I have meant to get over here and update, but to be honest, mental exhaustion has kept me from here. But, i wanted to update and so here it is:
My mom kept the kids tues and I went and picked Jeremy up from his brother's, where he had stayed monday night. We did a lot of talking and crying. We accomplished so much. Some key points is the financial strain boiling over into every other aspect of our lives/marriage, different ideas about parenting and having kids too soon. We got pg very shortly after starting to date and well, it didn't leave much time for just us. Add to that the financial strain and well, it means a lot of extra work. We both agree that we don't want to throw our marriage away. We came up with some things to make it better. We really considered seperation for awhile thinking it would help us out, but when i really thought about it, i don't think so. FOr one, if i have to take the kids and go stay at my parents' house, packing everything up, etc. it will just be more for me and less for him, kwim? But, in order for him to keep his job, he can't really stay anywhere else, bc he wouldn't have a way to get to work, as the guy he rides to work with lives right by here. So, we have to take that into consideration as well. Of course, as soon as we got our marriage figured out and were both feeling better about things, I got a letter in the mail yesterday from our office ..demand for payment or possession. I don't understand as first of all, we paid half of hte rent by the 5th when it was due and it is only the 16th (so only 11 days late for the other half) when they send this. I had severe anxiety attacks all day yesterday. Oh and on top of all that, i don't know if i mentioned my license situation in the last post or not, but monday i got a letter in hte mail that my license is suspended for a ticket i owe. So, we are in a very screwed spot right now. Everything is caving in around us. And i have my sis's bridal shower next weekend. I have already gotten all the paper products and most of hte food is covered, but i still need to get stuff to make taco salad for a large group and also any other odds and ends, last min. things as well as a gift! This weekend is a wedding on sat and bridal shower on sunday. Grrr.
I'm just fighting hard to keep my head above water. If i let myself go under, it may a long time to pull myself back up. I did find a bottle of one of the meds Im supposed to be on (from when we were switching things aroudn to see what would work best) so i think i need to start taking them to help take the edge off of everything. THere is a lot piled on my plate right now, im having bad anxiety attacks and I need something to keep me up.
Well, that's about it from me for now. yesterday was a great day, emotionally. The kids were really good, i kept the house clean and all that jazz. Today, i didn't want to get up, i laid on the couch all morning and now this place is trashed, i feel exhausted beyond death and blah!
3 comments:
Christina, i'm so glad you are staying together. I will be behind any decision you make for you life, but i really hope you and Jeremy can weather the rough spots and get to a smoother place.
Love you and thinking of you.
So many marriages break up, just for a couple not even trying. I'm glad you and Jeremy are working to make it work.
Sorry about the financial problems. There is always something when you have little ones. I remember feeling so low at one point. I couldn't have gotten any lower.
Our park won't accept half the rent. It's all or nothing. You should call your office. Will they really file on the day they say they will? Or if you know when you can pay it, they might take that instead of filing.
I surely wouldn't worry about buying gifts for others. Especially if you are putting so much money into the shower. She should understand that the shower is your gift.
I'm rambling, I will stop.
(((Big Hugs!)))
Oh Christina! I am so glad that you are going to work on your marriage. The money thing...well first you have to put your family first! gifts and showers? Absolutely unimportant if the rent isn't paid....if people can't understand that then they REALLY~ don't deserve your money! I hope you can talk to your family and let them help in a way that will take some pressure off you and Jeremy. I know he must feel as overwhelmed as you do, men have a harder time admitting things and end up just saying the wrong thing! we all feel like running away at times, I hope that things look up for you soon.
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