Today was a hard day. I started out feeling positive that it would be a great day. Sebastian slept til 1230 (wasn't feeling too good) and both kids were in a good mood. Then, it just seemed to go down hill from there. They became whiney and cranky and bratty. Then, Jeremy called from work and sounded different...i got him to admit to feeling out of sorts and kinda depressed about money. He really wants that house but there is no way. Some how, and even the loan officers aren't sure how, his credit score dropped 100 pts. So, now it is too low to finance a house. He is just feeling defeated. He has been at his job over a year, with no raise. When he asked his boss, he said he couldn't afford it...yet a couple months later, pulls up in a brand new bmw, to go along with his Raush (don't know if i sp that right) Mustang. When Jeremy started with this company, he was through a temp agency which means that his employer was paying the temp agency extra money per hour on Jeremy's behalf...usually its a few dollars. Once he got hired in, they didn't give him a raise, which means they just get to pocket all the extra money they were paying towards the temp agency. Then, he declined the ins. bc the premiums are way more than we can afford....usually places give you a raise when you decline the ins bc it saves the company their money too..yet, they didn't give him a raise. So, he is just feeling crappy. He also keeps thinking about how if he had stayed in college he would be done now and making more money. But, to me, looking back doesn't get you anywhere. I know how he feels. God, how I know...bc I go there myself at times...for lengths of time. Yet, it's so hard to deal with him being down. I guess bc he is always the stronghold..the one who is always assuring me everything will be ok.
I went over our bills and our income for the rest of this month and we should be doing fine. I think he is just stressing bc Christmas is coming and money is tight and then this house didn't go through. This is the first house he really got excited about. Of course, which man wouldnt..it had a garage, with a finished loft and a barn that has a loft started/framed in. But at some point you just have to realize that whatever is meant to be, will be. This apparently wasn't meant to be.
I can feel a bit of a drain, mentally, myself. I think most of it comes from the fact that I had a day from hell with the kids and neither of them are asleep yet. I need my quiet time. I am ready to explode. Sebastian is in his crib, but i hear his jabber from time to time and moving around...makenneh is out here, drawing, making lots of noise, demanding attention and i just want my quiet time. I have catered to them all day it seems and now i am ready for peace and quiet. .
And Makenneh is so damned hard headed. I swear to God if she doesn't put that to good use some day, im gonna beat her! She is so stubborn, dramatic and determined. Always has been. Why God gave both my kids these extreme personalities, i have no idea. I could have dealt with easy going, laid back personalities just fine, thank you!
Oh and here is a real blog topic......I went to pick Makenneh up from school tonight. She tells me she pooped in her pants. I just kinda stand there, stunned and confused. She was still wearing hte same pants she wore to school and her teacher didn't speak up at first to say anything. Miss Wendy, the teacher is off, but the teacher's aid and a sub were there. So, after a moment of silence with a dumb founded look on my face, Miss Brenda speaks up and says, "it was loose, mom, sometimes those things happen even to us adults." I'm still a bit confused as to how she pooped her pants and yet, still has the same pants on that i sent her in. Then, i look at Makenneh and ask if she wants to go change her clothes. They said that she was in the bathroom for awhile and at one point mentioned that she might have passed gas and some came out. they teachers say that she just mentioned it to them while they were waiting for parents to pick kids up. Makenneh said she wanted to change her clothes in the car. Anyway, im jumping all over bc im still a bit confused. There is a point, i promise. So, i get her out to the car and go to pull her pants down to change them, thinking there will probably be nothing much more that a poop stain! WRONG...there is poop in there. So, i took her back into the school to the bathroom to clean her up and change her. I couldn't let her ride home like that. So, i get her pants and undies off (just threw the undies away) and the poop is dried to her but. I have to scrub with those nasty brown school paper towels to get the poop off her butt. I was beginning to get pissed. She has apparently sat in this shit for some time. Long enough for it to harden to her butt. So, i ask her when she pooped her pants...she said in school. I asked her if she told her teacher. She said, I told her i pooped in my pants. I asked all kinda of questions as subjectively as i could to get a feel for what happened. She kept insisting that she told the sub (friend's teacher she said, which subs are usually friend's parents) that she pooped her pants. She did it when they were on the carpet (rug). Then she went poop in the potty. So, from what i could gather, she did it while in class, told the sub, and then went to the bathroom. Why didn't they check her or something? Why wasn't i called if they didnt' want to clean her up and change her? i am going to talk to them tomorrow and find out what happened. If they left her, knowingly, sit in shit, i am gonna blow my top. I have never left my kids in dirty diapers or clothes and i damned sure don't expect anyone else to either. I am going to give them the beneift of the doubt, bc she is only 3 and could have things a bit mixed up as far as time and all. But, one thing i know for certain is that she sat in that poop for some time. That, i am not happy about. Even when i question Makenneh now, she insists she told the sub in the classroom.
Tomorrow, i will have an answer i guess.
Well, im off to check bz message boards, other blogs and all that stuff, then get this little bug to bed.
2 comments:
I'm so sorry about the house Christina. I was hoping one of us could get a bigger home this year. We know we are stuck here until our older kids are done with high school, so that is why we took the plunge and bought the newer car. I know how much it means to want and have your own real home though.
Strange on the credit rating. I know even applying for credit can lower it. So if you've applied for a few credit cards recently, that will do it.
People used to tell me, it will get better. I found it so hard to believe them. They were right. So that is why today I am telling you, it will get better. I promise. I wish I could come to your house and give you a big hug sweetie. For now, maybe go see your Mommy and get one from her? :)
And the potty thing, just because of their age, you'd think they'd watch them more. They have to expect that kind of thing to happen. Poop stinks and I can't believe they didn't know she needed help cleaning herself up. :(
Take care.
SOrry about the house. I really was crossing my fingers for you. Maybe that means there is something better out there for you and it just doesn't seem like it at the time. That is crazy about Makenneh. I know that there is no way that they couldn't of known that she did that and they should of asked if she didn't tell them! Hope that things get better soon!
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