Mom's birthday, moves and more

Monday is mom's bday. Unfortunately, I may not even get to see her.=( I am quite sad about that. But, she starts work tomorrow. She is going to be training to be manager at a local restaurant. She has to be to work at 8am. By the time she gets home, I will probably be headed to school. I am hoping she will be home early enough for me to at least stop in before going to school. With that, I have to make other arrangements for Sebastian. My uncle Ken said he would watch him once he gets laid off (bc he gets laid off for winters), but for now, I need something. My aunt Kathy is going to watch him tomorrow and we will see how it goes. The problem is, she has a puppy who likes to chew on people and well, Sebastian isn't too keen on dogs that like to be in his face. He hates it. Mom doesn't have to work Wednesday, so that day is covered. I will have about a week to come up with something.

We carved the pumpkins tonight. Makenneh just couldn't wait and really, with Halloween being wednesday, tonight was the best time. I did take some pictures. I want to share them, but we all know how long it takes to upload pictures on here. I may work on it anyway and add them in later. Now, i have pumpkin seeds to cook. The kids love them. Grandma got them hooked.

Oh my, it is 8pm and both, repeat, BOTH kids are asleep...hugging their jack-o-lanterns! Wow! They played very hard at grandma and papa's, jumping in huge leaf piles, raked just for their jumping pleasures! And i have to say, Seb is shaping up to be papa's lil sidekick. He just adores his papa. The bond has really grown since dad is on 8 hours and is usually home before i get there to pick Seb up after i get out of school. Of course, now that mom won't be babysitting, Seb is going to suffer some papa withdrawals. He's gotten used to seeing him every monday and wednesday!

Wednesday, Makenneh has a field trip the local apple orchard. WE are going on a hay ride through the pumpkin patch, where the kids get to pick a pumpkin, then we will tour the cider mill, see the animals in the little petting zoo and enjoy cider and donuts. My mom and sister are going to join us. They both have worked at this orchard and love it there. Im sure we will have a great time and the weather is saying 60 and some rain. Let's hope the rain holds off, though. But, we will certainly take the 60* temp! Thank you!

I finally got a letter in the mail about the student loan I applied for. They can't process it because you have to have a cumulative gpa of 2.0 or higher. Unfortunately, when i went to college the first time, all those years ago, I didn't do so hot. That GPA is figured into current grades, so i no go! Next semester I should be fine though, because I am doing very well in all of my classes, which will raise my gpa. See, if only we could get stubborn teenagers to realize that every foolish choice they make will affect them even years later. This is one of those examples. but for some reason, as teens, we think we are invincible and know it all. Ignorance is only bliss until it catches up with you! Then it downright sucks!

Im sure I have mentioned on here at least once that everything is going so well, I can't help but wait for the bottom to fall out? Well, it's beginning to fall. Little bits of things that just chip away at my happiness. My mother in law is one of the biggest chippers of happiness. But it's not surprising as misery loves company. She is just so darn spiteful and hateful at times. The cell phone bill was in her name and she was actually even paying for ours for a bit. I can totally understand her shutting our phones off. But, the fact is, she was sly about it and lied. No big deal again, bc ive come to realize you can't expect much different from her. The ass kicker? She calls me the other night and just had to rub in my face that she got all the phones turned back on bc it was cheaper to do that than to cancel our 2 phones. So, the next words out of her mouth, and I can't even make this stuff up....I figure that way i can give guys at one bar one phone number, guys at the other bar the other and then keep my phone for my family and such. WTF? Just rubbed me the wrong way. I don't expect her to pay for me to have a cell phone, by any means. But i had just been telling her how I have to fly home from my math class on mon and wed to make it in time to get Kenneh off the bus. I don't know what is gonna happen when snow flies and roads are slick on some days or if i break down or there is an accident and i get held up in traffic. The bus driver lets her off without knowing if i am there for her or not so she would be left at the bus stop, all alone, til who knows when. This is a serious fear of mine. Yet, Chris feels it necessary to throw in my face how she is paying for a total of 3 phones so she can work the men at the bars. Not to mention, she took the phones saying she was going to return them for a credit. So, now there is no credit on our portion of the bill. Just the whole thing and how she was so sneaky about it. I can't put it all into words. Then she stops by our place and her phone is ringing..she doesn't answer it. it rings again and she says, Oh is that my phone? In one of those irritating voices. Hey, dumbass, you KNOW it's your phone because we don't have one. WTF. Just things like that. She makes me want to vomit. Or how she said she would do a dress for makenneh's halloween costume and turns around and said she didn't remember. I may have vented about this before....but the fact is, if she would lay off the drinking, she might recall some of the things she says. grrrr.
end rant

ON to better news. I ordered a cell phone yesterday from At&t. I didn't think it would go through, bc other companies require a credit card, even if you don't owe anything. ATT does the credit check instantaneously so they don't require the credit card. It honestly happened so fast, it was almost scary. We just got one of the phones that they offer free when you sign contract and order online. And with that, we got a basic phone plan. I feel much better, knowing that should something happen on my way home from school, i can call someone to rescue my baby. A huge relief to me. I would get so antsy in class the closer to 330 it got.

And how about another move? Because life would be far too simple if things ran smoothly. My uncle Ken called my mom again about his situation with his fiancee (the one who let us move in here...who owns this mobile home). Things are turning very sour very fast for them and he is not wanting to stay with her. This means, we will have to move. I am trying to stay positive and know that everything will work out one way or another. At the same time, I am freaking out bc we do not, in way shape or form, have the money to move. It requires deposits and rents up front and all that. ANd moving isn't so easy with Jeremy's record, bc places will deny our applications for it even though it wasn't a violent offense and he did it when he was 17 yrs old and he has since grown up and moved on and become a productive member of society. They don't care. WE also can't afford to rent anything that costs much more than what we are paying now. That drastically limits us. Then, there is the whole school thing. If we change school districts, Makenneh won't be able to go to school, as most of hte headstart programs would be full now. We also can't move anywhere that is any further from the guy who takes Jeremy to work. We are thinking if we have to do this move...we are going to try to get a house to rent...as all this moving and it's tiresome. Helen, I don't know how you do it. This next move needs to be long term, to get us through until I am near or done with school. So, we are thinking of looking at places in the town we just moved from. the housing is quite a bit cheaper, schools are still good (the only prob with our last place is we were just inside the other school district that is crappy) and close for Jeremy's ride to work (he lives in that town). If we attempt to rent a house here in this city...it will no doubt be close to $1000 for even a 2 bdrm. In the other town, we could probably get something for around 450. We are hoping this can wait until income tax time, but who knows. My uncle even took my mom to look at another trailer in here for us. He says he will help us make the move, as he feels bad for asking us to move in here and now needing us to move out. It was his offer and I don't know how much help he can provide as money is tight for him, so im not counting on it, just because I don't think he will be able to do much. The offer was kind though! This other trailer is quite old..mom said a late 70s model. I really dont want something that old, bc we will be in same old situation with rotting floors, leaking windows, falling apart everything. it will cost so much in upkeep and maintenance that we will be swallowed up by it. Not to mention, like i said, i want this next move to be long term. I can't see something like that being long term. I also HATE this community. The more i see, from being at the bus stop, even, the more i hate it. I mean, if we have to, we have to. But, please God, don't make me stay in here too long! I don't know if it's in the water, but i surely don't want to become like these people...drinking til drunkenness day and night, drug problems, horrible family dynamics. I may sound like a snob, but this place is truly the epitome of white trash. This is the place you see on an episode of COPS. It looks nice to passers-through, but the inside is what counts, isn't it? Maybe i was spoiled by the last community we lived in. It was quiet, respectful tenants, everyone kept mostly to themselves, minded their own business, life went on. Here, i can't help but feel i have to walk on egg shells. I can go on about it, but i will just sum it up with saying, this place feels like anything but home.

Well, I am going to see if JEremy is still watching a movie in the bedroom. IF he hasn't fallen asleep, I am going to take advantage of this opportunity to snuggle up with him and enjoy a movie, alone, together! Then I have to get everything ready for tomorrow! Back to school, back to work!

Despite the drabness of most of this post, I still feel pretty good. I just know that I have to roll with everything. I am making changes (school) to better our lives and eventually it will pay off. I know that some day we will look back on all this crap and laugh. I hope we laugh til our drinks spray out of our noses..til we pee our pants, til we can't breath! Someday, this will be funny! LOL.