I need some advice! Makenneh is just out of control. I have finally reached my wit's end with her. She is moody and hateful more than she is happy and loving. She is notorious for crossing her arms and saying, "jus yeave me awone!". She is demanding. She tells us what she wants, when she wants it and how she wants it and expects it just that way. An example: She will be sitting on the couch. The blankets are on the floor, right at her feet. I will be sitting on the other side of the living room and she will tell me, yes, tell me, to get the covers for her. I most often don't, but there are those times when I just want peace and quiet and i give in to shut her up. This is the problem, im quite sure. In my moments of weakness, I give in to shut her up. When I have heard enough, and taken all that i can take, i give in. She has learned to use that against me. So, now i am having to work extra hard to break that. I feel like i have tried every method possible to get her to behave. She refuses to sit in time out. Make her you say. that involves me physically restraining her while she is hitting and screaming and kicking. I just don't know that that gains anything. She doesn't stay in her room if we send her there. Not to mention, the kids share a room right now and it is trashed and full of toys to boot. Here, my quesiton is....every time she tries coming out of her room, should we send her back in and add a minute on? And if so, how long should we allow this to continue? What about if she is "sneaking" to sit right on the threshold of the doorway? Do we allow her to do this and just keep quiet, so long as she doesn't pass that point? Or do we let her know she is pushing her luck and has to go back inside her room and add a minute?
Another battle (one we had tonight) is when anyone else has to pick her up from school besides me. She throws a huge fit right there and school and doesn't want to go with them. This includes her dad. Tonight she threw a huge fit when jeremy went to get her. Earlier he had asked her if she wanted him to pick her up and she said yes. Then she had a melt down. She comes home crying and carrying on, he sent her to her room, bc that's what he told her he would do when they got home. It was just horrible. I hate it. I hate that there has to be that much to do concerning school. I had a long talk with her tonight about being respectful, being polite, not throwing fits, etc. But, at 3.5, i just don't know that she actually gets it, ya know?
Another problem is jeremy and i don't see eye to eye on discipline. HE is all about authoratarion (or whatever that word is) approach. I don't like that. I want a happy medium. I am not against spanking, but feel that it shouldn't be used for every issue. Major ones...yes. I also feel that discipline should be out of love not anger. i feel like when he disciplines, he does it bc he is angry. i hate it. ANd he is stubborn. I have teh book by The Nanny. I've read it. I've gotten good ideas from it. But he refuses to read it, stating that he doesn't need a book to know how to raise his kids. I disagree. Things change over time. The way we were raised isn't always the best. There are more ways to do things. He also refuses to go to any parenting type of classes. I get so frustrated with him. He says he wants what is best for the kids, yet to me, his refusal to do anything to increase his knowledge on the subject, says the opposite. Men!
And don't get me wrong. He isn't all evil and bad. He laughs with the kids, he plays with the kids, etc. He just has different views on parenting.
Anyway, I go back to work Saturday. I am not really looking forward to it. Especially not because I have to work on Thanksgiving. Jeremy is going to take the kids over to his aunt's where his family is having dinner. So, at least they get to do something for the holiday. I am just so bummed about this, bc it is my very first holiday that won't be celebrated/spent with family. Sure, i made Thanksgiving dinner myself one year and had my mother in law, brother in law and his gf here, but it was still celebrating and with family. This year, my parents and siblings are all going up to my grandma's. I want to go, bc i don't get to see gma that much and also because Makenneh just adores her. And now that i think about it, maybe my parents will take Makenneh with them. We will see. I also have to work the day after Thanksgiving. That doesn't upset me as much, bc it's just shopping im missing out on and the last few years haven't had that great of sales anyway. I have to be to work at 430am that morning and work until 230pm. IT's gonna be a long, busy, crazy day! im sure it will fly by!
Ok, im done for now...gonna go bask in the glory of Makenneh's sweetness, while it lasts. Ya know...earlier I thought, this has to be the youngest case of pms ever. Funny how our doc said that when she was only a week old. I had no clue! She reminds me of a hormonal teenager who just started having her periods and pmsing like crazy. She stomps off, leave me alone, you guys are all mean...blah blah...c'mon, you mom's with teen girls have to admit you have heard similar things. That's what she reminds me of..me when i was hitting teen yrs. Yikes! I think i need to check into kiddy prozac or something....lol.
Oh and Helen, yes, Makenneh goes to school from 430pm til 730pm. It's not common to see/hear...for some reason, the district offers the evening classes this year. Im glad they do, bc it opens more seats for more kids. It also makes them able to take in kids from other nearby school districts (such as Makenneh).
2 comments:
Yes, some of those comments sound so familiar!
She is at an age where she is testing you. She will push all your buttons if you let her. She is acting disrespectful and trying to see if she can get away with it. You have got to set limits and stay within them. She is 3 1/2, send her to her room. If she comes out, send her back. I agree at this point spanking wouldn't be a good thing. There are also other things you could take away from her, such as tv, the video game, favorite toys, favorite movies, etc. Warn her, then do it if you have to.
If she likes school tell her if she wants to keep going, she is going to have to let other people pick her up. If she doesn't, tell her that she won't be able to go any more. That might not work, but it is worth a try.
It is hard and it is exhausting, but it is so worth it in the end.
Even at Seb's age, when he throws a fit, put him in his crib. Let him know it's not tolerated. Tell him he can come out when he's finished crying.
If Jeremy won't go to a parenting class, go to one yourself. He could learn from you as you learn.
Good luck Christina! She is still young and she will come around. But you must set those limits as to what is and isn't allowed.
Justice's favorite line is also "Leave me alone" or even shut up! Boy does he push my buttons! I think it is an age thing with that and trying to see how much they can get away with. You just have to be consistant even though it is hard. I have days that I just want to stop punishing him because it feels like that is all I have done all day but if you let them get away with it once then they do it even more. Good luck and if you find something that works please let me know so I can try!!!
Post a Comment