I'm still wearing my flip-flops

It's supposed to only be 42* tomorrow. The past few days (week?) have been warm. But, tis Spring in Michigan and the only thing guaranteed is that well, there is no guarantee. But, I will still wear my flip flops. Probably not so much tomorrow because I am going to the Senior Center and well, it's not at all professional. But, should I go anywhere after, you bet my flippers will be on.

I finished my grant proposal tonight. Whew! That is a huge relief. I also studied for a bit, so another hooray! Still plenty more studying to do, but it's a start. At least now, the questions aren't all so foreign.

On a school related note, I learned some things today. I went in to see my teacher, who is also an adviser. We finished our class a week early, but she said that if we wanted to come in during class time to talk about anything, she would be there. I figured that would certainly beat the horrendous wait at the Advising Center. She explained the difference btwn the two 4 yr Universities I am contemplating. Well, really, I am quite decided, but wanted to be sure. One is more geared for being director of an agency while other is more one on one face time with clients. I went on to tell her that I am going for my Masters and in that case, the second one would be beneficial in that I will have had the experience with one on one when I become director. I will know what my employees are having to deal with and the load they have to carry. I also found out that the U I want to attend will allow me to directly transfer to the U I have to attend for my Masters. This is where a big choice comes in. MSU (for my Masters) has an extension site closer to home. If I go there, it will take me 3 years to get my Masters (after completing my BSW). If I go to Lansing, well, it will only take me one year if I do the fast track, year round. I don't want to commute back and forth really. Especially not if I am doing the fast track. i will already be bogged down with homework/studies, etc. ON top of being mommy/wife. But Dee mentioned that we could check into the family housing on campus. She has had several students opt for that. IT would mean pulling kids from their school district to go down there for a year. At the same time, as Dee said, they would be exposed to culture, activities and things they just wouldn't otherwise get in our hometown area. Very valid point. It could be viewed as a sort of one year vacation. I have never lived further than a stone's throw from my family and quite honestly, I think it would be good for us. So, I am leaning toward that option, however, it isn't for another 3 yrs, most likely. So, food for thought, anyway. Also I found out, that if I take a Lab class in fall or winter, I will graduate with 3 degrees. OF course, they are degrees which will mean little, but still. I will have an associates in arts, applied science and social work technician. So, I figured I may as well do it. what the heck. I have to go those two extra semesters, may as well get 2 extra degrees out of it. Not to mention, with the assoc. in arts, I will be able to directly transfer and go right into the BSW program. So, another plus. I hate science. But, I am sure I will manage.

I wasn't able to start the whole point system with the kids because I flat out didn't have the time to set it up. But, the good side to that is that I decided to go a different route. I was reading about the color cards method. Not sure what they call it. Anyway, it's the same thing they use in Makenneh's class and seems to be very effective with her. She never wants to go to the yellow card. How it works is they each get 4 color cards - green, yellow, red, black. They start on green. That is full priveleges. If they break one of the rules (which we made together), then they lose their green card and go on yellow. You can determine what consequences that will bring. For us, we are going to do a time out for yellow (not my favorite, but actually, Makenneh suggested "sitting on our bed for yellow"). If they break a rule after that, they go on red, which is a steeper consequence. For red, it will be time out plus no movie before bed (which is huge for our kids). If they lose their red card, then they will be grounded for a day. In order to have larger priveleges, like friends over, they have to be on green. OH and as they lose each color, it is placed behind the black card, so that should they lose even their red card, the black is theo only one left. Today, the kids helped me cut out the color card (I used cardstock and a 3X5 index card as a guide) and I used a manilla file folder to make the chart part. I just opened it up and did two rows of "pockets" (using a different color of cardstock) so that the color cards will just slide in. Makenneh was excited about it. She helped write the rules and come up with the consequences. I must say that tonight went very smoothly. She came in from outside without a fight, jumped in the shower, and went to bed. NO fuss, No muss, No hassle. IT was beautiful. She does NOT want to lose her green card. Woohoo! I hope it works. because boot camp is the next option. LOL.

Carrie's been having a hard time with Liberty. She is very fussy, gassy, spitty-uppy. Unusual for a breastfed baby. I have mentioned this before, I think. Anyway, today was icing. Liberty cried all day...for hours. Well, Carrie was reading in her breastfeeding book that if your milk has let down with force and the baby is gulping, gagging, and pulling off the breast, that you need to pump some milk off before each feeding, until it is just a steady drip. If while feeding, the baby begins to do those things, then remove baby from breast, pump some off and let baby calm down before bringing her back to the breast. It said that when this happens, baby's have gas, spit up and get hiccups a lot. Bingo. Everything mentioned in the book applies to Liberty. Not to mention, when Carrie is breastfeeding (or even removes her breast pad), milk just sprays all over, like no other. While burping Liberty, her milk just pours out. so, this all makes sense and hopefully it helps her now that she knows what she needs to do. Hopefully Liberty won't be so fussy and gassy now.

Well, I should probably finish up on here and get to bed. Tomorrow will be busy. Senior Center then lots of studying. But, after Thursday, it will be over with....until July, anyway!

Two More Classes

Then I am done with another semester. I have exam review tomorrow and then the exam on Thursday. My grant proposal is also due on Thursday. I also have to do two more modules for my computer class..i plan to do them either tomorrow (though that's not looking good, as I haven't done the workbook exercises yet) or Thursday. Then I will be done. Oh I just realized the date and that I have to complete them on Tuesday, as that's the last day to submit work for that class. Grrrr. Glad I came here to post, or I wouldn't have realized that. At least it's still early enough for me to hit the book and get it done. And the kids are in bed already, so that's a plus.

I took my sister and Liberty to the lab today for another bili count. My mom is down state shopping for wedding stuff with my soon-to-be sister in law and her mom. So, I was elected, ok I volunteered, to take sis. They haven't lifted her restrictions yet, and until they do, we feel it's best for her to not drive, lift more than the baby weighs, etc. Given the problem she is dealing with, it's probably best that way. Not thinking, the other day, she ran the vaccuum cleaner and she still hurts from it.

I decided that it's not school Makenneh doesn't like, it's simply mornings. Every morning, I dread having to wake that child. She whines and moans and yells and cops and attitude. She says she doesn't like school, doesn't want to go. However, once she is up and around, she is eager as ever to get on the bus and go. I don't know what to do for her, as we have tried adjusting her bedtime all over the clock to find the best amount of sleep. It seems that there isn't a magic amount. No matter how much or little sleep she gets, she still hates mornings. The year is almost over and she hasn't adjusted, so I am not sure I can count on it getting better. Maybe next year?!

I had a cute picture to post, but I can't seem to find the disc that came with my camera that allowed me to upload my pics from my card. I haven't had much down time to play around and see what I can come up with either. So, the picture is trapped on my memory card. But, he came to the door yesterday, knocking as always. He hasn't been able to get down the process of opening the screen door. I go and open the door and he stands there, barefoot, with mud from his ankles down. It looked as though he were wearing mud ankle socks. It was cute. I had to take some pics. Was disappointed when I realized I wouldn't be able to post them. But, should I find myself with spare time, I will try to find a way to get them on here.

Well, as I said, I have to do my computer homework, so I best get off here. Take care, have a great night!

It's past my bedtime

My sister showed up tonight around 930...well, with hubby and baby of course. She said they wanted some "good" coffee. LOL. I teased her that she wanted auntie to do gas relief for baby so she sleeps better tonight. Every time Liberty is here, I lay her on the table (well, on her changing pad and blanket) and exercise her legs to help relieve the gas. It is such a good thing that she is breastfeeding bc even so, Liberty gets a LOT of gas and spits up quite a bit. Couldn't imagine her on formula...it would probably be worse. And speaking of Liberty...she is 8lbs, 4oz now and 21 inches. She has grown quite a bit already. My gosh. almost a full pound and an inch and a half.

Liberty has been having some good nights, some bad nights. Mom mentioned to Carrie that she may need to watch what she eats, as the spicier foods may be upsetting her tummy, keeping her up all night. That was one thing I struggled with when I was Bf.....you STILL can't eat what you want. Chili...forget it (which is one my faves). Tacos? Better not. I tend to like the spicier foods...but baby doesn't like them so well. Makes for long nights and fussy babies.

Well, I had a crazy day today. What's new, right? I went to the senior center early today..was there by 1030...i say early because typically, I arrive around 11 or 1130..sometimes later. I helped with his file system because is all out of whack, if you ask me. I am trying to make it more functional. He agreed that any improvement is better than how it currently is. So, I spent a bit of time on that. Discovered that some clients have two files. Because, well, apparently, one just wasn't enough. REally though, it happens when a client comes in and the file can't be found (because it wasn't in alphabetical order, but rather numerical order, according to the order in which they come in) and so a (new) file is made with the assumption that they don't yet have one. Hopefully that will be eliminated with the alphabetizing of files. Anyway, I somehow ended up on a tangent here. So, I did some small tasks around the office today then when I getting ready to leave (2.5 hrs later), my supervisor mentioned to me that I will probably have to write a letter to the dean of my division to explain why I want to return to the senior center for my 300 hr internship. IN addition, Ruben, my sup. will have to write one as to why he wants me to return and what new things I will learn. I told him that the big thing with the dean is he wants to know that we will be learning new things. Ruben told me that if I am able to come back he wants to get me certified to be an MMAP counselor. (MMAP=Michigan Medicare/Medicaid Assistance Program). That would teach me all the ins and outs of medicare/caid and prescription drug plans. A very useful tool when working with the elderly. I am sure that even if I am unable to complete my 300 hrs at the center, I will get the opportunity to get my certification with MMAP. Anyway, I felt pretty good about the whole thing....it will look good on a resume, be helpful in my career and also just the knowledge that he thinks enough of me to want me to come back. HE had written in my review that I have been a big, big, big help. Anyway, I do hope to return there. I love it. Love the people, love the supervisor, love the atmosphere. Very relaxed, laid back, easy going. MY kinda scene. Not a bit stuffy.

I get home and open mail from the college. Apparently the summer classes I signed up for online were dropped for non-payment. Well, in the past, I have registered online, no problem. But this is the first summer class I have taken. I guess the college hasn't imported the financial aid reports yet, so that's why the classes were dropped. So, I go to the college and fill out the form to see the advisor first because I was hoping the one I wanted to see was in. She wasn't. I sit and wait...with a bunch of others..it was packed. After awhile, the lady calls my name to tell me that the computer is showing a block on my account. I had to go downstairs (from 3rd to 1) to take care of it. So, I go down to registration (where the letter I received said to go) and take a number. Wait. get up there to be told I must go to financial aid. You're kidding me, right? So, I go take a number for financial aid. Wait. Get back there and the lady was very nice, helpful. I explain what I had done, she told me what happened and signed the Perc hold slip needed to say that they would hold my classes until my funds were available. Go back up to to 3rd floor (via stairs I may add) and continue my wait up there. Finally, i am called back. He goes to register me for my classes....nope, blocked. He calls registration. Funny, because that grump wanted no part in dealing with me when I went down there. Suddenly they are the ones who must take care of it. He tells her what is happening and what I had just done. She asked to speak to me. IN the most condescending tone possible, she says, "I have to make sure you understand this before I lift the block. I see you have a perc hold slip. If for any reason your fin. aid doesn't come through you are responsible to pay for your tuition. I have to be sure you understand this." Yes, I understand. I understand because I AM literate and the kind lady down in fin. aid had to read the waiver I had to sign that stated what you just told me. I read it. Completely. Said "I am scared" and signed my name because damn it, I need this to all go through. ALl said inmy head as I grit my teeth and get on with things. Hang up and finally am able to sign up for my classes. Then I asked advisor guy to go over my credits and lets make sure I am on the right track. To my knowledge, i need the last two social work courses (300 hrs intern, split into 2 sep. classes) and a LAB class. WE go through it and guess what? I only need the sw classes...300 hrs. He said I am 13 credits away. I had just signed up for 6 for summer and woohooo, look at me go! I felt much better. Honestly, when I was dealing with witch on phone, I had tears stinging my eyes. For a fleeting moment, I considered grabbing my stuff up and walking out. Giving up. But a voice inside said, "Hey, you have come too far, worked too hard to throw it all in now. Stick with it. Get through it." But the tears were stinging and the lump in my throat made it hard to breath for a moment. But, when adviser guy told me that good news, well, it just felt better. I walked out of that office with a bounce in my step. I still have to go until winter...and not graduate until Next May...but I can see an end in sight. It is all paying off. Almost. There.

For summer I am just taking business math and intro to business because not much is offered in summer and I wanted to stay at the local extension campus rather than have to drive to main campus. I figure bus. classes can never be a bad idea. Could be helpful when I start my Non-profit sometime down the road. Sure some of the things learned with be helpful.

Wow, haven't I said enough already? Lots on my mind and hey, it's 230am. Just because most people are sleeping, doesn't mean I should be. Hahaha. But, my eyelids are getting heavier by the minute so I will wrap it up. But not before I mention the glorious weather we are having...near 80 temps...but rain is in forecast for next few days....chances of rain, not guarantee. We were supposed to get some today, but it never materialized. But, it's pretty balmy. Feels much like FLA. So, I can pretent I am on vacation, right? Good night..and enjoy the weekend!

GRRRR

I just feel so darn agitated this afternoon/evening. Seriously. I have no idea why, but I do. Of course, Tuesdays and Thursdays are rough in that the past couple weeks, i stay late to work on my computer class. So, that means I get home, rush around to make dinner, then have to clean up the dinner mess, do the dishes and then it is just about time to get kids ready for bed. I am under pressure with the end of the semester and I need to be on my homework, but it has to be put off until much later because of everything else. Then, for whatever unknown reason, my dad decided to leave his plate at the table, get up and go outside. I was sooo irked at having to take care of his plate. It was just one of those days for me. And it hasn't gotten better. Makenneh is throwing a fit because i didn't order the overly inflated priced tooth fairy pillow for her from her fundraiser. She has become a mouthy snot lately that I almost prefer not to be around. She went so far as to yell to me that I had the money I just NEVER buy her anything with it. That about did it for me. Most of our money gets spent on kids....believe me.

I was reading on Babyzone about the point system some moms use with their kids and I recall Stacy talking about as well. I think I am going to implement that starting tomorrow. I talked to Jeremy about it today and explained it some to the kids. They earn points by being good/doing as told, and then those points are used for computer time/video games/tv/etc. When they misbehave/don't do as told/act up, it "costs" them points. So, the child then has to decide where they want to spend their points...on bad behavior or fun time. It's also a great way to limit time spent on things like tv. I hope to tweak it and get it all set up tonight so that I can begin using it in the morning.

I am still working on the grant proposal I have to write for my Community Development class. It is such an overwhelming task. I will get going on it and run into a roadblock...like how much does it cost for Workman's Comp/Unemployment insurances? I have to write that into my budget. All these little things we don't think of on a regular basis.

Today was my last day for my Social Work Practicum class..i got my grade, which is a 4.0. I am so glad to be down to two classes....the Community Development and the Computer class. I stayed after today and did two modules for the computer class, leaving two to do. I figure I can utilize the time I would have been in my Practicum class to work on the other 2 modules for comp. class. Then, I can be done with that one as well. My grade in that class is not going to be a 4.0. I am over it. I don't even care. i am to the point that as long as I pass, I will be happy. Bad attitude to have, i know. And so unlike me where my school is concerned but I am tired...mentally and physically and I just want it over with. I think part of it, too, is knowing that I have to stay at the community college another whole year in order to complete the social work tech program. It's not what I had planned. But, I have to just take a deep breath, realize that no amount of stressing or sulking will change it and get on with it. Look at the bright side: It gives me more time to get everything situated for the transfer that I have procrastinated on.

My cousin, Rachel, who lost the baby last week opted for the D&C procedure and that was done today. They put her completely out for it and used suction rather than scraping. Everything went well (as it can for something like that, anyway). I really hope that she is able to conceive soon.

Well, I have to get back to homework..and first finish my rounds on here.

Have a great night!

Happy Birthday Grandma - It's own post

I know I already posted once today but this post was deserving of its very own!

Eighty-eight years ago, today, a special person entered this world. I call her grandma! I was a lucky kid because I was blessed with wonderful grandparents, and my grandma Themm is no exception. When the word grandma is mentioned, most of us have an image of what we think a grandma should be - soft, kind, gentle, loving, patient, fun, story-teller, cookies, spoiler of grandkids. And my grandma fits the bill. As a young child, I loved molasses cookies, for no other reason than grandma always had some in her cookie jar, which was within kid reach, i might add. Those and fig newtons. I love those too. I also loved our trips up north to visit. I almost always got to sleep in grandma's bed with her and she would tell me the story of Jack and the Bean Stalk...off the top of her head. I remember as a child laying there, completely amazed that she knew this whole story from memory. Of course, having 12 children and countless grandkids, I am sure she had read the story and rehearsed the story many times before I came along. But, nonetheless, i thought it was amazing. We would also always go for walks. The scenery "up north" was always so beautiful and I can still recall the sound of our feet on the sandy/rocky roads. Love that sound. And we would go to the beach. The only time I ever really went to the beach as a kid was when we were up north. And I can mention grandma without recalling the smells of morning and the huge spread she would prepare. Breakfast was never just cereal. There was bacon, sausage, eggs, pancakes, fresh fruit, toast, jelly, orange juice and coffee....and more. Every meal was like that....more food than a buffet. And all prepared by her loving hands. Hands that are soft as velvet. Amazing how they could be so soft with all the hard work they have done. Until the past few years, grandma was sure to be able to work circles around even me....hauling wood, shoveling snow, you name it. Things I don't mind passing off. I know this post may be off in circles or something, but I am posting things as they come to mind. Another thing I will always remember is how I have never heard my grandma raise her voice. That's not to say she never did. I am sure her kids will tell us differently. But, I personally, cannot recall a single time that she ever has.

Now that I am older and have children of my own, I enjoy seeing the bond between my grandma and them. Especially Makenneh. Makenneh took right to her "great grandma with white hair" and I think it would be pretty accurate to say that grandma took to her as well. =)

Happy Birthday, Grandma and may you have many more beautiful birthdays to come!!!! I am truly blessed to be your granddaughter!

Busy, Busy

It's that time of the semester in which everything is winding down, papers are due, exams to be taken. My head is spinning. I still have 4 modules to do for my computer class and 7 days to do them in. I have a grant to write within 8 days and really, I guess that's all. I took my exam for my Practicum class today and feel I did great. I also finished 3 of my modules for computers, which left me the 4 to complete. I did figure my grade and even if i didn't get those 4 done, I would get a 70% for the class. Nothing I would normally be happy with, but at this point, I just want it over with.

I also want all this sickness over with. My gosh it is ridiculous. I am finally feeling better but still don't have all my energy back. Now, Jeremy, my dad and mom have it to different degrees. Last night, I was in bed, and jumped up thinking I had to throw up. I felt so sick to my stomach, it was horrible. I opted to sleep with a bucket next to my bed. Just in case.

We had the kids' bday party for family on Sunday. That went well. My brother always insists on getting them obnoxious toys like water guns....paybacks are a B*%ch.

Carrie goes back to the OB on May 5th and they will set her up for surgery. She doesn't have a lot of confidence in this doctor, because he has been her OB through the whole pregnancy. We have told her that if she doesn't have faith in him, she has the right to request a different surgeon. The problem is, who do you get to do such a delicate surgery? And her OB was a board certified surgeon before he was an OB. He is either the only double board certified OB or one of a few. He also has the highest delivery rate for our area. I just don't know what to think about the whole thing. Ultimately, I think initial anger wants us to find somewhere to place blame, it's the human nature. The truth is, some things like this just happen and it's not necessarily the fault of anyone in particular. However, our family doc did say that most likely what happened is she tore worse than they realized, they missed that part of the tear and now it means major surgery to fix it. So, on that account, well, the docs should have paid closer attention. But, as our family doc also said, she has a healthy baby and a lot to be thankful. it could have gone a lot worse than it did. And that's for sure. So, we will continue to pray and ask for prayers, that the outcome of the surgery is successful. One of the largest concerns with this surgery is that there is a high rate of infection. So, let's pray that that isn't the case with her. She has been through enough and a bit of give would be great! Liberty is doing well, although her biliruben count is high, so they have her a bili blanket. It went down and then back up again, from what I understand. Hopefully that resolves itself soon. We just took her yesterday for another poke at the lab to test her biliruben.

Well, I have to get on my homework....time is running out!!! Have a great night and I will try to check in soon!

Glorious Sunshine

Although my heart isn't feeling it. It just seems that lately things have turned upside down. The other day, my cousin found out that she is in fact, not pregnant. She tested positive, had to wait forever to get to the OB and they did an ultrasound and discovered that there was an amniotic sac with no baby in it and a cyst on one of her ovaries. She and her husband are devastated. I do so hope that in 3 months, when they get the all clear and can try again, that it works out for them.

Last night, my mom informs me that a guy I used to date before Jeremy passed away March 30th. They say your first love will always have a place in your heart. For me, that isn't true. I don't waste space on Mike. Bleh. However, in the short time I dated Brian, he grabbed a piece of my heart and will always be there. He was battling Hodgkin's Disease when I met him. I didn't let that bother me, I accompanied him on his chemo trips, I sat at his side as he vomited uncontrollably, I helped him in and out of the tub when he was so sick from treatments. I didn't bat an eye. But, he felt that he couldn't put me through that and that I deserved more than he could ever offer. We remained friends and stayed in touch on and off. I am glad that he is no longer suffering, but I feel a sort of emptiness that he is gone. Life is crazy sometimes.

Anyway, my mom decided to get my children chicks for their bday. So, today we got them...6 of them, because you have to buy them in lots of 6. I forewarned her that I would take no part in their care...not my idea. NOpe. I hate taking care of animals in the winter or hot summer. nothankyou. But hte kids love them and think they are great and for a while, well, they will enjoy them and then the novelty will wear off, the chicks will grow to chickens and well, it will still be fun gathering eggs, until that novelty wears off and then it will be a bummer.

Tomorrow is their little bday party for family. OF course, today would have been the better day for it, because it was beautiful out. But, I planned for Sunday and well, it's going to be in the 50s with chance of rain. Oh well. I will honestly be glad when it's done and over. Bad I know, but being sick has taken its toll on me and I am just tired and blah feeling. I want to go to sleep and sleep for a month. Wake up feeling refreshed, energized, and back to normal.

Nothing is going as it should

More prayer requests, please!!!!!! Carrie hasn't felt right in her nether regions since giving birth. I didn't know what to tell her because, well, you just had a baby, it was a bit rough of a delivery and my last one was 4 yrs ago. The Lord has a great way of blessing us with memory lapses when it comes to child birth. His insurance that life will go on, I suppose. Anyway, finally yesterday something happened that prompted her to call her OB. I won't go into detail here because it is her private story (no pun intended). WEll, the OB's answer was, "I can see you tomorrow at 2". MOm said like hell it will wait. So they called our family doctor who said to get to ER because she needed to be seen. AFter being there a few hours, a staff member comes in and tells them they have to get the baby out of there bc someone has spinal meningitis and they are unsure if it is the bacterial or viral form. So, mom had to leave Carrie at the ER and bring Liberty home. Meanwhile Ralph was out of town on work, a good hour plus away from home, about 2 hrs from hospital. I had Makenneh's bday party at McDonalds for her class friends. But, when I get out of McD's, I call and learn that Liberty had to leave the hospital so I told mom I would meet her at Carrie's to get Liberty. I got to watch the little peanut and even feed her a bottle, to which I have to say, was not pleasant. This child is every bit a booby baby. She wrinkled her face up something fierce at that nasty formula. 7 hours after getting there, Carrie was able to come home, with no answers, really. Liberty was happy to be able to get back on the booby and all was well.

Until today. Carrie went in at 2 to see the OB. She was informed that there is a tear btwn her vagina and rectum that will require surgery and in some instances, patients end up with colostomy bags. She is 25 yrs old. She is otherwise healthy. Please say prayers that this goes well. They don't understand what caused it because she only had a 2nd degree tear during delivery, which is common. I had that with Makenneh. Usually this injury happens when a woman rips from end to end and beyond. At any rate, Carrie and Ralph are both upset and quite honestly, I am too. I cried for her. She should be able to enjoy her baby without this dark cloud hanging over her. Nothing has gone as it should with this pregnancy.

Oh and to top it off, I get to Carrie's last night and before Ralph and my mom leave, their cat fell off the coffee table. He hit a landslide of magazines and such and fell. Ended up breaking his hip and/or legs. So, that was one more thing Ralph had to deal with. I thought he was going to cry. The cat will have to go down because it will cost far too much to fix him and he is quite old and very obese. So sad. So, the past couple weeks have been one big ordeal after another. I am most often too mentally and physically exhausted to update here. But, I knew I needed to because Carrie needs all the prayers and positive thoughts she can get right now.

Other than that, Easter went well, despite the cloud of cooties looming over most of us. I still feel quite under the weather and can't wait for this to lift. Now mom has it and so does dad. Hopefully they get rid of it and all the bugs/germs/sickies are gone for some time!!!

I can't end this post without a little about my big girl's bday. Makenneh turned 6 yesterday. We had a bday party at McDonald's with a few of her friends from school. IT was loud and crazy but they all had a good time. I can't believe that my little girl is getting soooo big. Having Liberty around has really hit a spot for me. I want a redo with my babies. I realize how much I missed because of the postpartum depression. I wish I would have snuggled a little more and worried a lot less. I wish I would have just enjoyed that sweet innocent phase and not taken one moment of it for granted. Instead, I was deep in depression and despair. Makenneh was a very trying baby (still is a trying child, truth be told) but I wonder how much things could have been better if I weren't so stressed/depressed. But, we cannot go back-only forward. I do know I spent a lot of time holding them as babies. Especially Makenneh. She was most content while being held close to me. We even slept that way. Many nights, her on my chest, me on the loveseat. It seemed to be the only way either of us got any rest. But, now she is 6 and she is becoming more and more independent. She does still love to cuddle though and I remind myself to take advantage of those moments for they will soon be gone. Happy Birthday my little princess!!!!

WEll, I am going to go for now. I have work to do!

Wouldn't you know...

I caught the bug, full force. Complete with fever, chills, body ache, the works. I don't think I have ever been this sick. I struggled to make it through my two classes today. During my 2nd class is when it really started to hit me. It was horrible. My legs ached soo bad and my face was on fire. On a good note, Makenneh is on the upswing. She still has the cough but said she feels better. Now, if only Sebastian can avoid it.

Carrie is coming down with it as well, which isn't good when you consider the coughing that racks your body and she is only 5 days postpartum. Also, she had to take Liberty back to the lab today to test her biliruben levels. The doctor called and ordered a bili-blanket which has already been dropped off to the house. The doctor's office said they would be in for a few more hours so if she had any questions/concerns to call. They also told her that if she needs to call after they are gone, they will be sure to get the call right through to the doctor. This is one of teh many reason I love my doctor (she and her family go to the same doc as us).

Well, other than that, everyone is well. I have to get off here and go lay down.

Ohhh lala, a few pics....

Courtesy of my soon-to-be sister-in-law....

My brother and baby Liberty


There she is...can you believe she is 4 weeks early? Look at her chunk!!!



Awww, you can see her face....isn't she just precious?

A great idea

I am so over all the sickies that seem to be running rampant around here. It seems, for the better part of the past few months, I have been up to my eyebrows in diarrhea, puke, runny noses, coughs, and even fevers. I am so ready for it to be over. One thing cycles after another. The latest is Makenneh having a cough and fever. My kids rarely ever run fevers. Hers is hitting around 102, has gone as high as 103.2. Thankfully, a dose of ibuprofen brings it right back down. Now, I have the cough, with that feeling in my chest of impending bronchitis or something similar. I said to makenneh, I hope we can finally get better and stay better. We have had our share of sickness in this house for awhile. To which she replies, "I think you and me should pack up our clothes and stuff and go stay somewhere." Hah, wouldn't that be great. It's funny how kids' minds work.
As for me, I am slathered in Vicks and eating vitamins, in hopes of beating this stuff. It is bugging me that I have a brand new niece and can't go visit her because I am covered in cooties.

Im still waiting on mom to upload the pics of Liberty so I can share them. She has been staying with Carrie and Ralph and so, the camera is over there, filling up with many pictures of the new bundle. And that bundle had to go to the doctor today for her first visit. She is slightly dehydrated, so he wants Carrie to give Liberty some water. She isn't too fond of that idea because she is breastfeeding. Hopefully everything will go well with it. She has to take her back in again tomorrow, to get poked. They are checking for jaundice, because she is slightly yellow. Her levels today were right at the border, but the doctor surmises that with the extra fluids, that will take care of it. But, at any rate, mom and baby are doing well and I am sad because i am stuck here in this house of cooties until who knows when. Please send us your healthy vibes...we need them very much.

They are home!!

Liberty came home today! She and mommy are both doing well. She is such a content little baby. Hopefully it stays that way. I was very disappointed with the hospital though - i may have mentioned this the other night- but they only have lactation consultants available during the week (mon-thurs) so forget having a baby and needing help with breastfeeding fri-sun. I felt so bad for my sister as she was trying to get the hang of it. I have been there and know how frustrating it can be. And I also know that with proper support, you can overcome that initial stage and be successful. It seems to be going a bit better for her now and I hope it continues to do so, as she and Liberty both get the hang of it. We are all going to write the hospital about that.

So, I had a crummy day! Not sure why. Maybe it's the mix of adrenaline, fatigue, PMS (maybe it's coming), I don't know. But, at any rate, I was just a ball of frustration and out of sorts today. I was actually quite beside myself. Felt myself coming and going. Then, to top it all off, I pull into Walmart, after leaving my sister's and park, look at the Kroger ad, to see what I needed to price match(was just grabbing a few things). I get out, walk around the car to get Sebastian out and realize I had parked next to Harold (Desiree's umm, i don't know what you would call him). I didn't even look at him. I wanted to spit in his direction, but fortunately, I have more restraint and maybe just a tad more class than that. So, I get the kids, and just hope he doesn't say anything to me because with the day I had today, I probably would have given him a piece of my mind. Then, to be honest, on the other hand, I was sort of hoping he would say something, so I could say to him: You are a worthless excuse for a man and I want nothing to do you with you. I have my children with me, so I will keep this decent, but just know that I do care for you and the things you have done and I prefer you to never speak to me again. What kind of man walks away from his only child like that, after she loses her mom?

That's the type of things I would love to say to him. I don't hate him, it's not in my being to hate. Not to mention, hate requires a level of emotion he isn't worthy of. So anyway, I come home, crabby and Jeremy comes out and asked what is wrong. This is where I am reminded that men truly are from Mars. I said, -I have had a crummy day, I am beside myself and to top it off, I have to park next to that worthless piece of crap who thinks he can call himself a father.

To which my Martian husband replies, "I just don't understand why you allow yourself to get all worked up over that stuff and let it ruin your whole day."

Me-It didn't ruin my whole day, I told you it topped it off. (Pause). But yes, I do get worked up over it a bit. I am angry. ANGRY! He gets to walk this Earth while my aunt is DEAD! It angers me! /end rant.

Such a typical male response. I wasn't mad at him for it. And I didn't yell when i said it. but, it kinda felt good to say those words out loud.

So, that was my crummy day in a nutshell. I do still feel a bit beside myself, but as much as I did earlier.

I will post more pics of Liberty once we get them on the computer. She is so precious. I have to say that Carrie mentioned today that she thinks Liberty looks like me. Awwww, poor little thing. LOL. Nah, i said, OH how nice! As I snuggled her up to me. So nice to have a baby that doesn't keep you up at night. When she cries, I can give her back. Hehehhhehe!

Introducing.....

Liberty Grace
Born 04/02/2009 at 10:53pm
7lbs 6oz
19.5inches

She is absolutely perfect. However, her birth story isn't. I am dead tired, just got home about 20 mins ago (230am). But,. the short of it is, They put the gel on her cervix at 9am, broke her water at 1130am. It took forever for her to start contractions. They had to keep upping her pitocin. She dialated to 3 and stayed there for quite some time. Finally, after hours, she began to get good, steady contractions. When they came, they sure did come. Toward the end, the baby's heart rate would drop drastically during contractions. Around this time, Carrie was about ready to push. Every time she would push, the heartrate would drop real low. The doctor finally told her she had 2 more chances but after that, it would have to be a C-section bc the baby wasn't tolerating the pushing. She said that usually motivates moms to push with all they have. Sure enough. But, it doesn't stop there. LIberty just didn't want to come out and so they had to use the vaccuum extractor on her and after her head was delivered, carrie had trouble pushing to get shoulders out. It was horrible. I have never been so in awe and terrified at the same time. She finally was able to do it and Liberty came out crying. It was very long, tiring and trying. Carrie did not like for me to be out of the room, so it was especially tough for me. I was her labor coach for hte most part. We got through. I did decide though that I don't really ever care to see childbirth again. Been there, did that, and almost didn't make it. IT is so horrible to watch someone you love go through that level of pain and not be able to do anything about it. During the peaks of some of those contracts, she would just look at me, wild eyed, as if begging me to help. All I could do was massage, encourage to breath, nice and slow, and breath with her. But, a really neat tidbit - I GOT TO CUT THE CORD!!!! Daddy didn't want to, so I did. That was quite neat.

Baby is doing pretty good but because Carrie had to go on Magnesium to prevent siezures (due to the pre-eclampsia), the baby was a bit groggy and slow at breathing. But, she did quite well. THey still have to have her on a monitor for 24 hours because of the Mag. Just to make sure baby has no ill side effects. But, Carrie is able to breast feed her and she is doin gquite well with that. Except for feeding, though, the baby has to stay in the nursery on teh monitors. However,Carrie and Ralph can go in anytime to see her. So, anyway, baby is well, mom is well and now it is time for me to hit the hay so I can go back up there tomorrow!

Thanks for all the prayers, they were certainly heard. Liberty is a healthy weight, doing great and mom was able to have the natural labor/delivery she wanted (no epidural) and is doing well.!!!

Here we go.....Prayers please

Carrie isn't going to make it another week. She was having blurred vision yesterday. Last night, she had some discomfort/pressure behind her eyes, so she went to the hospital. They kept her and plan on inducing her this morning. She is exactly one month from her due date. Please say your prayers that all goes well and she delivers a healthy baby and she does fine. She is dialated to 1 and 70% efaced, so hopefully that's a sign that her body will accept the petocin and she can have a vaginal birth. Keep her in your thoughts and prayers today, please and I will update as soon as I can. Mom and I are headed to the hospital right now because they plan to start induction.

Here's to a successful birth......