Tuesday, October 10, 2006

I can't do this

Work this 6am-11am shift, that is. It is taking it's toll on my body, my kids and just not worth the hassle. It seems so difficult to find a happy medium while being a work out of the home mom. I hate the stress and hassle that comes with it. In order to have a sitter for the kids while working this stupid shift, they have to stay the night at sitters (my aunts, mother in laws, etc) bc nobody wants to be up at 5am to babysit. Not to mention, i can't get up at 330am to get myself and two kids ready to be out the door by 430-5am at hte latest. They will be very unhappy getting woke up, hauled out into the cold morning and it's just not gonna work. I am an insomniac, hate mornings and so i don't get to bed til late, I oversleep, get to work late, just overall not a good thing. I give a standing ovation to all you women who work out of the home. Of course, if we had 2 cars it would help some of the problem, too. But, finding this routine and getting into a groove, just isn't happening. tonight, my kids had to go with my mother in law and Makenneh cried that she just wanted to stay home. It broke my heart. I feel like an ass of a mother. I am supposed to have my kids at home with me at night. I am supposed to be the one they wake up to. I am supposed to be the one to answer their cries in the night. They stayed last night with my aunt Michelle. They did great ( that was the first night they had to stay away for this shift). Then, i picked them up at 1130am, we came home, took naps, bc we were all tired. woke up in time to get Makenneh dressed and ready for school, dropped her off, waiting for jeremy to get home, he dropped me off at my sister's for bunco and then mother in law brought me home and picked up the kids. Then, ill pick them up at 1130 am, do whatever....take Makenneh to school, pick her up, the kids will go back to mother in laws and i will pick them up thurs morning at 1130. I then have friday off. Work the 6-11 on the weekend, have mon and tues off, work 6-11 wed, thur, fri. Then starting sat, i work 2pm-11pm until monday, have tue, wed, thur off, work the 2-11 fri and don't know the next schedule. I think im gonna ask if my 6-11 shifts can be switched to 10-3 or something like that. It will work out much better for me and my family. Ok, im sure you are all sick of hearing my scheduling issues, but it just breaks my heart to deal with this. I sit here, my kids with gma, knowing I should be going to bed, but not feeling able to sleep.

But, i think im gonna go crawl into bed with Jeremy, snuggle up to him and let the rest of world go away until morning. At least, ill try. Sooo....say a prayer that this schedule stuff works out for me and that I can also get some sleep and get to work on time tomorrow morning. Ive worked this shift 3 days and have been late 2 of them.

good night, all

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Christina, I hope that the schedule gets better and that they are willing to work things out with you so your family doesn't suffer and make you all depressed.

Julie Q said...

It is hard to work when you have young children. Very hard. I hope you can work out your hours to somehow work better for your family.

The other me said...

the whole thing sounds like a nightmare....without the sleep! I hope you can et it worked out so this whole work thing actually starts to be worthwhile for you and the family!