Happy New Year

I am stealing a moment to type here! Stacy and I were able to get together today and we had a great time. Makenneh and I met with Stacy and her family and they treated us to games and rides at Huckleberry Junction (same place I had Kenneh's 5th bday party). I would have taken Sebastian, but when I asked if he wanted to go bye-bye with momma, he simply stated, "No thank-you, I stay with daddy." So, i left it at that, so that I didnt have to deal with any crabbiness from the crabby factory. LOL. Neither of us remembered our cameras, but I did get a couple on my phone, though they aren't the best quality.


Makenneh loved the kids and had a great time. She buddied up with Adrianna and of course, she loved riding rides with the twins. She did so well with them. And best of all, she was on her best behavior. I praised her to no end on the way home and again throughout the evening. I am very proud of her.

We chose to spend our New Year's Eve home, peacefully. We made pizza and are watching movies. Makenneh is already ready for bed. Of course, she had a few hours of good fun today, so it's not surprising. I am torn between keeping them up and letting them watch the ball drop or having them go to bed. I know that if they stay up that late, they are probably going to become monsters both tonight and tomorrow. So, I think I am just going to let the chips fall how they fall. But, I did notice that the Jonas' Brothers are co-hosting the show tonight and Makenneh has taken a liking to them. I know she would enjoy the show. But, I just don't think she will make it. We'll see.

For 2009, I hope things improve. I know as a whole, the economy isn't expected to pick up until later this year, but I hope that things will just improve for us, enough so that we can manage to get our own place and be comfortable. We are hoping to be able to get a place in February, when I get my student loans and financial aid reimbursements. I am a bit nervous about it, but we should have enough to pay up a few months rent and go from there. All I can do is pray that what is meant to be happens.

Well, Jeremy is out of the shower and ready to watch a movie, so I am going to get off here.

I wish everyone all the best in 2009!!!! Have a safe and happy night!

pictures

Here's a pic of the grandkids. My two and my nephew, Kaden.
Here's a family picture from our Christmas party on my mom's side. We were beyond ready to go..kids tired, us frustrated. But, the pic turned out okay.

This picture is a hoot. it was taken on Christmas Eve. Makenneh was in using the potty and this is what we saw...she had taken in the kitty and had her on her lap while using the potty. I had to take a pic because everyone should know this is going up on her picture board at her graduation picture. LOL.

A Merry Christmas

Our Christmas was quite nice. I am now ready to get the tree packed up though. I am ready for things to go back where they belong.

We took the kids to see Santa on Christmas Eve. I think we have found a new tradition. I thought for sure it would be very busy and crazy, but it wasn't. It was actually slow and peaceful. We went to Bronners.....THE CHRISTmas store of all Christmas stores. It was sooo worth it because Santa was wonderful and that place has to be the closest thing to the North Pole as you can get. I am currently trying to upload pics from seeing Santa but I'll be darned if it still isn't sooo slow. I just don't have patience for this. It seems that with a new computer and dsl, it shouldn't be this slow. Hmmph! I am just trying one at a time and it is still forever long.

Sebastian wants to eat; we have gotten off any sort of schedule for eating so I need to go forage for something for them to eat. It hink we are doing Tacos for dinner. Ill be back ina few to see if the picture actually loaded.

I am back much later..it is now almost 1am..the picture did finally load, now I am attempting picture number 2.

The temp reached around 58* today. Rainy, too. most of the snow has melted. Except where it was mounded high from all the plowing. Felt so much like spring. If only it were. I am ready for warmer weather.

I have no idea why the pictures are always small when I put them on here. I never used to have that problem, way back in the beginning. If anyone knows how I can fix that, let me know. Of course, if it is too much hassle, I may just well leave them as they are. I don't do hassles too well. LOL.

Anyway, I am leaving the pics at the top, because dragging them down to the bottom is a pain in the rear. I did try to make the pics larger in this window, that just seems to blur them. Ya get the idea though!

I am off here to get to bed. I didn't plan on being up so late. Night all!

PS..i finally checked my grades..another semester of all 4.0s and best of all, I have raised my cummulative gpa to 3.713! I am soooo excited!

Blessings

Some may wonder why I give even when I have little give. I don't question it. I know that even though I am down and out, if i give that last dollar bill to the Salvation Army bucket or weed through the stuff I have to help someone in need, that my needs will always be met. Maybe not right away, but I have never had to truly go without things I have needed. Recently, we found ourselves down to our last 30.00. Jeremy has been putting resumes/applications in almost every day, to no avail. I don't stress...I figure when it is time, it will work out and stressing about doesn't change anything. It won't make the process any better/faster. Well, not last night, but the night before, my dad's niece (who is actually same age as my dad and lives next door to us) called because her car had broken down. She wanted to know if Jeremy would fix her car and she would pay him. We agreed. Well, then that next morning (which was yesterday morning), my uncle, whom we have rather distanced ourselves from to save some drama, called to ask if Jeremy wanted to work with him because he has some big jobs going on and he needed the extra help. So, Jeremy has been working with him. It couldn't have come at a better time. Of course, the fixing the car thing isn't working out too well. She needed a belt replaced, which in a typical car would be about a 5 min fix. However, it turns out that in this particular car, it involves removing the wheel, the well, and a few other major things in order to fix. It turned out to be a couple hour ordeal. He got the belt replaced and car still won't turn over. His suggestion is check fuel filter/pump or for spark. However, to reach the other 3 plugs in this vehicle, you must remove a whole lotta things to get to it. It will be a huge ordeal. He is working on the approach to the garage, out in the car. There is no hoist or anything that fancy here..it's jacks and jack stands. He did what she asked...replaced the belt. The rest will probably have to be done elsewhere, in a garage with a hoist.

And speaking of cars, I have to take mine up to the tire shop today to have a different tire put on my rim. The tire on there is very bad. We don't have money to get new ones right now (has to wait until Feb), but we were able to use one from my old car. I hate having to take it up there myself, but it has to be done. I cannot drive the car until this gets taken care of. I will be heading out soon to get that done.

Mom is out doing her Christmas shopping again today. It is nice to just have me and Sebastian here.

Thoughts are all over the place. I can't wait for Christmas. I know the kids will be happy with the gifts they are getting and I can't wait to see their faces. For the first time since Makenneh's very first Christmas, she isn't getting a baby doll from Santa. She has so many already (figure, one every year from Christmas, plus any babies she has gotten from others for bdays, Christmas, etc and it adds up quickly...we have enough around here for n0w). When I went to storage, I realized that two large boxes right away were toys. I do so figure that we should just get rid of them, because the kids have since forgotten they exist and it is obvious they don't need them. I may go through them to make sure nothing sentimental is in there and then just donate them. I need to do it now, as many people could use toys this time of year. And some of those toys are probably barely used. It would be great if the weather would warm up a tad so I don't have to experience frost bite to get them out of storage though. The other day, while there to get the tree, my fingers were cold despite having my nice warm gloves on. IT is bitter cold.

Ok it's time to get off here and get going. I would like to get the tire taken care of before Makenneh gets home, so I only have to take one child, versus two. Have a great day!

Finally a Christmas Tree

I finally put the tree up today. It was a matter of deciding to go with my artificial one or getting a live one, as my parents usually do. Then it was a matter of me going to storage to dig out my tree. I had forgotten that the only tree I have now is a small 4.5 ft tree..until I got it out of the box and put up. No big deal really....it works out better anyway. The kids weren't that interested in decorating it. They put a few on, but mostly, left it up to me. It is done and the lights are shining. We just wrapped my nephew Kaden's present and put that under the tree. We will see how long that lasts before I have to hide it until closer to Christmas.

I seem to have petered out on my crafting. I still need to make candles and have been putting it off. I have to get it done very soon, as I am running out of time. I have class tomorrow and Wednesday nights and Makenneh's class party on Thurs morning. Other than that, I think I am free. This Sunday we are going to my brothers to make cookies. Christmas Eve we are going to my father-in-law's and my brother and his family are coming here to mom and dad's. I was hoping to be able to be here for most of the time that my brother was here, but my father in law called yesterday and we decided on 4pm because he has to work that morning. OH well, it is what it is. Christmas day we are staying here and my mother in law and brother in law are coming here for dinner. Otherwise, they would be by themselves. That works out because that means on Christmas day, we don't have to go anywhere. I am not going to know what to do. I might feel slighted though. It will be the first Christmas that I don't go "somewhere". Growing up, we always went to my grandparents on Christmas day for a huge family dinner. It was the highlight of the holidays. Gathering a couple of your favorite presents and hauling them to grandparents house where we could play with all of our cousins. That's why I never get these parents complaining about not wanting to have to take kids to a family member's house on Christmas...and that Christmas is all about the kids, so they should be home, to play with their toys, etc. My favorite memories involve getting up Christmas morning, opening all our presents and then deciding which two or three to take to grandma and grandpa's house. We didn't return home til late Christmas evening and I don't regret that. The best memories were made while at grandma and grandpa's house. IMO, i can't understand why parents would want to rob their kids of spending chaotic holidays with extended family. THAT, to me, is what Christmas is all about. Of course, there are often logistic problems that prevent all families from getting together every year...but the people I hear not wanting to get together are ones who live near family. THat's one more reason I am so excited that my sister is having a baby. Our kids will get to enjoy that same fun Christmas tradition that we did. My brother's son won't be included in most of the family holiday fun because they are at her mom's. It is kinda sad that he will be left out, sort of, but that how the cookie crumbles. Really, mostly by my brother's choice, though. His fiancee's mom lives about 5 miles from our parents' house, so really, they could make it work, if they really wanted to. They could spend one half of the day there, and half here or something. But, they didn't choose that option. Instead, they will spend Christmas Eve's here, but of course, my sister and I are unable to be here on Christmas Eve, because we have other obligations. My mom isn't handling that news too well, but there isn't anything anyone can do about it, so you just have to accept it and move on. The girl's family usually gets the majority of the time. In my case, it is certainly true, but mostly because of the dynamics of his family. He isn't too close with his mom and his dad usually does stuff with his gf's family on holidays. So, for me, I have never had to really make a choice. I usually just include mother in law in my family's celebration, because she is single, with no small children at home. She would otherwise spend holidays alone.

Wow, what a ramble about all that.

The snow was gone when I got up this morning. There are little patches of it here and there, but for the most part, it looks like spring out there. Doesn't feel like it though. The wind is whipping like crazy. Stacy had said in comment to my last post that she hopes the snow sticks around for her kids to have fun in when they get up here. It is gone for now, but it most likely will snow again, before they get here and probably even while they are here.

Well, I am sure the little monsters are getting into trouble, so I am gonna get off here and tend to them.

Weeeeee!

We took the kids sledding yesterday. I had to go to my college to sell back a book and right nearby is the park where Jeremy always went sledding as a kid. So, it was his idea to take the kids sledding. They had a blast. I stuck around for a bit and watched, then headed to the college to take care of my business. I returned to find two happy little kids with rosy cheeks. They had had so much fun. Makenneh started to get a little bit whiny, but she also isn't feeling well. I was thinking hot cocoa after a cold afternoon out, but the kids wanted ice cream! Yes, crazy I agree. So, that's what we had when we got home. I didn't take pictures, because I forgot to take a camera.

I am looking forward to the weekend warm up. The temps have been so ungodly cold. The past several days have had highs in the teens. Tomorrow it is supposed to be 40. I can handle that.

Tonight is another family Christmas party..my mom's side. We aren't doing a gift exchange, just getting together for food, family and fun. Everyone is supposed to bring a favorite game and we are going to play games for the evening.

I got my books for next semester yesterday while at the bookstore. I am so excited. It's always exciting to get the new books for my next semester. I really wanted to buy a new book bag, but I just can't bring myself to spend the money, especially when the one I have works. It's just old. Like 18 yrs old. You can't really tell...it's just a plain dark blue bag with lots of nice compartments. The only sign of age is some wearing at one of the seams. It's amazing really because if you buy a bag these days it wouldn't last nearly that long. I admit, the only reason I want a new one is because I would like something bright and cheery and maybe even colorful. But, at the bookstore, the bags range from 65.00 up to 100.00. That's crazy. But, that is where the bag I am using now came from and it has proven itself to be worth every dollar spent on it.

I had our field trip Thursday for my substance abuse class. We went to the local residential treatment facility. I was more than amazed with the offerings of this place. They house addicts who are wanting to recover from their addiction. They turn nobody away. They have men, women and women there with their children. It is publicly funded and they don't force anyone out (unless it's behavior related). As long as someone is serious about treatment, they can stay as long as it takes to get well, even though funding runs out after a year for any one resident. While in treatment, the patient's needs are all provided for. They get everything from shampoo and deodorant to any special requests that are reasonable. The women there with children are provided diapers and formula and whatever other baby/child related needs there are. The facility provides transportation to all appointments no matter how far away they are, they provide counseling, have a nurse practitioner on sight, Bible study, and more. I was just so impressed and touched by the wonderful program. While there, we got to hear two ladies tell their stories and it brought tears to my eyes. Then we went on a tour of the facility. THe building is old and surely could use some reonnovations, however, it seems the money is put into the patients, mostly, which is a good thing. THe best part is, this facility has a 98% success rate. That is very good. But the program is very structured and that contributes to a high success rate.

I have two classes left for this semester...tuesday night is my exam in intro to social work and wednesday is basically just a pot luck for child welfare. We also have to submit our commitment plan which is a plan we have to make a difference somewhere. We have to provide the who, what, where, and when of our plan. It could be volunteering, organizing, helping a mom with respite care, anything that helps out someone in need.

Well, i have babbled enough for one session..lol. I am gonna go finish my rounds on here and then work on some Christmas crafts.

Have a fun weekend and stay warm!

Semester wind down

Only one week left of classes. I am really ready for a break. Although, this semester seemed to fly by rather quickly. I have class tomorrow night, a "field trip" on thursday, then I should only have class on Tues and be down. However, i have a feeling, my wed night teacher is going to stretch class out until next week. So, i may have to go next wed night as well. Fingers crossed that I don't.

I wrapped up all the gifts today and sorted the stocking stuffers. Christmas is done for this family. it feels good to have it all done so darn early. I do still have to finish up some of the crafty gift baskets, though. but, the kids' christmas is down and ready for the tree, which needs to be put up yet. I am going tomorrow to wrestle my tree out of storage. It will be a chore, but it has to be done. I should take Jeremy with me, but it is just easier to stop there on my way home from school, as I pass right by it. I also didn't find Sebastian's stocking in the tote I grabbed. The rest of ours is in there, but not his. I am hoping beyond all hope that it is just in another one of the boxes, that i didn't grab. It was one of the last projects my aunt Dawn was working on when she passed away. It wasn't finished, so my mom stitched it together. It still needs the name sewn on it and the decorative things put on each side. It holds a lot of sentimental value because I was just about 5 months pg when she died and I was so upset because I had thought that SEbastian would be the only one in the family to not have a stocking (I had mine she had made me when i was a kid, she made Makenneh's and Jeremy's mom had made him one when he was little that ironically is very similar in style to mine). Then, as my one aunt was going through Aunt Dawn's craft stuff, they found it and I knew it was meant for Sebastian because we had discussed the colors I wanted her to use and it was that color. So anyway, I figure it has to be in one of hte other boxes.

My daredevil son did a stunt tonight that left him with a bloody, split lip. He climbed up on the roll-top desk and jumped onto our bed, which catapulted him into the totes stacked at the head of our bed, and it busted his lip open. I don't know if I will survive mothering this boy of mine. He has absolutely no fear. It is almost scary at times. a small dose of fear is healthy..it's what keeps us safe. So, he is sure to have one heck of a fat lip for awhile. After he did that, I got him a washcloth and cleaned him up and let him hold the washcloth, while I held him...we both fell asleep. He was laying in my arms like a little baby..it was so sweet. Won't be too long before he figures he is too big for that kinda cuddling. He already reminds us all the time that he is "huge". LOL.

OH and a sweet find. The other day when I went to storage and got some things, I found, in the bottom of one of the bags I brought home, some of the clothes Julie had sent up for Sebastian and the best part is, I found them just in time, as he is about in that size now. I have been blessed when it comes to clothes and such for this boy. I haven't had to buy him too many new clothes, because people have passed on clothes their boys have outgrown. And I have found his winter coat at yard sales, every year, in excellent shape and very cheap. Can't beat it. This year's coat, I had bought at a yard sale, for 1.00. It was missing the zipper. not the teeth part, just the part that zips it up. I took that up to my aunt bev on Thanksgiving and she repaired it and brought it back for our family christmas party this past saturday. What a bargain!!! And then Julie has sent up some very nice clothes. I have to say that everyone is amazed at how nice the things are that you send up here. Nobody can believe that the boots Makenneh is wearing are from your daughters and thay are all grown up. They are in great condition and don't even look dated. It's amazing. And certainly appreciated.

I am on a roll of sorts tonight. Guess Im trying to type through this massive headache that keeps bothering me. Anyway, my mother in law called me last week because they had a girl come in to rent an apartment from a shelter. I guess she was a victim of domestic violence and the police removed her from the home and sent her to a shelter. She was removed from her "home" with nothing but the clothes on her back and her 6 month old son. They have absolutely nothing. The mom works at Walmart and they paid to get her moved into the apartment and paid the first couple months of rent for her. They also took up a collection for necessities for her and the baby. I passed word along in my family and my sister in law went through Kaden's clothes and had a whole garbage bag of nice, name brand, barely worn clothes to pass on to her. Along with baby wash, lotion, powder, blankets, hats, shoes, toiletries, and a garbage bag of clothes for mom. My sister brought out things she had to donate as well, including a brand new sheet set, some washclothes and towels, cups, and other household items. my mother in law (either through work or gma's belongings) came up with a couch, table, chairs, end tables, entertainment center and some other odds and ends and they are going through emptied apartments that people have left things behind. So, it is coming together nicely for this lady. Hopefully she is able to make the fresh start she so obviously needs. Oh and someone donated a pack and play so the baby has a place to sleep. It is such a beautiful thing to see people do such kind things for others.

Well, it is time to get to bed. Right after I take some motrin for this headache.

Happy Wednesday to everyone!

Razz my blood pressure

I posted an offer for my brother's dog on freecycle. He needs a loving home. We have tried all this before to no avail (even with rescue agencies) but I thought I would try again. Boy, did i get hate mail from one poster. I am so upset I could scream. She took it upon herself to assume we were cruel and should be charged for animal cruelty for having an outside dog. HEY lady....we DON"T want him to be an outside dog which is why I am posting him on here to find him a good/loving home. The alternative is taking him to the shelter where he will be euthanized. It may very well come to that because people are leary of pit bulls. I can tell him how wonderful and loving he is but most people are afraid of them. I admit I was until my brother got this dog. He is such a wonderful dog (and that says a lot coming from me, because I don't like dogs much). So, anyway, I do hope someone responds to take him because I want for him to have a home and a family. My brother doesn't exacty know that I have posted him, but he isn't the one who has to feed him, keep him watered and feel bad because he is outside when he is very much a family oriented dog. I lose sleep over it and feel so bad about it. So, i figured that seems how my brother will never be able to take him back because of their line of work (they run an adult foster care home which doesn't allow pets at all). He can't live outside indefinitely. Just doesn't work. And with 4 adults, 2 kids, a dog and cat (and her kittens at the moment), there isn't room for another dog in the house. There isn't room for the people without being cramped.

Other than that.....Tonight was our Christmas bunco. It was nice to get out and have some fun. I didn't win anything but did get to bring a gift home because we exchange gifts for our Christmas bunco. I got a candle set and a body spray set. This Saturday we have a Christmas party for my mom's side. We aren't exchanging gifts, just getting together for family fun. We are all going to bring our favorite games and spend the evening playing.

I think I am pretty much done with Christmas shopping. I have to get my mom something yet, but i don't know what. Most people are getting homemade gifts, as I mentioned before. However, my mom and I are doing them ourselves and it seems silly to give her the very things she is making alongside me. So, I am thinking about getting her some slippers (her feet are always cold) and then maybe doing up a basket of relaxing stuff of different sorts. I got my dad a Bible tote to put his Bible in along with all his choir stuff and other booklets and fliers and ink pens and such. I hope he likes it. He certainly needs one. He has a stack of stuff he carries back and forth to church. For my brother and Sara, I am doing up a Mexican themed gift basket with homemade taco seasoning, homemade fiesta dip mix, taco sauce, gonna put some taco shells, tortilla chips, and then some little dishes for the dip and taco toppings. I am also giving Sara a bath salt, body scrub, soap set. My sister and Ralph are getting a movie themed basket with a movie, popcorn, homemade hot cocoa mix, and then the bath stuff for my sister, some work gloves for ralph (bc i got them for 3/$1 on black friday). Jeremy's brother is getting a movie, soup in jar (he loves soup), hot chocolate mix, popcorn. I am so excited about this Christmas. I think making the gifts homemade and doing things like that are so much fun and make it all so much more meaningful.

Well, I am going to finish up on here and get to bed, in case Makenneh has school in the morning. We are supposed to get 4-6 inches or so of snow overnight...it started snowing, turned to rain, and then is supposed to freeze overnight. Sounds like it could make for trecherous roads come school time. Stay warm!

A sort of tribute

I don't even know what you would call this post, but it has been on my mind to put this out there for some time and it is time I do so. Every so often, we meet someone who inspires us, who makes our lives better just by touching it. These sorts of special people are often the unsung heroes of our lives. They don't get nearly the recognition they deserve. So, tonight (or rather, this morning, would you look at the time..it's after 2am), that unsung hero is getting some recognition. She probably doesn't even realize how amazing she really is. These types of people are humble. They are kind by nature, they don't do anything for reward or praise. It's done out of the generosity and kindness of their hearts. It's just simply who they are. She may not even realize how truly amazing I think she is. I have told her from time to time, but not nearly as often as I should. And probably not as adamantly as I should. The problem is, finding the words to express these thoughts without sounding almost creepy. LOL. But, seriously, this person has been a part of my life for quite a long time and we have experienced some of lifes greatest tragedies and joys together. Time and space has distanced us, but irregardless, I know that I could pick up the phone right now and call her and she would lend a listening ear, a helping hand, words of comfort. I know that should I really need something from her, she would do her best to provide it. I know that even if all the rest of the world turned their backs on me, she would be the last one standing on my side. I know that I can stand before her without being judged. I know that I have been blessed to have met her and know her. And I believe that through her (or in her) I can see God. I can see Him shine through in her very being. Her unfailing faith, her devotion, her very existence. Besides my grandma, I haven't met another person so full of faith. When most people would have given up, she goes on, knowing He will see her through. But that's not all. Most of it, I cannot even begin to put into words, because there are no words to describe. She is a light in a world that can often be dark and dreary. She is a gentleness in the midst of a storm. She is strength in a moment of weakness. She is peace in the midst of choas. She is a friend, a mother, a wife, a daughter, a sister. And she always does her best to fill all those roles.

I seriously cannot say enough good things about her and I hope that she realizes how very special she is.

And in case she hasn't figured out yet who I am talking about, Stacy, it's you!!! My "oldest" friend. Oldest in that, we have been friends since 5th grade. The years have brought us tears and laughter, sadness and joy. We've come together and drifted apart, but I have always known that I have a friend in Stacy. I know that no matter where this crazy life may take me, she will always be but a phone call (or email) away. Her strength amazes me.

Stacy, I hope you know that you are an amazing person and that your very life is a true testament of God's love and blessings. I am thankful that our lives intersected all those years ago and I am glad to call you friend!

Busy day

we have two christmas parties today. One at 430 and one at 5. Going to be busy. We have been busy doing crafts as most of our gifts this year (besides for kids) are going to be handmade. It has been a lot of fun and we think we should start doing these for craft shows, because they are inexpensive and easy to do. Not to mention, fun. We have been making body scrubs, bath salts, soaps, bath oils, soup in a jar, hot chocolate.

It has been super cold around here lately. The temps falling into the teens at night and only rising to the twenties during the day. Add wind to that and it makes for a freezing experience. And i still need to go to our storage unit to get out Christmas wrap stuff and stockings and dig for Jeremy's winter coat. WE still haven't found that. Grrrr. I shiver just thinking about having to do that.

My sister went to her ultrasound appt the other day and It's a Girl!!!!!!! I am so excited. I would be excited either way. The baby is growing well and everything is going good. The only thing is she has been having wretched headaches the entire pregnancy and they get so bad she can't move. They last for days sometimes. Her OB sent her to a neurologist and they wanted to do an MRI. THe only thing is, in order to do an MRI, she would have to sign a waiver on the baby. The neurologist said that he doesn't think it is anything serious but just ordered the MRI to be safe to check for lesions or tumors or any other abnormality. But, after learning that they would have to sign a waiver on the baby's safety, they have declined it. They have been less frequent lately and hopefully with relaxation techniques, tylenol 3 in severe cases and rest, she will be ok. She is going to discuss it all with her OB when she goes back into him and I suggested she even discuss it with her family doctor (who used to do OB care until recently), to get more opinions. So, please say a prayer that everything works out. It is a potentially scary situation bc if there were something wrong with my sister, you don'twant to risk her health but at the same time, you don't want to tests that could be dangerous to the child if they could wait until she gave birth. Let's hope and pray it all works out.

I think that's enough for now...i have lots of things to get done before we hve to get ready for these parties! ENjoy your weekend!

stealing a moment

Things have been crazy around here. We went up to my grandma's for Thanksgiving. That meant a little over two hours to get there and the same to get home. A lot of time in the car that day, but it was a great time. I got up wee early friday morning for the crazy shopping spree. I have to say taht I have NEVER seen such ugliness in my entire life and hope to never see such again. We went to walmart first because they had the best deals for what I wanted. No parking, no carts, no room to breath. IT was rediculous. But that wasn't the bad part. It's a 24 hour store, so ppl are there, plenty before the 5am doorbuster deals start. at 5, the place became a dangerzone. I literally looked up and saw hands, fists and boxes flying in a massive clump. It was the most wretched scene ever. Grown people acting like imbeciles. Blech. I stood back and let all hell break loose. Then, nonchalantly gathered the things I wanted and proceeded to check out. Because of the chaos, I really didn't get all the things I had wanted, but i wasn't willing ot fight the crowds. Saving a few bucks just wasn't THAT important to me. Overall, we had a good time shopping but the stories I have heard about this black friday make me sick...like the one guy who worked at a walmart in new york and was trampled by shoppers. That is disgussting. No excuse anywhere for the that kind of behavior and I hope like all hell that those stupid, ignorant, self-absorbed people who so thoughlessly trampled another human being lose sleep for the rest of their poor, pitiful lives over their reckless, thoughtless, disgusting behavior. Yes, it sickens and saddens me that people would behave that way all in the name of saving a few dollars. Life cannot be reduced to a dollar amount and yet those shoppers took a life for the sake of racing to save a few bucks. Yuck.
End tangent.

We have been dumped on with snow. I hate driving in it and was really hoping my class would be canceled for today but no such luck. The schools were closed for the kids but my college didn't close. I was actually pleased to find the roads in fine condition by the time I left here at quarter to ten this morning. It wasn't a bad drive at all.

Oh to back track....Friday evening Makenneh got sick....throwing up and diarrhea. All day saturday I was wretchedly sick. i slept all day, except to get up and race to the bathroom. Today, Jeremy had it and this evening, my dad started coming down with it. He came home, had dinner, plowed the driveway and was in bed by 630. I hope we are done with the bug after this.

Well, I am gonna stop here for now, because I want to finish making my rounds on here and get to bed. Stay warm!

snow and stuff

We have enough snow to make a snowman and that's what the kids did today. I spent most of the day shopping and don't get too excited. It wasn't really exciting kind of shopping. I started out running to walmart to get a few things we needed. I was on my way home when my sister calls and wanted me to go there with her. So, I turned around and headed back. She needed a few things, as they are trying to get the house ready for their new addition...making do with limited space. It ended up being a 5 hour ordeal. And I had forgotten that one of the things I had to pick up at walmart was the buns for dinner....we were going to have BBB beef sandwiches. Well, they had to switch it to roast because I wasn't here with the buns. Oh well, at least they got to eat. haha.

I am in another one of my anxiety attacks. I have been this way much since I got home. I was stressed about having been gone so long, for one thing. Stressed bc Jeremy wanted ice cream and mom bitches when we get anything like that because my dad will eat it til it's gone and then be grumpy bc the of the sugar overdose. Things like this is part of my stress. I feel like I am literally being torn in two separate directions. Jeremy pulls me one way (like wanting ice cream) and mom the other (not wanting it here). Making dinner is redicilous. Jeremy absolutely hates onions. My family loves them. I can never please everybody. I can never make everyone happy. It is getting old. If we had our own place, I would make dinner to suit my family and tht would work. I wouldn't have to worry about omitting onions, bc I am not that worried about going without freakin onions. It's not the end of my world. Just all these little things piling up and sitting on my chest like a gosh damned elephant. I realized tonight that I am going to have to go into my doctor and see about getting on some sort of medication for these attacks. I don't think I need a daily med like prozac, but rather an occasional med for when I have the attacks. The downfall to that is, I think the only pills for that cause drowsiness. Or there's always alcohol. LOL. I had to throw that in there because I am writing my term paper on alcoholism. It does actually reduce both physical and mental tension. That's how it can become an addiction for some people. Anyway.....

I was hoping that in writing here, my heart would slow down and settle down. It is working a little bit. It would probably help to get Makenneh to bed. She doesn't have school tomorrow, or again until Dec. 1st. She is sitting her being very good, coloring me pictures. However, she keeps asking me what colors she should use nad while she is just trying to be socialable, i need some peace and quiet. I am going along happily with her game for now. She has been such a good girl lately, I am so proud of her.

I have to find an activity to get Sebastian involved in so he isn't wanting to sit around and play video games all day. He does not want to get out and play, he doesn't want to read, he doesn't want to do anything but pway. UGh. have i ever mentioned that i despise video games? Yes, i do. Maybe he will grow up to be a video game designer and make big bucks?! Just maybe it will be put to good use.

I need to start my exercize video back up. I was doing it every day for awhile but my vcr broke and so i was unable to do it. Now we have a working vcr so it's time to get back into it. It may just help this stress. OK not may, it will. I would feel better all the way around. And the workout is actually fun. The name of it, for anyone interested, is Walk Away the Pounds, with Leslie Simmons. It is something that anybody can pretty much do. If I can get my big butt moving and huff through it, most anyone could. She focuses on doing what you can and just "walking" through the exercizes you can't master. I refused to do that, so I sucked it up and did it all. "Look at this fat chick keeping up with the rest of ya!", as I worked out with my mom and aunts. LOL.

Well, I am gonna get off here and do something, all tht thought about exercise has made me tired. LOL, just kidding. Funny thought though, huh?!

I am so proud

I had the first parent-teacher conference tonight for Makenneh. I have to admit that I was a bit nervous going into it. Basically bc the last one I had last year, while she was in Headstart, left me feeling like a huge heap of failure with tears down my face. They had told me that she would probably not be ready for Kindergarten and would have to do a junior kindy or whatever they called it.

Fast forward to tonight. Her teacher loves her (as did last year's, but still), she is a great student, respectful, eager to learn, diligent, happy, and so forth. She is doing quite well. In fact, in math, she should be at a .30 and she is at .45....so ahead of the schedule. She gets that from her daddy. Along with her attitude, i might add. She is slightly behind in reading readiness...she is at .24 and should be at .30. We have to work on that, but she has come a long ways. Teacher says she has made remarkable progress so far this school year. We have to continue to work on letter recognition and sounds and reading and rhyming. She does fairly well at these things, but not as well as she could. More practice and she will get it. She loves to learn and that is a huge plus. She also loves school. I mentioned to her teacher about what I was told last year and she was amazed. She couldn't believe it. I told her that I enrolled Makenneh in kindy, fully expecting her to have to repeat it. Her teacher said if she were to say right now, as it stands, she doesn't think that would be the case. I am just soooo proud of that girl and I let her know as much when I got home. I showered her in praise and hugs and kisses and "great job".

Sebastian, I just don't know about that boy. He is a sweet thing but he is a whiner. I can't stand it. Persistant little devil, though. It should pay off for him in the future. He is a new generation of video game addicts. He thinks that life revolves around such things. I have been drastically limiting his privelege. It is rough. ALL day long he is at my side, "I wanna play, I wanna play, MOOOOM, i wanna play...." until I want to run down the road until I collapse from heart failure (which wouldn't be too far, really). The new deal is, if they are good during the day, they are allowed 15 mins of electronic delight (makenneh likes to play on computer, he on the 360). Their behavior determines how long they actually get. If they do something amazingly great, we will add a few mins to their time. If they do something not so nice, time will be taken away or the privelege lost all together for that evening. The reward will come after dinner, just be wind down time for bed. It was easy to explain this to Makenneh and I think she gets it. She was super today. Sebastian doesn't understand reasoning so well right now, so I got him whining at my side all day. He did play for some time with his train set that I got back out today. It had been stowed away, so it was like getting a new toy. It takes all I have to stick to this plan because I seriously can't stand the whining. Just make it stop for pete's sake. Not to mention, it's not just me I have to worry about going insane from it....we live with my parents. They don't have as many patience for such things. They haven't had little kids in a long time. So, i try to keep things tolerable for them, beings that it is their house and all. At the same time, I can't give in to him because he seriously wants nothing to do with anything that isn't video games. I wanna smash the thing, but it's Jeremy's and well, that wouldn't make him too happy.

I am starting to feel less stressed about Christmas. I am actually okay with whatever works out. I look forward to buying what we can, enjoying what we get and just relishing the wonder of it all.

We are going up to my grandma's for Thanksgiving. Most of my family is leaving Wednesday and staying the night. We plan to just go up for the day Thursday. I have class wed night until 9pm and I want to go shopping Friday, so would have to be home thurs pm. I haven't completely broken this news to my mom yet. She will come up with a million reasons why we need to just ride with them up there. I seriously look forward to the overnight time alone. I love my parents dearly, but this living arrangement is not working out at all for me. I have been having anxiety attacks for weeks now. They get so bad that I feel like my heart is going to explode if i don't suffocate first. On more than one occasion, I have had to go lay down and do relaxation therapy to calm down. My mom is very negative and very critical of stupid stuff. I dont' know how to exactly explain it. I have thought about posting about this for some time now, because Lord knows I need to vent. I haven't, for fear of her somehow finding it and reading it. I would hate to think that I hurt her feelings. But, the truth is, I need a way to release this stress before it kills me. She and I are like day and night as far as our coping skills. Where I see light, she seems doom and gloom. Where I am thankful for what little I do have, she is worrying about what she doesn't have. My glass is half full, hers is well, damn near empty. Just ask her. It's dragging me down. I have to fight so hard to avoid the depression anymore. I feel it creeping up on me and I have to work hard to stay one step ahead of it. She has started going to church with my dad, hit and miss. I really hope that something touches her and she realizes that she has so much to be thankful for and that life is about those we love and it's important to be thankful for what we have rather than want what we don't. I just don't know. I do know that I am ready to have my own place and be able to relax.

On that note, my uncle says that he has a job offer in a neighboring area and if he gets it/takes it, they will be moving and he still has several months left on his lease of his apartment..ew could live there. We have already been looking into moving to that complex because with Jeremy having been earning cash at his last job, there is no proof of employment or anything and the landlady at this complex doesn't worry about. And, my uncle takes care of the maintenance and leasing. So, it is really our only option if we want out any time soon. getting his place would just give us a larger home, nicer yard. Otherwise, we have to go with the only available unit and it's smaller/not as nice. So, I am hoping his deal works out so that we can go that route. I guess the business proposition gives him 30 days to make a decision, so we shall know by the end of the year. say a prayer!

Well, I am going to head to bed. I know, nothing like cutting htoughts short, but Jeremy just came in here nad I wanna chat with him a bit before going to bed.

Take care

I think I'll stop procrastinating...

Tomorrow! LOL. I am such a procrastinator it's horrible. I have an 8-10 page formal paper due in a week and a half that I just started tonight. I know, that's not too bad. Of course, as I have been working on it for hours, I was thinking it was due this Tuesday. It wasn't until I just started typing this post that I realized we don't have class this Tues, it's due the following Tues. Thankfully. I am having a hard time with it. I just got it all typed up and pulled out the directions for it and well, I'll be damned if I didn't do it right. She included all these points she wanted us to cover and I only covered a handful of them. That's what I get for not looking sooner. OH well. I decided to call it a night and try it again tomorrow. Or the next tomorrow.

I went and got the last of the stuff we need for Thanksgiving dinner. Just a few things. We are going up to my grandma's. I think that Jeremy and I and the kids are just gonna go up for the day. it is hard staying up there with younger kids because gma's house is full to the brim and mostly of pretty things that children shouldn't play with but that are right on the floor or otherwise in their reach. Not to mention, sleeping arrangements can be tough, with a large crowd. And it will give us a day or so to ourselves here, as well, which is much needed. I haven't broken this news to mom yet, but she should be fine with it. We will be there ALL day.

I am still waiting on the additional funds I requested. I should be getting them soon. Keeping my fingers crossed.

The weather outside is frightful. The high today was supposed to be 29*. I am not sure what it actually reached, but I mostly stayed inside. For whatever reasons, I am not as tolerable of the cold as I used to be. I never cared much for cold, but this year, I just shiver when I am outside and I have trouble shaking the cold once I am back indoors. I also don't mind that the woodstove keeps it a very cozy 85*-95* inside. Before, that would have killed me. OK, not literally, but who could breath with it that hot? Turns out, I can manage. I don't care to be right out in the living room, nearest the source of such heat, but I love having it warm and cozy. Maybe that's why I am not doing the cold so well. Spoiled by this heat inside. Mom used to always keep the thermostat rather low (never over 68* and more likely to hover around 65*). So, this is a new concept in this house.

I could talk politics for a brief moment. I wasn't shocked to read in the paper that Obama is filling his cabinet with insiders. Go figure. Some change from the usual washington politician crap. It doesn't give me a bunch of hope for any other promises. Time will tell of course. I am surprised because truth be told, he is a politician and they all tell you what you want to hear during an election year. They know what works. When the chips fall, they all fall back on the "Good ol' Boy" system because well, it's all they know. That's the end of my rant on that.

Mom has been looking up all kinds of homemade gift ideas and I promise I am going to attempt some of them. I really have to this year if i am to pull any kind of Christmas off. I found a cute candle recipe that makes these neet, airy looking candles. Also milk baths, bath salts, bath oils, and the like. I can do up cute baskets of bath goodies. I am kinda excited to get started.

Well, I could ramble some more and empty my head, but I think i am ready for bed.
Later~

It's not all bad

I have had battle after battle over so many things these days. But, it's not all bad. I will try to back it up some so it makes sense.

I think I told you all that Jeremy's boss fired him for taking that friday off so we could go get a car?! Well, he also said he wasn't paying him. Jeremy contacted a lawyer to find out his legal rights and the best way to go about everything. Jeremy tried calling the boss for days and days, ever since he was fired. The boss doesn't answer or return his calls. HE calls his cell and office phone. So, yesterday, determined to get his money, jeremy would call, let it go to voice mail, hang up and call again, back to back to back. He did this for about 40 mins. Still nothing. Then, Jeremy gets a call from my uncle who works for this guy and apparently the boss called my uncle and said, "Tell him to quit calling me, i will have his money next week." So, Ken calls here and tells JEremy. Jeremy hated to put my uncle in the middle of it, but has no choice given that the boss won't answer jeremy's calls. So, jeremy tells ken, "Tell him that next week isn't good enough and if I don't have my money THIS week, I am proceeding with my lawyer." WEll, my uncle just called me and said he is on his way with Jeremy's money. The boss decided it best to pay Jeremy the money he owes him. Now, my only hope is that it is the full amount. I will know in probably less than 20 mins.

Of course, because we didn't get his check that week, our bills have fallen behind. We scraped what we had left to make the loan payment but that left no money to pay storage. I was afraid our stuff would be taken. I called the storage place and explained our situation and he was very understanding. So, as soon as I get this money, I have to go up and pay him.

In the midst of all this money dilemma, I called on my student loan, because I had only received half the funds and it looked as though the other half was set to be dispursed next semester. I found out that I must have checked the box for fall and winter, meaning they split the funds. So, I had to go up to the school and talk to someone in the financial aid department and I was told I could apply for more funds and thankfully I married a guy with a last name closer up the alphabet list, because if i applied that very day, I should be able to have my funds within 2 weeks! Hoorah, things may just get better. I haven't let out the sigh of relief yet though, because the money isn't in my hands just yet. But the lady seemed to be very knowledgeable and she told me that what would happen is after I applied, they would receive the app within 24-48 hours. At that point the head of the dept would do her stuff and the check would be cut. woohooo.

Of course, my computer crashed the other day, leaving with me no means to do homework at all at home. I have been running up to teh computer lab to get papers typed and so on. What a pain. Well, mom asked if I would like to go get a computer and she would pay for it and I could pay her back when i get my money. So, we went yesterday and got a new computer and all the things I would need for it and we are back up and running. I must tell you that it is sooo nice to have a computer that moves at a reasonable speed. And then, I was shocked while at the store, that monitors are all flat and huge and wow. The one we wanted was out of stock so the sales clerk gave us a larger one at a lower price. I made off with a 20 in. LCD screen monitor for $120. I am quite pleased. Although, I still look at this screen and wonder just why it needs to be so large. Jeremy can answer: so he can watch movies and videos and just look at that picture, would ya?! Ya, yah, it's nice, but just seems a little over the top. LOL.

So, this is my very first brand new computer. It's all nice and black and sleek and shiny and I can't believe it is MINE. I really wanted a laptop but Jeremy insisted I would get more bang for my buck in a desk top. I figured I would go with the desktop with hopes that sometime in the future(near future, i hope) I can splurge on a laptop. It needn't be anything fancy...just allow me internet access and microsoft word and I will be a happy mite.

This week I had two separate presentations to give for two separate classes. I am glad to have them over with. Now, I have a paper to write on an interview with a social worker. I am having a slight problem finding a social worker, simply because I don't want to have to run all over hell's half acres to find one. A girl in one of my groups said that her mom owns an adoption agency if i called there and said she referred me I would most likely be able to get an interview with one of their social workers. I called and left a message and haven't heard back yet. I am getting a bit antsy because the paper is due Tuesday. I then decided to call my uncle and get the number to my cousin because her husband has a Masters in Social work and they recently moved back up here. I will call him sometime today to see if i could interview him. I am a little nervous simply because I have only met this guy once and it was very brief. He won't know me from adam and I will be calling his cell phone. LOL. I hope that he has finally found a job in his field, because the last I had heard, he hadn't.

So, enough boring you with the mundane details of my life. Makenneh brought home her progress report last week and she is doing fantastic. I was very nervous pulling it out of the envelope because I was afraid it wouldn't be that good. I was very shocked. They grade 1 and 2. 1 is meeting expectations, 2 is needs more practice. (gosh how they have changed from my days in school. The grade school report cards were very detailed.). Anyway, She got all 1s except 2. She needed more practice on her phone number and shapes. I couldn't believe the shapes because those were the first things she learned, back when she was about 2.5. She knew them all and could recognize them. I don't know what the issue is there. We will have to keep working with her on them and see what hte problem is. I do know that she tends to say rectriangle (that's how it sounds) when she is saying rectangle. So it could be a mere speech issue...her not saying clearly or teacher misunderstanding her. I have conferences coming up and we will definitely be talking about it. As far as the phone number, she had it memorized the day she brought the report card home. Go figure! She now knows it without fail. So, she is doing very well as far as school.

And my uncle just showed up with the money...in an envelope. I opened it after he left to discover that it isn't the full amount. Grrrrr! So, JEremy is back to trying to get ahold of the idiot.

One thing that drove my brother in law to run for State Rep was the idea that someone needs to stand up for the little guy. He was quoted as having said, "What about the little guy? It's time someone stands up and fights for the little guy!" He is right. I am that "Little guy" and I am not going to sit by and let someone continue to do this. THe owner of this landscape company, Mike, is a real jerk. He hires guys at 8.00 an hour, pays them cash, no benefits, nothing and then when he bids the concrete jobs, he charges the companies he does the work for prevailing wage is around $18 an hour. So, he is making out just in the wages alone. He charges the companies for labor that they don't do, such as sanding. They rarely ever sand the cement, yet he bills the company for it. The list goes on and on. While he is making mega bucks, the guys who make his business possible can't even feed their families or keep a roof over their heads. And this time, he stepped on the wrong "little guys" toes.

My cat had her kittens 5 weeks ago and they are soooo cute. She only had 2 that lived (out of 4). One was still born and one was born with his intestines on the outside, so didn't live long. THe two left are black and one is ever so fluffy and as lovey as she is fluffy. My mom wants to keep that one. She snuggles with it every day. She wants the kitty but she hates having to take care of animals (scooping litter, buying litter, feeding them the works). So, she will keep the kitty but it will more or less be ours. And she may end up having us take it when we move. Which is fine with me, because if i had my own place, i would keep this kitty anyway. She always says she likes animals until they start costing her money and causing her work. LOL.

Well, I have a million other things I need to be doing, so i am going to get off here and get to work.

The big Day

We are less than 12 hours from Voting Day!!! I am tired, frazzled and ready for it to be over with. Tomorrow, we get to be at the polls all day long with our signs. Most places will not allow you to place a sign near a voting area unless there is a body with it. Stupid rule if you ask me, because it means you have to sit, all day, doing nothing but watching a sign. But, at least they are predicting nice weather for tomorrow. It's actually supposed to be around 70*. I will gladly take it. We have to take the kids with us because we don't have anyone to babysit. It shall prove to be quite exciting. Hopefully all this hard work and dedication pays off and he wins the election. If not, at least we all learned new things along the way.

I have a big paper due Wednesday night that requires critiquing a research article from a social work journal. These articles can be found online through our college's library website but the teacher insists that we must actually go to the library and find it and copy the article and so on. Not a huge deal if you have a car. A major hassle for those of us who lack a vehicle. So, naturally, it has been put off in hopes that I had a car in time to get it done. The good news: I HAVE A CAR! (i will tell more in a minute about that). I just got the car Friday afternoon, in time to come home and throw costumes on kids and go out trick or treating. The library Saturday we spent campaigning, as we have every Saturday for the past month or so. Sunday, library is closed. Today, I stop by the local branch library and talk to the man at the library. He spent at least five minutes looking it up and confirmed his initial thought: our county library does not carry journals except for the New England Medical Journal. He said to check with Mott or UofM. Nice. I just came from Mott. I didn't bother with the library there, because it seemed faster for me to use the local library. The brakes on my car need changed so I wasn't going to drive all the way back to the main campus to get this article printed. Of course, tomorrow, I will at the polls all day long, so that brings me to Wednesday, the due date. I will have to go to the campus library before or after class and make a copy of the article and then come home and type it up. Good thing that writing is one of my strong suits. May be hard to tell from reading this boring thing though.

Anyway, CAR. So, Friday, Jeremy took the day off work so we could go get a car because shortly after I had posted my blog Thursday, my check came. We found a car and bought it. It's a 94 Buick Regal Limited. It has the 3800 motor in it which is a very strong motor. It also has air conditioning. Those were the two things I wanted out of my next vehicle. So, I am happy there. The only thing is that the car needed brakes, tires, and a strut. Basically maintanance type things. We got a great deal on it, paying only half of the blue book value for it. It has 157K miles on it, which isn't bad on the 3800 motors. It should last quite a bit longer. Fingers crossed that all works out well.

Tied into that though, while Jeremy and I were out looking for a car, he was fired. My uncle asked about Jeremy's check and the boss told him that he was firing Jeremy for not coming into work that day and that he isn't paying him. Nice! When it rains it pours. This job is a seasonal type of job and every spring, the boss hires anyone, pays them cash and almost every year, the crew is different, with the exception of the few guys he pays by check. He has one guy in particular who never shows up for work, calls in saying his mom died, only to have the wife call a few weeks later asking when the checks would be available bc she had to get it before his mom did (the guy was in jail). He still always has a job. The boss has even paid to bail him out of jail a few times. Jeremy has tried calling the boss all day today to ask about his check and can't get an answer. He has being a major jerk lately for some reason. I don't know if maybe he is feeling the pressure from the outstanding debts he has with the companies he has to get supplies from or what, but he has even gotten shitty with my uncle. My brother was working for them and quit last week because of crap that goes on. I am not going to stress too much over it. I have too much going on right now. We have a car now, at least, so he can go put applications in at places. Of course, with the economy the way it is, those are scarce. Something will work out, hopefully soon.

Well, I need to get off here and start getting our stuff rounded up for tomorrow. The kids will need things to keep them busy and we need chairs and snacks and drinks and such. So, I am off here.

MAKE SURE YOU GET OUT AND VOTE!!!!!!!

The time has come

I can no longer take classes at the local campus but must go to the main campus for all classes. It stinks. The local extension campus is only offering 1 social work class for winter semester and I have already taken it. I have a tentative winter schedule down and it will be Tuesdays and Thursdays from 11am until 3:55pm, three different classes in that time, with five minutes between classes. Then, on Wednesday, I have the Agency Experience class from 2-2:55pm. This is the class where I have to do part of my internship. We have to complete 50 hours with a local agency in the course of the semester. The class actually only meets about 4 times throughout the semester, which is nice, seems how it is only an hour long and I have to drive all the way to main campus. It really isn't super far (about 20 mins) but it's just the horrid parking, mostly. I also plan to take a computer course (to fulfill the general ed requirements) as an open entry/open exit class, so that I can work at my own pace (fast) and finish ahead of schedule. My plan with that is to bust my butt and get it all done by midterms. That way, I don't have to worry about that class for the second half of the semester. Then, one of my classes for tue/thurs is only a first half semester class, so by midterms, I will be done with that class as well and will just have 3 classes to do for the rest of the semester. Hopefully it isn't too much. I want to get this done and over with already. I need to call and make an appointment with my advisor to see what he suggests and to get my transfer lined up so I know what I need to do. I am trying to wait it out until I get my student loan and have my own car, so I can actually make it to the appointment.

So, yes, I am STILL waiting on that loan. It is so frustrating, because the money is there, at the college, just waiting for them to cut the check and mail it to me. Meanwhile, i continue to struggle with getting rides to and from my classes and most days, I end up frustrated and in tears. My one teacher told me the other night, as I came to class totally down and exacberated, that I am just tired of trying to get rides, stressing over how to get to class and I am just tired. She told me that she admires me for sticking with it. I appreciate her thoughts and truthfully, I admire myself for sticking with it, because many times, I have had fleeting thoughts of throwing in the towel. It would be so much easier in the short run, to just give up. I wouldn't have to worry bout rides and getting papers printed and all that stuff. But, to suffer now is to gain greatly later. The payoff will be grand. I have to just keep focused on the big picture, on the long run. Thomas Edison didn't give up the first time he failed or struggled, he kept on. I must keep on, too. And I know that self-pity will get me know where, but I can't help but wonder, why me, just sometimes. I know the answer to some degree....i was never motivated before to make short term sacrafices for long term gain. I have paid the price for that lack of ambition. Now, I must push forward, harder than ever, to get through this and get my life back on track. Do I feel a twinge of envy when I see people whose lives seem so simple and everything seems to just fall into place for them? Maybe a small bit. But, I also realize that for every person who seems to have life easy, there are plenty who feel that my life is easy, because they have so much less and so much more struggle. I also don't feel that envy when the easy life seems to be a result of that person's hard work and dedication. Ok, then I just envy their drive, because I so lack it most of the time. But, I also admire it.

We are winding down the campaign efforts...well, no winding down, the time is winding down. We are meeting this saturday, for the last time as a group, to distribute flyers and yard signs. We just got in our new signs the other day....100 yard signs and 10 large signs. I had to work on an ad for local newspapers and well, that just isn't my thing. I am limited in knowledge in that area. Thankfully you can submit the picture, the points you want the ad to say and they can do the rest. Otherwise, we would be really pressed for time. One thing I have learned about the media is they aren't too generous with notices. They will email us on a Monday and want answers to 12 questions by wednesday. It's crazy. Sometimes, you get a day's notice. Do they think that we all have nothing to do but work full time, round the clock on campaigns? Thankfully, they are almost equally as generous with extending deadlines.

Makenneh lost her very first baby tooth the night before last. I was kinda bummed because I was in class when she lost it, they were all in bed when I got home and when I woke up the next morning, Jeremy called me in the computer room to show me her tooth. He had already done the tooth fairy visit and all. My mom wasn't home the night she lost her tooth either and didn't know til that next morning....when we told her, she asked if we had a gold dollar to put under her pillow. We didn't. So, she got one for us to put under there. So, Makenneh ended up with a regular dollar and a gold dollar. She deposited the bill into her savings account (with her other 4.09 she has been hoarding in her change purse). She was so excited that the tooth fairy came nad left her money, especially the gold coin. She thinks that is just the greatest thing. Her adult tooth was already coming in (that's what pushed the baby tooth out) so she doesn't really have a toothless grin. She has been in great spirits lately and has been far more loving and well behaved than she has been naughty. It is a blessing. I don't know what has accounted for her change in behavior, but it's welcomed nonetheless. IN talking with my sister-in-law, she was saying how her little sister (who is Makenneh's age and started Kindy this year as well), has become a mouthy brat. Keely used to be a sweet, well-behaved child and now she is almost impossible. We are thinking that going to school is what has triggered this. Makenneh was never a model child...she has always been a bit difficult, but the mouthiness just increases after she entered kindergarten. Maybe being around the other kids (some probably mouthy and naughty by nature) combined with the added freedoms of going to school triggered it, who knows. I'm holding my breath on the change though, because I am sure the bottom may fall out at any point. I am enjoying the time right now, when she is being sweet and just know that it could change at any point.

Both kids are excited about trick or treating. Makenneh got to go to a trunk or treat event at a local church last night. The church she attends with papa took the youth group to another church that sponsored the event. She had fun, despite getting there late. She didn't get a lot of candy, which is just as well, as far as I'm concerned. There will be enough tomorrow night to last a lifetime (not really, with daddy and papa around). It's supposed to be nice out tomorrow which is great news. It has been sooo cold lately, that I was dreading the thought of Halloween. I freeze for a few mins we stand at the bus stop, I couldn't imagine a couple hours out in that stuff. Hopefully the weather cooperates, as predicted, and we have a decent night. Let's also hope my mother in law has their costumes finished. She came over Tuesday night to have them try them on so she could do the finishing touches. I still have to go get Makenneh the rest of her outfit, but i am hoping that Jeremy gets paid today (their boss varies on paying them on thurs and fri, at his own whim). She needs pink top and pants to go under her tutu. She is going as a ballerina. I figured that rather than get her a leotard, which she may not ever really wear again, i would get a plain long sleeve shirt and some leggins. Then, I also have to do her accessories, which won't be a problem. She wants sparkly bracelets, so that's the must have. Then, im going to put her hair up in a bun and use a cute, frilly hair tie to hold it up. She should be cute. Then, there's Sebastian, in his Patrick costume. He is gonna be a doll. and fuzzy and warm!

See what happens when I don't blog for awhile, I run on and on worse than ever. But, Im going to wrap it up here so I can check the campaign email and then do my homework.

Take care and have a safe and fun Halloween!

Stretch your words

That's what I learned from my daughter today. And it's a lesson I was glad to learn. I have always understood the importance of phonics but I just wasn't sure how to "teach" that to my kids. Well, Makenneh's teacher taught them to stretch their words. She even has a motion for it. They put their fingers to their lips (think of the Italians "kissing" their fingers thing) and then they stretch the word as they say it by pulling their hand away from the lips. Doing this allows you say the word realllllllly slow so you can sound out the letters and spell the word. Bingo! Now I have a great way to help them with their phonics. We just sat here spelling different words.

Life has been a roller coaster ride with the girl. I had posted a while back about her going to school easily. Hah! If that didn't blow up in my face. Shortly after posting that, she began fighting me more mornings than not. Most of it wasn't that she didn't really want to go to school, but rather that she didn't want to get up or didn't want to wear "that" shirt or didn't want to wear that coat, etc. Almost every morning was a fight over something or another. And she would pull the whole, "If you don't let me ____,I won't go to school/get on bus/whatever". Grrrr. Several mornings, I cried after getting her on the bus. Sheer frustration. We discovered that she may have been getting too much sleep. I kept saying to my mom, "it's as if she is tired, but how could she be, she goes to bed by 8pm every night and gets up at 7:15". Well one Wed evening, she went to church with papa and they stopped at Uncle Matt's on the way home. She didn't get home til around 9pm so she was up later than usual. The next morning was the best morning we have had in a while. So, we started keeping her up a little later at night and it seems to be helping. Some mornings she even wakes herself up earlier than she needs to be up. I hope it helps because seriously, she has gotten next to incorrigable. Her mouth is the worst of it. She wants to argue everything til the bitter end. I suppose she will make a great debater someday...hopefully she finds a career where that attribute suits her well because it doesn't do well in the household!

Myself, I have been busy with school and campaigning. We are nearing elections and honestly, I can't wait for it to be over with. Hopefully it ends with a victory for us! Most of the primary elections ended up with incumbents being unseated. Hopefully in the general, the incumbents continue to be unseated. I think that most Michiganders are sick of the same old stuff....nothing ever changes, only gets worse. Some of our politicians have been here since the beginning of time and haven't done much good for our state....our state has literally gone down the toilets. Voters are beginning to finally see this and are more apt to vote for the new people on the block. But, the unions are strong in this state and they have a wicked sort of control over people. It's really rather frightening to talk to people and see just how many people vote simply because their union tells them to vote for that person. People don't bother with looking into the candidates themselves, they just do as puppets and vote according to the union. That's how all these career politicians have managed to run the state for so long without being effective. they don't have to do right by the people, as long as their party matches the union. Case in point: Flint had a crappy mayor several years back. He was recalled after running flint in the ground. That same guy is now on the ticket for a different position. The union backs him simply because of his party affiliation, with no regard to the fact that he contributed to the crap Flint has become and he was recalled, meaning the voters in Flint didn't want him there anymore. But enough on politics, it will soon be over.

Makenneh is anxiously counting down the days til Halloween. The first thing out of her mouth every morning is "___ days til halloween, Im so excited!". She chose to be a ballerina for halloween and my mother in law is making her costume. I have to buy the leotard, tights and shoes, but she is making the skirt. I picked out hot pink and black (because Makenneh wanted black and i thought a ballerina needed some pink, too). Seb is being Patrick Star from Spongebob and she is making that costume as well. He is gonna be cute! I love that my kids chose more unique costumes, rather than wanting the cheap store bought costumes that are good for maybe one go-round.

I finally got a paper in the mail today about my student loan. I just chatted live with a rep at my school and the check should be here within a week. Woohoo! That is a huge relief. We have decided to just get a different car. There is a car for sale up the road from us that is in our price range. We will go look at it as well as a couple other ones. I will plan to have a decision about the car so that when the money arrives, we can do it up! Then, I am just going to put a for sale sign on my car and try to get some money out of it; at least to recoup the cost of the transmission we bought a month or so ago. Someone who knows more about transmissions could probably fix it and have it on the road. Jeremy has hassled with it on and off for weeks and we decided that rather than spend hundreds of dollars taking it to a mechanic, we will just a different car. This is the 3rd or 4th trans we have had to put in this car and that's not a cheap fix, nor is it an easy job. Im over it. I have had that car since like 1999 and it's time for something different. Hopefully with less headaches. One thing is for sure. My dad is test driving the next car before I buy anything. Hopefully i can avoid some of hte issues I have had with this car.

Well, I am going to get off here and start getting ready. We are going to the campaign headquarters tonight to use the phone bank and I need to get ready. I don't really wanna go because I would love to have a weekend to relax and to myself. I suppose it will be the first weekend in NOvember, after the election is over.

Good Morning

Thought I should post seems how it has been awhile since the last time.

Friday Makenneh had a field trip to Grandpa Tiny's Farm. She had a great time for the most part. it was a bit chilly that day, but the sun was warm. She got to see and pet various farm animals, milk a cow, make a candle from beeswax, learn how wool was spun, and we went on a wagon ride and made a butterfly craft.

My Saturday mornings have been full of campaign work. Every Saturday, we go to a different city in our district and pair off to go distribute flyers. I have been doing a lot of walking. We have already passed out nearly 12000 flyers and still have some to do. This past Saturday was extra special though. I arrived at the meeting location with my parents. I got out of the car and Greg, the photographer who did our wedding, approached me holding a golden box. He asked if I remembered him. Of course I did. He presented me with the box, which I knew before opening, contained my wedding pictures that I was never able to afford to buy. I instantly started crying, as I grabbed him, hugged him and thanked him. He said that it was his gift to me for my hard work and community service. I have to say that is one of the greatest gifts I have ever received. I stood in that parking lot going over the wedding pictures I had never seen. It was amazing and kinda sad, as several people have since passed, including my Aunt Dawn, Jeremy's grandma and his papa. Then, some couples have since divorced. So, very beautiful gift. I have gone over those pictures many times since that morning.

After doing the campaign stuff, we had to rush to my cousin's wedding. It went well. My cousin was absolutely beautiful. The kids had a great time at the reception. Sebastian danced and showed off the entire night. He was far from the shy boy who usually sticks at my side and avoids conversation. Music must be his thing. He has seen some of the Step Up movies and tries to dance like the street dancers. We didn't stay for the whole thing because Jeremy has been sick with a cold and the kids of course needed to go to bed. But, we had a good time.

Sunday we went to my sister's for a hay ride and to pick out pumpkins. The kids picked out huge pumpkins. It's the first time I've had such big pumpkins. A guy Ralph works with was over there with his family and Makenneh hit it off with their kids.

Our weekend was crazy busy but we are hoping to just stay home this weekend. Of course, right now, the forecast says rain Friday through Monday, so staying home is probably a good idea.

Well, that's a bit of a catch up, but I have to finish getting Makenneh ready for the bus, so I will go for now...

Before going to bed...

...My mother in law let me use her jeep for class tonight and then keep it until tomorrow evening. What a huge help! I am ever so grateful. So, I was able to run to the store and get a gift for the bday girl tomorrow and get to class. I wanted to take Makenneh and let her pick something out for her friend, but time just won't allow for that. I hate buying for kids you don't even know. The invites were High School Musical, so I went off that, knowing nothing of this girl. I got her a HSM Barbie type doll, figuring that even if she has two of them, you can still play with them...i know Makenneh wouldn't mind getting another Hannah Montana Doll.

Well, i am going to head to bed. One more day for the week! Have a great weekend. I usually don't get on here too much over the weekend!

Wiggle, Wiggle

Goes Makenneh's tooth! She is losing her first baby tooth! The adult tooth is already coming in in its place. I am sooo excited. Silly, I know. After she loses it, I will have to take a picture of her toothless grin. I am not sure if I will be able to get it on here though because my printer is all screwed up. Not the printer, but the tower I am using doesn't have enough ports to plug in my printer.

It's getting sooo tricky trying to get back and forth to school. It is a great source of stress for me. I just wish we could figure out what is wrong with my car. Jeremy plans to spend some more time on it tomorrow trying to get it going. Please say a prayer, cross your fingers, send some good thoughts, whatever.

Makenneh has a bday party to go to tomorrow, which is another hassle in that I have to find a ride. Grrrrr. I am hoping my mother in law will allow me to use her jeep tonight for class and keep it overnight so I can pick makenneh up from school to go to the party. It's being held at the McDonald's near the school. If she lets me do that, it will mean I have a way to class tonight and then tomorrow for the party. My chest tightens with the thoughts of all the hassle.

And then.....people suck. Yes, they do. As you all know, my brother in law is running for state rep for our district. It's a big deal. We have had a lot of campaign things to do. We are now at the time that we need to go door to door leaving flyers. This is a huge task as our district is rather large and there are lots of homes to hit. Getting family to help is like pulling teeth. We go out each Saturday for a few hours. That's it. Well, my mom has always been the go-to person of the family. Moreso after my grandparents passed away. Every time anyone needs anything from money to help with planning and hosting open houses, weddings, showers, etc. My mom is always the one they come to for help. WEll, now that she is the one needing help, everyone is too damn busy. It's pathetic. One cousin in particular said she couldn't do it last Saturday because she was going duck hunting. Well, she ended up not even going hunting. Then, this weekend, she is going to a damned Obama rally. So, she can't help with a local campaign that happens to be for her cousin...but she can attend a rally for a presidential candidate who isn't going to give two shits about flint, mi when he is elected. And I am not just saying that about Obama, because it is true of any presidential candidate ever. Not to mention, OBama's campaign won't suffer if a few people don't attend a rally. Ralph's is suffering because it is small town, grassroots campaigning. We need the bodies to help us. So, I have encouraged my mom to stop the gravy train. When the others need something, be too damned busy to help. Period. The sad thing is, if Ralph gets elected, those who were too busy to help get him there will be the first ones wanting favors. THey can forget it. Oh well....some people suck, that's just life. It frustrates me enough to have mom tell my aunt she is on her own to finish her daughter's flowers for her wedding that my mom is doing...because she is too busy with campaign stuff. The only reason for not doing that is bc the daughter getting married is not the one being a snot about helping...so she shouldn't have to suffer. They are going to be in for a shock when the 18th comes and all of us have to be out doing campaign stuff to get it done before the election and won't be able to help with anything before the wedding. We will have time enough to show up and take a seat for the wedding. Unfortunately, the mother of the bride can't do anything without my mom at her side when it comes to this wedding planning and execution. My mom had to go with them to order the cake, even. So, they are going to be flustered. But, if they were able to help out more, then we wouldn't be so under the wire at this point. Bah, im done ranting. really i am.

My sister has her OB appointment today. It's her first one with the OB. Everyone looked good when she went for the ultrasound and they set her due date for May 1st. Our gma's bday was May 3. It would be sooo sweet if she had her baby that day! I am hoping. She already has a cute little belly showing. It's so exciting. Well, I am off here to read my two chapters for my quiz tonight. Have a great day!

I've had my moments...

That's what I want on my headstone. LOL. Seriously, though, our assignment in Social Work with the aging is to write our own eulogy and then an epitaph. The epitaph being the words or phrase that goes on your headstone. I have been thinking about it and the possibilities are endless, of course. But, I love that song, "Moments" by Emerson Drive. It is beautiful and truly, ..."Looking at me now, you may not know it, but Ive had my moments...."

School is going well for me, it's the getting there and home that's hell. My car is sooo close to being fixed yet it still is working right. Jeremy changed the transmission (actually had to take it out, put it in, take it out, put it in) and it is still not shifting properly. A couple people have thrown out a few suggestions. He tried one of them this evening and still nothing. Honestly, we don't have the money to keep throwing at it and Jeremy doesn't have the patience to keep chasing rabbits. He is quite mechanically inclined and what he doesn't know, he can learn quickly. However, he is not a certified mechanic and everything he has learned has been from hands on, life experience. But, he is unsure where to go with it from here and he is ready to just scrap the car. We can't do that though because we don't have money for a new one either. It's a no win situation. Meanwhile, my dad is now on 10 hour shifts and I have lost my ride to school in the evening as well. I need a ride 5 times a week. Once on mon, tue, thur and twice on wed. The thought of withdrawing from my classes has crossed my mind, believe me. But, the other part of me refuses to let this obstacle get in my way, damn it. I want this degree soooo bad and I refuse to give in. I am going to fight, tooth and nail. But, I am tired, weary and the fight is dwindling. I can only pray that the problem is something simple and that it can be fixed expediently. (hah, fancy word, did i use it properly? lol). Anyway, as it looks, we are back to waiting for my student to loan to come through, which I have heard nothing about so far, other than it will be processed somewhere btwn the 9th and 23th of this month. What happens from there, who knows. All I know is that I need the money, I need my car fixed and I need to be able to get on with my measely life, already. Gah! I can laugh...I just did, seriously.


Enough whining already, I know. Makenneh has her first field trip of the year on the 13th. We are going to Grandpa Tiny's Farm. Thankfully, it's on a friday, so I will be able to join her! I was worried about being able to attend field trips and such. Makenneh is doing better in school every time papers are sent home. When she does something wrong, we go over it with her when she gets home, we practice and I tell her to be sure to follow directions. It seems to be paying off because she had a paper to do with patterns. You know, what comes next?! Well, she got 2 of the 5 wrong. I sat her down, made up some new patterns and had her fill in what came next. We practiced it, talked about it and today she brought home one that was perfect! Way to go! She is so eager to learn and just loves school, so I don't worry too much about her slow beginning thanks to mommy with postpartum depression and her head up her rear a bit. I did a few things right, I suppose!

Sebastian is totally, completely potty trained. I haven't bought diapers in about 3 weeks maybe. And we skipped the pull up stage altogether. Just on into big boy undies!

Well, I am going to close for now because I need to get to bed. I am tired, in pain from cramps that won't quit and just feel blah.

I will post the lyrics to that song, before I go, because they are great and speak to me....hope you enjoy them:

Moments, by Emerson Drive

I was coming to the end of a long long walk
When a man crawled out of a cardboard box
Under the E. Street Bridge
Followed me on to it
I went out halfway across
With that homeless shadow tagging along
So I dug for some change
Wouldn't need it anyway
He took it lookin' just a bit ashamed
He said, You know, I haven't always been this way

I've had my moments, days in the sun
Moments I was second to none
Moments when I knew I did what I thought I couldn't do
Like that plane ride coming home from the war
That summer my son was born
And memories like a coat so warm
A cold wind can't get through
Lookin' at me now you might not know it
But I've had my moments

I stood there tryin' to find my nerve
Wondering if a single soul on Earth
Would care at all
Miss me when I'm gone
That old man just kept hanging around
Lookin' at me, lookin' down
I think he recognized
That look in my eyes
Standing with him there I felt ashamed
I said, You know, I haven't always felt this way

I've had my moments, days in the sun
Moments I was second to none
Moments when I knew I did what I thought I couldn't do
Like the day I walked away from the wine
For a woman who became my wife
And a love that, when it was right,
Could always see me through
Lookin' at me now you might not know it
But I've had my moments

I know somewhere 'round a trashcan fire tonight
That old man tells his story one more time
He says

I've had my moments, days in the sun
Moments I was second to none
Moments when I knew I did what I thought I couldn't do
Like that cool night on the E. Street Bridge
When a young man almost ended it
I was right there, wasn't scared a bit
And I helped to pull him through
Lookin' at me now you might not know it
Oh, lookin' at me now you might not know it
But I've had my moments

What's that I hear?

OH yeah, silence. Why? Because my parents aren't back yet from their trip up north to my gma's house and they have Makenneh with them. Then, my boys (Jeremy and Sebastian) fell asleep while watching a movie together in our bedroom. I am quite close to being home alone! It has been ever so long since this has happened. I usually have at least one person with me. I know it won't last long but it's nice while it is happening. I read my chapter for class tomorrow and now I am spending time on here, without interruption. And I don't have to feel guilty because the kitchen is clean, laundry mostly done and chili is still simmering on the stove. I feel all domestic. LOL.

Jeremy and I had a great weekend with the little guy. He was so well behaved over the weekend and we had fun together. He also is completely potty trained now. For a couple weeks, he did all his peeing on the potty but no poop. He was saving that for his undies. So, we got it all together and he is doing ALL of his business on the big potty. YEah, the big potty, not even the potty chair. So, i can convert that back to a step stool for them to use at the sink. (it is multi-functional).

Makenneh's first fundraiser is due tomorrow. She earned a few prizes, chintzy as they are. But, to young kids, it's still exciting.

Well my sister just called and she her hubby are on their way over. (See, told ya it wouldn't last long, lol).

Have a great week!

Just another Manic Monday

Today has been one of those days. I got home from school and both kids were just being horrible. Makenneh more so. Her mouth is out of control. She got grounded last night for her mouthiness and today continued the trend. When she would ease up, Sebastian would start in with whining or something equally irritating. I was meanwhile trying to read my chapter in Child Welfare and do my take home quiz. It took me about four hours to read one chapter and answer 3 questions. That should shine some light on the number of interruptions I had to deal with. Then, it all came to head a little bit ago. I was in here googling AA meetings in my area because I have to attend one for my Substance Abuse class and write a paper, that is due on Thursday. While searching for meeting locations and times, I hear the kids outside carrying on. Then I hear Sebastian start crying. I didn't think much of it because well, they have been going on like this all day. Then, I hear Makenneh hollering for me. I fly up and run out the door. I am literally 5 steps from the front door. As I open it, she is telling me Sebastian is hurt and bleeding and there he is, bleeding. She threw a chair and it hit him in the head. He refused to get in the shower to let me wash him, so I had to get a wash cloth and do it. The cut is minimal but like any cut to the head area, they bleed. I was able to wash the blood off his arms, hands, legs, etc but can't get it out of his hair without a shower. HE refuses so for now, he is running around with blood in his white hair. Lovely. I called Jeremy almost in tears because I am at my wits end. I don't want to see anymore blood spurting from any parts of the body for a while. I have had my share, thank you.

I have a test on Wednesday in my Social Work with the Aging class. It's open book/open notes, so that's a plus. The state of mind im in right now isn't conducive to productive studying. I've read all the chapters - 5 of them are included on this test and I have taken all the class notes, so I should be fine.

well, hours have passed since I started this blog...but had to get kids to bed and then call my sister to see if she could print my homework that is due Wednesday. I emailed it to her to have her print. What a pain. I so hope I am getting enough back from financial aid to get either my car running and a computer or a different car and a computer. either way, I need wheels and a computer. This isn't going to work all semester long.

My dad finally got called back to work today. They want him to go back tomorrow. He was a little frustrated with the lack of notice. He was in the midst of a home project when they called this afternoon so he had to wrap that up. Then, it allows no time to readjust. He has been off for a month. And the other dilemma is I now have no wheels to get to my day class on mon and wed. Nor do I have wheels for my jury duty that starts next Thursday. They did get the title to that other car and got it all legal but the brakes are very bad so can't drive it too far. I may have to until I get my money from financial aid. It just seems to be one thing after another. I guess I am supposed to have my money 3 weeks from the date of record for the college, which was the 15th. That would mean I still have 2 weeks to wait. I don't know how well it is going to work out. but better to know I have some money coming than not to have any coming. Oh well.

Well, my head is still spinning from my crappy day and crazy night. I am going to get off here before I ramble more nonsense. I have some loose ends to tie up for school and then I am going to bed. Ok, i will probably read blogs and unwind a bit too!

PS...Sebastian finally let me wash the blood out of his hair awhile ago. I couldn't let him go to bed like that. I figured if i just ignored it for a bit, he would cooperate. Lucky me, it worked.