Let me INNNN

I tried logging into my email and it won't let me. I do not know what the problem is. Then, I cannot recall my security question answer, so I am just out of luck. I really don't believe that I chose that as my security question because it seems so not my style. Who knows. Now I am more stressed than ever because I have all this computer class stuff to do and really need my email. Not to mention the pain and agony it will cause with school and such. Grrrr.....I am not happy.

I am too upset and frustrated to post about much of anything righ tnow.>>I shall go sulk and hope that something works out with my damn email soon. I am currently locked out of it for 24 hours because i had too many attempts to get into it today (the security quesiton was ...your favorite pastime. ) I seriously don't have a pastime and if i did, it probably would have changed since I originally created this email account, seems how i did so several years ago. Geesh. THat's why i am almost sure i didn't chose that question.

sigh

On my way

Well, I have an interview on Friday for my internship. I am mostly excited about it. Its at a senior center. I will get to walk around and check out the facility and learn what all they do during my interview. As of right now, I know little about it. I feel better just knowing that I am on the right track. I was beginning to feel bogged down with all of it.

I had one assignment due today that wasn't too bad. It was a case note based on a video we saw in class. I think i did well. I have a few assignments due tomorrow for my intern class...a resume, cover letter and writing assignment about what we want to do career-wise and why, basically. Pretty simple assignments. I still have done almost nothing with my computer class, so that has me a bit stressed. But my plan is to go in tomorrow before or after my intern class and do some work. That way I can feel better about it all. That reminded me to log into the site so that I can be counted as present for attendance. If we don't log in, we are marked absent.

Anyway, nothing too exciting to talk about tonight. My life is quite dull. But, it's ticking along and what more can we ask for?

With that, i am off for now, finish rounds on here and do some homework...take care and keep warm

Where is Spring?

I am over winter. Ready for it to be gone. Anyone else?

I had a relaxing weekend. We went to my aunt and uncle's on Friday, with the plan to stay a night to give everyone here a break....us from them, them from us. Well, my cousins were going to their grandma's and asked if the kids could go, too. So, my kids ended up staying with them for the weekend. They love it over there because she spoils them and they have a great time. So, we had an expected break this weekend. We ended up staying at my aunt and uncle's all weekend. I have to admit that on the way home, the anxiety began to creep up again. I hate that. But, all was pretty much well for today.

For some darn reason, my fingers don't want to work right tonight. I have to keep deleting typos. Probably bc my fingers are too cold.

We may be able to get our own place soon. There was a 3 bdrm, 2 bath mobile home for sale for very cheap. It does need a little bit of work, but it's pretty nice and the lot rent would be reasonable. Can't get a 3 bdrm anythng for that price. I won't get too excited yet, because the timing is really off by a couple weeks. I have to play the wait and see game. My uncle just got some more jobs (one is quite large) and so they have work lined up for a bit. My uncle also went down and applied for his business license and opened a business account at the bank. He spoke with the guy he contracts for and there is a possibility that in the near future, several of the other contractors will be retiring and my uncle was asked if he would want to take over those accounts as well. So, that would be pretty steady work. I am hoping and praying that things work out at least until some jobs open up around here. So many places are closing down, laying off or just plain cutting back hours that jobs are quite scarce. So, I am grateful for this opportunity and hope it works out.

Well, I am off to finish my rounds and head to bed...keep warm and have a great night

Doh!

As I smack myself on the forehead. Our internet went down on Saturday. I called the ISP and there was an automated message while waiting for a representative. The message said that the DSL was down in the following states and listed MI. I hung up after hearing that because that would explain why we had no internet. Sunday came and went, so did Monday...still no internet. Would you believe that Tues came and went also with no internet? Well it did. Finally,t his morning, we called and come to find out, the reason we were without internet so long was because I had told Jeremy to close out the LAN connection and apparently that was the wrong one...so that is what stopped it from working. We could have had a connection all this time. Anyway, I survived. I am back and trying to catch up.

Nothing overly exciting took place over the past few days. Such is my life. But, one monumental thing occured last Sunday and I forgot to post about it. Makenneh has been going to church with my parents every Sunday and almost every Wednesday. She has been doing this for several months or more now. Well, she attends Junior church there and I guess the lady who runs the Junior Church talked to Makenneh about Jesus and how He died on the cross to save us from our sins and that by accepting Jesus as our Savior, we are saved. She explained all this to Makenneh and asked her questions to see if she really understood that and the meaning of sin. Makenneh said she did. She then asked if Makenneh wanted to be saved and she said yes. So, Makenneh accepted Christ. I will be honest here...I am elated and a bit reserved at the same time. The reason I am reserved is because, in my mind, I am not 100% sure that she fully understands the whole concept of God/Jesus/Salvation. I think she gets some of it, but not sure, at her age and maturity, that she is ready to fully grasp it. My dad had mentioned that the next step is baptism, which is what we believe, in our faith. HOwever, I think I am going to hold off a little bit on that step, simply because when she does this, I want it to be because she knows Jesus in her heart, understands the meaning of Him dying on the cross and the road to salvation. I don'twant her to just go through motions because it seems like the next logical step for church. I want it to be her idea, her understanding. But, either way, I think it is great that she is learning about God and that she enjoys going to church. She does not like to miss a Sunday. This past weekend she stayed at her Gma Chris's and would only stay if she could still go to church, so my parents picked her up for church and dropped her back off afterward. Evenutally, I need to get myself there. But, I guess I have been a bit jaded, if you will, regarding the whole church thing. I was saved many many moons ago. Jesus lives in my heart. He is my Savior. I know that it is only through Him that I take each breath, wake each morning, and will eventually get to be reunited with my family members who have gone on before me. But, my realtionship with God doesn't seem to fit into the mold of most church politics. I could go on in length about this but suffice it to say that I find it difficult to sit through sermon after sermon amongst people who claim to be Christians and speak of the love of the Lord, yet are the very first ones to cast stones, point fingers, pass judgments and otherwise condemn. My understanding of God, my relationship with God doesn't require me to do that. In fact, my understanding of Him says that that type of behavior is the exact opposite of what He would want us to do. I am not here to condemn others to Hell, I am not here to judge others and their relationships with God. It just seems that churches, when organized together, preach, if only underlying messages, to do just those things. Anyway, that's all I have to say about that right now.

Next week I will have my first assignments due. We shall see how that goes. I feel like I am totally slacking. I haven't really read anything, done anything..just showed up for class, took notes, paid attention. I guess I go through this at the beginning of every semester, as I get a feel for the instructor and the class content.

Oh, I made the Dean's List again! I really don't feel that it's that great of an honor. I mean, it is, but seriously, if you show up and do half of what you're supposed to, you should be able to pull off a decent grade. And your cummulative grade only needs to be a 2.0, with a 3.5 for that particular semester in order to make the list. So, yes, it is an accomplishment, but print me a letter telling me about an honor for 4.0, with a cumulatiave gpa of 3.0 or higher or even 3.5 and higher. Then I will be more excited. LOL.

Probably not after this semester, because then I wouldn't make any such list. ;)

Shouldn't an instructor who is teaching stress managemnt courses be required to have great time management skills? She is going to teach us about personal management/time mgmt tomorrow and she is 10 plus mins late every class! Then, she has us spend 30 mins doing Yoga and 20 or 30 mins talking about things not pertaining to teh class...doesn't leave much time for instruction does it? Thankfully it's only an 8 wk course, so it will be over soon! It stresses me out! LOL

What was I thinking?

I set my schedule so that I have 3 classes back to back on Tues and Thurs. I thought it would be better all the way around. Less trips to the campus, being the main attraction. Less parking hassles too. Well, yesterday I started and on my way home, I thought, I don't know about this schedule. I realized that if i get homework in a couple of my classes on tues that is due thurs, it could make for a rough wednesday full of homework. But, I don't think I will have to worry about it too much. My first class is Practicum and in there we are going to learn the agency standards for record keeping and interview skills. It's a more hands on kind of class. My second class is Community Development and we learn about organizing and grants and all that sort of thing. Then the last class is Stress Management. I was unhappy to learn that we hve to bring an exercize mat to class for relaxation exercizes. The exercizes don't bother me..it's the whole having to cart a mat aroun d to my other two classes. I have no time to run back to my car before that class. Jeremy suggested I drop the mat off in the classroom before heading to my first class of the day. THat may work, but the classrooms are used by different teachers all day. And often they are locked. But, we can try it.That class sounds like it will be easy....no tests and minimal homework.

Today I go for my agency experience class. That's at 2. then tonight i have to attend an orientation for my computer class.

I am freezing. It is soooo cold right now. Last night it got down to -19* at the local airport. Too cold for my comfort, I tell ya.

Well, i just can't even think of anything more to say. I can only think about how cold my fingers and toes are. LOL. Have a great day and keep warm!

New Semester

Tomorrow is the first day of my next semester. I am excited and nervous all in one. Two reasons for the nervousness. 1-I am taking my very first Open entry/Open Exit (aka oe2). That means there are no set class times, I can work at my own pace, when it fits my schedule. It's a computer class..entry level, basic stuff, really. It does require that I attend an orientation and I had to choose from a list of available dates/times. I will probably go on Wednesday. The Oe2 lab is in a building that I have never entered before, so that has me a tad nervous too...but not too much. 2-I start my internship this semester. My class for that is on Wednesday and I will be assigned a place to intern. I am excited, but it is also a new experience and I will be putting to use the things I have learned thus far. I hope I get a good placement and enjoy the job.

We had bunco tonight and nothing exciting there. I didn't win anything. That's usually the case. WE have had a problem the past several months with girls nad their cell phones. TEll me why it is that people cannot enjoy the company of those in their physical presence and must instead use the phone to talk/text all the time?! THis game is kinda time sensitive. You have to move at a fast pace, it can cost you the game if you don't. HOwever, we have a few people who want to try to play teh game and chat with their fanclub. I do not think that anyone is so important in the world that they must have a phone glued to their ear or fingertips at all times. It is 4 hours, once a month. We asked tonight that they keep the phones on vibrate or off and in their pocket. Of course, nobody really listened. Ugh. To anyone out there who may be reading this: IF you are one of those cell phone junkies, please realize how utterly rude you are when you do this. Put the damn phone down and show some respect for those in your presence. The calls can wait. YOu will eventually find yourself all alone with only your phone....for nobody is going to want to hang out with you, visit you or be in your presence because being ignored for the phone is not a fun time.

ANyway, that's all Ihave to say tonight..I need to get ready for bed. Good Night

Down I go

I was going out to my car yesterday to get Makenneh's snow pants and when I reached the end of the brick walk way..i felt. Right on my knees. It hurt then and it hurts more now. My one knee is bruised and my ankle hurts a bit (not like a break or sprain, but it hurts). And then of course, all those muscles along the ribs and in the stomach..yeah, i feel them too.

Today was the meat sale at a local grocery store. They have one every month. I don't usually go, but this month, they had a few things I wanted. My sister wanted me to pick her up some burger while I was there, too. OMG! This is a small, old grocery store. Locally owned. It gets sooo crowded during these sales, it's ridiculous. Today, so many people were just standing around waiting as the meat came out. The butcher/meat dept couldn't keep the meat coming out fast enough. As the girl would bring a rack out, people were grabbing the meat right off the cart. It was crazy. I was able to get the things I had gone for though.

I broke the news to my mom today that Jeremy and I plan on moving out asap. It's not the best financial decision and I know we will struggle like crazy, but the truth is, I cannot keep staying here and keep my sanity too. When I get my student loan and reimbursement from financial aid, we plan to use that money to pay up a few months worth of rent. We have to hope that Jeremy can stay busy enough with my uncle, doing the maintenance for the apartment complexes/homes that the landlord owns. The bit of extra money from that will help, until he can get a break and get a job. He puts in resumes/applications almost daily. The job listing section for our area has about 9 jobs and most of those are either those work at home scams or vaccuum sales type jobs. It is horrible. We just have to hold on to faith that he will get his break sooner rather than later. Ralph is going to talk to his cousin who won the representative seat in his district, to see if he can do anything to help Jeremy. The biggest draw back that makes things difficult for Jeremy to get a job is his lack of a license (long story but dates back to when he was 15 yrs old) and his record (again, long story but dates back to when he was 17). Both things were a lifetime ago and yet, he (and now we) still pay a price for stupid mistakes. And before anyone's mind runs wild....there were *NONviolent crimes involved, in fact, no victims period. (*Thank you Julie for pointing that typo out) It was joy riding in his parents' vehicle that lost his license and destruction of property that landed him in the big house. A lifetime ago. But with those two things..it is very hard to find jobs. Even manufacturing jobs want you to have a license. Not to mention, he was pulled over on 4th of July this year and almost taken to jail, my car impounded. He hasn't driven since, because it isn't worth the risk. But it makes it very difficult to get things done. Not to mention he feels like a caged rat...not able to ever just leave on his own, by himself. That added to him not working and he just feels like a big pile of shit. I reassure him that it is ok. It has to be. I realize the road blocks and I fully understand them. It isn't as if he wants to sit around on his ass all day, every day. It makes him crazy. I really hope that Ralph's cousin is able to do something to help out. It would be the greatest gift we have ever received. Just having a license, alone, would make our lives so much easier and productive. And make him more employable and happier and less stressed. In the meantime, I will continue with my education and hopefully we can make it until I have a degree and can get a real job with a real income that will allow us a sliver of the pie that is called the American Dream.

Well, I am off to do something, even if it's wrong....lol.

Oh, I forgot to mention..I had a lightbulb moment. I thought about referring Desiree (my cousin who lost her mom and whose dad just gave her up because he didn't want her anymore) to Big Brothers/Big Sisters. I did it online and within 30 mins tops, a representative called me. The case manager was supposed to call my aunt today (the one who has guardianship of Des) to set up a meeting to get it started. She said that they usually take children from single family homes, but given her curcumstances, she would qualify. The lady said she couldn't believe what the poor girl has gone through and that it was real. She is going to work hard to find a match for Des..she said she wants to find an older woman, who will be constant and committed because she realized Des doesn't need anymore people leaving her. I was so grateful, i had tears in my eyes. I don't know why we didn't think of this sooner!

Bleach

ady for an early night tonight! Hopefully the kids will be too!I hate the stuff. Bleach and I do not get along, period. Every. single. time. I. use. bleach. I have a mishap. Every time. Usually it's that I think, "Oh will just spray this here spot on the counter and wipe, should be no problem." It shouldn't be, right? WRONG! I will, inevitably get the bleach on my clothes. Especially true if the clothing is either A)new or B.)a favorite article of clothing. And I won't wear things with stains, even the smallest stain...outside the house. So, they are next to useless. Well, Makenneh had gotten a stain on her new shirt she got for Christmas. I grabbed the spray bottle to spray the stain (we don't do Shout or any of those stain removers....mom discovered long ago that all purpose cleaner works just as well, if not better...she can get a stain out of anything). Anway, you can probably see where this may be going. The bottle was pretty much empty. it was some kind of Oxy cleaner (knock-off brand, because really, it works just as well). Well, unbeknownst to me, my mom had used the bottle last, and figuring it was good as gone, didn't pay attention when she put they sprayer back on, figuring it would just go in the trash. Before it could make it to the trash, I come along and think, oh i can use this on her shirt. Spray. spray, spray...oooooh shit! what is that bleach smell. I grab the bottle, read the contents again...no bleach in this cleaner, so wth!? And in the few seconds all this is going thru my head the spot I had sprayed was turning brown. MOOOOMMMMM!!!!! Did you put bleach in this spray bottle?!!!!!?!??!!? That's when she told me what she had done with the spray nozzle. I wanted to cry. I was mad. mad at me, mad at her, mad at the world. I do not have money to be ruining clothes like that. The kid wore it to school one day and it had to go in the trash. It was a spot right in the front, center. No way to even hide it. I. Hate. Bleach.

On a good note, I went through my new school books, got them organized and ready to go, got my notebooks out and now I just need to get some folders. They are around here somewhere, just have to find them.

i tried taking back my one last book from last semester, to sell back and after driving all the way out there, was told that those two books are overstocked. So, i couldn't sell them back. I plan to list them on myspace, under the college section. I hope to be able to sell it that way, because frankly, we could very much so use the money. I can sell it for less than the school store, and probably more than what they would have given me for a buy-back...so a good deal for buyer and seller. But, i will really take whatever I can get for it. It serves me no purpose hanging around here, in the way. We don't have room for storing things that aren't needed at the moment.

And now, just like that, im off to finish my rounds here. I think I am ready for an early night..hopefully the kids are too..