Well, first off, I have to say that Makenneh did absolutely wonderful for her first day of school! She was perfect. No crying, clinging, nothing. She hugged me, kissed me and said bye. I didn't cry either. I think her excitement about the whole thing is what made it much easier for me.
On the dump side of things...we can't get the home. Why? Because jeremy committed a crime when he was 17 (that was 12 yrs ago) and so they won't accept us. It is so stupid. What he did was stupid, but the high price we have paid and continue to pay is worse. He was at a party that got outta hand nad they punched some holes in drywall and knocked the door down. Bad, yes. Does he go around tearing shit up for the hell of it? Nope! Did he learn from his mistakes? Yep! He has paid his debt to society via incarceration and that doesn't seem to be enough. He has grown up. He is a productive part of society..he works, pays taxes, takes care of his kids, has a family and obeys the law. I am so absolutely pissed that this shit still has to hang over our heads. It just seems that we can't get ahead...we can't better ourselves and i just feel like giving up. I will die being miserable in this hell hole of a trailer we are living in. Jeremy was frustrated with me for wanting to give up...we will find something and move. Yeah...when? is this before or after hell freezes? before or after I have a nervous breakdown? I just want to go puke.
I think im going to call the park tomorrow and ask to speak to the person in charge and see why something he did 12 yrs ago has to still have a bearing on our lives. Technically, after 10 yrs, it's not supposed to be an issue. It wasn't a violent crime, it wasn't a sex crime. I can understand them not wanting sex offenders living there or violent ppl living there...but damn. Im gonna try to hold my head high and look for the light at the end of the tunnel. But every time it begins to shine ever so dimly....darkness closes in on me again. I just don't understand what i have ever done so bad in life to have to go through all this hardship!
to top it off, the check engine light came on in the car today! It is our only vehicle! Oh and jeremy and the kids are all sick with a cold or whatever. Gotta love this weather...80 one day, 60 the next! What next? Shall I dare to ask?
Well, i know it's such a downer, but im feeling quite down right now!
I will post pics and more details of Kenneh's first day tomorrow! I am tired and want to go to bed!
2 comments:
Oh Christina, that sucks! I'm mad for you! Honestly, 12 years ago and how young he was then, it really shouldn't be held against him. Good luck talking to them. Maybe it will help. Is it the park turning you down? Can you call the police (or whoever has it on his record) how long it remain on there and affect his life? Would someone else get the house in their name and then put the lease in their name for a couple of years? I know they don't "allow" that, but if it is a big enough park, how would they know. ;)
Our check engine light (on our current car and our last car) never goes off! It was on our last car from day 1 and the second car after about a year. They hook it up to those machines and nothing. I'd have it checked of course, but it might not be anything.
Zachary did great his first day at preschool. He only cried a little the second day. He thought it was long! ;) I'm glad Makenneh is so happy at school. I do try and talk school up to Zachary. Try and get him excited about the kids. I drop him off and when the bus comes I say, "here come the kids!" and he gets excited, but no one talks to him. I will try today and see if I can get another child to talk to him before I have to go. It might be raining, so I might not get to! :(
Oh NO!!! I know how you feel and it feels so bad when this happens, but I have learned that what usually happens is something better coming along. I hated being stuck in a too small place and couldn't see how we could ever move out but we did, this house just jumped in our faces and somehow we got it.
I will pray and hope and wish that you get your break REALLY soon too.
Post a Comment