My birthday boy

Tomorrow Sebastian will be 4. I cannot believe it. It seems like just yesterday, yet it seems like a lifetime ago. I can see him growing up in so many ways, every day. He does still love to cuddle and be lovey, which gives me strength to get through the roughest days. He is definitely affectionate and quite the ham. He wakes up in a cheerful mood almost every morning, on his own. So unlike big sis who would rather sleep til noon. He picked up manners and uses them almost always. He will always say thank you, for the simplest things. I do hope that he holds on to that gratitude. No matter how long I am gone, when I walk through the front door, he comes running, "I bist you mommy!!" and gives me a huge hug. Even if I just walk out to the car and right back in. It is so cute.

I remember when I found out I was pregnant for him and how I cried. I cried for days. I did not want another child and we weren't prepared for another child, to boot. I felt bad for myself. I felt bad for Makenneh because I was brining another child into the world that would "take from her" my time, our limited resources, etc. I remember on a few different occasions, early in that pregnancy, I muttered the A word to Jeremy. I can honestly say, it would never have been a real option for me. But, I just felt so horrible all the way around. Of course, Jeremy's reaction was, "Absolutely not and don't even talk like that. We will make it work, we will get through it. It will be ok." Now, I look back on those times and wish I would have had a crystal ball. I had no idea the incredible amount of joy this little boy would bring to my life. In many ways, he has saved me. He was a good baby, sleeping through the night before long. He was always so happy and cheerful. He has had his moments. Moment that have about brought me to my knees. But, overall, he is a great boy and I am so thankful God chose me to be his mom.

Happy birthday, my sweet Sebastian!