A Christmas Miracle??!!!??!!

I just got the email from Stacy a little bit ago. Kiersten's surgery went well and she is doing good! I couldn't have asked for more! Thanks to everyone who said a prayer...God was listening!

I'm feeling a bit sad though tonight. Just thinking about things. Things that really should make me feel thankful, and they do, but yet, they make my heart so very sad. Last week, my mom was up drinking her coffee one weekday morning and heard sirens. She instantly got chills and just knew in her heart that it was an accident involving a kid or kids on their way to school, as it was that time of the morning. A few hours later, my uncle called her, telling her it was a kid from the local high school, on his way to school. He was pronounced dead at the scene. My mom just broke down. Being a mom, your heart just breaks for moms in this situation. Here it was, a little over a week until Christmas, his senior year...and he was on his way to school. Well, today, i was at my uncles and my cousin went to school with this boy. He had a picture of him and showed me and I just looked at that picture and saw a young man, in his football jersery, very much alive and well. His mom should be stressing over last minute christmas gifts for him and getting them wrapped for the big night..instead, she has had to plan his funeral and bury her son. And I sit here, stressed bc my kids are wound up, into everything and just won't stop.

Then, my cousin Desiree's situation has been on my mind. It is Christmastime and her dad hasn't made an effort to see her in three weeks. He promised to pick her up from school one day and left her stranded at school. the only saving grace was that my aunt was with her mother in law and they could go pick her up. Otherwise, my aunt didn't have a vehicle. He did finally manage to bring over about 8 gifts for Des. They were simply addressed: To: Desiree. no love dad, no nothing. My mom went and got her some things to have under the tree. My aunt of course, is doing Christmas for her, but it makes it hard. She has to spend at much on Des as she does her own kids and that means adding a lot of money to her Christmas expense. I so need to get my thoughts out to him. He makes me so mad i see red. I cannot go on keeping it inside. I know they say it's not good to put things in writing like that, bc it could come back to kick you in the ass, and boy have i learned that first hand. But, at the same time, i can't help but think how good it would feel to send him a letter with my thoughts. And really, what can he do or say for it come back and bite me in the ass? HE has nothing! HE is nothing! HE needs to know what a useless piece of scum he is. My shit has more class and more good than he does. My heart breaks for Desiree and the disappointment she has to face all the time from her dad. If you have never seen it, watch the move, Prancer. My mom watched it and just sobbed. It made her think so much of Des. And the girls were the same age when they lost their mom.

My sister got Des the book, A Cracked Shell, or something like that. It's about helping kids deal with loss i guess. i should google it and find out exactly what it is.

Back to a positive thought...i went to the church today to pick up our Christmas package. We were referred by the headstart organization and were adopted by one of the families in the church. I was amazed at what we got. They got for Seb: A check up Elmo..he comes with a stethoscope and other little "dr" accessories, a very sharp outfit, a playschool car pack of some sort and another truck thing. For Makenneh: A baby doll (which i had already gotten her one, so i may either donate this or save for her bday), a doll stroller and a big set of doll clothes. Plus, we got a box of food, including a turkey! What a blessing!

well, i have an extra toddler for the night..actually, for the whole weekend. I know, i've bumped my head..but my friend needs a sitter and i need the cash, so i will survive...lol. He is a good boy..it's just they get wound up!