Ok, this is just a funny email i had to share

>
>We've all had trouble with our animals, but I don't think anyone
>can top this one:
>
>Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how
>legitimate my excuse, I always get the feeling that my boss thinks I'm
>lying. On one recent occasion, I had a valid reason but lied
>anyway, because the truth was just too darned humiliating. I simply
>mentioned that I had sustained a head injury, and I hoped I
>would feel up to coming in the next day. By then, I reasoned, I could
>think up a doozy to explain the bandage on the top of my head.
>
>The accident occurred mainly because I had given in to my wife's
>wishes to adopt a cute little kitty. Initially, the new acquisition was
>no problem.
>
>Then one morning, I was taking my shower after breakfast when I
>heard my wife, Deb, call out to me from the kitchen.
>
>"Honey! The garbage disposal is dead again. Please come resetit."
>"You know where the button is," I protested through the shower
>pitter-patter and steam. "Reset it yourself!"
>
>But I'm scared!" she persisted. "What if it starts going and sucks
>me in?" There was a meaningful pause and then, "C'mon, it'llonly take
>you a second."
>
>So out I came, dripping wet and buck naked, hoping that my silent
>outraged nudity would make a statement about how I perceived her
>behavior as extremely cowardly. Sighing loudly, I squatted down
>and stuck my head under the sink to find the button. It is the last
>action I remember performing.
>
>It struck without warning, and without any respect to my
>circumstances. No, it wasn't the hexed disposal, drawing me into
>its gnashing metal teeth. It was our new kitty, who discovered
>the fascinating dangling objects she spied hanging between my legs.
>
>She had been poised around the corner and stalked me as I reached
>under the sink. And, at the precise moment when I was most
>vulnerable, she leapt at the toys I unwittingly offered and snagged
>them with her needle-like claws. I lost all rational thought to
>control orderly bodily movements, blindly rising at a violent rate of
>speed, with the full weight of kitten hanging from my masculine region.
>
>Wild animals are sometimes faced with a "fight or flight" syndrome.Men,
>in this predicament, choose only the "flight" option.
>I know this from experience. I was fleeing straight up into the
>air when the sink and cabinet bluntly and forcefully impeded my
>ascent . The impact knocked me out cold.
>
>When I awoke, my wife and the paramedics stood over me. Now
>there are not many things in this life worse than finding oneself
>lying on the kitchen floor buck naked in front of a group of
>"been-there, done-that" paramedics.
>
>Even worse, having been fully briefed by my wife, the paramedics
>were all snorting loudly as they tried to conduct their work, all the
>while trying to suppress their hysterical laughter... and not
>succeeding.
>
>Somehow I lived through it all.
>
>A few days later I finally made it back in to the office, where
>colleagues tried to coax an explanation out of me about my
>head injury. I kept silent, claiming it was too painful to talk
>about, which it was.
>
>"What's the matter?" They all asked, "Cat got your tongue?"
>
>If they only knew!