I'll start by saying that i am highly irritable right now and in an anxiety attack for some reason. So, excuse me if i tend to babble or make no sense (hey, what's new, right?).
Anyway, i was laying with Makenneh in her bed tonight and she was talking about her friend's bday party she went to a couple weekends ago. Then we started talking about her bday. She asked if hers would be at the same place and i said i didn't know. then I said, well, you will be 5, so we will probably do something special. She melted. She doesn't want to turn 5. She doesn't want to grow up. She wants to stay 4 forever. Everytime bdays or age is brought up, she says this. Sometimes, she gets right into a meltdown over it. I don't understand it. She said it isn't fun to grow up. I told her that momma had fun when i was 6,7 and 8, etc. She was in tears about it. I asked her why she didn't want to grow up but she just says it's not fun or htat she just doesn't want to. Then towards the end of the conversation, she said she wants to be with me forever. I assured her that no matter how grown up she is, I will always be there for her. I told her how even though I am a grown up, my mom is still there for me when i need her. *Sigh* I don't know. On one hand, it's good to know that I must be doing something right that she wants to be here with me forever instead of far far away. I should record these moments so that when she is a teenage and swears that I am ruining her life and she wants to move far away from me, i can play them back and remind her that she said she wanted to be with me forever. LOL.
The kids are feeling better. At least, they have their energy back...tearing through like crazy leaving messes in their wakes. It looks as though the weekend will be spent putting things back in order around here, taking the tree down, putting the living room back to normal, cleaning, all that un-fun stuff. Then, we really need to start packing away any thing we don't need on a regular basis. And at the same time, looking for a new place to live. The very thought of it puts my stomach in knots and makes me want to puke. But, i can't run nor hide from it, it has to be done. All i can do is say a prayer, make a wish and cross my fingers that it all works out.
WEll, i am off here for now. I was hoping that blogging would help with the anxiety attack, but it really hasn't. I just need to go lay down, which isn't an option, seems how jeremy crashed on the couch at about 730 so until the kids spend this pent up energy, i am up.
2 comments:
Christina, Maybe it's not an anxiety attack you are having. May be like the kids, you are having excess energy. Instead of running thru the house ripping and tearing, you need to be doing homework, cleaning, making arraingements to sitters, getting to class. . . .Relax, you'll be back in form before you know it!
Happy New Year
Love ya
I was thinking what your Aunt Bev was thinking sweetie. :) Just so used to being so busy! I know, it's making me nuts here! No place really to go. I'm not a big shopper and well, it costs money to go shopping, so we've been here. Just here.
Jaime Lee Curtis has this cute book about 5 year olds. Maybe Makenneh would enjoy hearing it? Perhaps your library has it. That is where Z and I found it. :) It's called, "It's Hard to be 5." It has a really cute story with it.
And Ugh, I haven't made it to the post office yet! Sorry!!
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