Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Before I go to bed

I thought I would blog a minute. I really have a few things i could rant and rave about...but i need to be to bed...gotta work at 7am! So perhaps i will save those for another time. Whew, you dodged the bullets that time, huh!

Well, one thing i will rave about is Harold. I am done just referring to him as my uncle or my cousin's dad or my late aunt's husband. He isn't a dad by any means and he was a lousy ass husband. So, he is just harold from here on out. And before I spill it out, God, forgive me for the way this man makes me cringe and sick and full of anger. Many of you probably remember the posts about how my aunt Dawn passed away 2 novembers ago and left my 10 yr old cousin, Des. Well, my aunt michelle now has legal custody of her. harold can see her whenever he wants, he just chooses not to. When he does spend time with her, its to take her to fast food or just something quick. she isn't allowed at his house bc the wicked wife won't allow it. For her bday which was oct 27, she wanted a bike more than anything. He bought her some cheap ass game. The twins (wicked wife's kids) got bikes from them for bdays. WTF?! Most of the time he doesn't answer her calls or cuts her real short. he never has time for her. he is a useless piece of shit and may he rot in the firey pits of hell for all the hell he has made here on earth for my aunt and my cousin! How do you explain to an 11 yr old that her dad just doesn't care about her? That he is a loser and stupid and selfish and useless and all out a waste of life? You can't! You have to grin and bear it, watch her get hopes up only to have them shattered. YOu watch her try so desperately to gain his approval, only to fall short. She got kicked out of school bc she is acting up. The principal told her, "I know you want your dad's attention, but this is not the way to go about it." That is so sad, that even the principal, at a new school, can see the damage he does to this child. I think my aunt michelle needs to just say enough is enough. Oh and get this...bc she got kicked out of school, harold tells her that if she acts up again, he won't come see her! WTF.,.,.i would never tell my child, hey if you act up, you wont be able to see me. Just bc he is a non custodial parent doesn't mean he can use visitations as a weapon to get her to behave. Try spending time with her. Try putting her before that wicked wife and her kids. Try showing that you actually give a damn! Just try. I dare ya! He makes my skin crawl. He makes my stomach twist! He is disgusting. I have never met a more disgusting human being in my life. ANd i pray i never meet another. unfortunately, i know there are more harolds out there. There are even bigger monsters, but i have not had to deal with them and their actions. And yeah, i guess i am filled with anger towards him. But, growing up, i looked up to him. I spent a lot of my time with my aunt and him. I wanted to live with them. They were like 2nd parents to me. And i feel betrayed as well. I feel like he has let me down. I guess i just hoped and thought he was a better person. I thought he was a man. A real man wouldn't do these horrible things to their child. He has basically made her an orphan. and all for the sake of a piece of ass. i don't get it. yeah, sex is great, but damn, you can get sex any time without having to shut your child out of your life, basically kick her out of her home.

Ok, i must end this rant. It is raising my blood pressure for sure. I am about 2 seconds from having smoke blowing out my ears and my eyes turning red with rage. Therapy = I need to confront him about this. I need to tell him what a dirtbag he is. I would feel better. I would get it off my chest and be done with it. *pencils in time for confrontation with a monster*

Deep breath...in through nose, out through mouth...and again! repeat 10 times! oooh saaaaah~!

Blogging is so theurapeutic (not so sure i spelled that one right). I can vent, rage, rant, laugh, cry...whatever. get it out!

Well, 530am is gonna come oh so early. I hate mornings...have i never mentioned that before? LOL. The plus is, i will be up and probably out of the house before either kid wakes up. That is wonderful..i may actually get to shower by myself...shhhhh! And I will have no fits when i put my shoes on to leave. No little one shutting the door as if to say i cannot leave and he will see to it. I can pretend all is well and saunter out the door leisurely to my job..where the only children screaming and throwing fits are those belonging to someone else...who will eventually pay and leave the store! i don't hardly notice those fits anymore...i just tune them out. I feel for the parents sometimes....bc i know what it's like. If they are in my line, i try to calm the child with something silly said or sometimes, i say, "no crying allowed in my line/store, etc." Sometimes it works, sometimes they look at me like ive lost my mind. I have. But that's besides the point.

Ok, really off to bed now!!!! Good night to all in blogland!

1 comment:

Julie Q said...

So sad about your cousin and her "Dad". :( Perhaps a family intervention?

There were crying children in Walmart tonight. So tired, you can hear it in their cries. What is silly is both parents are there. Why doesn't one stay home and let the other one go shopping. There were times our kids did start crying in a store, but we would put a stop to it however we could. Even bribery. ;) I know sometimes it can't be helped, but some parents are so clueless too.

Hope you had a good day today. :)