My friend Stacy is now home on bed rest, rather than in the hospital. They had a slight scare, as the twins were kicking on the placenta and they were afraid it would rupture, which would result in an emergency Csection. She is almost 29 weeks pg. By some miracle, no doubt, the placenta moved and so they sent her home on bed rest. They said it is next to impossible for a placenta to move at this stage in pg, specially with twins. But, with God, all things are possible! She did spend 5 weeks in the hospital though. That had to be the roughest 5 weeks! Hopefully those little girls stay in the oven until closer to their due date!
Thanks to everyone who has kept them all in your thoughts and prayers!
Saturday, July 29, 2006
Thursday, July 27, 2006
Thanks Julie
Julie, Thanks for directing me to the pics you took at the zoo! They are soo cool! I can't wait. I have been there, but it was when i was a kid...so i don't remember. My brother was saying that their polar bear exhibit is the largest (or something) in the world??? At any rate, I know we will have fun! I do have a question actually. My dad was able to get 5 tix. It would be my mom, dad, me and my 2 kids for sure. But what i was wondering is if the baby would be free (he is 15 months old), giving an extra ticket for my hubby to go.
Anyway, nothing special to post about today.
Anyway, nothing special to post about today.
You won't believe this!
LOL....Jeremy was finally approved for a second credit card. So now we have the 2nd tradeline that the broker requested to approve our loan. As soon as he gets the card in the mail we will call and activate it and then our loan officer will pull his credit one last time to show proof of the new tradeline and we should be good to go! And the pymt on the house I posted a link to is in our reach. So, hopefully we can get that house. I am absolutely in love with it. It even has a decent sized fenced in yard. I pulled in the driveway the other day and looked at it. Didn't get out of the car bc it was a bad downpour...but just wanted to see it irl. I got the warm fuzzy feeling that i could call this place home with pride. ANd i envisioned planting my flowers in the yard, which already has some landscaping done, the kids playing in the back yard, having ppl over and plenty of room for everyone. Sitting on the front porch on a cool summer night....I asked our realtor about getting in to see it. I can't wait. We also have a few other places to look at too. But nothing on that list is going to compare to this house i don't think.
Mom comes home from her camping trip today. She is always on the go somewhere. Saturday we are gonna have a bon fire and some drinks. She said that we had to have a get together when she got home, seems we had one while she was gone...lol.
Oh and we are going to the Detroit Zoo on August 12. The company my dad works for is having their work picnic there and all expenses are covered. The kids are going to love it. Ok, im gonna love it too. My dad's excited for us to go too. I think it will be so cool. Dad usually doesn't go to things like this. But these grandkids sure do bring out the best of him. =)
Well, i have a headache still (leftover from last night..lol) so im gonna get off here!
Mom comes home from her camping trip today. She is always on the go somewhere. Saturday we are gonna have a bon fire and some drinks. She said that we had to have a get together when she got home, seems we had one while she was gone...lol.
Oh and we are going to the Detroit Zoo on August 12. The company my dad works for is having their work picnic there and all expenses are covered. The kids are going to love it. Ok, im gonna love it too. My dad's excited for us to go too. I think it will be so cool. Dad usually doesn't go to things like this. But these grandkids sure do bring out the best of him. =)
Well, i have a headache still (leftover from last night..lol) so im gonna get off here!
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
Hmmmm
Well, I finally went down and applied for a job at the new walmart opening nearby. I applied Friday and was called on Monday for an interview on Tues. The interviews (there were 2) went great and I was set up for a 3rd interview on monday. My cousin was hired already and she said that at the 3rd interview, they just have you fill out your paperwork and go for your drug test. So it sounds like I am in!
I checked the site with the houses for sale and found this one: I want it!
http://www.flinthomes.net/cgi-bin/homesearch/hsh3?;price%3Akm%3
Anum%3Age=40000;price%3Akm%3Anum%3Ale=90000;district%3Acs
=8;bedrooms%3Age=3;_order=price%3Ades;_template=detailedview;_
multidb=FAAR;_multicount=FAAR%3D30;_db=FAAR;_totalcount=30;
&_template=fullview&_startat=3&_limit=1
Hopefully it will work out, but i have lost almost all hope...lol.
Ive been off work all week so far. I was horribly out of sorts on Saturday and Jeremy called in for me bc I spent the day sobbing and miserable. I don't know exactly what it is. I just felt horrible. So, anyway, they put me on a 3 day suspension bc it was a weekend. Oh well. I would have taken the day off anyway, even if i had known that ahead of time. There was no way I could have functioned at work in the state of mind I was in.
We will see how things go when I go back. $6 an hour hardly seems worth the stress. Jeremy was understandable and said I could quit if i wanted/needed to. I love the ppl I work with for the most part, and i love being a cashier....there is just something about that place in general...or maybe it's about something deeper. I don't know. But, i called today and made an appt with my doc and will probably call tomorrow to set up an appt for counseling. I need to sort through this. I have no idea where those crappy feelings came from, but the sobbing was uncontrollable at times. So keep me in ur prayers and send some positive happy vibes my way!
I checked the site with the houses for sale and found this one: I want it!
http://www.flinthomes.net/cgi-bin/homesearch/hsh3?;price%3Akm%3
Anum%3Age=40000;price%3Akm%3Anum%3Ale=90000;district%3Acs
=8;bedrooms%3Age=3;_order=price%3Ades;_template=detailedview;_
multidb=FAAR;_multicount=FAAR%3D30;_db=FAAR;_totalcount=30;
&_template=fullview&_startat=3&_limit=1
Hopefully it will work out, but i have lost almost all hope...lol.
Ive been off work all week so far. I was horribly out of sorts on Saturday and Jeremy called in for me bc I spent the day sobbing and miserable. I don't know exactly what it is. I just felt horrible. So, anyway, they put me on a 3 day suspension bc it was a weekend. Oh well. I would have taken the day off anyway, even if i had known that ahead of time. There was no way I could have functioned at work in the state of mind I was in.
We will see how things go when I go back. $6 an hour hardly seems worth the stress. Jeremy was understandable and said I could quit if i wanted/needed to. I love the ppl I work with for the most part, and i love being a cashier....there is just something about that place in general...or maybe it's about something deeper. I don't know. But, i called today and made an appt with my doc and will probably call tomorrow to set up an appt for counseling. I need to sort through this. I have no idea where those crappy feelings came from, but the sobbing was uncontrollable at times. So keep me in ur prayers and send some positive happy vibes my way!
Saturday, July 22, 2006
Crazy, yet rewarding day at work
Well, today was an ok day at work. I was able to leave feeling like I was important and helpful. We were quite slow at work when I got there at 530pm. Then, I got this lady, so I helped I unload her cart. She was so appreciative. She threw a York Peppermint Patty on the belt to be rang up and then asked if I wanted a treat too for helping her. I said, No thank you...im just doing my job. She kept insisting. I kept graciously saying no thanks. Then, after I had her order rang, I handed her a customer comment card and said, you can fill this out for me if you would like to do something nice for me. She was so happy. It just feels good to do something so simple and be so completely appreciated. Then, about an hour before it was time to go home, i get this huge order....420.00 and some change. I have never rang up a sale so huge for groceries! Anyway, she told me that she had been in awhile ago (like within the past month) and had trouble writing a check bc our system only allows you to write checks over 100.00 if you have written 3 checks previously. So, anyway, last time she was assured that the next time she came to our store, she wouldn't have a problem writing a bigger check. Last time she had to write one check out of her personal account, one out of her business account and pay the balance in cash. She told me up front that tonight she didn't have extra cash on her. I went ahead and rang the sale. Keep in mind that this lady has lived in this town for 56 yrs and has owned a business in town (beauty sh0p) for most of those years. She is not just some Joe Blow off the street. She is a business owner in our community who has a name to represent. Anyway, the damn check wouldn't go through bc of the amount. So i called the "manager" on duty over. She said she can't over ride a check for over the limit. So, I said, why can't we let her write one check for 100 then another for teh rest of the balance. ANyway, it took several calls to different managers, my persistence to get anywhere. This poor lady had her 5 month pg granddaughter with her, a housefull of out of town guests waiting for her to return with groceries...one of the guests was her brand new grandson who was born July 10 that lives out of town and she hasn't even met yet! So, she was anxious to get home and get her hands on that baby boy! Anyway, we decided to ring up 100 worth of stuff, run the check..it cleared. So i said...shouldnt she be able to write a check for any amount now? The mngr wasn't sure it would go through, so we decided to ring another smaller sale of hers (mind you, her groceries had all been bagged, ready to go, so we have to unbag and rering). The next check for 85 went through. So I said, ok she should be good to go. We unload all of her groceries and i rering. It comes to 258 and some change....low and behold that damn check wouldn't go. I was so mad..not at the lady, but at our store for having this crazy policy and no real managers on duty to override the thing. Talk about customer service. So, i run a check through (blank bc our machine will print the checks) for 100 and it accepted....so what we did was had her fill it out for the full amount of her balance and put in the drawer....even though it was only approved for the 100. Then I cashed her balance out. My drawer will be screwed up, but balance out. Let them write me up or fire me...i have more customer service in my fucking pinky than that whole store has in their whole beings. I told that lady to call tomorrow and speak to the store manager. That is just uncalled for. The lady has technically written at least 4 checks in our store...2 out of personal accout and 2 out of bus. account...she is a local, established business owner and should not be treated so poorly. I had to bust my ass tonight to get her taken care of, and she was apologizing all the while. I told her not to apologize to me. I was doing my job. She said, yes but you don't get paid enough to have to do all this. Boy is she right. LOL. But that's neither here nor there and not her fault. She was mad, frustrated (at the store) and embarrassed. I felt so bad for her. I saw to it that she was taken care of properly. I hope she gives the manager an ear full tomorrow. I am so embarrassed to work for a company who treats their customers so poorly.
But all the mess and ass busting made me feel good about myself. I worked hard and did above and beyond what Kroger expects of me to make a customer happy! I shall give myself a pat on the back for a job well done! And hopefully, i saved the company a good customer. She had said if the check wouldn't go through, she would never shop there again, she would go to VG's which is a local competitor who has customer service down pat, for the most part! Although i must say, i wouldn't blame her in the least bit for going elsewhere after the hassle she had tonight.
Well, I am off here for now...think i will try to catch up on some sleep. I know its not really possible, but its worth a shot. My cousin kept the kids at her place tonight, bc it was easier for all of us....with me getting out so late, jeremy needing to be in bed early for an early start for work tomorrow.
But all the mess and ass busting made me feel good about myself. I worked hard and did above and beyond what Kroger expects of me to make a customer happy! I shall give myself a pat on the back for a job well done! And hopefully, i saved the company a good customer. She had said if the check wouldn't go through, she would never shop there again, she would go to VG's which is a local competitor who has customer service down pat, for the most part! Although i must say, i wouldn't blame her in the least bit for going elsewhere after the hassle she had tonight.
Well, I am off here for now...think i will try to catch up on some sleep. I know its not really possible, but its worth a shot. My cousin kept the kids at her place tonight, bc it was easier for all of us....with me getting out so late, jeremy needing to be in bed early for an early start for work tomorrow.
Friday, July 21, 2006
Just an update
Well, we had a good time at my parents' for dad's bday. Mom made homemade banana cake with homemade banana frosting that was absolutely divine! I refused to bring a piece home for Jeremy, knowing it would never last for him to get a bite...lol.
Dad loved the power washer we all pitched in and got for him. He had to get it right out and start playing with it. I must admit, it is pretty neat. I wouldn't mind one myself. So many things you can do with it, you know, kids and candy...lol, jk.
It's much cooler today....only 80 degrees for a high. And there is a beautiful breeze. And the best part is, i don't have to be to work until 5:30. Of course, I came home to a message on my machine from Kroger, wanting me to come in at 3. But I shall ignore it. I did try calling them back but it was busy several times, so i give up. Im kinda torn though bc it would be a couple hours of overtime. But, at the same time, if i wait and go in at my regularly scheduled time, I get to see Jeremy for about an hour before I go in. And the kids are already at the sitters, so I would have a bit of time with just the two of us. I can't recall the last time that has happened. More often than not, lately, we have had extra kids here, bc my cousin babysits and then other cousins want to stay too. So it will be nice. MOney really isn't everything, right? Speaking of money..i cashed my check and by the time i paid the phone bill, the babysitter, bought us lunch, put gas in the car...i am left with a whopping 20.00...9.00 of which i spent at a garage sale on Disney movies..but get this: I got The Little Mermaid (which I have been wanting forever now), 101 Dalmations (which Makenneh saw advertised and wanted) and Bambi....all for 2.00 a piece! I am soo excited! The Little Mermaid was the first movie i saw at the theater. I went with my friend and her family and I loved the movie. Now, i own it and my kids can watch it! They had many more there, but i had to stop myself. I do need money to get me through the week with.
Well my uncle found out that he doesn't have MS, but has a form of luekemia and sleep apnea. So, for 6 yrs he has been treated for something he doesn't have and not treated for what he does have. Hopefully now he will start feeling better.
Dad loved the power washer we all pitched in and got for him. He had to get it right out and start playing with it. I must admit, it is pretty neat. I wouldn't mind one myself. So many things you can do with it, you know, kids and candy...lol, jk.
It's much cooler today....only 80 degrees for a high. And there is a beautiful breeze. And the best part is, i don't have to be to work until 5:30. Of course, I came home to a message on my machine from Kroger, wanting me to come in at 3. But I shall ignore it. I did try calling them back but it was busy several times, so i give up. Im kinda torn though bc it would be a couple hours of overtime. But, at the same time, if i wait and go in at my regularly scheduled time, I get to see Jeremy for about an hour before I go in. And the kids are already at the sitters, so I would have a bit of time with just the two of us. I can't recall the last time that has happened. More often than not, lately, we have had extra kids here, bc my cousin babysits and then other cousins want to stay too. So it will be nice. MOney really isn't everything, right? Speaking of money..i cashed my check and by the time i paid the phone bill, the babysitter, bought us lunch, put gas in the car...i am left with a whopping 20.00...9.00 of which i spent at a garage sale on Disney movies..but get this: I got The Little Mermaid (which I have been wanting forever now), 101 Dalmations (which Makenneh saw advertised and wanted) and Bambi....all for 2.00 a piece! I am soo excited! The Little Mermaid was the first movie i saw at the theater. I went with my friend and her family and I loved the movie. Now, i own it and my kids can watch it! They had many more there, but i had to stop myself. I do need money to get me through the week with.
Well my uncle found out that he doesn't have MS, but has a form of luekemia and sleep apnea. So, for 6 yrs he has been treated for something he doesn't have and not treated for what he does have. Hopefully now he will start feeling better.
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
A little bit of heaven & Happy Birthday Dad!
My brother's gf, Sara, did a partial pedicure on me tonight. It felt sooo good. She soaked my feet in her foot spa with some soaking crystals, then put on a foot mask that was absolutely invigorating! After that, i soaked them a few mins and then she put on a foot lotion and a cooling spray! It felt absolutely divine! My feet already feel better.
Tomorrow, July 19th, is my dad's birthday! I am taking the kids and going over to see him before him and I both have to go to work. Mom is making his favorite meal...ground beef casserole and she is making a homemade banana cake with homemade banana frosting, plus she is doing a strawberry rhubarb pie! Delicious to both of those! Dad will be happy! We all went in and bought him a power washer that he wanted. Then, after all that good food, Dad and I both have to go to work! UGH!
Well, I hope everyone is keeping cool in this heat, unless of course, you are somewhere where it's not hot and humid! LOL! Today was actually a beautiful day! Not too bad. The kids and I spent the day at my moms and then went to my aunt kathy's and went swimming for a lil bit. AFter that, we came home and had dinner at my brothers. ANd then of course, i got my wonderful foot treatment! I could go for one of those every day! If you have never had a pedicure, I strongly suggest splurging on the treat. They are so relaxing and invigorating. Every momma deserves to be pampered every now and again!
Tomorrow, July 19th, is my dad's birthday! I am taking the kids and going over to see him before him and I both have to go to work. Mom is making his favorite meal...ground beef casserole and she is making a homemade banana cake with homemade banana frosting, plus she is doing a strawberry rhubarb pie! Delicious to both of those! Dad will be happy! We all went in and bought him a power washer that he wanted. Then, after all that good food, Dad and I both have to go to work! UGH!
Well, I hope everyone is keeping cool in this heat, unless of course, you are somewhere where it's not hot and humid! LOL! Today was actually a beautiful day! Not too bad. The kids and I spent the day at my moms and then went to my aunt kathy's and went swimming for a lil bit. AFter that, we came home and had dinner at my brothers. ANd then of course, i got my wonderful foot treatment! I could go for one of those every day! If you have never had a pedicure, I strongly suggest splurging on the treat. They are so relaxing and invigorating. Every momma deserves to be pampered every now and again!
Sunday, July 16, 2006
How do you get ahead
So, I got a job to try to get us ahead. Haha! That's very funny. We were getting 188.00 a month from the state for food benefits. Because I took a part time job, they cut it all the way down to 54.00 a month. Add to that the fact that I have to pay for child care (my worker told me that we might qualify for partial child care but that they take it out of your food benefits...which, i can't afford to have cut into anymore). Also, after I get my 90 days in, i will be paying a lil over 12.00 a week for union dues, along with the gas, something to eat while at work, needing new shoes and clothes....where am i coming out all that ahead? I feel like i just made a huge mistake in getting a job. Our welfare system wants to keep you sucked in. Any time you make a move to try to better your situation, they start penalizing you so that you are still stuck in a hole. i just feel like its a hopeless, helpless situation. Im going away, leaving my babies crying at the door, every day, standing on my feet, dealing with complete idiots each shift, coming home with achy feet and legs, children who won't let me out of their sight for fear that i may leave again, dealing with their misbehavior as they adjust to this new routine, a messy house bc i have niether time nor energy to keep it up, no time with husband, very few opportunities to cook dinner, resulting in more quick crap thats not any good for you...and i don't even come out ahead of the game. Now i clearly see why ppl make a career out of the welfare system. It's so hard to get out and ahead, that they make staying on it the only option.
Anyway, Im just feeling defeated and so i will go before i bring blogworld down with me...
Anyway, Im just feeling defeated and so i will go before i bring blogworld down with me...
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
My day off!
Well yesterday was nice. Had a long day off...seems i was up so darn early. I got to my moms around noon. We hung around there for awhile, visiting with dad before he had to leave for work (he works 2/3 shift). Then, we met sis at a lil diner in town. It was my first time eating there. It is very tiny and quaint. Then, mom and I and the kids went back to moms for a bit. We had bunco last night as well, at moms, so I just took the kids to one of my aunts for that. And as usual, I didn't win anything. I never seem to win. oh, well..its still fun having a night without kids! Ok, really just a few hours, but still.
Today, i work at 430 and until midnight. yucky. I hate working til midnight. But then i have tomorrow off, so i guess, that gives me something to look forward to, although I have to take Makenneh for her headstart physical tomorrow.
Well, im off for now....Sebastian is down for a nap..not sleeping yet, i hear him banging around and making noise in his crib. But, i think I may try to steal a few winks myself.
Today, i work at 430 and until midnight. yucky. I hate working til midnight. But then i have tomorrow off, so i guess, that gives me something to look forward to, although I have to take Makenneh for her headstart physical tomorrow.
Well, im off for now....Sebastian is down for a nap..not sleeping yet, i hear him banging around and making noise in his crib. But, i think I may try to steal a few winks myself.
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
Lunch Date!
I just got off the phone with my mom. My sister has today off too, so she wants us to get together for lunch. Hopefully it works out. With our crazy schedules, I haven't seen my sister much at all in a few months. It's crazy, bc we live like 12 mins apart. But, she was holding down 2 jobs at one time and now has a full time job (retail) and of course, i started a job, so we just don't have same time/days off.
Kitty update...still only 2 kittens. I can feel at least one more in there, but she just hasn't had any more yet. Im sure I will come home later today to more.
Kitty update...still only 2 kittens. I can feel at least one more in there, but she just hasn't had any more yet. Im sure I will come home later today to more.
Kitties are coming!
Yes, I know.....we are bad pet owners. We didn't get our cat spayed and now she is having kitties. So far, she has two. I woke up this morning to Jeremy telling me that we have one lone kitty. It was cute, i must admit. ANd while he will probably never fess up to this, he said it the most boyish voice. It's things like that that just make my gush love even more for him. His soft side. *sigh*
But cats either have labor/delivery easy or they are just crazy. Momma cat is in there purring away through the process. She has two kitties now and at least one more in her belly and yet she purrs.
It is amazing to watch an animal give birth. So far, I have seen puppies and kittens being born. It is just incredible. Of course, aside from being present for my own children's birth, ive never witnessed child birth from "the other side". Ok, unless those birthing shows like Birth Day on discovery/tlc count. lol.
So anyway, im up now and it is only 615am. I am never up this early. It feels kinda good though. Sebastian is still sleeping, Makenneh is at gmas and it's just me. I can hear the birds chirping outside the window and of course the damn hampster running in his wheel. Why do they have to be nocturnal critters? They are so noisy when they run in the wheel.
Well, Im off to surf the web.
But cats either have labor/delivery easy or they are just crazy. Momma cat is in there purring away through the process. She has two kitties now and at least one more in her belly and yet she purrs.
It is amazing to watch an animal give birth. So far, I have seen puppies and kittens being born. It is just incredible. Of course, aside from being present for my own children's birth, ive never witnessed child birth from "the other side". Ok, unless those birthing shows like Birth Day on discovery/tlc count. lol.
So anyway, im up now and it is only 615am. I am never up this early. It feels kinda good though. Sebastian is still sleeping, Makenneh is at gmas and it's just me. I can hear the birds chirping outside the window and of course the damn hampster running in his wheel. Why do they have to be nocturnal critters? They are so noisy when they run in the wheel.
Well, Im off to surf the web.
Saturday, July 08, 2006
No excitement here
Ok, this job is beginning to wear on me already. I got my check..it was like 119.00. $70 of it went to my cousin for babysitting/housecleaning. Not to mention the fact that every weekend I work funky ass afternoon/evening hours that prevents me from doing any family activities like cooking out, visiting, etc. And my kids are only acting worse. They just whine and cry and fight and carry on. It's absolutely horrible. Sebastian doesn't like to go to bed at night and doesn't stay sleeping all night and I feel more exhausted than when I brought the newborns home from the hospital and was sleep deprived. I just want to crawl in a hole and escape from all the unpleasantness that seems to surround me. I think I am going to talk to the manager tonight and ask that I at least get some day shifts on the weekends. either that or days off on the weekends. I want/need some form of a life.
Well, I have to get off here because Makenneh is being a brat, calling Markie dumb, hitting her and being a total brat. We have to get ready and take the girls home. Then i get to come home and get ready for work. JEremy will be home just in time for me to be off to work. Yippeeee!!!!
Well, I have to get off here because Makenneh is being a brat, calling Markie dumb, hitting her and being a total brat. We have to get ready and take the girls home. Then i get to come home and get ready for work. JEremy will be home just in time for me to be off to work. Yippeeee!!!!
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
Fireworks
I took the kids to town to see the fireworks. We went with my parents. My sister invited us to join her and her fiance at his aunt's house. We had the best view of the fireworks show. When they first started, Sebastian cried a lil bit, but as he saw how we were all reacting to them and oohing and ahhinnng, he settled down. Makenneh absolutely loved them. She was clapping and cheering hte whole time and when they were over, she didn't want to leave. She wanted more!
Then the dread came....trying to get out of the parking lot! We just sat, without starting our cars for about an hour, and let everyone else waste their gas and patience trying to get nowhere real fast! I have always said....if everyone would let one person out, the traffic, in situations like that, would flow so much smoother/faster. But instead, everyone wants to be selfish and in a hurry, so nobody gets far.
My feet are absolutely killing me. I HAVE to get different shoes. The shoes I have, I noticed, are not the ones i have had for years, but ones my cousin gave me. they are not flat soles...they have a bit of a heal on them. I never really noticed this before, but then, Ive never had to stand for hours at a time in them either. Towards the end of my shift last night, i couldn't hardly stand on them at all. I bought some insole things before I left work. I hope they will help until i can get new shoes. I don't have another pair that i can wear. Well, mom said she has a pair at her house that she thinks will fit me. I will have to try them out.
And exhaustion. I don't think I have ever been so tired in all my life. I just want to sleep....for a few days straight. I am hoping that i have the first few days of the week off, bc i need it. Of course, i don't get days "off" bc I still have to tend to the kids...but at least, im not on my feet.
Well, im too tired to keep sitting here, typing. So, im off to kick my feet up..until i have to chase after a kid!
Then the dread came....trying to get out of the parking lot! We just sat, without starting our cars for about an hour, and let everyone else waste their gas and patience trying to get nowhere real fast! I have always said....if everyone would let one person out, the traffic, in situations like that, would flow so much smoother/faster. But instead, everyone wants to be selfish and in a hurry, so nobody gets far.
My feet are absolutely killing me. I HAVE to get different shoes. The shoes I have, I noticed, are not the ones i have had for years, but ones my cousin gave me. they are not flat soles...they have a bit of a heal on them. I never really noticed this before, but then, Ive never had to stand for hours at a time in them either. Towards the end of my shift last night, i couldn't hardly stand on them at all. I bought some insole things before I left work. I hope they will help until i can get new shoes. I don't have another pair that i can wear. Well, mom said she has a pair at her house that she thinks will fit me. I will have to try them out.
And exhaustion. I don't think I have ever been so tired in all my life. I just want to sleep....for a few days straight. I am hoping that i have the first few days of the week off, bc i need it. Of course, i don't get days "off" bc I still have to tend to the kids...but at least, im not on my feet.
Well, im too tired to keep sitting here, typing. So, im off to kick my feet up..until i have to chase after a kid!
Sunday, July 02, 2006
Moral Dilemmas
Well, mom is back from her trip to TN with my friend, Tiffney and her mom, Kathy. (Kathy and my mom are good friends). Well, I was finally able to ask mom today how the trip went. The things she told me have broke my heart. I am sick.
I will start with saying that Tiffney and I have been friends since 7th grade, so...like 15 yrs. As some of you may recall...Tiffney has 2 girls and then she also has custody of her husband's nephew through the foster system. They receive monthly checks to care for him.
Well, they have always treated Jordon differently bc he isn't "theirs". But, the things that happened on this trip, in front of my mom, mortify me. For instance, they rented a chalet. For those of you who don't know, its like a house. Anyway, get this....her girls (7 and 3) slept on the pull out couch in the living room. Guess where J slept? In a fucking closet in his pack and play with an air conditioning vent blowing down on him. That isn't the top of it, though. She brought blankets for her girls (their special blankets). Didn't bother to bring one for J. The adults would wake up cold in the morning and her comment regarding J was....oh well, he has a sheet, that's his problem. WTF! You are kidding me, right?! He isnt even 2 yet. How is anything "his" problem? Then, she didn't bring a sippy cup or anything for him. When they went to the restaraunts, she didn't order him anything....and would only order him a water (bc she didn't have the money). Ummmm the state pays them to take care of him and he has to go without or with less?? Now don't get me wrong..he did eat...just from other ppl's plates. When they would go to McDonalds....she would order her girls happy meals but just order jordon a 4 piece chix nugget. So, they get drinks and toys. He saw ariel's pop and was like "Pop!". My mom said, where is his pop? Oh, he didn't get one. My mom was livid. She said, well ill go get him a damn pop then! Kathy said, well there are juice boxes in the van. So, mom gave jordon the juice box. ummm...oh. The carseat! His carseat still has the straps in the bottom rungs. This is a huge no no. They should be in the top rungs for him. so, bc it doesn't fit him right, tiffney loosened the straps up quite a bit, to where he could get out of the damn carseat. May as well not one, right? Then, when he would take his arms out of the straps and or climb out, they were constantly yelling at him. Not his fault...mom's fault. When they went to Dollywood....the girls got treats and treasures...he got nothing! The girls got new outfits and purses...jordon got nothing. When they went on one outting, he sat in a shitty diaper for 5, yes five, hours! His butt was so raw it was bleeding and tiffney wouldn't spend a few bucks to even buy the kid something to put on his raw, bleeding butt! I have 2 kids and the ONLY time I have had to deal with any form of diaper rash is when they have real bad diarhea. Other than that, they do not get diaper rashes! One time she smacked his hand so hard, it was red for several hours!
So, on to the moral dillemma!!!! My heart breaks for this child. My mom sobbed when she got home last night and was telling my dad all of this stuff. My mom said she honestly hopes that God calls that poor little boy home soon, to get him out of that hell hole he is subjected to. As a foster child, she had to sign a paper that would never hit him, period. Well, she does more than hit him. She beats his ass over the most trivial things. OH and back to the McDonalds thing....Ariel threw her toy at him and hit him so hard in the head, it bruised. Now, if he had done that to ariel, he would have had his ass beat. She didn't get in any trouble. So, anyway, the parental rights have finally been terminated on Jordon, meaning that he can now be adopted. They have filed to adopt him. I just think it's sad. he was originally placed with a foster family that has his sister. Tiffney and her hubby fought to get him and for what? For a paycheck? They don't have his best interests at heart. A social worker comes out once a month, as does Jordons lawyer and now the adoption worker. Yet, everything checks out fine with them. OF course it does. They have to call in advance when they are coming out and of course, their best foot is put forward. Nobody sees what really goes on behind closed doors. And if they were this horrible in front of an "outsider" ( my mom), how bad are things when nobody is around? Especially knowing where my mom stands with fair/equal treatment of siblings, child abuse, overall treatment of kids?
I really want to speak up. I do not want them to adopt this child. I want him to have a chance at a normal, loving family life. Every child deserves that. But, I also don't want to lose a friend over it. Of course, a huge voice is screaming in my head....if this would end a friendship, the friendship wasn't worth having. But, in other aspects, she is a great person, definitely a good friend. But, i just can't stand to allow this go on. I will forever live in guilt if i don't do something. I don't think talking to Tiffney will get me far. She is very stubborn, snotty and opinionated. She is like her dad in that ppl outside of the family are not as important. That's why jordon gets treated so bad...bc he isn't part of their core family..kwim?
If we call to make a report of sorts, anything brought up from the vacation, like sleeping him in a closet with a vent blowing cold air on him and no blanket, or sitting in a shitty diaper for 5 hours until his ass is bleeding, they will know where the report came from. I am leaning towards making an anonymous call to the foster care worker or something. I don't want her kids taken away...she treats them decent. It's jordon i want placed in another home. I do think that if i just called about her spanking (using that word very loosely here), that would be enough for them to look into things. But as ive stated, whenever the state comes out, everything checks out bc they don't obviously hit him or scream at him or mistreat him in front of the state workers.
The sick part is, she knows its wrong bc she even has told her 7 yr old to never tell anyone that they hit jordon bc then they would take away all the kids...of course when you instill that fear in a child, they aren't going to talk. no child wants to be taken away from their mom. I just don't see why they want to adopt him when they don't even like him. She talks about being attached to him, but i think it really boils down to being attached to his paycheck. She has said that they counted on his check to make thier house payment when they bought their house and that's why they are in financial trouble right now is bc the state was delayed in getting the checks started. So to me that clearly shows that they are concerned more with his money than doing what is best for him.
OK, i have ranted enough. I need to think this all through. Tomorrow is monday. right now, i have to get off here...I am sick. I have a huge lump in my throat and my heart is just aching. Anyway, please pray for Jordon, for me that I will do what is best and that I will have the strength to do what i need to do.
I will start with saying that Tiffney and I have been friends since 7th grade, so...like 15 yrs. As some of you may recall...Tiffney has 2 girls and then she also has custody of her husband's nephew through the foster system. They receive monthly checks to care for him.
Well, they have always treated Jordon differently bc he isn't "theirs". But, the things that happened on this trip, in front of my mom, mortify me. For instance, they rented a chalet. For those of you who don't know, its like a house. Anyway, get this....her girls (7 and 3) slept on the pull out couch in the living room. Guess where J slept? In a fucking closet in his pack and play with an air conditioning vent blowing down on him. That isn't the top of it, though. She brought blankets for her girls (their special blankets). Didn't bother to bring one for J. The adults would wake up cold in the morning and her comment regarding J was....oh well, he has a sheet, that's his problem. WTF! You are kidding me, right?! He isnt even 2 yet. How is anything "his" problem? Then, she didn't bring a sippy cup or anything for him. When they went to the restaraunts, she didn't order him anything....and would only order him a water (bc she didn't have the money). Ummmm the state pays them to take care of him and he has to go without or with less?? Now don't get me wrong..he did eat...just from other ppl's plates. When they would go to McDonalds....she would order her girls happy meals but just order jordon a 4 piece chix nugget. So, they get drinks and toys. He saw ariel's pop and was like "Pop!". My mom said, where is his pop? Oh, he didn't get one. My mom was livid. She said, well ill go get him a damn pop then! Kathy said, well there are juice boxes in the van. So, mom gave jordon the juice box. ummm...oh. The carseat! His carseat still has the straps in the bottom rungs. This is a huge no no. They should be in the top rungs for him. so, bc it doesn't fit him right, tiffney loosened the straps up quite a bit, to where he could get out of the damn carseat. May as well not one, right? Then, when he would take his arms out of the straps and or climb out, they were constantly yelling at him. Not his fault...mom's fault. When they went to Dollywood....the girls got treats and treasures...he got nothing! The girls got new outfits and purses...jordon got nothing. When they went on one outting, he sat in a shitty diaper for 5, yes five, hours! His butt was so raw it was bleeding and tiffney wouldn't spend a few bucks to even buy the kid something to put on his raw, bleeding butt! I have 2 kids and the ONLY time I have had to deal with any form of diaper rash is when they have real bad diarhea. Other than that, they do not get diaper rashes! One time she smacked his hand so hard, it was red for several hours!
So, on to the moral dillemma!!!! My heart breaks for this child. My mom sobbed when she got home last night and was telling my dad all of this stuff. My mom said she honestly hopes that God calls that poor little boy home soon, to get him out of that hell hole he is subjected to. As a foster child, she had to sign a paper that would never hit him, period. Well, she does more than hit him. She beats his ass over the most trivial things. OH and back to the McDonalds thing....Ariel threw her toy at him and hit him so hard in the head, it bruised. Now, if he had done that to ariel, he would have had his ass beat. She didn't get in any trouble. So, anyway, the parental rights have finally been terminated on Jordon, meaning that he can now be adopted. They have filed to adopt him. I just think it's sad. he was originally placed with a foster family that has his sister. Tiffney and her hubby fought to get him and for what? For a paycheck? They don't have his best interests at heart. A social worker comes out once a month, as does Jordons lawyer and now the adoption worker. Yet, everything checks out fine with them. OF course it does. They have to call in advance when they are coming out and of course, their best foot is put forward. Nobody sees what really goes on behind closed doors. And if they were this horrible in front of an "outsider" ( my mom), how bad are things when nobody is around? Especially knowing where my mom stands with fair/equal treatment of siblings, child abuse, overall treatment of kids?
I really want to speak up. I do not want them to adopt this child. I want him to have a chance at a normal, loving family life. Every child deserves that. But, I also don't want to lose a friend over it. Of course, a huge voice is screaming in my head....if this would end a friendship, the friendship wasn't worth having. But, in other aspects, she is a great person, definitely a good friend. But, i just can't stand to allow this go on. I will forever live in guilt if i don't do something. I don't think talking to Tiffney will get me far. She is very stubborn, snotty and opinionated. She is like her dad in that ppl outside of the family are not as important. That's why jordon gets treated so bad...bc he isn't part of their core family..kwim?
If we call to make a report of sorts, anything brought up from the vacation, like sleeping him in a closet with a vent blowing cold air on him and no blanket, or sitting in a shitty diaper for 5 hours until his ass is bleeding, they will know where the report came from. I am leaning towards making an anonymous call to the foster care worker or something. I don't want her kids taken away...she treats them decent. It's jordon i want placed in another home. I do think that if i just called about her spanking (using that word very loosely here), that would be enough for them to look into things. But as ive stated, whenever the state comes out, everything checks out bc they don't obviously hit him or scream at him or mistreat him in front of the state workers.
The sick part is, she knows its wrong bc she even has told her 7 yr old to never tell anyone that they hit jordon bc then they would take away all the kids...of course when you instill that fear in a child, they aren't going to talk. no child wants to be taken away from their mom. I just don't see why they want to adopt him when they don't even like him. She talks about being attached to him, but i think it really boils down to being attached to his paycheck. She has said that they counted on his check to make thier house payment when they bought their house and that's why they are in financial trouble right now is bc the state was delayed in getting the checks started. So to me that clearly shows that they are concerned more with his money than doing what is best for him.
OK, i have ranted enough. I need to think this all through. Tomorrow is monday. right now, i have to get off here...I am sick. I have a huge lump in my throat and my heart is just aching. Anyway, please pray for Jordon, for me that I will do what is best and that I will have the strength to do what i need to do.
Before I go to bed.....
Work is crazy! They call me every day before my scheduled time, wanting me to come in early. I usually can't because of needing a babysitter. It is just frustrating that they have that much trouble with scheduling. Seems like someone doesn't know what they are doing! Next week, though, I am on the schedule for 39.75 hours! That means that they won't be calling me in early, bc it would put me into overtime. LOL.
Sebastian has another case of diarrhea. Im gonna have to call the doctor and see what is causing it. He can't even sleep, it hurts so bad. Ironically, we got our water report in the mail today and it tested good in everything, including e.coli bacteria, meaning that can't be the issue as I originally thought. So, maybe it's lactose intolerance. I just know how exhausting it was last time we went through this..i can't imagine going through it again, especially now with me working. Im already exhausted...
Speaking of exhausted...guess what?!! I went to bed at about 130am...and I didn't wake up until Jeremy got home (yes, HOME) from work at 130pm! 12 hours of uninterrupted, blissful sleep! It was great! Although i couldn't help but feel like the day wasted! And i also felt bad bc I had told my aunt and uncle that I would be there to get the kids as soon as I got up and around...which i guess..i called as soon as i got up. But, im sure they weren't expecting I meant late afternoon! I didn't think i was meaning late afternoon, myself. They didn't mind, though.
Im feeling a bit envious. Jeremy has a 4 day weekend! I don't get a day off til thursday! And then it's back to work on friday!
An update on my friend Stacy....I talked to her sister today and found out that Stacy's mother in law is going to Germany to help them out! That is just so wonderful! The kids will love having grandma and Jon will definitely appreciate having help with the kids. His mom raised 9, so she can tackle 3! LOL. And I know it will ease Stacy's mind knowing that she is there to help out. Not to mention, it will feel good to have family there! She gets along great with her mother in law. She is one of the lucky ones who got a wonderful family of in laws. They all love Stacy(of course, anyone who meets Stacy loves her..she is a wonderful person!) and all stick together and help each other out. She is very lucky. I was talking to my mom today and she was so happy to hear that Stacy's mother in law will be able to go out there. My mom said she was trying to think of a way she could go for awhile to help out. Motherly instincts kicking in.
Oh..and as I was trying to get out the door tonight for work..i had some challenges. Makenneh started crying and sat in front of the door...saying she didn't want me to go a hurk. She wanted me to stay home. It was so sad. defintely pulls on the heart strings! I had cashed my check and bought some groceries and got some of the ice cream we have on sale....including dora popsicles. So i told Makenneh that I have to go to work so I can buy her things like popsicles. She says, mom, I don't want popsicles. Such a grown up concept coming from my 3 yr old daughter! She will gladly exchange material possessions for mom to stay home. that makes it that much harder to go in. but, in all honesty, this job does help. It's extra money, will make it easier to catch up on bills and afford a house. But, im with makenneh...skip all the fancy stuff...who needs it. But, i DO want a house. This trailer is consuming me.
Ok, its quarter to 3 in the morning...Makenneh woke up about a half hour ago and hasn't gone back to sleep and I need to work on getting her to sleep. I need some sleep, even if i did get 12 hours last night. It felt so good, i can't even explain it.
Sebastian has another case of diarrhea. Im gonna have to call the doctor and see what is causing it. He can't even sleep, it hurts so bad. Ironically, we got our water report in the mail today and it tested good in everything, including e.coli bacteria, meaning that can't be the issue as I originally thought. So, maybe it's lactose intolerance. I just know how exhausting it was last time we went through this..i can't imagine going through it again, especially now with me working. Im already exhausted...
Speaking of exhausted...guess what?!! I went to bed at about 130am...and I didn't wake up until Jeremy got home (yes, HOME) from work at 130pm! 12 hours of uninterrupted, blissful sleep! It was great! Although i couldn't help but feel like the day wasted! And i also felt bad bc I had told my aunt and uncle that I would be there to get the kids as soon as I got up and around...which i guess..i called as soon as i got up. But, im sure they weren't expecting I meant late afternoon! I didn't think i was meaning late afternoon, myself. They didn't mind, though.
Im feeling a bit envious. Jeremy has a 4 day weekend! I don't get a day off til thursday! And then it's back to work on friday!
An update on my friend Stacy....I talked to her sister today and found out that Stacy's mother in law is going to Germany to help them out! That is just so wonderful! The kids will love having grandma and Jon will definitely appreciate having help with the kids. His mom raised 9, so she can tackle 3! LOL. And I know it will ease Stacy's mind knowing that she is there to help out. Not to mention, it will feel good to have family there! She gets along great with her mother in law. She is one of the lucky ones who got a wonderful family of in laws. They all love Stacy(of course, anyone who meets Stacy loves her..she is a wonderful person!) and all stick together and help each other out. She is very lucky. I was talking to my mom today and she was so happy to hear that Stacy's mother in law will be able to go out there. My mom said she was trying to think of a way she could go for awhile to help out. Motherly instincts kicking in.
Oh..and as I was trying to get out the door tonight for work..i had some challenges. Makenneh started crying and sat in front of the door...saying she didn't want me to go a hurk. She wanted me to stay home. It was so sad. defintely pulls on the heart strings! I had cashed my check and bought some groceries and got some of the ice cream we have on sale....including dora popsicles. So i told Makenneh that I have to go to work so I can buy her things like popsicles. She says, mom, I don't want popsicles. Such a grown up concept coming from my 3 yr old daughter! She will gladly exchange material possessions for mom to stay home. that makes it that much harder to go in. but, in all honesty, this job does help. It's extra money, will make it easier to catch up on bills and afford a house. But, im with makenneh...skip all the fancy stuff...who needs it. But, i DO want a house. This trailer is consuming me.
Ok, its quarter to 3 in the morning...Makenneh woke up about a half hour ago and hasn't gone back to sleep and I need to work on getting her to sleep. I need some sleep, even if i did get 12 hours last night. It felt so good, i can't even explain it.
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