That's a bit better

I am currently using a wireless key in our pc. My cousin's fiance gave it to us and we are able to connect to their internet bc they live so close. It sure does move a lot faster. The bad part is, the connection isn't always that good, so there are times when it doesn't want to let me on. But not nearly as bad as the dial up.

I kept Makenneh home from school all last week (a couple were snow days, so she only missed 2 days) bc she had that bad cold that is going around. Her teacher/aid complain when kids come in coughing (and I think i might have mentioned this before) and they tell the kids that they shouldn't be in school "sick". Well, once the cough progressed to congestion, sneezing and all that, I kept her home. The problem is, she is still coughing (mostly at night). It is back to a more dry cough. I don't think it's good to keep her out any longer. I mean, this stuff is going around, back and forth and could be awhile before it leaves for good. Luckily, it's only Headstart and so she isn't "falling behind" but she is missing out on the educational opportunities, social activities, etc. I really think i will send her tomorrow. I may just send a note to the teacher that I felt she had missed enough class time and that seems how the cough is no longer full of phlegm, I am sending her. IF they want me to come get her, they can call my cell. I just can't see keeping a kid home for a cough. There is no fever, diarrhea, vomiting, rash, runny nose, fatigue, etc.


I found an ad in our classified for a home for rent in the town nearby (where we wanted to move anyway). It's a 3 bedroom, basement, but ad says small. I can deal with small, afterall, it can't be smaller than a 2bdrm mobile home, right? LOL. ANyway, it's only a $200 deposit and the rent is less than we would have had to pay if we would have went with financing that other mobile home....by like $100. I am going to call on it in the morning and hope and pray that it is still available and that we can get it. It would be a dream come true. I was reminded tonight why there is no way i could live with my parents. I was on the verge of tears. The kids are a handful, I will not deny it. But, my dad seems to think that things are just black and white and simple. He will make comments that just upset me. Tonight, I went over there around 7pm just to visit. Makenneh started whining about something or another and I don't even remember what led up to this comment, but he was like, "it's 8 oclock, you should be in bed. It's a school night," blah blah blah. Yeah, she should be getting ready for bed/in bed. He doesn't need to make comments like that, though. Kinda like passive/agressive digs is how i take them. Then, i mean, he had made several p/a comments in the 30 mins we were there. Makenneh was being mouthy, whiney, etc and I decided it was just time to go home. Of course, my mom gets defensive any time dad says anything to the kids. Even if it is something that needs to be said. She thinks they shoudl be able to pretty much do as they please and not be scolded. Well, she was getting pissed at him tonight and kept saying, "i just don't know why he has to be so damn mean..." blah blah blah. I do "get" my dad. I can understand where he is coming from. It doesn't mean that some of the things he says don't hurt or upset me. But, i try not to dwell on them. She does though. And then they argue. She then suggested that we go down to my uncle's. (he lives right down the road). So we get in the car and she says, "he is getting it when i get back. It's bullshit. I already have one grandkid i never get to see." The thing is, I think she is so afraid that I will keep the kids from them that she tries to do everything to ensure it. I am quite open about my parenting skills (and often, lack there of). I know what I should do different and I know what I need to be doing. I wouldn't let a few comments from him keep them from the kids. Grandparents are important and he doesn't say/do things detrimental. The kids both think the world of him and I will always do my part to continue to foster that kind of a relationship. Anyway, i suppose this part was just more of a vent. But the bottom line is, I was reminded of how it wouldn't work to have us all under the same roof. And really, rightfully so. My kids are heathens most times. They don't have a set bedtime (by my own fault) and they are who they are because that's how I've made them. Bottom line. When I should have been making the mold and setting the boundaries, I was stuck in a deep, dark hell of depression. I did what I had to do to survive each hour. I did a lot of pacifying to save peace. I couldn't cope and it was better to just give in than to battle. Better at the time. I was simply too weak. I am now trying to undo all of that and it is far harder to do at this point. It's now a matter of reforming an already set mold. Anyway...enough of that. LOL.

After hearing about Julie's success with the chart, I have decided to give it yet another try. The chart is a dry erase Scooby Do one I had gotten from a fundraiser. It has categories and you write in the specific "chores" or whatever. Well, at first, I had quite a bit on there. There is a section for "taking care of me, minding my p's and q's, at school, playtime and then home sweet home". I had written a few things for each category. Well, i realized that if i want to change the behaviors, I need to pick one at a time and work on them. So, today, I erased all that I had and started over. I crossed off a couple sections..school bc well, she has no issues as school and why put more on there to be overwhelming. I crossed off p's and q's bc she does use her manners most of the time and those aren't the issue. The main thing I want to start with, I think, is bedtime. So that one is on there. The rest are just a few simple things (bathroom-wiping, flushing, washing, which she has done, for example). I figure, concentrate on the bedtime and then after that is mastered, add in something else. I am going to also borrow Julie's idea of buying up some little prizes to have on hand, for her to choose from each week. I am really hoping to see some success with it. Then, if i could only get Sebastian to stay out of mischief, I would have it made.

My boy child is something all his own. He is the most adorable little creature. His bright blonde hair, big blue eyes. Steals your heart instantly. But, inside, he is almost full monkey. Stubborn monkey. He loves to climb, jump on furniture, from furniture, onto the counter, nothing is safe from him. And then, he can't help but get his tiny little hands on all the things he shouldn't. Video games, movies, plants, you name it. I have said that he is God's way of showing me that Makenneh's toddlerhood wasn't really that bad. LOL. I used to think that Makenneh was a monster. In reality, she was pretty easy. she would play (still does), never really got into things to make messes and/or break things. never put things in her mouth. SEbastian is opposite. He could have all the toys in the North Pole and he isn't going to play with them (unless you told him he couldn't). He gets into everything, puts everything (even bugers, tmi, i know) in his mouth. Gah! But then, he loves to climb up and cuddle and look at you with those big blue eyes, framed by the thick, dark eyelashes and the heart melts. I often wonder how such a beautiful child could be so monstrous!

Well, i suppose I've rambled enough. My fingers tell me I have. I have my first test for the semester and it's in my Human Sexuality class. I have been trying to study here and there, but I am so nervous about it. I don't know what exactly to expect. He did give us a study guide so that will be helpful. But we have to know about the 10 theories related to sexuality and the different cultures/countries/eras that contribute to our views on sexuality and those things along require a lot of information to commit to memory. The plus side is the test is multiple choice (25 questions) and true/false (5) and 2 essays. he already gave us the essay questions so i am going to answer them all out and study them. those are worth 20 pts each.

Oh and I emailed my Psych teacher the other night to ask about class. We have only met the first week and have been canceled every week since. She said not to worry, she is giving us a new schedule next time we meet. Whew! (i think, lol).

Well, im off to finish my rounds and get to sleep!

Please wish me luck/say a prayer that this rental house goes thru for us! It would definitely be a blessing!