That was Makenneh's question, tonight. Hmmm, food for thought?! Luckily my mom was here to help with that one. We told her that we don't think He needs to eat anything, because in Heaven, everything is perfect and tried to keep it simple. We also talked about the Last Supper. But, really, I am thinking now...there must be food in heaven...all the good food without the calories and fat, right? LOL.
My internet connection is still horrible. Actually, it's worse. I did find out Monday that the school is having issues with their isp, which is probably why I am having problems. I have low speed connection and then get booted all the time. It's horrible. Most sites won't even load before timing out. *sigh*. I have found that using Explorer vs. Mozilla seems to help. Not sure if it's just coincidence or not, though.
Phone line is also full of static. Can't really use it because too damn hard to hear the other person and for them to hear me. I called the phone company today and she said she could put in a repair ticket for me but had to notify me that there is a possibility I would be charged for the visit should the problem be in my lines inside. She had given me two suggestions to try..one was to unplug phone completely for 5 mins to reset the line. Still staticy. The other suggestion was to take a corded phone to the box outside and plug directly into that. If there was still static, that means it is in their lines. Well, i walked out to our meter area, and couldn't find any such box. Of course, i wasn't about to go crazy opening every different box out there. So, I need to send Jeremy out there to do that. I will then call them back to fix it. I may just do that anyway, because i am certain it is in their end. This phone company is notorious for staticy lines. Every time the wind blows, it rains or snows, look out. I grew up with this phone company and it has always been that way. So, im rather frustrated...limited internet and limited phone. Grrrr!
Need some prayers. My dad was laid off Friday. Monday, my mom was heading to town in their car and it died. The motor is bad. They still owe a few thousand dollars on it. Mom was crying. She is so overwhelmed with their financial situation right now. I tried to assure her that everything would work out..it always does. I reminded her that during these times she has to let God carry her. It is so hard for her to give up that control, but sometimes, you have to get through the dark spots. Of course, she has been feeling so darn down lately that she was making comments about how she would rather die. So, to try to help her see the bright side, i couldn't say, "it could have been worse, you could have been hit by another car" bc to her, right now, that wouldn't be worse. Ironically, the night before, she had had a dream. She dreamed she had died and she was looking down....she saw my dad standing in their dining room sobbing. He was so lost and heart broken and didn't know what to do. The irony is, she seems to have this mindset that we don't need her. She has soaked her entire existance into her husband and kids. WE are grown and need her less and it's been hard for her deal with. I remind her all the time that I will always need her. I honestly couldn't even imagine my life without her, to be honest. But, anyway, she is also so sure that my dad wouldn't care or whatever. (major insecurities). That dream seemed so real to her and I told her that maybe that was a message. She had been making the comments about just dying and someone was showing her that what she would leave behind would be a lot of hurt and sorrow. I told her also that while dad had a smile and was joking about the car thing (being lighthearted about it), i said, inside he is probably dying worrying about how he is going to get this taken care of (they now have no vehicle, except the old truck which is a 72 and all kinds of hillbilly rig jobs). I told her that he puts on that facade for her benefit bc he doesn't want her to worry. She needs to realize that just because he seems aloof or unconcerned doesn't mean that he doesn't care. It's a defence mechanism. It's something he does to protect her, as well. So, if anything good came out of the car dying, it was that maybe, my mom is able to see inside my dad's head a bit better and also realize that life sucks sometimes, but you have to just trudge forward. If she would get rid of her negative attitude, it would be a lot better. So, yeah, prayers for them if you could, please! Oh and to add to the whole money mess....my mom was pulling into my uncle's last week and it was icy. She was in the ol' truck and well, slid right into my uncle's roommate's car. It cracked the bumper and did something to the hood. Well, she doesn't want an insurance claim bc that would raise her rates and she is drowning in car ins. hell now. Luckily, my dad does body work on cars and can fix it at cost, no problem. Except, that it's more money out their pocket, with him being laid off. It just seems to be one thing after another.
The home hunting for us is about at a dead end. The fact is, it is going to be next to impossible to find anything for around the same that we are paying now. Too much more than that would ruin us. We struggle now...so higher rent would just kill us. There isn't many expenses we have now that can be cut out. Internet is free and that's really the only "luxury" we have. I called the office where we are at now and she said it would be easiest if i came in to see what all they had. Well, I stopped in there today, after getting Makenneh off the bus and she said that our application had been denied?! Well, teh application they submitted was the one they had us fill out after moving in here, so that they would have record of who was living here. We have it set up that we are just staying here, without paying the lady rent because if we were paying her rent, it is considered subleasing and isn't allowed. So, anyway, they still wanted something on file with us listed as occupants because by law, they have to have that. Well, when i filled out that app, i just listed my name and then put his as an occupent. So, of course, when they ran it, it came up no credit and I have no job. So, that's why it was denied. So, she said i needed to have Jeremy fill out the co-ap part and then they woudl run it. But, now, Im skeptical bout it going through. I just hate rejection. I realize our credit is not the best and so i am always worried about that. I don't understand though why we would be denied for living here, when we were approved at the other place, which is higher lot rent and we were approved for a loan in addition to that, for the balance of the trailer. So, it should be ok. I just worry about it. All i can do is try though. I really don't want to live here, to be honest. I just don't know how to explain any reason behind it, not even sure if there is...i just don't feel "at home" here. My mom suggested we move in with them, get everything straightened out, save up more money and then get a place. It's a great offer. I just don't know if i can handle living there. ANd I know they won't be able to handle us living there. LOL. THe kids will drive them both crazy for sure. LOL. They are used to peace and quiet and order. And my mom's negative outlook drives me to the brink of insanity as it is. I couldn't imagine dealing with it all day every day. Ok, it wouldn't be all day bc we both have places to be and such. But still, it would be far more than i deal with it now. And let's be honest....my sex life would die. I don't think I could consciously have sex in my parents' house. Especially not considering that the room we would stay in is the one right next to their bedroom. I am feeling ill just thinking about it. LOL. The pros though, are that we could save up some money, we could help them out at the same time, car issues would be a bit better (well, idk, really, considering that as of right now, mine is the only one out of the cars, that is running and that's on it's last wheel), babysitting issues might be a bit easier. Cons - no privacy, two families under one roof, different lifestyles (as inmy kids get away with things we never were allowed to and for instance, the bed time issues would be a problem...we were in bed at X time, no ifs ands or buts about it...my kids don't follow a set bed time..things like that). It could be good that perhaps my kids would become more scheduled...But bad in that, my mom thinks these precious angels shouldn't be disciplined and that they should be able to do as they please. IF my dad gets after them, she gives him the evil eye and/or says something along the lines of, "don't say/do that"...blah blah. I have to remind her that if the kids are out of line, they need to be corrected, grandkids or not! LOL. So, i could see it being a point of contention amongst my parents.
I decided that I will just let it lay for a little while and see how I feel then. I am known for making quick decisions that end up disasterous (that's why Im in this spot now). so, for once, i am going to take a little time to mull it over. In the meantime, im praying like no other, that something comes through. A great part of me feels that something will.
The wind is blowing like mad out there. WOW. They weren't joking about high winds. I had to go out there and collect my garbage can and put everything to the back of the porch, bc it's being tossed around like leaves out there. I'm not certian this whole place won't blow away, that's how high the winds are right now. LOL. Crazy weather, i tell ya. Yesterday and today was kinda warm. Ok, 40s. Tomorrow is supposed to be like 16*. That's how this winter has gone...it will get cold, snow, get even colder, then get warmer, rain, snow disappears, then it starts all over again. Snow has pretty much all melted, now it's time for cold and more snow! Hopefully the winds have died down before I have class tomorrow. I don't even want to walk across campus in this stuff! Nor do I want to wait at Makenneh's bus stop. Of course, I am thinking of keeping her home tomorrow. I am undecided. She has a cough..no runny nose, no fever, nothing of the sort..just a cough. Well, I've been sending her to school, bc you can't keep them home every time they cough. Especially not living in MI. Anyway, she said today when she got off the bus that her teacher said she should have stayed home bc she is sick. WTF?! I don't doubt it because when I have been in there on my "volunteer" days, I have heard them say things like that. The one girl had a cough and teacher says, "are you sick?" Of course, the kid says yes. Teacher said, "well when we are sick, we are supposed to stay home." Grrrr. I understand keeping them home with flu (diarhea, vomiting), fever, running nose, coughing up phlegm, etc. But, like I said, if i kept her home for her coughing, she would have been home all damn week. Does the teacher not realize that cough can be associated with things like allergies? Not exactly contagious. LOL. It's very dry in here right now and that is probably more of why she is coughing than anything. So, anyway, im babbling. I kinda think I'll keep her home, bc i don't want her being bullied at school by the teacher for being there iwth a damn cough. But, i don't want her to get in the habit of missing school for everything. I had very poor attendance in school bc i would find every reason to stay home. It is a bad habit and one that is hard to break. I want her to have good attendance habits. I also don't want her missing out on education bc she is home wiht a cough. Heck, when you get bronchitis, for example, my doc has told me that hte cough can persist for up to 4-6 weeks after...can't imagine keeping a child home that damn long. Crazy.
Well, I guess I have caught up with my thoughts for now. Who knows when I will be able to come back to blog..depends on how tempermental my connection wants to be! So, in the meantime, keep warm and take care!
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Saturday, January 26, 2008
My husband rocks!
But he's still on my shit list! LOL. He rocks because he cleaned like mad after he got home from work. He is on my shit list because he didn't go with me to my parents' for dinner. He never likes to go anywhere. He sucks sometimes! Oh well.
So, we're approved for both the park and the loan, however, it would make our payment double what we pay now and that's just not gonna work. We were gonna go with a cheaper home (like, half the price of the one we applied for) and just pay cash, but the damn thing sold today! Doesn't that figure? So, now we are kinda back at square one. I just wanted to bury my head in the sand earlier. I feel a bit better now. I just want to get this whole move thing done and out of the way and over with. I want a place to settle into and call home. OH well, such is life. Brush myself off and go at it all again starting Monday. All I can do.
I filled out my app for next semester's financial aid. I got my SAR today via email. Woohoo. I am hoping i can get a loan soon. It would be a great help, that's for sure. I just can't wait til all this is done and I can move on to bigger, better things in life. But, the bottom line is, these are all choices i have made and I have to deal with them and work through them. Can't go back and change things, just learn from them and do the best we can to move in the right direction.
My dad got laid off today. Please keep them in your thoughts and prayers. One of the guys is going to fight to get my dad back, asap and actually, he won't know for sure if he is laid off until Monday. I mean, they told him he was laid off yesterday but came to him today and said that they were trying to get him back on. So, he is in job purgatory, i call it. The stinky thing is, unemployment is only a portion of what he makes when working and well, it will put them in a tight bind for sure. Especially if the lay off lasts any longer than a few weeks to few months. Of course, my mom is a basket case. She always expects doom and gloom and that's all she sees. I think it's almost impossible for her to see the positive or be optimistic. And it seems, the older she gets, the worse it gets. I am so thankful i get my life outlook from my father. WE just take things in stride. Yeah, i might stress over things, but not for long. IT is what it is. There are some things we have control over,others we don't. The things I can't control are not worth stressing over. I have learned one thing in my life...everything always works out. it does. And I have to sort of chuckle, because I have taken on a more liberal stance in life than my very conservative upbringing. My mom questions my thoughts/ideas/feelings and even worries about my faith sometimes. The truth is, as I told her, I probably have more "faith" than she does. AT least, I certainly trust mine more than she does. I know that God has a purpose for me and that He will also carry me when i can't carry myself. So many times He has. It takes a certain amount of blind faith to see the hard times through. You have to surrender control and hand it over to God.
*********Intermission while I played several songs on Guitar Hero III********************
That's my little guilty pleasure. I am not so good at it, but I love to try. I have finally been able to actually finish songs with 80-90% accuracy. But, boy do my fingers, hands and wrists hurt! I do not know how those ppl can play that for hours on end without being in pain! And I play on easy...couldn't imagine if my poor fingers had to attempt to move any faster than that.
I know I should definitely be in bed. But I am rather enjoying the complete silence that surrounds me. Knowing i can be as loud as i want (well, within reason...Jeremy is sleeping) and not have to worry about waking kids. But, why would I want to be loud and shatter the perfect silence that I am rather enjoying? I wouldn't, so that's why i sit here, quietly. And the area around me is clean, for a change. I love when he cleans. It is such a great feeling to be able to enjoy a clean house without having to be the one to actually clean it. Hmmm, though, i wonder just what it is that he wants? LOL. I'm really teasing, bc it's not uncommon for him to get a wild cleaning hair up his you-know-where and go through and clean like a madman. I don't get in his way when he feels this way. I usually find somewhere to be, usually within a different zip code! I take the kids of course, to facilitate his urge to clean. Wouldn't want any tiny creatures to bring a halt to his efforts, now would we? Sometimes, i stay and help him though. It depends how in depth he is and the mood he is in. Tonight, i already had plans for dinner at my parents, so he was on his own anyway. If he didn't want to clean, he could have gotten his ass ready and went with me! Hmph! LOL. I am really over it now. I was a bit angry (just a little bit, seriously) earlier. But, it's hard to stay angry when I sit here enjoying a clean house.
Well, my eyes are gooping and watering and begging me to remove the contacts and let them rest. I shall listen to them. If i can draw the strength and energy to go take contacts out and go to bed. Hahaha. If that isn't the epitome of laziness right there, i don't know what it.
I hope you all know that I am being somewhat sarcastic, suddenly. Don't know where it all came from, but it's there. I am making myself out to sound like quite the lazy cow. My poor husband has to come home from a long, hard day of work to clean and slave away in the home while I am off playing. Really, it's not as it sounds, I promise. And I have had to put in a good bit of work to get him to this point. It hasn't been easy, I'll tell ya. I started out with simple reprimands, but then those were working, so we moved to a pretty pink leather whip thing....well, turns out he enjoyed that. Next step was the cattle prod. That'll get anyone moving, trust me! So, he has learned to just do what will make me happy because, "A happy wife equals a happy life." Hahahhahaha! Joking. I don't brow beat him into doing much of anything. He is quite a stubborn mule, truth be told. Sometimes he is too stubborn for his own darn good.
Yeah, it's way past my bed time. I am spewing off some crazy talk. I kinda find it rather amusing though.
Oh and before I forget (bc i do forget a lot), Leigh Ann, the reason I had a home visit through the school is because Makenneh is in HeadStart and they require 2 of them per year. I am not exactly sure as to the reasoning behind it, but that's the deal. Most likely, it could be because HS deals with families with low income or children with need. so, they probably figure they should come out, check the place out, make sure the home has electricity and running water and all that. No, really,i have no idea. i would like to think that there is some legit region why they do things this way.
OK, eyes are going crossed and drool is about to start a-coming~!
Good Night all!
So, we're approved for both the park and the loan, however, it would make our payment double what we pay now and that's just not gonna work. We were gonna go with a cheaper home (like, half the price of the one we applied for) and just pay cash, but the damn thing sold today! Doesn't that figure? So, now we are kinda back at square one. I just wanted to bury my head in the sand earlier. I feel a bit better now. I just want to get this whole move thing done and out of the way and over with. I want a place to settle into and call home. OH well, such is life. Brush myself off and go at it all again starting Monday. All I can do.
I filled out my app for next semester's financial aid. I got my SAR today via email. Woohoo. I am hoping i can get a loan soon. It would be a great help, that's for sure. I just can't wait til all this is done and I can move on to bigger, better things in life. But, the bottom line is, these are all choices i have made and I have to deal with them and work through them. Can't go back and change things, just learn from them and do the best we can to move in the right direction.
My dad got laid off today. Please keep them in your thoughts and prayers. One of the guys is going to fight to get my dad back, asap and actually, he won't know for sure if he is laid off until Monday. I mean, they told him he was laid off yesterday but came to him today and said that they were trying to get him back on. So, he is in job purgatory, i call it. The stinky thing is, unemployment is only a portion of what he makes when working and well, it will put them in a tight bind for sure. Especially if the lay off lasts any longer than a few weeks to few months. Of course, my mom is a basket case. She always expects doom and gloom and that's all she sees. I think it's almost impossible for her to see the positive or be optimistic. And it seems, the older she gets, the worse it gets. I am so thankful i get my life outlook from my father. WE just take things in stride. Yeah, i might stress over things, but not for long. IT is what it is. There are some things we have control over,others we don't. The things I can't control are not worth stressing over. I have learned one thing in my life...everything always works out. it does. And I have to sort of chuckle, because I have taken on a more liberal stance in life than my very conservative upbringing. My mom questions my thoughts/ideas/feelings and even worries about my faith sometimes. The truth is, as I told her, I probably have more "faith" than she does. AT least, I certainly trust mine more than she does. I know that God has a purpose for me and that He will also carry me when i can't carry myself. So many times He has. It takes a certain amount of blind faith to see the hard times through. You have to surrender control and hand it over to God.
*********Intermission while I played several songs on Guitar Hero III********************
That's my little guilty pleasure. I am not so good at it, but I love to try. I have finally been able to actually finish songs with 80-90% accuracy. But, boy do my fingers, hands and wrists hurt! I do not know how those ppl can play that for hours on end without being in pain! And I play on easy...couldn't imagine if my poor fingers had to attempt to move any faster than that.
I know I should definitely be in bed. But I am rather enjoying the complete silence that surrounds me. Knowing i can be as loud as i want (well, within reason...Jeremy is sleeping) and not have to worry about waking kids. But, why would I want to be loud and shatter the perfect silence that I am rather enjoying? I wouldn't, so that's why i sit here, quietly. And the area around me is clean, for a change. I love when he cleans. It is such a great feeling to be able to enjoy a clean house without having to be the one to actually clean it. Hmmm, though, i wonder just what it is that he wants? LOL. I'm really teasing, bc it's not uncommon for him to get a wild cleaning hair up his you-know-where and go through and clean like a madman. I don't get in his way when he feels this way. I usually find somewhere to be, usually within a different zip code! I take the kids of course, to facilitate his urge to clean. Wouldn't want any tiny creatures to bring a halt to his efforts, now would we? Sometimes, i stay and help him though. It depends how in depth he is and the mood he is in. Tonight, i already had plans for dinner at my parents, so he was on his own anyway. If he didn't want to clean, he could have gotten his ass ready and went with me! Hmph! LOL. I am really over it now. I was a bit angry (just a little bit, seriously) earlier. But, it's hard to stay angry when I sit here enjoying a clean house.
Well, my eyes are gooping and watering and begging me to remove the contacts and let them rest. I shall listen to them. If i can draw the strength and energy to go take contacts out and go to bed. Hahaha. If that isn't the epitome of laziness right there, i don't know what it.
I hope you all know that I am being somewhat sarcastic, suddenly. Don't know where it all came from, but it's there. I am making myself out to sound like quite the lazy cow. My poor husband has to come home from a long, hard day of work to clean and slave away in the home while I am off playing. Really, it's not as it sounds, I promise. And I have had to put in a good bit of work to get him to this point. It hasn't been easy, I'll tell ya. I started out with simple reprimands, but then those were working, so we moved to a pretty pink leather whip thing....well, turns out he enjoyed that. Next step was the cattle prod. That'll get anyone moving, trust me! So, he has learned to just do what will make me happy because, "A happy wife equals a happy life." Hahahhahaha! Joking. I don't brow beat him into doing much of anything. He is quite a stubborn mule, truth be told. Sometimes he is too stubborn for his own darn good.
Yeah, it's way past my bed time. I am spewing off some crazy talk. I kinda find it rather amusing though.
Oh and before I forget (bc i do forget a lot), Leigh Ann, the reason I had a home visit through the school is because Makenneh is in HeadStart and they require 2 of them per year. I am not exactly sure as to the reasoning behind it, but that's the deal. Most likely, it could be because HS deals with families with low income or children with need. so, they probably figure they should come out, check the place out, make sure the home has electricity and running water and all that. No, really,i have no idea. i would like to think that there is some legit region why they do things this way.
OK, eyes are going crossed and drool is about to start a-coming~!
Good Night all!
Monday, January 21, 2008
Misc.
I have several things on my mind this morning...well some have been on my mind, but this is the first time I have sat to type. The first thing, which totally appalls me, is the fact that my uncle FORCED his two teenage daughters to get baptized a few weeks ago. I had known the girls were baptized, but i didn't think much of it, despite the fact that until very recently, they hadn't even been going to church or anything. Well, the girls told me this weekend that their dad forced them and the younger one (12) said she was very scared. Ok, scared is a normal feeling, I think, when dealing with baptism, but the fact that it was forced makes my stomach twist and turn into knots. Something as intimate and personal as baptism, in our faith, should be decided willingly by the person being baptized. Otherwise, what good does it really do? Not to mention, I am so afraid that him forcing religion so spitefully onto these teens (16 and 12) is just going to turn the away from the religion. Both girls talk very negatively about the whole God/religion right now and it breaks my heart. God isn't the problem. It's their father. The dumb ass. Ugh, i can't say how freakin upset this makes me. The main reason he is suddenly wanting them in church, forcing baptism, etc, is bc he thinks that by taking (errrr, forcing them) to church, the oldest one won't be gay anymore. Well, I don't think that is a good enough reason. The truth is, she is going to be who she is and fortunately, God still loves her, whether her own dad does or not. It would be wonderful if all this church going would speak to his heart. Grrrr. And while we are on the same subject of *him* I will add my second vent. As I posted the other night, my sister had the opportunity to sing on stage with a local band. So, a bunch of us went out to support her. I needed the girls (cousins mentioned above; yes, folks, I let my gay cousin babysit my kids, i know, *gasp*...grrrr) to babysit, so i asked my aunt and uncle if they wanted to come. I figured he would not otherwise let the girls babysit, bc he likes to keep them on a short leash. Well, they don't have money, so we said we would buy them some drinks. (We got our income taxes back, otherwise, wouldn't have been able to do that). Anyway, we all go. He has slipped back into his old alcoholic self, so it would seem. (And despite all those Sundays in the pews). My brother, Matt and his gf, Sara, some of Sara's friends, Carrie's friends, some cousins, my parents, me and Jeremy, aunt and uncle, all went. Well, at some point, later in the night, Uncle decides that while dancing on the dance floor, he would cop a feel on one of Sara's friends. Mind you, this girl (I say girl, she is in her 20s) is pregnant and taken (she is with one my brother's friends). Well, my brother found out that Uncle was feeling up this girl's leg and whoa, let's just say the shit about hit the fan. The only saving grace was my dad being there and talking to Matt that he (uncle) isn't worth going to jail for. But, this isn't the first time that uncle has done this kind of shit. Every damn time he drinks, he gets too friendly. Well, i can't say every time. He dried up for awhile and wasn't drinking and then he started drinking very casually and was fine for that time...he wasn't feeling up on all the females, starting fights, etc. But, last night proved that he is back to his old self again, which means, we will not be inviting him anywhere where there is alcohol. I am so disgusted by him. It's bad enough to feel up on someone, but it's worse when that person is freaking pregnant. it makes *me* feel dirty and gross. I can't imagine how violated she must've felt. I wish she would've made a scene by smacking his across his face. But, i think she didn't know how to react bc he was with our group. Like she prob thought she didn't want to cause any problems. But, that wouldn't have upset any of us. When a man touches a woman inappropriately, he best expect to get smacked. So, yeah, he is just on the very top of my *shit list* right now. *SPIT*
I went to walmart last night and got myself a new outfit and new shoes. You know those silly flats that everyone is wearing right now? Yeah, i got a pair. they are only 7.50 and I am trendy for probably the first time in my life. LOL. I also got the kids a set of hat and gloves and I had to get kenneh these one boots. They are brown suede, look much like cowboy boots but girly. They were clearance for 11.00. I wasn't going to get them, but being that they were marked down, well i had to. *I just gave the kids their stuff and Makenneh loves the boots. She wants to wake her cousins up right now to show them!*
Last night, before the trip to Walmart, I got in the shower. Seems odd to mention just a normal activity, right? Except that, when i went to step out of hte shower, my foot slipped and weeeee, i landed right on my ass. As I was going down, i grabbed hold of the towel bar and thankfully it broke my fall or rather, slowed it down. So, i sorta fell in slow motion, yelling out for Jeremy as I was going down. He came running. At first, nothing seemed to hurt. He helped me up and I realized that my toe was bleeding. Somehow, I managed to slice my big toe, all down the side. The side that rubs against my 2nd toe...so yes, it hurts, bad. This morning, my body aches.
Makenneh and I have no school today, in honor of Martin Luther King day. My plan for the day is to go look at homes and have it narrowed down to a few. When Jeremy gets home tonight, we will go back and make a decision and hopefully move soon! I should be utilizing the help I have here, by packing some things up. I just haven't been in the mood to do it. I guess it's just so overwhelming!
Well, I am gonna get off here and finish my rounds...then get ready for the day! Happy Monday!
I went to walmart last night and got myself a new outfit and new shoes. You know those silly flats that everyone is wearing right now? Yeah, i got a pair. they are only 7.50 and I am trendy for probably the first time in my life. LOL. I also got the kids a set of hat and gloves and I had to get kenneh these one boots. They are brown suede, look much like cowboy boots but girly. They were clearance for 11.00. I wasn't going to get them, but being that they were marked down, well i had to. *I just gave the kids their stuff and Makenneh loves the boots. She wants to wake her cousins up right now to show them!*
Last night, before the trip to Walmart, I got in the shower. Seems odd to mention just a normal activity, right? Except that, when i went to step out of hte shower, my foot slipped and weeeee, i landed right on my ass. As I was going down, i grabbed hold of the towel bar and thankfully it broke my fall or rather, slowed it down. So, i sorta fell in slow motion, yelling out for Jeremy as I was going down. He came running. At first, nothing seemed to hurt. He helped me up and I realized that my toe was bleeding. Somehow, I managed to slice my big toe, all down the side. The side that rubs against my 2nd toe...so yes, it hurts, bad. This morning, my body aches.
Makenneh and I have no school today, in honor of Martin Luther King day. My plan for the day is to go look at homes and have it narrowed down to a few. When Jeremy gets home tonight, we will go back and make a decision and hopefully move soon! I should be utilizing the help I have here, by packing some things up. I just haven't been in the mood to do it. I guess it's just so overwhelming!
Well, I am gonna get off here and finish my rounds...then get ready for the day! Happy Monday!
Saturday, January 19, 2008
Only have a minute
I haven't really been online much in the last few days. But, I wanted to post real quick. My sister got another opportunity to sing with a local band on stage! It's her favorite band and she even received guitar lessons from one of the members. Now, this will be her second time on stage, singing with them. We have rallied up quite a bunch to come out and support her. She loves her music and dreams of singing on stage (beyond her regular karaoke). This is like a dream come true to her. I am so proud of her! We are going out to show our support tonight. So, it's a double winner for us..a night and getting to see my sis perform live on stage. Granted, it's at a local bar, but everyone has to start somewhere. Some day we just might see her name in lights. Although, to be honest, I don't think she has intentions or desires to be Nashville big or anything..she just thoroughly enjoys singing and wants to make that a part of her life....sharing her music.
And school for me? Let me puke. I sat in my Psych class (did i post this already? i swear im losing my mind) ready to break. I was soooo nervous about this class. It is going to be a real college course, for sure. None of that slackin off and pulling a 4.0 for this class, im sure. WE have a huge Scientific Methods research project that if we don't pass with a 2.0 or better, we can't even pass the class,period. Wow, talk about a lot of pressure. I was really freakin out as I sat there thurs. As the night went on, I relaxed a bit, because I see that the teacher is really willing to work with us and she is going to take us step by step through this process. So, i think it will be ok. Still a lot of work, but doable. She said right in class, and has it written in her syllabus, that this course does require 3-9 hours of homework/studying, aside from the time spent in class. IN fact, the actual idea is that for every 3 credit course, you should plan to spend 3-9 hrs outside of class. Yikes. Start doing the math on that. I have 4 3 credit classes. Multiply that by 3-9 hrs each. Let's take 6 hours as a medium. 4X6=24 hrs. Thats on top of the 12 hrs or so spent in the classroom. That's a full time job. Add to that having a husband and 2 kids and all I have to say is that any young kids reading this need to take this into consideration. Do college while you are young and have far less responsibility. It is so much easier. I will admit that i feel some anxiety about it all. I know i can do it and i just have to take it one day, one class at a time. I just can't help but stepping back and glancing at the whole picture. Of course, it's when i do this that I feel the most anxiety.
Anyway, i said i had a minute and well, ive used several. Time to go check my pants to see if they are dry.
And school for me? Let me puke. I sat in my Psych class (did i post this already? i swear im losing my mind) ready to break. I was soooo nervous about this class. It is going to be a real college course, for sure. None of that slackin off and pulling a 4.0 for this class, im sure. WE have a huge Scientific Methods research project that if we don't pass with a 2.0 or better, we can't even pass the class,period. Wow, talk about a lot of pressure. I was really freakin out as I sat there thurs. As the night went on, I relaxed a bit, because I see that the teacher is really willing to work with us and she is going to take us step by step through this process. So, i think it will be ok. Still a lot of work, but doable. She said right in class, and has it written in her syllabus, that this course does require 3-9 hours of homework/studying, aside from the time spent in class. IN fact, the actual idea is that for every 3 credit course, you should plan to spend 3-9 hrs outside of class. Yikes. Start doing the math on that. I have 4 3 credit classes. Multiply that by 3-9 hrs each. Let's take 6 hours as a medium. 4X6=24 hrs. Thats on top of the 12 hrs or so spent in the classroom. That's a full time job. Add to that having a husband and 2 kids and all I have to say is that any young kids reading this need to take this into consideration. Do college while you are young and have far less responsibility. It is so much easier. I will admit that i feel some anxiety about it all. I know i can do it and i just have to take it one day, one class at a time. I just can't help but stepping back and glancing at the whole picture. Of course, it's when i do this that I feel the most anxiety.
Anyway, i said i had a minute and well, ive used several. Time to go check my pants to see if they are dry.
Thursday, January 17, 2008
This old dinosaur
Yeah, I'm talking about my computer. The thing is about 4.5 yrs old and was built by my brother-in-law, using mostly parts he already had available...not new ones. So, who knows how old it really is. Anyway, it is showing its age for sure. Everything goes so darn slow (though not nearly as slow as my mom's 10 yr old pc..how that thing still boots up is beyond me).
Anyway, I have 3 classes down and one to go...well for first days that is. Tonight was my social programs class. It's actually part of the social work technician program offered at the college. I took it as an elective more or less, bc i needed one more class to make me full time. It seems like it is going to be a very fun class. Definitely laid back and interactive. And the best part? The major projects involve culture....ring a bell from last semester? I was like, Humph, i have this one in the bag! LOL. Of course, I am not guaranteed to be able to pick my own topic (not sure how she will go about assigning the project), but if i get my choice, you better bet, I'm picking English culture...work mostly done. Well, ok, I honestly am not sure I saved all that work, but I do have the notes and such and besides, it won't be hard to recall most of it. But, even if i have a different culture, I will know the basics bc I had to listen to the presentations of fellow classmates last semester. In fact, the more I think about it, the more I think that perhaps, I would choose another topic if given the chance, just so i could learn more about yet another culture. Hmmmm. Anyway, the class is fun and I will certainly look forward to it every Wednesday night.
Tomorrow is General Psychology. I am hesitant about this class, simply bc i took it (partly) before and it's not the "fun" stuff but rather the guts (eeer, brains) of Psychology. It deals a lot with the chemicals and functioning of the brain and why and how things can go awry.
I don't know if i have mentioned this, but there has been somewhat of a monkey-wrench thrown into my goals for a career. I will sort through the ideas here...bc well, where else would I do such thing? You can all be tortured along with me.
My heart was (and really still is) set on becoming a counselor. It has really been a deep seeded ambition of mine. One I kept locked up tightly for fear of all the years of school it would require. Humph..what was i thinking? Anyway...the first time I spoke with a counselor at the college, to sign up for my first semester this time around, I was leaning towards social work. Why? Bc it was a 2 yr tech program and hey, let's face it.. i didn't want to be in school forever. You may recall my conversation with dear Keith. He told me about his experience in social work, the high stress, the disappointment with not being able to "really" help beyond tossing some benefits their way that are governed by the bureaucrats. Ok, that wasn't his words verbatim or anything, but ya get the gist. So, in talking with Keith, I decided to go for the long haul and truly pursue that hidden dream. I was going to become an LPC. Besides, how cool would it be for this simpleton to have freakin letters following her name? I mean, never in one million years had i ever thought that possible! Christina Lastname, LPC. Ha. I like it. Ok, I love it. So, i sign up for financial aid and then for classes and voila. My heart is in heaven because I feel so damn empowered, nothing will stop me, no nothing at all. Except, a second meeting with a different college counselor (who also happened to be one of my instructors). He is also an LPC. He said that it's a tough field right now because insurance companies have put a cap/limitations on what they will pay out for counseling benefits. And think about it...if you want to go to counseling (or if you are going), what does your insurance allow? I know my mom's only pays a percentage, leaving her with an $80 copay PER visit. Yes, that's eighty dollars PER visit. So, she, like many people, doesn't go because she can't afford to shell that out weekly or bi-weekly. Other insurances will only pay for so many visits per year. Therefore, those patients only go that number of times. The only hope is that you get quite a few well off, cash payin clients that can keep your business afloat. To make matters worse, as I was driving to our utility company's office last month, I passed the clinic i used to go to for counseling...it had several counselors all under one roof. Guess what? It's closed up. For sale sign out there! Hmmm...a little sign? He had suggested getting a degree in teaching with a minor in Psych. I could teach and work my way towards my masters. I would only need the minor in psych to get into the LPC masters program. Ok, sounds kinda good..gives me a fall back plan if nothing else. He also said i could be a school counselor. The problem with all this is, I am not the person to be stuck in a small room with a bunch of kids every day. I just don't see myself surviving it. kids today are rowdy, rambunctious, arrogant, disrespectful and have that entitlement attitude. I would want to choke them, I'm sure. And I want to be a counselor, but not really in a school setting. I would mostly deal with the whole school drama stuff....Tommy called me a whore and it hurt my feelings. Yes, it is traumatic and needs to be addressed. Let me get my damn soap and wash Tommy's mouth out and hasn't his parents bothered to teach him that that is NOT how we treat fellow human beings? Grrrr....i would feel like i was spinning my wheels. So, I am not sure. SIGH. I want to be a counselor. I do not want to go to school for 6 yrs, intern for 1 or 2 *which costs me btw, bc i have to pay my LPC for his/her time* just to come to a dead end and not be making a decent salary. Face it, that's a long time of schooling to make 20-30k. At the same time...my heart is being tugged. I could do so many beneficial things with that degree. However, not if i don't have a pot to piss in nor the window to throw it out of myself. I can't help others if i am still unable to help myself, right?
I need to get an appointment with the career center at college and hash all this out. I want so badly to do the LPC thing. See, that's why i don't set goals much or get hopes high...bc the rug usually gets pulled out from under me. Oooh, that's the pessimist in me sneaking out. *smack* hit* get back in there, damn it* Nobody wants to hear from you*
And social work....i don't want to spend my days chasing child abuse cases. It would be so entirely sad and heart wrenching. I would want to shoot myself. I would really see how hateful and evil this world is. I just don't know if i could emotionally stand it. I am thankful that people can do it because children certainly need those voices. But, I am not sure I could deal with it. The worst part would be, knowing in my gut that things weren't right but not being able to do a damn thing about it bc of the effin red tape surrounding those things. That would infuriate me.
I'm chasing rabbits tonight bc i have another thought. I also considered going for the LPC and then I could set up some sort of foundation or something that helps people in need. Like, for instance, why can't I open a counseling center that charges 50.00/hr instead of the typical 75-145/hr? Im sure that there are some sort of bureaucratic measures that says I can't do that bc it would be undercutting the next guy. Humph. Maybe the next guy shouldn't be charging a damn arm and a leg for his services then, eh?
Anyway, those are some of my twisted thoughts on the whole thing. I guess the main point is I am in school and going somewhere, even if I don't know where that is, just yet.
And before I go, tonight (I hope Julie doesn't mind me posting this)...please send up prayers for Julie's mom and their family. If you read her blog, then you know that her mom went for a scan to see why her memory is failing her. Please pray that everything turns out for the best. I know that the family is very concerned about Mom right now and they could use the prayers/positive thoughts/vibes, whatever it is that you do.
Good night, world and may everyone awaken to a beautiful new day~!
Anyway, I have 3 classes down and one to go...well for first days that is. Tonight was my social programs class. It's actually part of the social work technician program offered at the college. I took it as an elective more or less, bc i needed one more class to make me full time. It seems like it is going to be a very fun class. Definitely laid back and interactive. And the best part? The major projects involve culture....ring a bell from last semester? I was like, Humph, i have this one in the bag! LOL. Of course, I am not guaranteed to be able to pick my own topic (not sure how she will go about assigning the project), but if i get my choice, you better bet, I'm picking English culture...work mostly done. Well, ok, I honestly am not sure I saved all that work, but I do have the notes and such and besides, it won't be hard to recall most of it. But, even if i have a different culture, I will know the basics bc I had to listen to the presentations of fellow classmates last semester. In fact, the more I think about it, the more I think that perhaps, I would choose another topic if given the chance, just so i could learn more about yet another culture. Hmmmm. Anyway, the class is fun and I will certainly look forward to it every Wednesday night.
Tomorrow is General Psychology. I am hesitant about this class, simply bc i took it (partly) before and it's not the "fun" stuff but rather the guts (eeer, brains) of Psychology. It deals a lot with the chemicals and functioning of the brain and why and how things can go awry.
I don't know if i have mentioned this, but there has been somewhat of a monkey-wrench thrown into my goals for a career. I will sort through the ideas here...bc well, where else would I do such thing? You can all be tortured along with me.
My heart was (and really still is) set on becoming a counselor. It has really been a deep seeded ambition of mine. One I kept locked up tightly for fear of all the years of school it would require. Humph..what was i thinking? Anyway...the first time I spoke with a counselor at the college, to sign up for my first semester this time around, I was leaning towards social work. Why? Bc it was a 2 yr tech program and hey, let's face it.. i didn't want to be in school forever. You may recall my conversation with dear Keith. He told me about his experience in social work, the high stress, the disappointment with not being able to "really" help beyond tossing some benefits their way that are governed by the bureaucrats. Ok, that wasn't his words verbatim or anything, but ya get the gist. So, in talking with Keith, I decided to go for the long haul and truly pursue that hidden dream. I was going to become an LPC. Besides, how cool would it be for this simpleton to have freakin letters following her name? I mean, never in one million years had i ever thought that possible! Christina Lastname, LPC. Ha. I like it. Ok, I love it. So, i sign up for financial aid and then for classes and voila. My heart is in heaven because I feel so damn empowered, nothing will stop me, no nothing at all. Except, a second meeting with a different college counselor (who also happened to be one of my instructors). He is also an LPC. He said that it's a tough field right now because insurance companies have put a cap/limitations on what they will pay out for counseling benefits. And think about it...if you want to go to counseling (or if you are going), what does your insurance allow? I know my mom's only pays a percentage, leaving her with an $80 copay PER visit. Yes, that's eighty dollars PER visit. So, she, like many people, doesn't go because she can't afford to shell that out weekly or bi-weekly. Other insurances will only pay for so many visits per year. Therefore, those patients only go that number of times. The only hope is that you get quite a few well off, cash payin clients that can keep your business afloat. To make matters worse, as I was driving to our utility company's office last month, I passed the clinic i used to go to for counseling...it had several counselors all under one roof. Guess what? It's closed up. For sale sign out there! Hmmm...a little sign? He had suggested getting a degree in teaching with a minor in Psych. I could teach and work my way towards my masters. I would only need the minor in psych to get into the LPC masters program. Ok, sounds kinda good..gives me a fall back plan if nothing else. He also said i could be a school counselor. The problem with all this is, I am not the person to be stuck in a small room with a bunch of kids every day. I just don't see myself surviving it. kids today are rowdy, rambunctious, arrogant, disrespectful and have that entitlement attitude. I would want to choke them, I'm sure. And I want to be a counselor, but not really in a school setting. I would mostly deal with the whole school drama stuff....Tommy called me a whore and it hurt my feelings. Yes, it is traumatic and needs to be addressed. Let me get my damn soap and wash Tommy's mouth out and hasn't his parents bothered to teach him that that is NOT how we treat fellow human beings? Grrrr....i would feel like i was spinning my wheels. So, I am not sure. SIGH. I want to be a counselor. I do not want to go to school for 6 yrs, intern for 1 or 2 *which costs me btw, bc i have to pay my LPC for his/her time* just to come to a dead end and not be making a decent salary. Face it, that's a long time of schooling to make 20-30k. At the same time...my heart is being tugged. I could do so many beneficial things with that degree. However, not if i don't have a pot to piss in nor the window to throw it out of myself. I can't help others if i am still unable to help myself, right?
I need to get an appointment with the career center at college and hash all this out. I want so badly to do the LPC thing. See, that's why i don't set goals much or get hopes high...bc the rug usually gets pulled out from under me. Oooh, that's the pessimist in me sneaking out. *smack* hit* get back in there, damn it* Nobody wants to hear from you*
And social work....i don't want to spend my days chasing child abuse cases. It would be so entirely sad and heart wrenching. I would want to shoot myself. I would really see how hateful and evil this world is. I just don't know if i could emotionally stand it. I am thankful that people can do it because children certainly need those voices. But, I am not sure I could deal with it. The worst part would be, knowing in my gut that things weren't right but not being able to do a damn thing about it bc of the effin red tape surrounding those things. That would infuriate me.
I'm chasing rabbits tonight bc i have another thought. I also considered going for the LPC and then I could set up some sort of foundation or something that helps people in need. Like, for instance, why can't I open a counseling center that charges 50.00/hr instead of the typical 75-145/hr? Im sure that there are some sort of bureaucratic measures that says I can't do that bc it would be undercutting the next guy. Humph. Maybe the next guy shouldn't be charging a damn arm and a leg for his services then, eh?
Anyway, those are some of my twisted thoughts on the whole thing. I guess the main point is I am in school and going somewhere, even if I don't know where that is, just yet.
And before I go, tonight (I hope Julie doesn't mind me posting this)...please send up prayers for Julie's mom and their family. If you read her blog, then you know that her mom went for a scan to see why her memory is failing her. Please pray that everything turns out for the best. I know that the family is very concerned about Mom right now and they could use the prayers/positive thoughts/vibes, whatever it is that you do.
Good night, world and may everyone awaken to a beautiful new day~!
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
I survived
The first day of classes wasn't too bad. The parking sucks at main campus as I have complained (errr, whined) about before. And this building is much larger and more maze-like than the building I had to go to last semester. But, I found my class, waiting patiently in the hall with my classmates, for the teacher to arrive and unlock the door. This was something new to me, as last semester, the doors were always left unlocked and we just entered. Anyway, the classroom itself sucks. It is small, cramped and stuffy. Bleh! The desks are tiny..our book covers pretty much the whole thing. But, the instructor seems very nice and organized.
My evening class, Philosophy of Ethics...the jury is still out on that one. It's going to be a lot of lecture...tail chasing, unanswered questions..that seems to be what Philosophy is. He spent almost the entire class time (2 hours) chasing a subject round and round, yet getting really nowhere. I had to fight to stay awake. This may be a long semester. LOL.
I have tomorrow (or rather, today, it is well past midnight) off. No classes. I am still up bc i am submerged in this good book i started reading yesterday. My cousin brought it over for me, bc i like to read. It's Street Lawyer by John Grisham. I have to admit that this his first book I have read and I rather like it. OK, i love it. I have barely been able to put it down. I started it last night and read to chapt 18. I picked it up again tonight and am at 36.
I am off now so i can bury my nose back in my book!!!!
My evening class, Philosophy of Ethics...the jury is still out on that one. It's going to be a lot of lecture...tail chasing, unanswered questions..that seems to be what Philosophy is. He spent almost the entire class time (2 hours) chasing a subject round and round, yet getting really nowhere. I had to fight to stay awake. This may be a long semester. LOL.
I have tomorrow (or rather, today, it is well past midnight) off. No classes. I am still up bc i am submerged in this good book i started reading yesterday. My cousin brought it over for me, bc i like to read. It's Street Lawyer by John Grisham. I have to admit that this his first book I have read and I rather like it. OK, i love it. I have barely been able to put it down. I started it last night and read to chapt 18. I picked it up again tonight and am at 36.
I am off now so i can bury my nose back in my book!!!!
Monday, January 14, 2008
I'd be lying...
If i said I wasn't a tad bit nervous about tomorrow or actually, this whole week. I'm sure it's something I will experience at the beginning of each new semester....new instructors, new students, new class, new material, etc. The class on campus is more intimidating in that the campus is sooo big and spread out and parking sucks and then finding a parking spot, finding the right building (which i know which building) and then which classroom....oooghhhh.
Then, I keep thinking of all the things I have to make sure I do and what if we wake up late or what if i forget something or or or.... I. must. stop. I have my bag packed with the text book I need, a notebook and a folder...as well as writing instruments (pencils, pens). I should be good to go. It's silly bc i did this last semester and did just fine. But I am worried about getting her on the bus with ease, getting Seb to sitter and getting to class. Duh..i just did all that without much of a problem. Chalk it up to jitters. After I get this first week under my belt, I am sure I will be fine.
I am off now to finish doing whatever I can tonight to make tomorrow run smoother (including the fact that I already have dinner in the crockpot).
Then, I keep thinking of all the things I have to make sure I do and what if we wake up late or what if i forget something or or or.... I. must. stop. I have my bag packed with the text book I need, a notebook and a folder...as well as writing instruments (pencils, pens). I should be good to go. It's silly bc i did this last semester and did just fine. But I am worried about getting her on the bus with ease, getting Seb to sitter and getting to class. Duh..i just did all that without much of a problem. Chalk it up to jitters. After I get this first week under my belt, I am sure I will be fine.
I am off now to finish doing whatever I can tonight to make tomorrow run smoother (including the fact that I already have dinner in the crockpot).
Sunday, January 13, 2008
The time has arrived
Tomorrow, I start my 2nd semester back to college. My first class is Fundamentals of Human Sexuality. I have that class on monday and wednesday from 1-230pm. Then on Monday night, I have Ethics, Wed night I have Pragrams of Community Welfare and Thur night I have Gen Psych.
Today I have been catching up on laundry and getting ready for the new schedule. WE have all gotten quite used to me being home all day/night. ANd even though i was home so much, this place sure has gone to hell in a handbasket. LOL. And I intended to use this past week to get it back in some kind of order...with Makenneh in school and only have one kid for a few hours...however, i found myself running errands and such more than being home and cleaning and whatnot. Oh well. I have enjoyed my time off and I am certainly ready to get back to school. I think i am more effective when I have a schedule to work around. Seems I waste less time that way bc I have to make all my time count! OF course, I am a tad bit concerned bc Jeremy's job is going to be offering overtime, which we greatly need. However, if he isn't home by 530pm, I have to find alternative babysitting arrangements, which might get tricky. But, we will make it work. I have enough family within a reasonable distance to make it possible.
There seems to be a stomach bug going around here. Yesterday Makenneh was complaining that her tummy hurt and she was in the bathroom more than normal. Today, Jeremy doesn't feel good and has had the bathroom problem. He is taking a nap right now, which is very unusual for him. Hopefully he feels better come morning. HE did help clean the house earlier today, though. That was a big help.
Well, kids are hungry bc without that rigid schedule, the eating times have been sooo off. I will be so glad when i can get it back to where we are eating at regular/stable times every day.
Enjoy your Sunday!
Today I have been catching up on laundry and getting ready for the new schedule. WE have all gotten quite used to me being home all day/night. ANd even though i was home so much, this place sure has gone to hell in a handbasket. LOL. And I intended to use this past week to get it back in some kind of order...with Makenneh in school and only have one kid for a few hours...however, i found myself running errands and such more than being home and cleaning and whatnot. Oh well. I have enjoyed my time off and I am certainly ready to get back to school. I think i am more effective when I have a schedule to work around. Seems I waste less time that way bc I have to make all my time count! OF course, I am a tad bit concerned bc Jeremy's job is going to be offering overtime, which we greatly need. However, if he isn't home by 530pm, I have to find alternative babysitting arrangements, which might get tricky. But, we will make it work. I have enough family within a reasonable distance to make it possible.
There seems to be a stomach bug going around here. Yesterday Makenneh was complaining that her tummy hurt and she was in the bathroom more than normal. Today, Jeremy doesn't feel good and has had the bathroom problem. He is taking a nap right now, which is very unusual for him. Hopefully he feels better come morning. HE did help clean the house earlier today, though. That was a big help.
Well, kids are hungry bc without that rigid schedule, the eating times have been sooo off. I will be so glad when i can get it back to where we are eating at regular/stable times every day.
Enjoy your Sunday!
Monday, January 07, 2008
Thunderstorms in January, ETA
Edited bc Julie caught that i put December and not January. LOL.
How amazing. LOL. I love them, so I won't complain. It is so peaceful to hear the rain falling accompanied by the occasional rumble and flash of lightning. Makenneh obviously isn't finding it as peaceful and sleep-lulling bc she is still up, fighting sleep. She keeps talking, moving, etc. I am losing my patience quickly with her. It is 11pm and well, Mrs Nice flew out the window a good hour ago. I was so sure she was asleep around 930...she had brushed her teeth and everything and went in her room and it was quiet. I was thinking how nice it was that both kids were sleeping..then out she comes, "mommy can I sleep out here?" Grrrr. She hasn't shut her mouth since, nor sat still. So, i am off here to enforce bedtime. I am sick of kids up late. I need time to myself and damn if time alone with my husband wouldn't be nice!
****She finally gave in a bit before midnight....grrrr
How amazing. LOL. I love them, so I won't complain. It is so peaceful to hear the rain falling accompanied by the occasional rumble and flash of lightning. Makenneh obviously isn't finding it as peaceful and sleep-lulling bc she is still up, fighting sleep. She keeps talking, moving, etc. I am losing my patience quickly with her. It is 11pm and well, Mrs Nice flew out the window a good hour ago. I was so sure she was asleep around 930...she had brushed her teeth and everything and went in her room and it was quiet. I was thinking how nice it was that both kids were sleeping..then out she comes, "mommy can I sleep out here?" Grrrr. She hasn't shut her mouth since, nor sat still. So, i am off here to enforce bedtime. I am sick of kids up late. I need time to myself and damn if time alone with my husband wouldn't be nice!
****She finally gave in a bit before midnight....grrrr
She's off
Just got back from putting Makenneh on the bus. It's her first day back since before Christmas. I was beginning to wonder if she was ever going to start school back up. That had to be the longest Christmas (or whatever generic term they wanna use) break. And get this....they started today and then they have the 18-22 off. What the heck?!
It was a great walk to the bus stop. It is sooo warm outside. I venture a guess it's about 50* or so. I wore just a long sleeve cotton shirt, no coat. For Makenneh, she has a long sleeve shirt, her fleece and then a vest. And she got to wear her new tennis shoes today bc there is no snow to worry about, except that which was piled high from plowing/shoveling. It seriously feels like spring out there right now. I just stood out there and breathed it all in, knowing it won't last. It's supposed to be in the 50s with rain for the next couple days. Who knew it was winter...lol. But, Im not complaining. A break in the cold weather is nice...nice on the heating costs, too.
I go back to school in a week. So, i get one week of just one kid home during the day before I have to start back. I am ready to go.
And guess what..i woke up with a headache again this morning. I need a good, deep massage to break up all that tension in my neck and shoulders. I'm sure that's the cause.
Well, im off here to do something, even if it's wrong...lol
It was a great walk to the bus stop. It is sooo warm outside. I venture a guess it's about 50* or so. I wore just a long sleeve cotton shirt, no coat. For Makenneh, she has a long sleeve shirt, her fleece and then a vest. And she got to wear her new tennis shoes today bc there is no snow to worry about, except that which was piled high from plowing/shoveling. It seriously feels like spring out there right now. I just stood out there and breathed it all in, knowing it won't last. It's supposed to be in the 50s with rain for the next couple days. Who knew it was winter...lol. But, Im not complaining. A break in the cold weather is nice...nice on the heating costs, too.
I go back to school in a week. So, i get one week of just one kid home during the day before I have to start back. I am ready to go.
And guess what..i woke up with a headache again this morning. I need a good, deep massage to break up all that tension in my neck and shoulders. I'm sure that's the cause.
Well, im off here to do something, even if it's wrong...lol
Saturday, January 05, 2008
headaches
I have been having headaches lately. I can feel a knot in my shoulder blade region and I'm thinking that, along with sinus issues, is the culprit. My hot pack has become my very bestest friend. THankfully (and I should knock on wood or something, lol), they haven't lasted long and I've been able to get rid of them with ibuprofen and hot pack.
My sleeping is also out of whack. I am having the worst episode of insomnia ever. it's horrible. For about 3 nights, i was up all night...as in, up when Jeremy got up for work. I would then go to bed...sleep for a few hours before the kids were up. Hopefully I can get it all worked out and back to some sort of normal schedule this weekend.
Makenneh finally goes back to school monday. Sheesh. It feels like she has been off forever.
Nothing really exciting taking place in my corner of the world. I have been lazy and loungeful. Hah, i think i just made up a word. It's been kinda nice, but too much of this can be quite boring. I don't know how i functioned without school....giving some sort of schedule and order to this chaos. Now, i feel all off kilter bc Im not going to school. Funny how that works.
I need to get the few returns I have back to the stores..i am such a procrastinator. But, really, there is no drive to do it when I dread the thoughts of hauling two kids into the mall. Have I ever said how much i hate the mall? I try to avoid it as often as possible. I usually do quite well with it. But, one of the returns requires me to go to JC Penney. thankfully, just JCP, bc then i can enter right at JCP and be done with it. Avoid the crazies that lurk throughout the mall. LOL. OK, it's not so much the crazies..i don't know what it is about the mall that i find so repulsive. I have been able to go and enjoy it, but for the most part, it's just too many damn people in one place for me. And then you have all the kids hanging out there like it's an amusement park, acting like fools. I also need to make an appt to get my hair cut. Mom and Dad got me a gift card to get it done. I haven't had my hair cut, professionally in a few years. When it gets cut, it's bc i get in one of my "moods" and take the scissors to it myself. Thankfully I have naturally curly hair and I can do that...bc you can't see if it's uneven or not. And now that i have a gift card for a cut, my hair has been looking sooo good lately, i don't think i want more than a trim. How fun is that? Why i can do that my very self. What I'd really like is highlights. I have wanted them for a very long time. But i just never can really spend that kinda money on something so damn frivolous.
And lately, I have had the desire to be more stylish. For instance...i do the same thing with my hair every day...i pull it back in one of those "incomplete" pony tails, where I have hair left on the top of my head...it does look cute, but it's time for something else. the problem is, i cannot stand for my hair to be anywhere near my face. I hate the feeling of it. It drives me absolutely crazy. I also want to start wearing makeup sometimes..the reason i rarely do now is bc i just don't know how to apply it. I mean, i can do the basics...but eyeshadow always gets me. And I never know what is "in" and all that crap. Im just not "hip" to all of it. But I know I would feel much better with a nice hair do that is stylish and cute and some makeup on that is simple but yet accents my beautiful eyes...lol.
Ok i have rambled enough..i am going to go to bed. I swear, i am going to do it. Mind, it is time to shut down. It is time to meet the sandman. I am certain he has missed me lately!
My sleeping is also out of whack. I am having the worst episode of insomnia ever. it's horrible. For about 3 nights, i was up all night...as in, up when Jeremy got up for work. I would then go to bed...sleep for a few hours before the kids were up. Hopefully I can get it all worked out and back to some sort of normal schedule this weekend.
Makenneh finally goes back to school monday. Sheesh. It feels like she has been off forever.
Nothing really exciting taking place in my corner of the world. I have been lazy and loungeful. Hah, i think i just made up a word. It's been kinda nice, but too much of this can be quite boring. I don't know how i functioned without school....giving some sort of schedule and order to this chaos. Now, i feel all off kilter bc Im not going to school. Funny how that works.
I need to get the few returns I have back to the stores..i am such a procrastinator. But, really, there is no drive to do it when I dread the thoughts of hauling two kids into the mall. Have I ever said how much i hate the mall? I try to avoid it as often as possible. I usually do quite well with it. But, one of the returns requires me to go to JC Penney. thankfully, just JCP, bc then i can enter right at JCP and be done with it. Avoid the crazies that lurk throughout the mall. LOL. OK, it's not so much the crazies..i don't know what it is about the mall that i find so repulsive. I have been able to go and enjoy it, but for the most part, it's just too many damn people in one place for me. And then you have all the kids hanging out there like it's an amusement park, acting like fools. I also need to make an appt to get my hair cut. Mom and Dad got me a gift card to get it done. I haven't had my hair cut, professionally in a few years. When it gets cut, it's bc i get in one of my "moods" and take the scissors to it myself. Thankfully I have naturally curly hair and I can do that...bc you can't see if it's uneven or not. And now that i have a gift card for a cut, my hair has been looking sooo good lately, i don't think i want more than a trim. How fun is that? Why i can do that my very self. What I'd really like is highlights. I have wanted them for a very long time. But i just never can really spend that kinda money on something so damn frivolous.
And lately, I have had the desire to be more stylish. For instance...i do the same thing with my hair every day...i pull it back in one of those "incomplete" pony tails, where I have hair left on the top of my head...it does look cute, but it's time for something else. the problem is, i cannot stand for my hair to be anywhere near my face. I hate the feeling of it. It drives me absolutely crazy. I also want to start wearing makeup sometimes..the reason i rarely do now is bc i just don't know how to apply it. I mean, i can do the basics...but eyeshadow always gets me. And I never know what is "in" and all that crap. Im just not "hip" to all of it. But I know I would feel much better with a nice hair do that is stylish and cute and some makeup on that is simple but yet accents my beautiful eyes...lol.
Ok i have rambled enough..i am going to go to bed. I swear, i am going to do it. Mind, it is time to shut down. It is time to meet the sandman. I am certain he has missed me lately!
Wednesday, January 02, 2008
Oh this is funny
I can't take the credit
and not sure where it's due
All I can say is
it's only funny
if this isn't you
'Twas the Day AFTER Christmas
'Twas the day after Christmas, and all through the house,
Every creature was hurtin', even the mouse.
The toys were all broken, their batteries dead;
Santa had passed out, with ice on his head.
Wrapping and ribbons just covered the floor,
While upstairs the family continued to snore.
And I in my T-shirt, new Reeboks and jeans,
Went into the kitchen and started to clean.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the sink to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the curtains, and threw up the sash.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a little white truck, with an oversized mirror.
The driver was smiling, so lively and grand;
The patch on his jacket read, "U.S. POSTMAN."
With both hands full of bills, he grinned like a fox,
Then quickly he stuffed them all in our mailbox.
Bill after bill, after bill, they still came,
Whistling and shouting he called them by name:
"Now Target, now Best Buy, now Penney's and Sears.
Also Amazon, eBay - you're up to your ears!
To the tip of your limit, each store, every mall,
Now charge away - charge away - charge away all!"
He whistled and whooped as he finished his work.
He had filled up the mailbox, then turned with a jerk.
He sprang to his truck and he drove down the road,
His driving much faster with just half a load.
Then, I heard him exclaim with great holiday cheer,
"Enjoy what you got . . . you'll be paying all year!"
and not sure where it's due
All I can say is
it's only funny
if this isn't you
'Twas the Day AFTER Christmas
'Twas the day after Christmas, and all through the house,
Every creature was hurtin', even the mouse.
The toys were all broken, their batteries dead;
Santa had passed out, with ice on his head.
Wrapping and ribbons just covered the floor,
While upstairs the family continued to snore.
And I in my T-shirt, new Reeboks and jeans,
Went into the kitchen and started to clean.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the sink to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the curtains, and threw up the sash.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a little white truck, with an oversized mirror.
The driver was smiling, so lively and grand;
The patch on his jacket read, "U.S. POSTMAN."
With both hands full of bills, he grinned like a fox,
Then quickly he stuffed them all in our mailbox.
Bill after bill, after bill, they still came,
Whistling and shouting he called them by name:
"Now Target, now Best Buy, now Penney's and Sears.
Also Amazon, eBay - you're up to your ears!
To the tip of your limit, each store, every mall,
Now charge away - charge away - charge away all!"
He whistled and whooped as he finished his work.
He had filled up the mailbox, then turned with a jerk.
He sprang to his truck and he drove down the road,
His driving much faster with just half a load.
Then, I heard him exclaim with great holiday cheer,
"Enjoy what you got . . . you'll be paying all year!"
Tuesday, January 01, 2008
Happy New Year
And so it is...another year gone, a new one begun. Mine started out with a severe headache this morning. Bleh. It couldn't have been from drinking because I didn't really drink last night. I had 2 or 3 shots of tequila around midnight, then when we got home, i made a margarita and drank that. I think it may have been the combination of the few drinks, the way I slept, my sinuses, coughing all night, etc. Several ibuprofen and a hot pack later, the headache is being held at bay...just threatening to come back full force is a bend over, yell, cough too hard or otherwise cause any strain to the brain...lol. And good luck because Sebastian has decided to start the year off whiney. He wants to play Guitar Hero and well, dad says no and so it's not good around here. We have a little boy throwing a terrible two tantrum and mommy with a head threatening to ache and it's not the best combination.
Jeremy and Makenneh played outside this morning. Jeremy shoveled the six or so inches of snow we woke up to and shoveled it into a mound....then he made it into a snow fort for the kids. Makenneh loves it..she was out for quite some time. Sebastian was out for a bit, but he doesn't seem to be as much the stay-out-in-the-cold-snow kinda kid. At least not today. OF course, today, he is more concerned with getting into dad's video games. I curse those things, i really do. And silly santa thought that if he brought the children new games for their Vsmile, the kids would want to play their age-appropriate games and leave dad's alone. However, Sebastian is all about the Madden football on dad's xbox and the guitar hero. And so here he is, once again, to whine at my side, wanting the guitar and to play the game. *sigh* Is it time for school to start yet? Can he start headstart yet?
For 2008, I have no expectations. I had high expectations for 2007 and well, by February or so, found it to be disappointing. I really went into 07 excited for great things. This time, not so much. Whatever will be, will be. The new year already will mean finding a new place to live, continuing my education, Makenneh will start kindy in the fall, Seb will start headstart in the fall and boy oh boy..we will all have our days filled with places to be. My mom had asked what I will do with my free time when Seb starts school....my reply? I will spend it at school. LOL. I have to admit..part of me would love to spend those few hours at home, all alone, with nothing in particular to do. But the other part looks forward to going to school and not having to worry about babysitters for him. Will be so nice. And of course, I will probably get a day or two a week where I will be home with no kids for a couple hours. Or, knowing my luck, it will end up to be that Seb goes to headstart opposite of Makenneh's kindy schedule and well, I will still have babysitter dilemmas...lol. We are hoping to move back to the town we were living before this move, because it is easier and best for Jeremy's ride to work. So, there is always the possibility that Seb gets put in the eve. headstart, like Makenneh had. I'm hoping that isn't the case, though. The school district we are in now, they would both ride the same bus to and fro and therefore, be gone the same time. That would be nice.
So, how did you spend your New Year's Eve? We ended up going to my uncle's and playing games and just hanging out. The kids had a great time. IT was kinda boring for us, though. My uncle's gf is so anti-social and it just makes it uncomfortable for everyone. Jeremy and I sat at the table, playing Apples to Apples with the kids and my uncle, his gf and their house guest (my uncle's friend who is living with them for now, due to divorce) sat in the living room watching movies, for the most part. I tried several times to get everyone involved in the game, bc the more players, the funner it is. But, they didn't wanna, i guess. Oh well.
Makenneh goes back to school on the 7th. I go back 14th or whatever day is the monday following the 12th. For some strange reason, the college has the start date at jan 12, which actually falls on a Saturday. Don't ask me why they did that. Strange.
Anyway, that's it for now. Hope everyone had a safe and fun New Year's Eve and may everyone have a happy, healthy 2008!
Jeremy and Makenneh played outside this morning. Jeremy shoveled the six or so inches of snow we woke up to and shoveled it into a mound....then he made it into a snow fort for the kids. Makenneh loves it..she was out for quite some time. Sebastian was out for a bit, but he doesn't seem to be as much the stay-out-in-the-cold-snow kinda kid. At least not today. OF course, today, he is more concerned with getting into dad's video games. I curse those things, i really do. And silly santa thought that if he brought the children new games for their Vsmile, the kids would want to play their age-appropriate games and leave dad's alone. However, Sebastian is all about the Madden football on dad's xbox and the guitar hero. And so here he is, once again, to whine at my side, wanting the guitar and to play the game. *sigh* Is it time for school to start yet? Can he start headstart yet?
For 2008, I have no expectations. I had high expectations for 2007 and well, by February or so, found it to be disappointing. I really went into 07 excited for great things. This time, not so much. Whatever will be, will be. The new year already will mean finding a new place to live, continuing my education, Makenneh will start kindy in the fall, Seb will start headstart in the fall and boy oh boy..we will all have our days filled with places to be. My mom had asked what I will do with my free time when Seb starts school....my reply? I will spend it at school. LOL. I have to admit..part of me would love to spend those few hours at home, all alone, with nothing in particular to do. But the other part looks forward to going to school and not having to worry about babysitters for him. Will be so nice. And of course, I will probably get a day or two a week where I will be home with no kids for a couple hours. Or, knowing my luck, it will end up to be that Seb goes to headstart opposite of Makenneh's kindy schedule and well, I will still have babysitter dilemmas...lol. We are hoping to move back to the town we were living before this move, because it is easier and best for Jeremy's ride to work. So, there is always the possibility that Seb gets put in the eve. headstart, like Makenneh had. I'm hoping that isn't the case, though. The school district we are in now, they would both ride the same bus to and fro and therefore, be gone the same time. That would be nice.
So, how did you spend your New Year's Eve? We ended up going to my uncle's and playing games and just hanging out. The kids had a great time. IT was kinda boring for us, though. My uncle's gf is so anti-social and it just makes it uncomfortable for everyone. Jeremy and I sat at the table, playing Apples to Apples with the kids and my uncle, his gf and their house guest (my uncle's friend who is living with them for now, due to divorce) sat in the living room watching movies, for the most part. I tried several times to get everyone involved in the game, bc the more players, the funner it is. But, they didn't wanna, i guess. Oh well.
Makenneh goes back to school on the 7th. I go back 14th or whatever day is the monday following the 12th. For some strange reason, the college has the start date at jan 12, which actually falls on a Saturday. Don't ask me why they did that. Strange.
Anyway, that's it for now. Hope everyone had a safe and fun New Year's Eve and may everyone have a happy, healthy 2008!
Happy New Year
And so it is...another year gone, a new one begun. Mine started out with a severe headache this morning. Bleh. It couldn't have been from drinking because I didn't really drink last night. I had 2 or 3 shots of tequila around midnight, then when we got home, i made a margarita and drank that. I think it may have been the combination of the few drinks, the way I slept, my sinuses, coughing all night, etc. Several ibuprofen and a hot pack later, the headache is being held at bay...just threatening to come back full force is a bend over, yell, cough too hard or otherwise cause any strain to the brain...lol. And good luck because Sebastian has decided to start the year off whiney. He wants to play Guitar Hero and well, dad says no and so it's not good around here. We have a little boy throwing a terrible two tantrum and mommy with a head threatening to ache and it's not the best combination.
Jeremy and Makenneh played outside this morning. Jeremy shoveled the six or so inches of snow we woke up to and shoveled it into a mound....then he made it into a snow fort for the kids. Makenneh loves it..she was out for quite some time. Sebastian was out for a bit, but he doesn't seem to be as much the stay-out-in-the-cold-snow kinda kid. At least not today. OF course, today, he is more concerned with getting into dad's video games. I curse those things, i really do. And silly santa thought that if he brought the children new games for their Vsmile, the kids would want to play their age-appropriate games and leave dad's alone. However, Sebastian is all about the Madden football on dad's xbox and the guitar hero. And so here he is, once again, to whine at my side, wanting the guitar and to play the game. *sigh* Is it time for school to start yet? Can he start headstart yet?
For 2008, I have no expectations. I had high expectations for 2007 and well, by February or so, found it to be disappointing. I really went into 07 excited for great things. This time, not so much. Whatever will be, will be. The new year already will mean finding a new place to live, continuing my education, Makenneh will start kindy in the fall, Seb will start headstart in the fall and boy oh boy..we will all have our days filled with places to be. My mom had asked what I will do with my free time when Seb starts school....my reply? I will spend it at school. LOL. I have to admit..part of me would love to spend those few hours at home, all alone, with nothing in particular to do. But the other part looks forward to going to school and not having to worry about babysitters for him. Will be so nice. And of course, I will probably get a day or two a week where I will be home with no kids for a couple hours. Or, knowing my luck, it will end up to be that Seb goes to headstart opposite of Makenneh's kindy schedule and well, I will still have babysitter dilemmas...lol. We are hoping to move back to the town we were living before this move, because it is easier and best for Jeremy's ride to work. So, there is always the possibility that Seb gets put in the eve. headstart, like Makenneh had. I'm hoping that isn't the case, though. The school district we are in now, they would both ride the same bus to and fro and therefore, be gone the same time. That would be nice.
So, how did you spend your New Year's Eve? We ended up going to my uncle's and playing games and just hanging out. The kids had a great time. IT was kinda boring for us, though. My uncle's gf is so anti-social and it just makes it uncomfortable for everyone. Jeremy and I sat at the table, playing Apples to Apples with the kids and my uncle, his gf and their house guest (my uncle's friend who is living with them for now, due to divorce) sat in the living room watching movies, for the most part. I tried several times to get everyone involved in the game, bc the more players, the funner it is. But, they didn't wanna, i guess. Oh well.
Makenneh goes back to school on the 7th. I go back 14th or whatever day is the monday following the 12th. For some strange reason, the college has the start date at jan 12, which actually falls on a Saturday. Don't ask me why they did that. Strange.
Anyway, that's it for now. Hope everyone had a safe and fun New Year's Eve and may everyone have a happy, healthy 2008!
Jeremy and Makenneh played outside this morning. Jeremy shoveled the six or so inches of snow we woke up to and shoveled it into a mound....then he made it into a snow fort for the kids. Makenneh loves it..she was out for quite some time. Sebastian was out for a bit, but he doesn't seem to be as much the stay-out-in-the-cold-snow kinda kid. At least not today. OF course, today, he is more concerned with getting into dad's video games. I curse those things, i really do. And silly santa thought that if he brought the children new games for their Vsmile, the kids would want to play their age-appropriate games and leave dad's alone. However, Sebastian is all about the Madden football on dad's xbox and the guitar hero. And so here he is, once again, to whine at my side, wanting the guitar and to play the game. *sigh* Is it time for school to start yet? Can he start headstart yet?
For 2008, I have no expectations. I had high expectations for 2007 and well, by February or so, found it to be disappointing. I really went into 07 excited for great things. This time, not so much. Whatever will be, will be. The new year already will mean finding a new place to live, continuing my education, Makenneh will start kindy in the fall, Seb will start headstart in the fall and boy oh boy..we will all have our days filled with places to be. My mom had asked what I will do with my free time when Seb starts school....my reply? I will spend it at school. LOL. I have to admit..part of me would love to spend those few hours at home, all alone, with nothing in particular to do. But the other part looks forward to going to school and not having to worry about babysitters for him. Will be so nice. And of course, I will probably get a day or two a week where I will be home with no kids for a couple hours. Or, knowing my luck, it will end up to be that Seb goes to headstart opposite of Makenneh's kindy schedule and well, I will still have babysitter dilemmas...lol. We are hoping to move back to the town we were living before this move, because it is easier and best for Jeremy's ride to work. So, there is always the possibility that Seb gets put in the eve. headstart, like Makenneh had. I'm hoping that isn't the case, though. The school district we are in now, they would both ride the same bus to and fro and therefore, be gone the same time. That would be nice.
So, how did you spend your New Year's Eve? We ended up going to my uncle's and playing games and just hanging out. The kids had a great time. IT was kinda boring for us, though. My uncle's gf is so anti-social and it just makes it uncomfortable for everyone. Jeremy and I sat at the table, playing Apples to Apples with the kids and my uncle, his gf and their house guest (my uncle's friend who is living with them for now, due to divorce) sat in the living room watching movies, for the most part. I tried several times to get everyone involved in the game, bc the more players, the funner it is. But, they didn't wanna, i guess. Oh well.
Makenneh goes back to school on the 7th. I go back 14th or whatever day is the monday following the 12th. For some strange reason, the college has the start date at jan 12, which actually falls on a Saturday. Don't ask me why they did that. Strange.
Anyway, that's it for now. Hope everyone had a safe and fun New Year's Eve and may everyone have a happy, healthy 2008!
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