clarification and other stuff probably

My parents rarely have ever made a late payment. I am almost certain if mom had to choose btwn eating or paying a bill on time, she would pay the bill on time. She is anal about it. They are working on consolidating to 0% interest and such to get the payments down. And with dad back to work, of course, they will be getting back on track. Just seemed that everything went to hell at the same time.

I am very happy to say that my dad called my brother yesterday to ask about the car. I am sure it took some swallowing of pride for dad to have to do this. But, my brother did agree to let him use the car and he even came over and took dad to pay some bills and run some errands and get the car legal for the road (tags, insurance, etc.). So, dad spent the rest of the day fixing the car (needed a new fuel line) and he should hopefully be good to go. That makes me feel so much better. I hope that my brother feels good about what he chose to do and that he realizes that sometimes we do things that aren't beneficial to us at the moment but we do it because it is the right thing to do and it makes us feel better in the long run. I really don't know what is going on with my brother. He has always had a selfish bone about him, but it seems that in the past year, he has become more self-absorbed. Before he and his gf got into this adult foster care work, we used to hang out all the time. Of course, back then, we were both living in the same park. But, we would have dinner together more nights than not, hang out and watch movies on weekends, etc. Then, they moved into the first AFC house and it just dwindled from there. This job does tie them down bc they can't just up and leave bc the clients can't be left alone. They can do nothing without first setting up relief work to come in (except for during the day while clients are at program). Add to that they had a baby in July and well, time constraints play a part, I suppose. Then, my brother has this idea that we should all come to him. But, they don't ever go anywhere to visit even when they have the chance...well, at least not to any of our homes. I don't know..it is certainly different with sons/brothers. My sister and I have our parents as first priority, i guess you would say. Whereas, my brother and gf have her parents (who are divorced) as first priority. Of course, the adjustment wouldn't be nearly as bad for my mom had my brother not been a momma's boy! She struggles with all of it. I try to talk to her and put it in perspective, but it's still a hard pill for her to swallow. I have to admit that I never imagined he would be this way about it all. He never comes over to our parents' ok, rarely...and he has only brought the baby over there a few times. It's different for my mom because I have always taken my kids over there, I talk to her every day on the phone, and I make sure that I stop by a few times a week. Of course, mom and/or dad watch one or both of my kids once or twice during the week depending on work schedules and my school schedule. I suggested to mom that she start hosting Sunday dinners..i think that will help get them over to visit and everyone able to reconnect. So, this sunday we are doing that. Anyway, enough of that!

I had my Psych test last night. Let me back up to earlier in the day. I needed to study and get my research proposal ready. I was up late the night before working on this and then Sebastian woke up early...so I had like 3 hours of interrupted sleep (bc Jeremy couldn't find his wallet before work and woke me to ask if i knew where it was). So, i started my day exhausted. I got the kids ready so i could take Makenneh to the bus stop. got her on the bus and ran to the store to get a few things we needed. I came home, started to work on the proposal and the norton crap was popping up, scanning, doing all this stuff that made it almost impossible to get anywhere. the key code wasn't working so norton would do most stuff, but i kept getting prompted to register, to enter keycodes, etc. I was so frustrated. My uncle called to ask if I had been able to finish his paperwork (I am his personal secretary..he had papers from friend of court and I had to fill them out...he can't read/comprehend well). So, i had to stop what I was doing to finish up his paperwork and get that set to mail. Then, mom called and needed to be picked up from work (the truck wouldn't start that morning so she got a ride to work and now needed one home). No big deal. Well, it certainly put me under a bigger crunch, but it's my mom and I will do what she needs. So, i get me and Seb ready and bundled and go get mom. While out, I stopped by post office to mail uncle's paperwork and then came home. I again fought with this computer to try to get access to the college library site to find my scholarly article. To no avail. Then it was time to get Makenneh from bus. So, again, we load in the car and go up to wait for bus. We get back here (and mind you this whole time I am so exhausted I am sick to my stomach from it) and i try some more. In the meantime, I also start dinner. I feel like I am stretched beyond my limit and felt a snap coming. It came! Jeremy come home to me sitting at desk, head in hands, crying. The kids were being horrible and Sebastian made more messes than I care to think about...including fish tank gravel on my carpet, popcorn dumped on loveseat...it never ends with the kid! Then, mom called and asked if i had class and if i could drop off some hamburger buns to her (they live like 2 miles away). So, i agreed, wanting an excuse to leave early anyway. Makenneh was being mouthy and told to go to her room, she yelled, "NEVER" and then continued to disobey...battle of wills btwn her and Jeremy. I just stayed out of it. I had had all I could take. I called mom back to see if she wanted to have what I made for dinner (chicken and noodle casserole, new recipe). So, that's what I took them, in addition to buns for the next night. I got to class with about 10 mins to spare. I decided that I knew all I was going to know in prep for the test. I was over it. The teacher started with the next 3 chapters and then we took the test. The next 3 chapters will be on our test next week. OMGosh, it's a bunch of stuff to know..the brain, the senses, the nervous system...so much info. And she went through ti so fast, there was little time for any notetaking...so mostly have to go by her powerpoint handouts and the book. she did give us a review outline that we can take notes on and use on the test. Anyway, we finally got the test in front us. Thankfully it was all multiple choice adn we could use our notes. So, i think i did ok. I am safe to say that I at least got a 3.0 on it. That isn't good enough, imo, bc I love the 4.0 but sometimes, we can't do it all. I felt some sense of relief at having gotten the test out of the way, but of course, there is another test next week and so more studying on top of all the other tests and homework I have. This semester is certainly more challenging than last.

BREATHE!

I am currently trying to download some of the programs noname gave me, but every time I try to download something it either won't dl or won't open. Grrr.

This blog is going to be my therapy that gets me through the next couple weeks. So, bear (or is it bare...lol) with me. By typing it out, I am able to work through solutions and see things more clearly and objectively.

Back a few weeks ago, we all (my parents, sister, brother, their spouses, and other family, friends) all went to the local bar because my sister was going to get a chance to sing with the band, on stage. Well, my one aunt and uncle didn't really have money to go so we said we would buy some drinks. Well, in turn, they said when they got their taxes back, they would take us out. Well, he called yesterday to say that we would go out this friday night, their treat. So, that's the plans for tonight. It will be nice to get out of house for a few hours. Then, the rest of weekend will be spent on homework/studying. Somewhere in all this mix, i need to find time to get packing. We have gotten some things packed, but there is a lot to go. Can't remember if i posted this or not, but we are going to stay with my Uncle Ken for a few months. That way, he can get her out of there sooner. It's not the best solution, but it will work and take some pressure off me. It had gotten to where he would call me almost every day to see if we had found a place and whatnot. UGH! I have lived with him (when he was still married) before and it was fine. He is very laid back and easy going for most part. The things that bug me are his racism and his warped views on things. But, he knows where I stand on these issues and I will not hesitate to remind my children of what I believe should he say anything in front of them. Like, if he uses the N word in their presence, I will say, "Makenneh, we don't use that word because it hurts some people's feelings and that isn't nice." Things like that. Or if he starts talking about gays...i will remind my kids that God loves everyone (tempted to say, even your uncle who is saying things he shouldnt...lol, but i wouldn't really say that)...and so should we. Things to let them know that it is not good/nor ok to say those kinds of things. I don't think it will be much of a problem because he does know how i feel and where I stand on those things.

Anyway, see, I am going on and on again...bc it is so therapeutic. I should stop now though and finish my rounds on here, while i try to continue to dl those programs that I am so grateful for being suggested. I want this computer cleaned up. Oh and Julie had asked if brother in law still has disk...i don't know. He has all but fallen off the face of the earth..he is busy with college and work study and such and hardly hear from him. We will hopefully get something figured out, soon!