not as he promised they would be. But, she got through it. S he is just going to scrub the carpets a few more times, vaccuum heavily and hope for the best. HE did bring a new fridge today.

School is going for me. Biology is killing me though. Tonight, for lab, he just let us study. Casey and I spent the entire time allotted, going over everything. He had some tricks that had helped him remember certain bones and muscles and he shared them with me. We caught a couple mistakes with the lab book...it didn't have a page on the foot, so he isn't going to test us on the items not given to us in the book. That's too bad for everyone who left early. So many people feel it's unimportant to stay for lab...so they just leave. But, how can you pass a lab practical if you haven't been there for labs? Toward the end, only 3 of us remained. I wonder what our test scores will be in comparison with those who skipped out. I am glad I stayed because I have a better understanding of all of it. I am pretty sure I will pass it now. Before I wasn't so sure.

Well, here is that poem, then I am off to study some more. REmember it's long, so feel free to skip. But it is some good food for thought.

You ask, "what's in my backpack?"

you ask, "what's in my backpack?"
when i come home each day.
I wonder what you hope is there,
if it's empty, is that okay?

I tell you about my busy day,
How the teacher watches over me.
We sing, we laugh, we share, we learn
That's the way it's supposed to be.

You ask, "what's in my backpack?"
I say, "today it's empty"
I see the disappointment
as you look down at me.

School is much more than "things"
that you can see and touch
it's all of my life lessons,
and that means so very much

For if you really want to know
what i do each day,
it won't be on a paper;
you'll know by what i say

Please don't look so unhappy
when you open the zipper wide
what you are looking for today
is all on my inside

ask me about my hands and ears,
my nose and my eyes
ask me what we talked about,
and if i remember why.

EAch day we do so many things
so many books to read
sure is nice my teacher knows
exactly what we need

that backpack on my back today
carries back and forth my stuff
if you want to know what i learned
listening to me will be enough

my teacher wants to plant a seed
get my "love of learning" to sprout
she wants it to last a lifetime-
that's what school is all about.

it's in my head in my heart
that learning will take place
"childhood should be a journey...
don't look at it as a race."

-Donna Whyte, 2002
last two lines adapted, with permission, from SDE/Crystal Springs-Bob Johnson

Good night...