I am truly feeling the weight of the world today. I have been bogged down with so much homework, the housework has been neglected and needless to say, that is now boring down on me as well. On top of that, I have the pressure of my uncle wanting to get this move under way. Where ever am I to find time to pack and haul and such? I haven't even had time to stop by the storage place to rent a unit. Then, today I had Makenneh's parent/teacher conference. I left there with tears stinging my eyes. She is a great student, loves to be in class, gets along well with all the other students, always helpful and happy, pleasure to be around, etc. But, she is behind on the academic stuff. I realized as I sat there listening to this that I have really failed this child. She is very bright. But, I haven't worked with her nearly as much as I should have been. We started off doing ok....she knew her colors and shapes around two years old, had a better than average vocabulary around 2. Do you see the common theme there? by 2. When she was 2, I had Sebastian and sank into postpartum depression and well, all my energies went to surviving day to day. I had nothing left for ABCs or 123s. She knows them, she doesn't recognize them as well as she should. Stupid me. Stupid, stupid me. I feel like such a failure, i cannot even begin to explain it. In order to start Kindergarten, they must know how to draw a person, complete with head, eyes, ears, nose, mouth, hair, body, arms, legs, fingers and must be two other things I am leaving out, as it's a point for each thing and there are 12 total points. I can't figure out the other two..but my brain is broken. They also have to be able to recognize numbers 1-20, be able to count to 10 or higher (funny they only have to count to ten or higher, but must visually recognize up to 20), recognize and know their alphabet, upper and lowercase, know their bday, address and phone number, shapes, colors, be able to write their name...i can't think of what else and the paper is in the car. Anyway, when they did the evaluation, she didn't do that well. She could count to ten, drew about a 6 point person, recognized a few letters, only one number, didn't know her bday, addy or phone, which as I explained to them, we did just move and will be moving again...they said the kindy roundup testers will take that into consideration. So, i went out tonight and bought some foam sticker letters and numbers to work with her and got some other great ideas from the teachers and the papers they sent home with me. I am hoping that I can get her caught up. Jeremy and I both did very well in school and learning has come very naturally to both of us. I guess, i just took the whole learning process for granted. I just always "got it". Makenneh hasn't had the chance, though, i suppose. And her stubborn nature sure hasn't helped because when I would try to work with her, a lot of times, she wanted no part of it. There were more important things to do...play. I was so afraid of hindering her by making learning miserable that I never pushed her to sit down and learn. And of course, being consumed by depression meant that I didn't take the time and energy to get creative. Now, I will have to work extra hard to catch her up. Everything has just been so damn overwhelming lately. I feel like I am near a breaking point and one more thing may lead to a break. Then, before leaving her conference, the coordinator met with me to update info and also to inform me that Makenneh's physical is way overdue. Ok, I wasn't aware, but now I am. She had to be snotty as she added in, "Technically, I shouldn't have even let her start here without that." Of course, by this point, I am already beat down enough...the snottiness could have been left out, especially since I was never given a physical form or told of the need to get it updated. I don't like the coordinator for this school district and really hope that we are back in the old district before Sebastian starts, because I don't want to deal with this snot more than I have to.
Nuff of that. My sister got the pictures developed and so I will post them tomorrow. I am beyond ready for bed, so I don't want to wait for them to upload.
Too much of my brain power is being used on school, so i don't remember if i posted about this...but on Tues we went to dinner for my brother's bday. I took Makenneh but the boys stayed home. She was very well behaved and we had a great time. And I don't know if I ever posted that the reason my brother gave for not coming Sunday was because the wrestling tournament ran late and he was so tired and had forgotten. Of course, Makenneh told him that we had a cake for him and candles and he didn't come so she and Uncle Ralphie blew the candles out. It was funny. Anyway, Makenneh had spent the whole evening at the restaurant right by Kaden's side. She just adores her baby cousin. And he loves her too. He especially likes grabbing her hair! LOL.
Well, I am off here and headed to bed. Tomorrow is my father in law's bday so we are gonna try to coordinate going out to brunch (gosh, the money spent in eating out lately with bdays...ugh) and then later in the afternoon is a bday party for my cousin. Somewhere I must squeeze in time for my homework, maybe some house work, and definitely some packing.
2 comments:
I would call the school district and ask what they need to know when they enter kindergarten. Our district did not do any testing before any of my kids started school. School before K isn't required. So, I wouldn't take to heart what her teacher said. And don't feel bad for not working with her, she will catch on. I don't think Zachary (and he's a smarty pants you know) draws a person like that.
Working with her will help. I don't think they can say she isn't ready for K. So, you have all summer to work with her before she starts K.
You have so much on your plate right now! Keep on working hard though! It will pay off!! :)
Oh sweetie, your plate is overflowing that's for sure. The one thing that I think, every time I read about your babies is this, if you could crack their sleeping, everything would change.I would forget all about the teaching until you have those kids in bed, every night by 7.30. They NEED sleep, you need time to youself. When kids are sleep deprived everything goes out of whack.
IF they went to bed at the same time every night you would see a huge difference, in their behaviour, in the way they can learn, most of all YOUR life will change. You will know that every single night you get x amount of hours to yourself, to study, clean, sit and enjoy the time with your husband.
It IS possible, it will take a while and certainly feel impossible for the first two or three days but I promise everything will be worth it. I wish you would make that you first priority, that way everything else will fall into place.
I know that feeling of being so overwhelmed that you hardly know where to start.
The only thing that keeps me sane is knowing that by 8 every night, all the kids will be asleep, I can turn off, choose what to to fo with my evening, it makes the rest of the day much easier to deal with.
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