....it don't look like any fun. That's what Makenneh says. She has said it several different times. She said it again today. Just a few minutes ago. Part of me wants to laugh at her sentiment, but the other part of me feels sad that she thinks that way. She is very adamant about not growing up. She says she wants to stay "this big forever". I was surprised that she felt that way today, bc she was crying because her friend McKenzie said she didn't like her today. Makenneh was just heartbroken that McKenzie said that. And yet, she still thinks that it isn't any fun to grow up. Wow. I don't know what prompted McKenzie to say that today, but I'm sure it was far from the real truth. The girls play together at school and also after school. McKenzie lives a few doors down from us. Of course, I really think Makenneh gets along better with Johnny, McKenzie's brother. He is in Kindergarten. He is such a polite and well spoken little boy. When he first met me, he introduced himself and asked my name and is just so eloquent for a 5 yr old. He is the one who usually asks Makenneh to come over and play. They all play outside. Of course, it's getting too cold for all that. Today the wind is just downright bitter, yet they still wanted to play.
Makenneh has received her first Birthday party Invitation. Her classmate, Desiree, who also rides the bus and lives here in the park, is having a bday party on the 15th. Her mom told her she could invite 3 friends and she picked Makenneh as one of those. SO, when she was feeling sad about McKenzie, i reminded her that Desiree invited her to her bday party. It's so hard when their little hearts are broken, and we as parents know that it is just temporary. We know that tomorrow they will be friends again and all will be well. But, how can you convince them of this without making them feel that their heartbreak is insignificant...bc to them, it is anything but.
I feel a tad like Betty Crocker today. I made stuffed Manicotti for dinner. Admittedly, it's actually quite easy...but it's not as easy as say, Hamburger Helper. And hey, it sounds fancy, right? LOL. Jeremy got home and asked what I was making. I told him and at first, he didn't seem too enthralled. However, i went on to say, "how you could not like something that is nothing more than several different cheeses stuffed into a shell and topped with Spaghetti sauce is beyond me." And well, with the mention of cheese, his eyes lit up. LOL. My guys love their cheese. Jeremy adds cheese to just about everything. And Sebastian, he likes to eat cheese slices, shredded cheese, string cheese...cheese in any form. Cheese all by itself. It's a wonder i ever have to change a dirty diaper with all the cheese he eats.
Next week my project on English culture is due. I still have to type everything up and finalize everything we are going to talk about. I am trying to find some videos online that I can save to my flash drive and then take to school to show during our presentation. I also plan to put together a collage of pictures....of course, this is all under the condition that my damn printer works. I bought all the new ink cartridges, yet the thing still doesn't want to print. IT may be that the USB port it's plugged into isn't functioning properly, so i have to rule that out and then go from there. I want color photos for the collage, bc they just look better and are easier to see. Of course, I just had a great idea..i could do up little pamphlets on English culture and pass them out to the class at the start of our presentation. I plan to do the presentation in a "tour" type format. So, that would go along with the theme. Who knows, though. We are quickly running out of time and i have so much stuff to do with the end of the semester upon us. Only 3 weeks of class remaining.
Somewhere I need to find time to do some deep cleaning around here. The shower hasn't been scrubbed in forever and just all those little details that are easy to overlook and put off when you don't have time to tend to them. Then, everything is junk piled around here and i would love to unclutter and get ready for Christmas. I am thinking we are going to stay here at least until the end of the year, bc i want to put my tree up soon and get ready for the holidays. If i keep waiting on someone else to take care of their end first, well, i could be waiting til Christmas and beyond. So, i shall just call the shot and get things ready for the holidays around here. Not to mention, it would be far better to celebrate Christmas on our own, at our own home, by ourselves. I'm speaking of Christmas Eve and morning...we will be going to family functions throughout the month. But, being able to have our own tree and such would be nice.
Ok, kids are going crazy and I have to get ready to get to school...thankfully. makenneh is being whiney and Seb is into everything...ya know, the usual. LOL
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Monday, November 26, 2007
A better start to this week
Last week was hell. Some know of the personal issues that started my week, last week. Well, this week is off to a better start. For one thing, Jeremy got me a cell phone. It's an early Christmas gift. It came just in time for snowy roads. It's a prepaid phone with monthly plan...so i pay a certain amount each month, via "top up" cards which i can buy at almost any retailer. Then, i get 200 mins anytime, 1000 night/weekend mins. And i just pay each month, as i go, without a contract.
He also got me a flash drive for my homework and an mp3 player. He is so horrible about gifts, he has to give them as soon as he gets them....lol. Thankfully, im in charge of the kids' christmas...or they would have nothing under the tree..he would give it as he gets it.
I got another 100% on tonight's speech. The last few I have done, have been perfect grades. woohoo.
Tonight's post is doomed to be short...it's doing that slow thing where i type about 5 words before the cursor catches up. I can't stand it..it drives me crazy and i have no idea why it odes it....if i did, i would prevent it. grrrrr.
He also got me a flash drive for my homework and an mp3 player. He is so horrible about gifts, he has to give them as soon as he gets them....lol. Thankfully, im in charge of the kids' christmas...or they would have nothing under the tree..he would give it as he gets it.
I got another 100% on tonight's speech. The last few I have done, have been perfect grades. woohoo.
Tonight's post is doomed to be short...it's doing that slow thing where i type about 5 words before the cursor catches up. I can't stand it..it drives me crazy and i have no idea why it odes it....if i did, i would prevent it. grrrrr.
Saturday, November 24, 2007
Snow has arrived
It started Wednesday evening. Of course, we were on our way up to my gma's and they got quite a bit of it. So much so that dad was out early Turkey Day morning, shoveling.
Our Thanksgiving was nice. Lots of good food and family. What more can one ask for? We left Thursday night and arrived home around midnight. We had decided to go out shopping before the crack of dawn, so I got to sleep in til about 8. Mom woke up sick early Friday morning, so it was just sis and I going shopping. We headed out around 9. We just went to Meijer, Kmart and Walmart. I did manage to get some Christmas shopping done. I also picked 3 ornaments off the "giving tree" at our college. Each ornament had one gift item listed. These gifts are for the local community services Christmas program, which provides Christmas gifts for families in need. Seems how the gifts were rather small, I took 3. I know that we aren't in a great financial situation ourselves, but I firmly believe that every child should have something under the tree. And I can't help but do my small part. I bought a baby doll (and got Makenneh the same one), a Barbie (and again, got MAkenneh the same one) and Hi-Ho Cherry-O game. Those were the items listed on each of the ornaments I chose. One thing I look forward to when I start my career, is being able to do more to help families out during the holidays. It breaks my heart to think of the families out there who can't afford Christmas.
I plan to make some homemade body scrub to give as gifts this year. I came across a recipe to make it at home and I think it would be a cute, fun and inexpensive gift. My sister also printed off all kinds homemade gift ideas. We plan to get together a couple different days and make all kinds of things.
My car is getting a much needed front end alignment as I type. Jeremy got up and took it in to get that taken care of today. That will really help and hopefully the car won't chew through tires so much. I also got two of the 3 needed ink cartridges for my printer. Walmart was out of the yellow I need, bu i was able to get the magenta and blue and I already had the black. I hope that my printer will be up and running very soon! It'll be so nice to be able to type of my school work at home, instead of having to run all over to get it done. Save time and gas. Oh and I got a new pair of shoes. Nothing fancy, but they were needed. My old ones were trashed. In fact, that's right where they went, in the garbage.
Well, I need to clean the house and practice my speech for Monday. Enjoy the weekend.
Our Thanksgiving was nice. Lots of good food and family. What more can one ask for? We left Thursday night and arrived home around midnight. We had decided to go out shopping before the crack of dawn, so I got to sleep in til about 8. Mom woke up sick early Friday morning, so it was just sis and I going shopping. We headed out around 9. We just went to Meijer, Kmart and Walmart. I did manage to get some Christmas shopping done. I also picked 3 ornaments off the "giving tree" at our college. Each ornament had one gift item listed. These gifts are for the local community services Christmas program, which provides Christmas gifts for families in need. Seems how the gifts were rather small, I took 3. I know that we aren't in a great financial situation ourselves, but I firmly believe that every child should have something under the tree. And I can't help but do my small part. I bought a baby doll (and got Makenneh the same one), a Barbie (and again, got MAkenneh the same one) and Hi-Ho Cherry-O game. Those were the items listed on each of the ornaments I chose. One thing I look forward to when I start my career, is being able to do more to help families out during the holidays. It breaks my heart to think of the families out there who can't afford Christmas.
I plan to make some homemade body scrub to give as gifts this year. I came across a recipe to make it at home and I think it would be a cute, fun and inexpensive gift. My sister also printed off all kinds homemade gift ideas. We plan to get together a couple different days and make all kinds of things.
My car is getting a much needed front end alignment as I type. Jeremy got up and took it in to get that taken care of today. That will really help and hopefully the car won't chew through tires so much. I also got two of the 3 needed ink cartridges for my printer. Walmart was out of the yellow I need, bu i was able to get the magenta and blue and I already had the black. I hope that my printer will be up and running very soon! It'll be so nice to be able to type of my school work at home, instead of having to run all over to get it done. Save time and gas. Oh and I got a new pair of shoes. Nothing fancy, but they were needed. My old ones were trashed. In fact, that's right where they went, in the garbage.
Well, I need to clean the house and practice my speech for Monday. Enjoy the weekend.
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
*This Post has been removed by Owner
I have decided to remove this post, because, things always blow up in your face. If you care, try to help you are the "bad guy". It's ok to beat the shit out of your kids to the point they have to go to ER, but by God, don't be the horrible soul who tries to do good for the victim.
Monday, November 19, 2007
Clarification
Ok, after reading Julie's response to my last, i realized I may not have posted about the whole living situation. I am so scattered, these days, that i begin to post things, decide im too tired or whatever and stop or i feel like i had already posted it, so i leave it out. Anyway, here goes:
The place we are living in right now belongs to my uncle's girlfriend, TJ. She moved out and moved in with him and tried to sell it, to no avail. So, they offered us to move in here and just pay the lot rent (she continues to pay the trailer payment). Well, now, my uncle wants to break things off with her because it isn't working. His youngest kid won't hardly ever come over anymore because of her and the middle child has been staying at his mom's more and more even though he has been living with dad. All that's neither here nor there. The fact is, my uncle wants to have her move out. So, it would stand to reason that she would want her place back and that's perfectly fine with us. So, he said we could stay with him unti we can get our own place, bc he feels bad for having us move in here and 2 months later, need us to move out. The key issue is, he doesn't want to tell her to get out, he wants to just hope she does. That part isn't going to work with me. He told her that we would need to move in there because Jeremy's hours were cut at work (which is a big, fat lie). then, he was hoping she would just get frustrated, figure she is paying for this place here and it is empty, so just move back in here. Well, i think that's a bit far fetched. So, that's what my other post was about.
Right now, i would almost rather pack up all that we can fit in a UHaul truck and head out of state. Grrr. Families can be so damn dysfunctional and ours seems to rank high up there. I don't feel like getting into what all happened tonight involving another cousin and her dad. I am sick from it and just emotionally drained. I will post about it later, maybe. Thankfully this is a short week as far as work and school goes. And I am looking forward to heading up to Gma's house for Turkey day. It will be nice to be far away from all this crap for a little while.
The place we are living in right now belongs to my uncle's girlfriend, TJ. She moved out and moved in with him and tried to sell it, to no avail. So, they offered us to move in here and just pay the lot rent (she continues to pay the trailer payment). Well, now, my uncle wants to break things off with her because it isn't working. His youngest kid won't hardly ever come over anymore because of her and the middle child has been staying at his mom's more and more even though he has been living with dad. All that's neither here nor there. The fact is, my uncle wants to have her move out. So, it would stand to reason that she would want her place back and that's perfectly fine with us. So, he said we could stay with him unti we can get our own place, bc he feels bad for having us move in here and 2 months later, need us to move out. The key issue is, he doesn't want to tell her to get out, he wants to just hope she does. That part isn't going to work with me. He told her that we would need to move in there because Jeremy's hours were cut at work (which is a big, fat lie). then, he was hoping she would just get frustrated, figure she is paying for this place here and it is empty, so just move back in here. Well, i think that's a bit far fetched. So, that's what my other post was about.
Right now, i would almost rather pack up all that we can fit in a UHaul truck and head out of state. Grrr. Families can be so damn dysfunctional and ours seems to rank high up there. I don't feel like getting into what all happened tonight involving another cousin and her dad. I am sick from it and just emotionally drained. I will post about it later, maybe. Thankfully this is a short week as far as work and school goes. And I am looking forward to heading up to Gma's house for Turkey day. It will be nice to be far away from all this crap for a little while.
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Cheers
Our next assignment in Communications class is to write a ceremonial speech. This could be a toast, acceptance speech, eulogy, commencement speech, you get the idea. I first thought I would write a eulogy for my Aunt Dawn. I always regret that I didn't get up and say something at her funeral. Of course, i doubt i would have been able to get two words out before the sobbing, blubbery mess would hit. But, anyway, i thought it would be a bit of therapy to write one. So, I spent all day friday preparing this eulogy. I searched online for examples and pointers, i read quotes and poems for inspiration. I finally got it written (only about 8 hours later). I went to practice it and time it to be sure it was within the guidelines (1.5-2 mins bc we are running out of time in the class and we have to fit everyone in during one class period). I start out strong...and the more i read, the more the tears stung my eyes...before i reached the middle, i was a sobbing mess....to the point that i just yelled out, "i can't do this" and fell to my knees. I let myself cry it out and then it was back to the drawing board. I figured I had better go for something more cheerful. So, i opted to write a "maid of honor" toast for my sister's wedding. I really felt it was a good choice because (and you are going to see a trend here) i felt bad for not having prepared a sentimental speech for her actual wedding. So, here again, trying to make amends with myself and my guilty conscience. I got it written out friday night and did nothing with it today. So, tonight i decided to practice and time it. I worked out a few bugs, made some improvements and while i did get a bit choked up reading it...i can do it without having a complete meltdown. As I was doing this, i decided that for Christmas, I am going to type the speech out on stationary paper and present it to her for Christmas. I think i shall title it, "The Speech I Never Gave" or something of that nature.
I seem to be filled with such guilt anymore, over everything. I have always been that way, but it seems worse anymore. I do have a lot of regrets surrounding my sister's wedding, though. I was so emotionally drained and fighting depression so badly that I just wasn't into anything. The only reason I bothered to breath most days was because it came automatically. I wasn't there for her like i should have been, as a big sister and matron of honor. I hate that I get like that...bc you can't go back in time and change things. I wish i could keep myself on an even keel and be the person i know i am, inside.
On to cheerful thoughts, please. I am beginning to get a bit excited about the holidays. Thanksgiving is only a few days away. We are planning to go up to my grandma's. The only possible glitch is Jeremy's job. He doesn't know yet if he will have to work Friday. At first, he was figuring that even if it were a scheduled day, he would take it off...but we got to thinking and well, he can't really do that. If it is a scheduled day and he doesn't show up, he won't get paid for Thanksgiving day and that will make for a very short check. So, we are really hoping he doesn't have to work friday. The day before Thanksgiving, he will get his profit sharing check. I am anxious to get that. They are expecting a much larger check this year....so, that will make for a nice, less-stressful Christmas.
Moving right along...the move! I have decided that this can happen on my terms. He is the one who says he wants to move her out. that is all fine and good. But, if he is really serious about it, then he will have no problem telling her as much, before we move in with him. I do not want to move in there and have him sit around waiting for her to "get the cue" and leave on her own. We talked a little about this on Thursday or Friday. My one fear is that we will move in there and he won't do anything and we will all be living there..i mentioned that before. Well, to make matters stickier, he decided to tell her we were moving in because Jeremy's hours were cut at work because they are slow...so we can't afford rent. Well, she came back with, "well, then just have them pay the consumer's and water). So, he tells me this. His next idea is to tell her that we can't even afford that. WHAT?! I said, to him, "You need to think about that for a minute. She knows what those bills run. They are $200 and less. It would sound awful rediculous to say that we can't even afford that." I mean, really, how the hell can we even remotely care for our kids if we can't afford $200 a month?! He verified my concerns in that same conversation. He said he was figuring if he moved us in there, she would get frustrated, snap and move out. He used that word, "snap". That was his word. Red flags fly up. If he thinks that she might "snap" then why does he also think i should subject my kids to that? I told him that I can't do that. That it's not fair to my kids to put that in that possible environment. I then decided to suck it up and tell him that we would put our stuff in storage and just keep out what we will be taking with us to his place. Then, when he tells her it's over, we will move our stuff there and she can move hers here. I have to talk to him more about it, but we have to do it when nobody else is around. I am just going to lay it out, much like i have here. he has to tell her it's over before we move anything to his place. And something else about the whole thing that bothers J and I is that he lied to her about jeremy's job situation. So, it seems he expects us to carry out this lie to cover his ass. Well, lying isn't exactly in my nature. I suck at it the few times i've attempted. It goes against every grain of my being. And the awkwardness that the lies can create were shown yesterday. We took our kids over there to stay the night and it was just stressful. On the way there, jeremy nearly turned around once he realized that we would all be in the same house and oh what if she asks me about my job or something? what do i say. can we just go home? Forget this, i don't want to go over there. I told him that most likely, if she were to say/ask anything, she would direct it to me, but if she did direct it to him, to just say something simple and short like work is slow...which it kinda is at this very moment. But, as i got to thinking about all of this, i realized that if we allow him to keep things going as he is, we will be stuck taking the brunt of the blame for this whole mess. I mean, we have to look like the bloody fools who can't even slightly support ourselves and then we will be viewed and the cause of their break up, if he just waits til she gets fed up with having an extra family living there. Why should I have to take the fall for him? he needs to grow some cajones and tell her it isn't going to work. After i thought about the big picture, that's when i decided, he is going to do things right or not at all. I have no problem helping him out and if it means we have to stay with him until we can get a new place, just so she can move back in here, fine. But, i am not going to lower myself to lying and deceiving, on anyone's behalf, just to make his life easier. In moving, we are giving up a lot. We are giving up our privacy, comfort and freedom, we are uprooting our kids, we are changing school districts which means i will have to drive her daily to and fro the bus stop and also, i will have to drive jeremy to a meeting place to catch his ride to work and then pick him up from said meeting place after work because we can't expect his coworker to add on yet another several miles to the already, 'out-of-his-way' journey he takes to help us out. That's just absurd. I shudder at the thought of having to have my butt out in the cold at 545am to get him to work. Bleh. I hate mornings and i hate cold mornings even more. And i really really hate having to get up and get out of the house during those kinda mornings. Did i mention that somewhere in there, i have to have time for classes? The other thing I thought about is that when we move, I will have to report that to my caseworker and it is going to affect my food benefits. It's not that I'm saying it shouldn't, but if those get cut, how much would we really be saving if we have to pay for all of our groceries? But, i see no way around it, as i will have to report living there and even though we would be paying him something to live there, it wouldn't be what we are paying now and also, he has to report any money received to his worker and it would affect him if we claim we are paying say, $200/month for rent. So, as you can see, we are giving up a lot to make this happen. That's not to say there is nothing to be gained, but i do wonder if they even nearly balance each other out. I mean, we will get to save money. I would be able to have a bit of pocket change, for one. We could probably swing a much needed cell phone, keep up on car repairs (wouldn't go so far as to say we could get a better car though). I would also have childcare sometimes, without having to haul them a sitter. Uncle is off work during winter, bc of the type of job he has. I just have to pray that everything works out. We did live with them when Makenneh was about a year old. It was for a few months. It wasn't too bad, but a lot has changed on both sides, since then. we now have 2 kids, i am in school, we are accustomed to living on our own, etc.
Anyway, just have to roll with the punches, i guess. I'm so glad i have this blog...gives me a place to vent and talk/type through my frustrations. Then, i can go to bed a bit lighter.
Monday starts sign up for winter classes. I can't wait. We can start registering at 12:01am on the 19th. That's if we register online. Otherwise, have to wait for normal business hours. I would like to avoid the hassle of waiting in line at the college but I also think i should talk with my advisor before registering so that i am taking the classes i need. So, i will probably just deal with the mad rush of students and go in to the office. I can go to the local campus and do it there so it shouldn't be nearly as bad as the main campus. Plus, i can talk with another advisor because, quite frankly, i don't think the one i had knows much what she is talking about. She was very nice, but just didn't seem as knowledgeable as the last person i had dealt with. I did start to look over the course offerings for next semester and I really think i will stuck at the main campus more than i would like to. One class on main campus is too much for me. I hate that parking fiasco. It sucks. But, the local campus doesn't seem to offer too many classes in the areas i need. I can take a general psychology class, a philosophy class and i think there was one other that interested me that was in the time frames i need. So, we will see. I might just go check it out again. The more i can have ready, the quicker the process will go, im sure.
Well, time to venture on to finish my routine....
I seem to be filled with such guilt anymore, over everything. I have always been that way, but it seems worse anymore. I do have a lot of regrets surrounding my sister's wedding, though. I was so emotionally drained and fighting depression so badly that I just wasn't into anything. The only reason I bothered to breath most days was because it came automatically. I wasn't there for her like i should have been, as a big sister and matron of honor. I hate that I get like that...bc you can't go back in time and change things. I wish i could keep myself on an even keel and be the person i know i am, inside.
On to cheerful thoughts, please. I am beginning to get a bit excited about the holidays. Thanksgiving is only a few days away. We are planning to go up to my grandma's. The only possible glitch is Jeremy's job. He doesn't know yet if he will have to work Friday. At first, he was figuring that even if it were a scheduled day, he would take it off...but we got to thinking and well, he can't really do that. If it is a scheduled day and he doesn't show up, he won't get paid for Thanksgiving day and that will make for a very short check. So, we are really hoping he doesn't have to work friday. The day before Thanksgiving, he will get his profit sharing check. I am anxious to get that. They are expecting a much larger check this year....so, that will make for a nice, less-stressful Christmas.
Moving right along...the move! I have decided that this can happen on my terms. He is the one who says he wants to move her out. that is all fine and good. But, if he is really serious about it, then he will have no problem telling her as much, before we move in with him. I do not want to move in there and have him sit around waiting for her to "get the cue" and leave on her own. We talked a little about this on Thursday or Friday. My one fear is that we will move in there and he won't do anything and we will all be living there..i mentioned that before. Well, to make matters stickier, he decided to tell her we were moving in because Jeremy's hours were cut at work because they are slow...so we can't afford rent. Well, she came back with, "well, then just have them pay the consumer's and water). So, he tells me this. His next idea is to tell her that we can't even afford that. WHAT?! I said, to him, "You need to think about that for a minute. She knows what those bills run. They are $200 and less. It would sound awful rediculous to say that we can't even afford that." I mean, really, how the hell can we even remotely care for our kids if we can't afford $200 a month?! He verified my concerns in that same conversation. He said he was figuring if he moved us in there, she would get frustrated, snap and move out. He used that word, "snap". That was his word. Red flags fly up. If he thinks that she might "snap" then why does he also think i should subject my kids to that? I told him that I can't do that. That it's not fair to my kids to put that in that possible environment. I then decided to suck it up and tell him that we would put our stuff in storage and just keep out what we will be taking with us to his place. Then, when he tells her it's over, we will move our stuff there and she can move hers here. I have to talk to him more about it, but we have to do it when nobody else is around. I am just going to lay it out, much like i have here. he has to tell her it's over before we move anything to his place. And something else about the whole thing that bothers J and I is that he lied to her about jeremy's job situation. So, it seems he expects us to carry out this lie to cover his ass. Well, lying isn't exactly in my nature. I suck at it the few times i've attempted. It goes against every grain of my being. And the awkwardness that the lies can create were shown yesterday. We took our kids over there to stay the night and it was just stressful. On the way there, jeremy nearly turned around once he realized that we would all be in the same house and oh what if she asks me about my job or something? what do i say. can we just go home? Forget this, i don't want to go over there. I told him that most likely, if she were to say/ask anything, she would direct it to me, but if she did direct it to him, to just say something simple and short like work is slow...which it kinda is at this very moment. But, as i got to thinking about all of this, i realized that if we allow him to keep things going as he is, we will be stuck taking the brunt of the blame for this whole mess. I mean, we have to look like the bloody fools who can't even slightly support ourselves and then we will be viewed and the cause of their break up, if he just waits til she gets fed up with having an extra family living there. Why should I have to take the fall for him? he needs to grow some cajones and tell her it isn't going to work. After i thought about the big picture, that's when i decided, he is going to do things right or not at all. I have no problem helping him out and if it means we have to stay with him until we can get a new place, just so she can move back in here, fine. But, i am not going to lower myself to lying and deceiving, on anyone's behalf, just to make his life easier. In moving, we are giving up a lot. We are giving up our privacy, comfort and freedom, we are uprooting our kids, we are changing school districts which means i will have to drive her daily to and fro the bus stop and also, i will have to drive jeremy to a meeting place to catch his ride to work and then pick him up from said meeting place after work because we can't expect his coworker to add on yet another several miles to the already, 'out-of-his-way' journey he takes to help us out. That's just absurd. I shudder at the thought of having to have my butt out in the cold at 545am to get him to work. Bleh. I hate mornings and i hate cold mornings even more. And i really really hate having to get up and get out of the house during those kinda mornings. Did i mention that somewhere in there, i have to have time for classes? The other thing I thought about is that when we move, I will have to report that to my caseworker and it is going to affect my food benefits. It's not that I'm saying it shouldn't, but if those get cut, how much would we really be saving if we have to pay for all of our groceries? But, i see no way around it, as i will have to report living there and even though we would be paying him something to live there, it wouldn't be what we are paying now and also, he has to report any money received to his worker and it would affect him if we claim we are paying say, $200/month for rent. So, as you can see, we are giving up a lot to make this happen. That's not to say there is nothing to be gained, but i do wonder if they even nearly balance each other out. I mean, we will get to save money. I would be able to have a bit of pocket change, for one. We could probably swing a much needed cell phone, keep up on car repairs (wouldn't go so far as to say we could get a better car though). I would also have childcare sometimes, without having to haul them a sitter. Uncle is off work during winter, bc of the type of job he has. I just have to pray that everything works out. We did live with them when Makenneh was about a year old. It was for a few months. It wasn't too bad, but a lot has changed on both sides, since then. we now have 2 kids, i am in school, we are accustomed to living on our own, etc.
Anyway, just have to roll with the punches, i guess. I'm so glad i have this blog...gives me a place to vent and talk/type through my frustrations. Then, i can go to bed a bit lighter.
Monday starts sign up for winter classes. I can't wait. We can start registering at 12:01am on the 19th. That's if we register online. Otherwise, have to wait for normal business hours. I would like to avoid the hassle of waiting in line at the college but I also think i should talk with my advisor before registering so that i am taking the classes i need. So, i will probably just deal with the mad rush of students and go in to the office. I can go to the local campus and do it there so it shouldn't be nearly as bad as the main campus. Plus, i can talk with another advisor because, quite frankly, i don't think the one i had knows much what she is talking about. She was very nice, but just didn't seem as knowledgeable as the last person i had dealt with. I did start to look over the course offerings for next semester and I really think i will stuck at the main campus more than i would like to. One class on main campus is too much for me. I hate that parking fiasco. It sucks. But, the local campus doesn't seem to offer too many classes in the areas i need. I can take a general psychology class, a philosophy class and i think there was one other that interested me that was in the time frames i need. So, we will see. I might just go check it out again. The more i can have ready, the quicker the process will go, im sure.
Well, time to venture on to finish my routine....
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
A+
That's what I got on my informative speech, tonight. I am so proud. I am not proud of the 3.0 I received in my multicultural communications class. It isn't a permanent grade..it's just the mid-term, but i am not happy. So far, (did i post this already, im feeling a sense of deja vu) I have a 4. in Math and English...no grade posted yet for my communications class (aka public speaking). I should have a 3.5 or higher. woohoo.
With the informative speech out of the way, our next speech up is a celbratory speech...Yeah, i left out the E and im too lazy to go fix it. Anyway, it can be a eulogy, acceptance speech, speech to honor someone, dedication, etc....Not sure what I am going to do yet, but dang, he told us about this at the very end of class and it's due monday. At least it should be a fairly easy one, as no research is needed and it only has to be 1.5-2mins in length. He is having to shave speeches down because we are running out of time.
Both kids are sick with colds. They seem fine during the day except for occasional coughs. ANd so far tonight, they are both quiet. I've mostly been letting nature run it's course. I only give medicine if the coughing gets out of hand.
Last night, I took my sister out to Olive Garden for her bday. No, i didn't have the money to do it, but she has been so down in the dumps lately and after reading her myspace bulletin about going out alone friday night...i had to do something. After reading her bulletin, i sobbed. I felt like such a loser. I should've called her and invited her out or something...but her bday wasn't until Sunday and I knew she had a bachellorette party this weekend for a friend. Oh well, we had a good time last night. She has been sooo gloomy lately. They have her husband's elderly aunt living with them. Well, Aunt Helen is no longer able to do anything for herself and she can't be left alone. All the siblings promised to help and blah blah..but guess who's left holding the bags? It's taking it's toll. Carrie has always been a busy body, going places, doing things, very social, etc. now, she is confined to home and can't leave most of the time. It is rather sad. She did finally put her foot down and told the one brother that she and ralph are going up north for thanksgiving and they will need to figure out who is sitting/caring for Aunt Helen for those days. They are newlyweds and can't even do anything together. For almost any family function, one has to stay home to be with her and that means Carrie does a lot of things by herself. She has been spending a lot of time crying and just looks/acts sad and miserable. I'm honestly worried about her. She used to be so full of life and energy and just had a fire about her. it seems to have all died out.
Jeremy gets his bonus (profit sharing) check the day before Thanksgiving. I can't wait. That covers Christmas and this year, it should be a hefty sum. So, hopefully we can put some money in savings and get straightened out. I hope. I pray. Something has to give. I am working so hard to try to make a better life for us, but heck, we can't even really afford the gas money for me to get back and forth to school. Not to mention the constant nickeling and diming from the car. Must push forward. Remember, I plan to look back on all of this some day and laugh.
I just had to write a paper in English on my philosophy of life. Hah. He wanted it to be a page and a half. how can you condense such a deep topic into a page and a half? So many thoughts go into my philosophy on life. So much is important to me and life is so complex. But, i managed to shave it down to a measely page and a half. And I finally decided what my research paper for this class would be on...postpartum depression. That was the topic of my informative speech and i figured it would work well for the research paper, bc he wanted us to choose something that would relate to our career choices. That relates, I have already done some research(need to be a bit more extensive for this paper, though) and i have plenty of experience on the topic. Whew, that's out of the way, now.
School sure is keeping me busy. The next item up is my World Religion Report. We were supposed to do them last thursday, but ran out of time. So, we are doing them this thursday. I am done with mine, obviously, but was thinking that with the extra week, I would do some sort of visual aid. Let's see if i have time. i want to, bc i really want to get that stupid 3.0 up to at least a 3.5. I have never been so darn competitive about something in my life. geesh. Tomorrow, I meet with my partner for our Culture Project. I have this tiny little feeling that I will be stuck doing most of the work. For one, this girl has poor grammar. I will certainly not put my name on a paper that includes all kinds of punctuation errors, spelling mistakes and just all out poor grammar usage. Blah. i have read a few of her papers, that she has turned in, mind you...and wow, they are scary. I am quite sure that the average 8th grader could produce better work. So, yeah, I will surely be left to carry most of that load. But, thanks to Helen, the work load won't be nearly as bad as it could have been. You are sooo appreciated!
Well, it's time to wrap this up..i need sleep some time!
With the informative speech out of the way, our next speech up is a celbratory speech...Yeah, i left out the E and im too lazy to go fix it. Anyway, it can be a eulogy, acceptance speech, speech to honor someone, dedication, etc....Not sure what I am going to do yet, but dang, he told us about this at the very end of class and it's due monday. At least it should be a fairly easy one, as no research is needed and it only has to be 1.5-2mins in length. He is having to shave speeches down because we are running out of time.
Both kids are sick with colds. They seem fine during the day except for occasional coughs. ANd so far tonight, they are both quiet. I've mostly been letting nature run it's course. I only give medicine if the coughing gets out of hand.
Last night, I took my sister out to Olive Garden for her bday. No, i didn't have the money to do it, but she has been so down in the dumps lately and after reading her myspace bulletin about going out alone friday night...i had to do something. After reading her bulletin, i sobbed. I felt like such a loser. I should've called her and invited her out or something...but her bday wasn't until Sunday and I knew she had a bachellorette party this weekend for a friend. Oh well, we had a good time last night. She has been sooo gloomy lately. They have her husband's elderly aunt living with them. Well, Aunt Helen is no longer able to do anything for herself and she can't be left alone. All the siblings promised to help and blah blah..but guess who's left holding the bags? It's taking it's toll. Carrie has always been a busy body, going places, doing things, very social, etc. now, she is confined to home and can't leave most of the time. It is rather sad. She did finally put her foot down and told the one brother that she and ralph are going up north for thanksgiving and they will need to figure out who is sitting/caring for Aunt Helen for those days. They are newlyweds and can't even do anything together. For almost any family function, one has to stay home to be with her and that means Carrie does a lot of things by herself. She has been spending a lot of time crying and just looks/acts sad and miserable. I'm honestly worried about her. She used to be so full of life and energy and just had a fire about her. it seems to have all died out.
Jeremy gets his bonus (profit sharing) check the day before Thanksgiving. I can't wait. That covers Christmas and this year, it should be a hefty sum. So, hopefully we can put some money in savings and get straightened out. I hope. I pray. Something has to give. I am working so hard to try to make a better life for us, but heck, we can't even really afford the gas money for me to get back and forth to school. Not to mention the constant nickeling and diming from the car. Must push forward. Remember, I plan to look back on all of this some day and laugh.
I just had to write a paper in English on my philosophy of life. Hah. He wanted it to be a page and a half. how can you condense such a deep topic into a page and a half? So many thoughts go into my philosophy on life. So much is important to me and life is so complex. But, i managed to shave it down to a measely page and a half. And I finally decided what my research paper for this class would be on...postpartum depression. That was the topic of my informative speech and i figured it would work well for the research paper, bc he wanted us to choose something that would relate to our career choices. That relates, I have already done some research(need to be a bit more extensive for this paper, though) and i have plenty of experience on the topic. Whew, that's out of the way, now.
School sure is keeping me busy. The next item up is my World Religion Report. We were supposed to do them last thursday, but ran out of time. So, we are doing them this thursday. I am done with mine, obviously, but was thinking that with the extra week, I would do some sort of visual aid. Let's see if i have time. i want to, bc i really want to get that stupid 3.0 up to at least a 3.5. I have never been so darn competitive about something in my life. geesh. Tomorrow, I meet with my partner for our Culture Project. I have this tiny little feeling that I will be stuck doing most of the work. For one, this girl has poor grammar. I will certainly not put my name on a paper that includes all kinds of punctuation errors, spelling mistakes and just all out poor grammar usage. Blah. i have read a few of her papers, that she has turned in, mind you...and wow, they are scary. I am quite sure that the average 8th grader could produce better work. So, yeah, I will surely be left to carry most of that load. But, thanks to Helen, the work load won't be nearly as bad as it could have been. You are sooo appreciated!
Well, it's time to wrap this up..i need sleep some time!
Sunday, November 04, 2007
Vicks Vaporub, transportation and other tidbits, im sure
First things, first. After reading my blog about Makenneh coughing violently all night, my Aunt Bev emailed me something she had received in an email. To be honest, when i saw the subject "vicks vaporub", i really thought "Oh, no! It wasn't such a good idea that i used it on her....Aunt Bev is emailing to warn me of some danger...." But, instead, it was email (yeah, i already said that) about a different use for that stinky stuff. When you have kids (or adults) who are hacking the night away...rub some vicks on their feet before bedtime, put socks on them and voila! No coughing, peaceful sleep. it sounded far too good to be true, but hey, what would it hurt? So that very night, before bed, i slather her feet in the stinky goo and put socks on her. She goes to sleep without so much as a cough. Still skeptical, thinking maybe it was a fluke. But, who wants their baby hacking their brains out all night? So, i did it the second night...same thing. PEaceful, cough-free sleep. Well, earlier tonight i had given her some medicine bc she was stuffy. I forgot to do the vaporub before she fell asleep. didn't take me long to remember. She was hacking horribly. So, i just put the stinky goo on her feet while she slept and covered her feet in socks. IT has been about 20 mins and the coughing has seemed to cease. Woohoo! THank you, Aunt Bev for sharing this info and I am going to pass it along to the rest of the world. It is a miracle cure for that nasty nighttime cough. Oops, she did just cough...but the bouts are getting further apart...so it seems most beneficial to remember this before sleep.
2nd and probably last thing bc my cursor is doing that "moving far slower than i type and driving me batty" thing. Jeremy has to have the car tomorrow to have a meeting with his boss. So, i am without car and have class at 1pm. Very stressful. I was unsuccessful at finding a ride to scchool thus far (I am leaving typos bc damn it takes too long for this cursor to catch up to my typing). IF i haven't figured something out in reasonable time before class, i will call my instructor and beg him to have mercy on my "everything is going to hell in a handbasket" soul. Please wish me luck, say a prayer, something.
Ok, 3rd thing...bc what the heck....My sister called me this am and asked if i wanted to go to church w her. Well, that's a loaded question. I Couldn't say no, bc well, God would hear that. I didn't exactly want to say yes either. NOt because i am opposed to going to church, but bc my stranger anxiety kicks in and isn't it just so much easier to stay home, where i am comfortable? SHould i really go mingle with ppl i dont know? And face it, when we need to be in church most, is when we feel the least like going. So, i agreed. Makenneh went with us and she went down ot the Junior Church room while we stayed up for the service. She enjoyed herself. I felt so so about it. One thing about being a guest at a church, is I always feel as though the preacher/minister/pastor assumes that bc I am not a memeber, i mustn't be saved. It is a very wrong assumption. I accepted Christ as my Savior many many moons ago. And while i can be quite the heathen at times, I Honestly did grow up in church. I KNOw God and I believe in the Word of God. Don't get me wrong, the people were very kind and welcoming. The sermon just kinda felt very "pushy" to me. Perhaps i am a somewhat lost soul, or maybe it's part of my great grandfather (my paternal gma's father) coming out in me. LOL. In doing my research for my presentation for last thurs, i learned that he believed in God but not in church. And, i guess, that's kinda how i feel. I Understand the whole concept of church and why it is important and the role it plays in your religious life. However, more often than not, it tends to make me feel more crappy about myself after attending...and i just don't know that that is productive. I know that I fall short of the Glory of God...but attending church makes me feel like it's almost unobtainable....i can't think of the words. Then, there is the whole issue of judgement. I feel like when a bunch of ppl get together to worship on Sunday (or wahtever their day is), it is a breeding grounds to pass judgement on those who either don't believe or believe differently. I dislike that aspect. I believe that God loves everyone and that HE prefers we leave teh judging to him. Anyway, i could probably go on more about this...but maybe i just have to admit to being a heathen and not finding church as pleasurable now that I am older and not as naive to the world around me. I am not holier than thou..i will never be,, nor do i want to be. I also don't want to be around others who emanate this sort of attitude. For me and my house, we will worship the Lord...but we will do it from our home, most likely. I may start going more often for teh kids' sake bc i do think it is important for kids to learn about God in a church setting. I do know taht I am not nearly knowledgable enough to teach them all that they need to know about God and Jesus and it's actually quite confusing to try...We will see. I MAy also try out a few diff churches until i find out that better fits my needs.
Anyway, that's my rants for this evening.
And lastly, but definitely not least....Today marked the 3rd anniversary of my Aunt Dawn's death. I Can't believe it's been 3 years. Although, on the other hand, it feels like a lifetime since I Was able to call her up and talk about everything and anything, even at 2am. A lifetime since I was able to run the roads with her, play board games all night, have dinner with her, anything. And I did very well today...until now. THe homework is set aside, kids are sleeping, house is quiet and i am left alone with my thoughts. So many times, i get frustrated over things ...like needing a ride to school for instance...and i think..if she were here, it wouldn't be a problem...she would take me or let me use her vehicle. Or when the kids have me fit to be tied...if she were here, i could call her up just to talk. When im having a bad day and nothing is going right..i used to be able to call her up and she would lend an ear..or stop by and she would lend a shoulder...a hug...She had a very soothing way about her. She always listened, was always there. And now she's not.
2nd and probably last thing bc my cursor is doing that "moving far slower than i type and driving me batty" thing. Jeremy has to have the car tomorrow to have a meeting with his boss. So, i am without car and have class at 1pm. Very stressful. I was unsuccessful at finding a ride to scchool thus far (I am leaving typos bc damn it takes too long for this cursor to catch up to my typing). IF i haven't figured something out in reasonable time before class, i will call my instructor and beg him to have mercy on my "everything is going to hell in a handbasket" soul. Please wish me luck, say a prayer, something.
Ok, 3rd thing...bc what the heck....My sister called me this am and asked if i wanted to go to church w her. Well, that's a loaded question. I Couldn't say no, bc well, God would hear that. I didn't exactly want to say yes either. NOt because i am opposed to going to church, but bc my stranger anxiety kicks in and isn't it just so much easier to stay home, where i am comfortable? SHould i really go mingle with ppl i dont know? And face it, when we need to be in church most, is when we feel the least like going. So, i agreed. Makenneh went with us and she went down ot the Junior Church room while we stayed up for the service. She enjoyed herself. I felt so so about it. One thing about being a guest at a church, is I always feel as though the preacher/minister/pastor assumes that bc I am not a memeber, i mustn't be saved. It is a very wrong assumption. I accepted Christ as my Savior many many moons ago. And while i can be quite the heathen at times, I Honestly did grow up in church. I KNOw God and I believe in the Word of God. Don't get me wrong, the people were very kind and welcoming. The sermon just kinda felt very "pushy" to me. Perhaps i am a somewhat lost soul, or maybe it's part of my great grandfather (my paternal gma's father) coming out in me. LOL. In doing my research for my presentation for last thurs, i learned that he believed in God but not in church. And, i guess, that's kinda how i feel. I Understand the whole concept of church and why it is important and the role it plays in your religious life. However, more often than not, it tends to make me feel more crappy about myself after attending...and i just don't know that that is productive. I know that I fall short of the Glory of God...but attending church makes me feel like it's almost unobtainable....i can't think of the words. Then, there is the whole issue of judgement. I feel like when a bunch of ppl get together to worship on Sunday (or wahtever their day is), it is a breeding grounds to pass judgement on those who either don't believe or believe differently. I dislike that aspect. I believe that God loves everyone and that HE prefers we leave teh judging to him. Anyway, i could probably go on more about this...but maybe i just have to admit to being a heathen and not finding church as pleasurable now that I am older and not as naive to the world around me. I am not holier than thou..i will never be,, nor do i want to be. I also don't want to be around others who emanate this sort of attitude. For me and my house, we will worship the Lord...but we will do it from our home, most likely. I may start going more often for teh kids' sake bc i do think it is important for kids to learn about God in a church setting. I do know taht I am not nearly knowledgable enough to teach them all that they need to know about God and Jesus and it's actually quite confusing to try...We will see. I MAy also try out a few diff churches until i find out that better fits my needs.
Anyway, that's my rants for this evening.
And lastly, but definitely not least....Today marked the 3rd anniversary of my Aunt Dawn's death. I Can't believe it's been 3 years. Although, on the other hand, it feels like a lifetime since I Was able to call her up and talk about everything and anything, even at 2am. A lifetime since I was able to run the roads with her, play board games all night, have dinner with her, anything. And I did very well today...until now. THe homework is set aside, kids are sleeping, house is quiet and i am left alone with my thoughts. So many times, i get frustrated over things ...like needing a ride to school for instance...and i think..if she were here, it wouldn't be a problem...she would take me or let me use her vehicle. Or when the kids have me fit to be tied...if she were here, i could call her up just to talk. When im having a bad day and nothing is going right..i used to be able to call her up and she would lend an ear..or stop by and she would lend a shoulder...a hug...She had a very soothing way about her. She always listened, was always there. And now she's not.
Family Chain
| We little knew that morning, It broke our hearts to lose you, | You left us beautiful memories, Our family chain is broken, |
28 years
years ago..my parents were married. Today was their anniversary. Mom had to work this morning, then they went to my brother's to watch the Michigan/Michigan State football game. And I am happy to say, Michigan won! GO BLUE! I stopped over before the game to take them their gift. I got them fillet mignon. Yes, very expensive, but when you are buying it for 2 ppl, versus a family...it's not too bad. and it was a gift...With that, I got them a small little cake from the bakery, King Hawaiian rolls (which mom loves) and red potatoes. In the card, I wrote that they are to enjoy the meal in its entirety...from cooking it to cleaning up. i worded it nicer than that..but the point being, to take the time to enjoy each other, work together, savor the experience...lol. They loved the gift....especially seems how fillet mignon is not something they would ever splurge on for themselves. They plan to have that for dinner tomorrow. Hopefully it is a relaxing, peaceful, "tender" experience.
I gave my presentation on my multicultural house thursday. It was so fun to learn all the facts about past generations in my family. I loved it. Hopefully we will know our grades on it, this thursday. I am sure i did well. Our teacher may not be back to class though. He informed us thursday that he is going in on monday for tests on his heart. Depending on what they find out, he may or may not be back. If it's just minor blockage (Or nothing at all wrong), he will return. however, if it is major blockage/requires surgery, they will be bringing in a new instructor. I hope it doesn't come to that. Hopefully it's something simple and he is able to return soon.
*I am currently trying to upload a picture or two to share. I know I have promised them several times...but it really takes forever and two days to upload them on here. I get frustrated and give up, usually. But the picture i am trying this time is makenneh getting on the bus, her first day. Depending on how fast it loads, i may even try another one. In the meantime, I will have to think of more things to ramble about. Because, if i sit and wait for it to upload, i will go crazy.
I have to do an informative speech for my public speaking class next week. I couldn't think of a topic for the longest times. I mean, we get to choose anything..and well, that leaves a lot of options. Finally, tonight, while sitting here thinking, i decided to do it on postpartum depression. I mean, i know all about that stuff, first hand, unfortunately. The outline is due monday. I have trouble starting with an outline. I don't understand how you can outline from thin air. I must write the paper first, then go back and do the outline. So, i managed to write a very decent rough draft in just a couple hours. I am quite pleased with myself. but, i had to do it that way in order to get the outline. it's just easier for me. (NOTE: picture still hasn't uploaded).
oh, i can't believe i didn't mention this already...we got a new kitty yesterday. Her name is snickers and she is just around 8 weeks old. We got her from my aunt michelle. She is calico and tiny and sweet. lol. I had to do it, because the other night, makenneh got a piece of paper and wanted me to draw people. I did. She asked who they were, i said, who do you want them to be? She said, no, who are they. So i said, "you and buddy". She said, well can you draw you and daddy and my kitty so i can remember him. i wanted to bawl. it was so sad. Please keep in mind that i am not an artist. i can't draw a straight line with a ruler. But i drew me and daddy and kitty. then, she wanted me to write about her kitty being gone. So, i wrote a short story and read it to her. She took the paper and held her to her lips and when i looked over at her, she had tears running down her cheeks. i swear silent tears are the worst. I held her and stroked her hair and let her cry, as i cried with her. Seeing the hurt in my little girl just makes me all the more mad at that neighbor lady who is superstitious so made up crap to complain about to get rid of the black cat. I hate her right now. I know it's a strong word. But, damnit, i know that cat wasn't causing her any problems. He has never caused any problems. The damn thing wouldn't even bother food i would leave sitting on counter. He was the most amazing cat i have ever had/seen/known. Before we moved to this Hell, we would go for walks and he would follow us all the way. NEVer going too far. he would run ahead, then wait for us. run ahead and wait. it was crazy. And he loved to be petted and held and cuddled. every day he would come beg some lovin. We will never be able to "replace" him bc i truly believe he was a one of a kind kitty. I did call the animal shelter, but heard on the recording that it's $25 fee and $9/day for animals picked up. So, even if he was there, we don't have that kind of money to get him back. So, i decided it was best to not even know if he was there. Not to mention, i wouldn't want to hear that he was euthanized. OK, i don't want to think about this anymore. I am sad.
Here is the pic. Not the one i thought it was, though. Oh well. I did make it small, bc i figured it would load faster. It is late now, but maybe tomorrow i will try another one.
I gave my presentation on my multicultural house thursday. It was so fun to learn all the facts about past generations in my family. I loved it. Hopefully we will know our grades on it, this thursday. I am sure i did well. Our teacher may not be back to class though. He informed us thursday that he is going in on monday for tests on his heart. Depending on what they find out, he may or may not be back. If it's just minor blockage (Or nothing at all wrong), he will return. however, if it is major blockage/requires surgery, they will be bringing in a new instructor. I hope it doesn't come to that. Hopefully it's something simple and he is able to return soon.
*I am currently trying to upload a picture or two to share. I know I have promised them several times...but it really takes forever and two days to upload them on here. I get frustrated and give up, usually. But the picture i am trying this time is makenneh getting on the bus, her first day. Depending on how fast it loads, i may even try another one. In the meantime, I will have to think of more things to ramble about. Because, if i sit and wait for it to upload, i will go crazy.
I have to do an informative speech for my public speaking class next week. I couldn't think of a topic for the longest times. I mean, we get to choose anything..and well, that leaves a lot of options. Finally, tonight, while sitting here thinking, i decided to do it on postpartum depression. I mean, i know all about that stuff, first hand, unfortunately. The outline is due monday. I have trouble starting with an outline. I don't understand how you can outline from thin air. I must write the paper first, then go back and do the outline. So, i managed to write a very decent rough draft in just a couple hours. I am quite pleased with myself. but, i had to do it that way in order to get the outline. it's just easier for me. (NOTE: picture still hasn't uploaded).
oh, i can't believe i didn't mention this already...we got a new kitty yesterday. Her name is snickers and she is just around 8 weeks old. We got her from my aunt michelle. She is calico and tiny and sweet. lol. I had to do it, because the other night, makenneh got a piece of paper and wanted me to draw people. I did. She asked who they were, i said, who do you want them to be? She said, no, who are they. So i said, "you and buddy". She said, well can you draw you and daddy and my kitty so i can remember him. i wanted to bawl. it was so sad. Please keep in mind that i am not an artist. i can't draw a straight line with a ruler. But i drew me and daddy and kitty. then, she wanted me to write about her kitty being gone. So, i wrote a short story and read it to her. She took the paper and held her to her lips and when i looked over at her, she had tears running down her cheeks. i swear silent tears are the worst. I held her and stroked her hair and let her cry, as i cried with her. Seeing the hurt in my little girl just makes me all the more mad at that neighbor lady who is superstitious so made up crap to complain about to get rid of the black cat. I hate her right now. I know it's a strong word. But, damnit, i know that cat wasn't causing her any problems. He has never caused any problems. The damn thing wouldn't even bother food i would leave sitting on counter. He was the most amazing cat i have ever had/seen/known. Before we moved to this Hell, we would go for walks and he would follow us all the way. NEVer going too far. he would run ahead, then wait for us. run ahead and wait. it was crazy. And he loved to be petted and held and cuddled. every day he would come beg some lovin. We will never be able to "replace" him bc i truly believe he was a one of a kind kitty. I did call the animal shelter, but heard on the recording that it's $25 fee and $9/day for animals picked up. So, even if he was there, we don't have that kind of money to get him back. So, i decided it was best to not even know if he was there. Not to mention, i wouldn't want to hear that he was euthanized. OK, i don't want to think about this anymore. I am sad.
Here is the pic. Not the one i thought it was, though. Oh well. I did make it small, bc i figured it would load faster. It is late now, but maybe tomorrow i will try another one.
Thursday, November 01, 2007
Candy galore
Well, the kids had fun trick or treating last night. They got a decent amount of candy. More than any little kids need,for sure.
We went to a local church and did the trunk or treating. It was nice to just be able to park the car and do it all in one spot. Each car had their trunk open and decorated and they would sit or stand there and hand out candy. So, rather than go door to door, in and out of the car, we went parking spot to parking spot. The only bad thing was it started misting shortly after we arrived and so it was a wet night. but, a fun one. They even served hot dogs, popcorn and drinks. It was nice. They also had two bounce houses, which is cool, but really, i didn't think it a good idea to be jumping around in a bounce house with halloween costumes on. sEems rather dangerous to me. So, we skipped that, much to the childrens' sadness. They quickly got over it though, when we left there to do a little more trick or treating...of course, just to family's houses at that point. Which, i just realized, oh my gosh, i forgot to take my kids to my sister's house. Ugh, now i feel like a complete ass. It is so hard when you have little kids, everyone wants you to stop by so they can see your kids.
Oh and the field trip was fun. My mom and sister went along as well. We went on a hayride through the trails lined with characters like The INcredibles, Dora, Clifford, Snoopy/Charlie Brown, Fantastic 4, Transformers, Nemo, Pirates of the carribean, Spiderman, Superman, etc. The characters are actually made from wood and painted by a local artist. He does a fantastic job. Then, everyone got to pick a pumpkin from the pumpkin patch. Then we toured the the cider mill and watched how apple cider is made, went out to see the animals,t hen had lunch. We kicked the whole thing off with cider and donuts.
Makenneh seems to feel good during the day, then gets to coughing at night, in her sleep. She is still playing and running and having a good time while awake.
Well, I have to finish up my project for my multicultural class and i need to clean. So im of fhere!
We went to a local church and did the trunk or treating. It was nice to just be able to park the car and do it all in one spot. Each car had their trunk open and decorated and they would sit or stand there and hand out candy. So, rather than go door to door, in and out of the car, we went parking spot to parking spot. The only bad thing was it started misting shortly after we arrived and so it was a wet night. but, a fun one. They even served hot dogs, popcorn and drinks. It was nice. They also had two bounce houses, which is cool, but really, i didn't think it a good idea to be jumping around in a bounce house with halloween costumes on. sEems rather dangerous to me. So, we skipped that, much to the childrens' sadness. They quickly got over it though, when we left there to do a little more trick or treating...of course, just to family's houses at that point. Which, i just realized, oh my gosh, i forgot to take my kids to my sister's house. Ugh, now i feel like a complete ass. It is so hard when you have little kids, everyone wants you to stop by so they can see your kids.
Oh and the field trip was fun. My mom and sister went along as well. We went on a hayride through the trails lined with characters like The INcredibles, Dora, Clifford, Snoopy/Charlie Brown, Fantastic 4, Transformers, Nemo, Pirates of the carribean, Spiderman, Superman, etc. The characters are actually made from wood and painted by a local artist. He does a fantastic job. Then, everyone got to pick a pumpkin from the pumpkin patch. Then we toured the the cider mill and watched how apple cider is made, went out to see the animals,t hen had lunch. We kicked the whole thing off with cider and donuts.
Makenneh seems to feel good during the day, then gets to coughing at night, in her sleep. She is still playing and running and having a good time while awake.
Well, I have to finish up my project for my multicultural class and i need to clean. So im of fhere!
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