Sunday, April 02, 2006

Their First Birthday Without Her

Today was Grandma Nancy's Birthday. Nancy is my friend Tiffney's late Grandma. She just passed last July and this was the first birthday without her. I couldn't help but feeling the sadness myself. Last year, we all celebrated what we knew would be her last birthday, complete with balloons, delicious food, family and friends. I know today was hard for Tiffney, but even harder, i think for her mom. I suggested to Tiffney that she buy a Bleeding Heart Bush for her mom to plant in Grandma's memory. I havent really had the chance to talk to her, but I hope she was able to find one. Tiff just isn't a plant kinda person.

The first year after losing someone is often very difficult..all the holidays, birthdays and gatherings that you have to experience for the first time without your loved one leaves an empty feeling. This year will mark the 10th year since I lost my grandma and while it is definitely easier now than it was that first year, I still feel that twinge of sadness, emptiness sometimes. I still occassionally have days where i forget that she isn't here with us anymore. Maybe that's just wishful thinking. I would have loved to be able to share the joy of having my kids with her, my wedding, heck, my graduation! She missed all the major milestones in all of her grandkids lives. Same with my grandpa. He passed away 3 short months before my high school graduation!

So, i know how it feels for them and my heart aches today, knowing what they are experiencing. But, this is part of life that we must go through. I know i have missed Grandma Nancy. She always came to all the parties we had...bridal shower, baby showers, birthday parties...she was there! Even after the chemo made her sick...she would be there. Last year, at Makenneh's 2nd bday party, she came. That was just a few months before she passed.

When I think of Nancy, I think of:
The color Yellow. she had a bedroom of her house painted yellow with all matching decor. I always loved this room. it was bright and cheery, just like she was.

Elephants. She was an avid elephant collector. I can remember when Tiff and I were in Junior High, we would be shopping at the mall for her bday gift. Tiff always got her an elephant to add to her collection.

Chinese food. The first time i had ever been to a chinese restaraunt was with gma Nancy, Tiff, her mom and my mom. We went a couple times after that too. Her favorite was the sizzling rice soup at Moy Kong.

Most importantly, I think of the warm and loving person that she was. She embraced everyone and made you feel at home. She would insist on cooking for anyone to stopped by. And it wouldnt matter if you told her you had just eaten. She also loved to help plan big parties. Tiff's parents had big pig roasts in the summer and she would be right in there, making food, buying decorations, you name it. She enjoyed every minute of it. She always made sure that everything was just so. And she had a fridge downstairs that was always fully stocked with all kinds of pop. Going to her house was similar to going to a restaraunt...food and almost anything you could want to drink.

Happy Birthday, Grandma Nancy! This time, you don't even have to add another candle to your birthday cake!

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