Trains outta MI and other ramblings

Yes, Julie, you can take trains out of MI. We actually have an Amtrack station right here in flint. There must not be one anywhere near you,which is why you would do it the way you said.

Anyway, a pretty uneventful day. but speaking of trains....i was at my mom's until time to leave to get makenneh to school. I get to the train tracks further down on her road...a train is stopped on the tracks. So, i take the street that goes alongside the tracks....go through some back side streets and come to the next crossing...train had started moving, although at a very slow pace and was now blocking this cross....so i go up to the next crossing....just missed the clearing...finally, i called her teacher nad told her about the situation and that if i couldn't cross the next street up, i was just taking her home, bc i was on E and had no money on me. So, she stayed home this evening. Geesh, i hate when the trains are stopped like that, they take forever.

Carrie is getting frustrated with the whole shower date fiasco. She said she is to the point to just say just be sure to send her an invite. She doesn't want it hte last weekend in March, bc that's one week after her friend's shower and Carrie will be doing a lot for htat shower,bc nobody is really stepping up to help. But,like i told Carrie, she doesn't have to do anything for hers, but show up, eat, open gifts, socialize. She also feels funny having it that far before the wedding. which,i know isn't typical, but we are in a pickle and out of dates to do this. I gave her a very short list of possible dates to have it and told her to pick one and that would be it! LOL!

Well,im off here for now...gonna finish my rounds and get the kids to bed...good night

Good Morning!

Well, Sebastian has been getting up quite early...before 8am. Of course, we have all been going to bed earlier at night,too!

I talked to mark, markie and allana this morning...they were on the train, in Battlecreek, headed for AZ. They had been on the train an hour when i called. So, they are moving slightly faster than a car...but they said it feels like they are going super slow. I've never rode on a train like that, but i think it would be fun! Maybe someday we can go out and visit them and we will take train...

Sebastian got ahold of my phone yesterday, either while i was in bathroom or washing dishes and couldn't find it all darn day. I was so grumpy! All i could think was that my phone would be forever gone and I would have to just go without bc i can't afford a new one. I even drove to my mom's to have her call it when i got home, so i could hopefully find it. But, when i got to mom's, i found out jeremy was trying to get ahold of me all day to let me know he would be late...so the phone had been ringing all day and I couldn't hear it. Then, i got real bummed out. Well, i got home and when Jeremy got home, he came in and said, I know where your phone is..it's under their bed. Sure enough. Seb had taken Jeremy's phone the night before and that's where J found it. He turns the ringer off then stashes it. Wise guy! See, that's why i have to keep Jeremy around...he is so good at finding things when they are lost...lol. I get too frustrated and can't see straight,when things are lost.

My mom and sister went shopping yesterday morning and got the stuff to make the wedding programs. yes,make! Here's the kicker...we have to use a stamper and stamp this paisley print onto white card stock...covering the card stock. The stamper is about maybe 2"X2"....lol. Then,we are cutting the card stock in half, putting a layer of velum over it with the program info printed on the velum. then, gluing a tongue depressor sort of stick to the bottom. Using rafia to tie the cardstock and velum and it's going to be a "fan"/program. How appropriate, as they used them in the 0ld western days and the church is not air conditioned. It's going to be cute, even if it is a lot of work...lol. So, yesterday while i was there, we stamped a few sheets of card stock! It was thearaputic for my stress! We also have to make the tags to go on the mini cow bells that are to be wedding favors. The tags are going to say, "Hay Look who got married...Carrie and Ralph 7/7/07" with the grain of hay on each side. they look cute. Of course,the play on the word hay is difficult for me to swallow, bc i can't help but think....YOU ARE SPELLING THAT WRONG! LOL. i can't help it. I told her maybe she should use " " around hay, so everyone knows she meant to spell it that way. She said, there is hay on there..they should know. Hahhahahaha. Yep, mispellings is a huge pet peeve for me!

We got together with Sara's mom last night to plan the babyshower! It's getting to be the busy time....We have had to change dates so many times,my pocket calander is about glued together with white out. and last night we decided to move carrie's bridal shower up to March 31. Yep, a month away. Good thing I already got the plates and cups and we have the napkins. lol. Now she has to get registered asap so we can get invites out. But, mom doesn't want to have their showers so close together, bc it will be a big strain on everyone' s pocketbooks, including guests. She also wants carrie to be able to have her moment in the spotlight. Carrie always gets the raw end of things. And I even spoke up that she needs to have the spotlight at some point, as this is her day! Her senior year, dad was laid off for over a year, so money was tight...matt and i both had help with first cars, she didn't (back to financial situation). Although they did make their vehicles very accessible to her, it's not the same. So, when dad got his new car, he gave her his old one to sell,keep, do as she wished,even though she had her truck (well, ralph's truck for her) by this time. The point was, they were never able to help her that way and they felt they owed it to her to keep things fair. So, yeah, that's just a couple examples of how Carrie's life has gone...lol. This one thing, her wedding, needs to be special for her! Even if her brother is expecting his first child a month after her wedding!

Ok, time for breakfast....

You know you're from Michigan...

So this is going around Myspace now. It has gone around emails before, but every time i read it, i just have to laugh. I can relate to so much of it! LOL. For those of you not from Michigan, here's a taste of life in the Great Lakes State....hahaha

you know youre from michigan if...

1. You've never met any celebrities.

2. "Vacation" means going to Cedar Point.

3. At least 1 member of your family disowns you the week of the
Michigan/Michigan State game.

4. Half the change in your pocket is Canadian

5. You drive 86 mph on the highway and pass on the right.

6. Your idea of a traffic jam is 40 cars waiting to pass an orange
barrel.

7. You know how to play (and pronounce) Euchre.

8. It's easy to get VERNORS Ginger Ale, Sanders Hot Fudge sauce and Faygo Pop.

9. You know how to pronounce "Mackinac."

10. You've had to switch on the "heat" and the "A/C" in the same day.

11. You bake with SODA and drink a POP.

12. The movie "Escanaba in Da Moonlight" wasn't funny. You consider it a documentary.

13. Your little league game was snowed out.

14. The word "thumb" has geographical meaning, rather than anatomical significance.

15. You show people where you grew up by pointing to a spot on the back of your left hand.

16. Traveling coast-to-coast means driving from Port Huron to Muskegon.

17. You measure distance in minutes.

18. When giving directions, you refer to "A Michigan Left."

19. You know that Kalamazoo not only exists, but it is either raining or snowing there.

20. Your year has 2 seasons: Winter and Construction.

21. Home Depot on any Saturday is busier than toy stores at Christmas.

22. You know when it has rained because of the smell of worms.

23. Owning a Japanese car was a hangin' offense in your hometown.

24. Everyone you meet out of state thinks you know Eminem personally.

25. You actually understand everything I just said


Pass this on if you're from Michigan

AAHHHHH----Chooo And Happy Bday to You, brother!

Yeah, the allergies have kicked in. I am sneezing up a storm...itchy watery eyes and runny/itchy nose. bleh!

But, worse than that, my poor babies had to have shots today=( I know it is for the best,but it is still hard. Poor seb had to have 5 shots. Makenneh had 2. That's on top of the typical prick of the finger for iron count. Jeremy went with,a nd Im glad he did. I made him hold SEb for his shots. Poor daddy got teary eyed. It was actually cute to see the emotion. But,now both kids are done with shots for awhile, thankfully! i take that back, they both have to go back in a month for the follow up flu shot.

We didn't much in the way of snow. It seems to go that way..when they issue storm warnings, it seems we don't get much...lol. But, you won't hear me complain. It was also in the 30's all day today, which was nice. It's supposed to be about the same tomorrow.

When I picked Makenneh up from school tonight, she stood out in the snow with her mouth open wide trying to catch the huge snowflakes that were falling. It was too cute. I let her have her fun. I even joined in=) and started singing.."if all the snowflakes were candy bars and milkshakes, oh what a snow that would be. Standing outside with my mouth open wide...ah, ah, ah, ah ah ah ah....."

Today is my brother's bday. He is 25!!! Geesh we are gettin old...lol. It really is even hard for me to believe that he is 25 and ill be 27 in Aug. Of course it's even harder for mom to believe. And Carrie will be 24 this Nov. My mom, me, Matt and Sara went to Applebee's for his bday! It was nice...jeremy stayed home with Seb and Kenneh was at school. sometimes, it's so nice to get out without any kids! I feel so rejuvinated! Well, emotionally/mentally....the cold thing has me feeling yucky physically. LOL.

Well, gonna go for now.....

Whew

I don't remember if i posted this...i had a total of 9 kids here last night..8 total stayed(2 were mine). It was crazy. You see i get suckered into this often, dontcha? LOL. And every time i hear myself say, never again! It was nice to have help dealing with the dogs...that was a great relief. But, the night brought it's own drama too! So much so, that I found myself on here, emailing Helen for some advice, which i was glad to receive. Teenagers are certainly scary. Most of these teenagers smoke...they are all about partying and being stupid. Ugh! Then, there was a bigger issue with two of them (sisters). It was a tough situation. The older sister will be 16 in May and the younger will be 12 on the 2nd of march. The older sister has a friend and they are closer than best friends. They display their affections towards each other in front of the little sister and it upsets her. What an ordeal. Little sis spent a great deal of the night crying. She doesn't like the friend...she doesn't like any of it. I found out later into the night that lil sis has gone so far as trying to choke herself bc of what she saw her sister and her friend doing. That concerns me, but i was relieved to hear that lil sis is talking to the school counselor about all of it and the counselor has talked to her parents. I tried to get down to the bottom of this issue...was lil sis upset bc it was another girl? bc it was happening in general? was she embarassed? And like Helen said, the issue isn't about whether big sis is making out with boy or girl....that she shouldn't be doing it at all...in front of lil sis no less. I talked to lil sis about loving big sis regardless of her lifestyle choices. I reminded her that no matter what, she is still her sis and she can still love her and there is nothing for her to feel ashamed or embarrassed about. I then talked to big sis and told her that she shouldn't be doing those things and especially not in front of her sis. And as the girls have a strained relationship already (due to parents favoring lil sis), i also suggested that she take the time to spend some good, quality time with sis. I reminded her that when they move in a few days, they will only have each other for awhile. I think i got through, bc the rest of the night went much better.

The next dilemma comes in whether or not i should mention this to the parents. They know some of it as the counselor has contacted them and lil sis has told them some of it. But, being that big sis's attraction is toward the same sex, those outtings need to be chaperoned like a boy/girl date would be. I just know that this particular set of parents may not take the info well and beings that they are moving in 3 days, across the country, i just wonder if it is even worth it.

Anyway, I have an early appt in the morning...8am and I have to take the kids (WIC). I am not looking forward to it at all, on several levels. One, it's way too early to be up and out of the house, with the kids; we are supposed to get a severe winter storm tonight; and i just hate going down to the WIC office all together. My mom loaned me her car for the night,so i have a safe car..bc our car doesn't handle in the snowy weather too well (bald tires). That eliminates one problem. Jeremy's co-worker who he rides to work with isn't going to work tomorrow, so jeremy would have either had to drive our crappy car in the mess at 6am or stay home. he doesn't have a license and doesn't drive if he can help it. But,we have to pay our bills and he can't not go to work. He had to drive friday, too. However, with bad roads and a car that doesn't handle in it, he runs a higher risk of crashing, spinning out, etc and having to deal with police, who would take him to jail and impound our car. Soooo, we have decided he shall stay home. My mom was like, "yeah, then you can go with her in the morning and help with kids.." ahahhahaha, tonight when we got home, he was like, "do i have to go with you?" Grrrr! I said, well it would be very nice to have some help keeping the kids under wraps. But the very least you can do is get up and help me get them ready.

Sebastian is doing good in the big kid bed! Last night, he fell asleep on the couch, out of exhaustion and i put him in bed. He stayed there til this morning, when he climbed in our bed,with a soaked diaper...poor boy! Then tonight, i told him to go get in bed and it only took a couple times, he went in and laid down and fell asleep. Much more than i can say for his big sister...who is still up, fighting sleep with every ounce of her being!

We had a bday party for the girls today before they leave for AZ. It was the last thing i wanted to deal with after having all those kids overnight...but i of course, went. In our family, we usually just have parties at the house, serve dinner (today was chili and tossed salad) and have cake and ice cream..no frills! They had forgotten the ice cream at their place (party was at my other uncle's bc there is more room,not to mention,they have sold off most of their furniture, including their kitchen table set). So, we didn't get to have ice cream...i told them i was going home then...lol!

yeah, im rambling now, but im trying to kill time, waiting for the princess to meet the sandman! Heck, she probably scares him,too...so he is late coming...lol. Meanwhile,i am ready to drop!

Oh oh oh ....good news...i have no dogs to tend to! My brother came and got them today...they are at my moms. She is keeping Sparky for good and agreed to keep Jager for 2 weeks, no more. Im sure she is going to wish she had only agreed to a week! But, at least i don't have to deal with it. Today,when i got back from the store, the neighbor was out working on his car and stopped me to "inform" me that if the office catches the dog out there chained up, i'll get in trouble....as if i wasn't aware. Hhahahah! I know it's bc they didn't like him being out there, but it just irked me the way he assumed i was stupid. I said, "I am well aware of that, but my brother was in a bind and needed a place for the dogs right away..." Grrr. it may not have irked me as bad,except he has a few dogs himself and they sometimes end up in my yard to do their duty, bark at me on my porch, etc. I also made sure to let him know that I am on the good side with the owners.

Anyway, I am off here to find something else to do for a few mins..she can't be far from sleep now!

That Damn mail lady!!!

OOOh I am peeved beyond peeved!

So,i hear the mail truck coming and go out and STAND ON MY PORCH WITH THE DOG NEXT TO ME! She drives up, we make eye contact.....and she continues on. NO mail again. I was livid. She could have motioned for me to come get my mail or something...Then, to top it all off, a few mins later, I see my neighbor coming over...i got and he had my mail and said, "the mail lady was afraid of the dog." So, she GAVE MY MAIL TO MY NEIGHBOR, WHOM I DON'T EVEN KNOW!!! Not cool! He only handed me one thing (Which was my "love dr" i ordered from the adult party i went to last week...how nice!). So, i came in and looked up the USPS on the web and called. I lodged a complaint there, got a confirmation number and followed it up with an email. I am so mad. The lady i spoke with said that it is illegal for them to give mail to anyone...it has to go in the mail box, even if i am standing there with my hand out! So, she better be getting in trouble. This is rediculous. So, yeah, it's the weekend,we have no movies to watch, yet I am paying a monthly fee...it really grates on my nerves.

I can't find a number for our local post office, or i would call up and request that she bring me my damn mail before going home today. Grrrr! She used to do this shit to my brother all the time too. He would have Jager tied up, be out there, waiting for her, and she wouldn't deliver his mail. One day he got in his car and caught up to her. He was like, "Um, do i have any mail?" She said, yeah but the dog was out. HE said yeah and i was right there with him and he was no where near anywhere you had to go to deliver my mail. She is a bitch!

Oh, and top it off, she was driving the mail truck today..to each box. Usually she just parks at the end of the street and walks. So, she wouldn't have even needed to get out of her precious little mail truck to put my mail in my box. She still couldn't even do that! I so hope she gets in big trouble. I am not for getting ppl fired, reprimanded, whatever...but this is over the top!

on to other news:

Jeremy hadn't been gone long, when i was talking to my mom. Something clicked and I remembered that Makenneh's "male involvement bowling event" was this weekend. Jeremy had thought it was sunday, but saturday was sticking in my head. I dug for the sheet and sure enough, it is today. I discovered this at noon and it started at 1. So, i called him and he went and picked her up and they went. Im so glad that i thought to double check. She loves bowling...and it's good for her and daddy to do things like that by themselves!

Allana and Stephanie (2 cousins) wanna stay the night here tonight. I really don't feel much up to it, but Allana and them will be moving for AZ in a couple days, so i thought, what the heck. I will let them chase after kids and what not,and I will relax...lol! See, there are some redeeming qualities in teens and pre-teens. (of course, i won't think that when every dish in my house is dirty and messes everywhere...)

What to do with myself!

Well, the kids stayed with Markie and Allana last night....and Jeremy went to his brother's this morning...so i am all by myself! It is sooo quiet and peaceful! And boring....I know I need to work on the kids' bedroom but i don't feel like it just yet....We fell asleep last night before 8pm! That is no lie! And then, I woke up at 230am, bright eyed and bushy tailed! Of course, that was 6.5 hours of uninterrupted sleep! My body didn't know what to think. I got up and killed some time online, but then went back to bed around 4. Big mistake, bc when i woke up at 750,i was drowsy as all get out and went back to sleep til about 9am!

Mom, dad and brother are back from the UP, so hopefully my dog duties end today! Let me rephrase that..t.hey will end today...lol. I have no idea what he plans to do with Jager, but it is not my problem. He has had ample time to post flyers, an ad, whatever. We haven't gotten mail the past 2 days and I know it's because of that damn dog. The mail lady is afraid of him and even though he is chained up and can't reach the mailbox, she uses it as an excuse to not deliver the mail..she used to do it to matt and sara all the time, to the point that I suggested the lodge a complaint with the Postmaster. I can understand a dog running loose,but when they are chained up and not within her reach, it shouldn't be an issue. So, anyway, we belong to Blockbluster ONline, where we get movies in the mail and haven't gotten ours yet, bc no mial the past couple days. IT is irritating to me, that i am paying for something I can't get. So, i want the dog gone today before mail comes around..bc i want my movies, darn it!

Im working on a list of questions to take to the Habitat for Humanity meeting we will be going to. I am quite excited and hope this works out. The only thing that does really concern me is that they pick where it goes. Around here, there are certain neighborhoods/school districts, i do not want to live in, even if the house were FREE! So, i hope that they take those things into consideration when building. And School of Choice is almost not an option in these districts bc they lose so many students each year, they often won't give out the waivers for students to leave...bc face it, who wants to move INTO these districts? Nobody! That's the problem with where we are now. I wouldn't mind just moving to a 3 bdrm trailer here, bc it is very affordable and quiet and nice....BUT it's beecher schools and they don't give out waivers for SOC. So...that will be something important to keep in mind. I don't have to be in a high class neighborhood or the best school district....i just want to be where my kids can safely play outside without worry of drive by shootings or drug deals going on in front of our home.

Well, im off to find other ventures on here....and work on that list! I don't wanna forget anything!

When I'm an Old Lady

i think Helen has posted this before, but my Aunt Bev just emailed this to me and I thought i would post it here, bc it is sooo hysterical! I think I shall do just this:

When I'm an old lady, I'll live with each kid,

And bring so much happiness...just as they did.

I want to pay back all the joy they've provided.

Returning each deed! Oh, they'll be so excited!

(When I'm an old lady and live with my kids)

I'll write on the wall with reds, whites and blues,

And I'll bounce on the furniture...wearing my shoes.

I'll drink from the carton and then leave it out.

I'll stuff all the toilets and oh, how they'll shout!

(When I'm an old lady and live with my kids)

When they're on the phone and just out of reach,

I'll get into things like sugar and bleach.

Oh, they'll snap their fingers and then shake their head,

(When I'm an old lady and live with my kids)

When they cook dinner and call me to eat,

I'll not eat my green beans or salad or meat,

I'll gag on my okra, spill milk on the table,

And when they get angry...I'll run...if I'm able!

(When I'm an old lady and live with my kids)

I'll sit close to the TV, through the channels I'll click,

I'll cross both eyes just to see if they stick.

I'll take off my socks and throw one away ,

And play in the mud 'til the end of the day!

(When I'm an old lady and live with my kids)

And later in bed, I'll lay back and sigh,

I'll thank God in prayer and then close my eyes.

My kids will look down with a smile slowly creeping,

And say with a groan, "She's so sweet when she's sleeping!"

God Bless All Moms and Grandmas Everywhere!

She suggested I post this in their bedroom and read it to them each night. Hehhehee..reminder to me to do what it says..and maybe scare them into proper behavior. LOL.

We got the crib down and the new bed up. I shouldn't say "we" because my uncle put the new bed up himself. Thankfully he did so...bc who knows how long it would wait, otherwise. I still have to do some cleaning. I didn't wanna keep them waiting so i half-assed it so that the bed could go in there and figure i'll go back in there throughout the day and night and finish it up. The kids are staying with markie and allana tonight, so im gonna utilize that time to get it done and the stuff out of here! They will be shocked when they come home! Of cours,e with this new bed in there, there isn't room for toys anyway...not really even room to move!

Also, I want to thank Julie for her suggestion of Habitat for Humanity. I never thought of that before, but i will definitely check into it! Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!

I ordered me and kids pizza (stromboli for me) for lunch,bc Makenneh finally went in and picked up a lot of stuff, without me even knowing she was doing it. The bed was already set up and she was in there making all kinds of racket...she comes out awhile later and says, Mark, come here...then Mis, then me...and she showed up that her bedroom was clean! I was so proud of her!

Well, im off to google habitat for humanity and see what i can learn....

just let me blow some steam

I am ready to explode! Thier bedroom is worse than New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina. I don't even know where to start. Well, i did start..but that's when they both had to cram their bodies in there too, amongst the junk, and be in the way. I am ready to just start heaving it all out the bedroom window! I asked Makenneh to pick up all the mega blocks. She, instead, is worried about stuffed animals and playing. Sebastian is taking advantage of me being in the bedroom and reaking havoc everywhere else. He got up on the counter and got the Cheerios which are now all over the floor from one end to the other. And I can't help but ask myself why i am doing this? I am also looking at thier bedroom and wondering if this bed is even going to fit in there! It is a very small room! I just feel overwhelmed and think i shall sit here and cry for awhile. Of course, that won't accomplish much, but maybe it would relieve some of the tension i am feeling.

Ok, i gotta get off here nad tackle something, even if it's two kids who don't want to listen.

Where's my camera???

Today we had family fun night at school. I wanted to take my camera, but low and behold, it's nowhere to be found. the last time i remember seeing it was when Seb got his hair cut and i took pics..had it here,was gonna upload the pics to share and couldn't bc the printer wasn't hooked up. So, it has probably fallen behind the desk (as a lot of junk does). But, in my poor sickly shape, i am not going to climb down on all fours to look. So, I got no pics of the night.

The teacher set up a bunch of different games and had popcorn and juice...it was fun..but not that many ppl attended. I was shocked. Ah well. I didn't want to go, bc i feel like death warmed over,but i went. She had fun, that's all the counts!

My chest is near burning. I just hope im not getting pnuemonia. Ugh! All that time around mother in law...this crazy weather. But, i am thinking it is sinus infection mostly. My face hurts at all my sinus cavities...even into my jaw. And I have that nasty tickle in the back of my throat that produces that dry cough. The nurse had told me before that that tickle is caused from sinuses, so that coupled with the sinus pressure/headache....sinusitis im sure it is. ThenI can't help but freak out a little bit. My mom's cousin was married to a guy who got sinus infection that went untreated and it went ot his brain (encephalitis ..however u sp it.) and ended up basically a vegetable in assisted living home. Of course, the irony there is that my mom's cousin ran an adult foster home.

Anyway, this place is a trash hole today..i didn't have the energy to keep it picked up...so it's gone to hell in a hand basket. The worse news is, their bedroom is even worse than the rest of hte place and my aunt called tonight to tell me they would bring the bed over tomorrow,sometime after 9am. Great...where shall i put it? I have to take crib down, clean the room so you can even walk through it...throw out a lot of toys..lol...it's a mess! ugh...im exhausted thinking about it.

And i know this will be way tmi for most ppl, but having 2 kids has weakened my bladder something fierce. this dry cough puts me in spells where i near vomit ...and almost every time i cough just slightly more than a simple cough, i leak. So, im wearing pads for bladder protection. I am 26 yrs old...why do i feel the need for freakin depends???!!! I think our family has weak bladder issues though. My mom has weak bladder and my lil sis does and she hasn't even had any kids and is only 23. I know,i know, do keagal exercises (not spelled right, im sure). I just have a problem with remembering to do them. Simple as they are. I could sit here and do them. But i don't...instead, i piss my pants with every cough and sneeze. LOL. So what am i bitching for? hahahahaha! Because im a woman and I can! Seriously though, i did start doign them tonight...too little too late, for the current problem, i suppose. To all you ladies out there...get doing ur keagals! Prevent the need for depends before the age of 30! That's my public service announcement for the day! Ya know,i used to have awesome bladder control. What happened? Good thing im done having children...one more and I may just have to have a permanant cathetar. Now that's sexy...nearly as sexy as pissing ur pants.

So,if ya want a funny but gross story (what's wrong with me tonight...don't I know that dear Helen reads this blog and surely doesn't wanna hear this story....cover ur eyes, Helen. I will feel better if i think you don't read this....lol)
I went to bed rather early last night...around 10-1030. I fall asleep, but wake up in a coughing spell....leeaaaakkkkk...off go the pants. So, im too darn tired to fiddle with getting clean undies/pants on...crawl back in bed with nothing but a tshirt on. Ok, anyone see where this is going?! Around 2am, i am awakened to my dear hubby feeling frisky! Don't ppl sleep at 2am? Geesh! But, i feel special, bc he is up, from a dead sleep, bc he tried spooning me in his sleep and his nether regions must have realized BINGO, this mama doesn't have anything on her bottom half! And well...that must have woke him up! But ya know how hard it is to feel "in the mood" when the only true reason ur naked is bc you pissed ur pants and were too tired to put something else on? LOL! But, i humored him for a brief moment..then went back to bed. Sadly, he was unable to go back to sleep so stayed up til it was time to get ready for work...prob surfing the net for porn....ok, no really, playing Gears of War on his Xbox 360, bc nothing is really as satisfying to him as that game. LOL.

OK,Helen, you can open ur eyes...lol!
My mom, dad and brother will be home some time tomorrow, thankfully. Mostly im thankful bc im sick of the dog dilemma. I don't even like dogs! Betcha didn't know that...lol. I am going to have to be mean and frank to my brother. I cannot deal with Jager anymore. I am tired. I have been taking care of him for 3 weeks and I have had my fill of loading kids in car to go let him out, then this week, having him here during the day out on a chain (which is against park rules...no dogs outside unattended, period), barking at anything that moves,including the neighbors when they come and go from their own home, shitting in my yard, having to take him back to their empty trailer every night to repeat the process in the am! Ugh! Im so over it! I know it's hard to get rid of a family pet. If he had to get rid of Sparky,I would die! But, part of being a grown up is having to make grown up decisions and sometimes they aren't nice ones. Jager has to go...if not to a new home, sadly to the pound. I really don't know if they will find someone to keep him...he is obnoxiously hyper. OF course, that's one of the things I don't like about dogs, so that could just be me..but i hate licking and jumpy and all that. I also hate watching Sparky mope around here like he has lost his best friend. All the dog does is lay around and sleep. He just looks so sad and lost. He is old and needs his boy to comfort him. Not to mention, this crazy dog really thinks he is a lap dog. I tried laying down on the couch earlier, Sebastian was right there, wanting up...so i pull him up...he climbs to my feet and lays down...then Sparky is right there, climbing up and plops down right on me...lol. He was in heaven! He loves to sleep with ppl. Right now, he is sleeping with Makenneh, which is funny, bc he doesn't care too much for kids, especially in his old age. But, for whatever reason, he has always been very good with my 2. But, like my dad says,he knows that they belong and that if he should ever mess up, he is gone! He lets them pet him, pull at him,all that stuff that little kids do. Most kids, he growls a warning to stay away. He just doesn't like them. which, in all honesty, who can blame a dog? They suffer great torture at the hands of toddlers and kids! LOL. Some days, i wanna just growl too....ok, some days, i do! I really think Makenneh has some connection with animals sometimes,while we speak of dogs. like the first day we had sparky here, he was mopey and she goes up to him and pets him and says sympathetically, "do you miss your best friend, huh?" Then she says to me, he said he does miss his friend. Not with his mouth, bc dogs can't talk. I was like Whaaaa??!!! in my own head. Where did she come up wtih that. She always does stuff like that. The other day her hampster bit her. (I would have too...she just wanted to sleep and Makenneh wanted her to go through obstacles of toys and go in this box and this cube and on and on....lol). At first she was mad. I told her that her hampster probably had had enough and just wanted to be left alone. She goes to her and says, "I'm sorry for doin nat." Then she says to me, my hampster told me sorry for biting me,mommy! It's too cute! Dr. Doolittle in the house!

Ok, ive dragged on enough. I need to hit publish before I lose it all, bc i just had a close call. My speedy fingers just hit the wrong buttons and i thought it was all gone! Unlucky for you, huh? Bc i certainly wouldn't have rewritten all of this!

Anyways, good night

Not like Barbie...

One more reason to be "just like barbie..."

Her head turns all the way around!

I have been urging Makenneh to wipe her own butt! Well, she comes up with lots of reasons not to..it's nasty, i don't want to..and the latest....My head doesn't turn back there; not like barbie's.

i couldn't help but think of the saying, "I wanna be like Barbie. That Bitch has everything"...even a head that turns all the way around for easier bum wiping! LOL.

I love the "it's nasty" reason too. I remind her that it isn't any more pleasant for me to have to do it! Why do kids think that moms enjoy cleaning up puke, wiping butts, runny noses....lol.

The new way to freshen your car

Want your car to smell sweet and yummy? It's simple! buy a 24oz Cappaccino in your fave flavor. Put it in the cup holder in your car; add rambunction dog and mix well! ENJOY~!

Or not...bc i know i didn't enjoy it. I was livid. So, the guy who took Jager, called yesterday that his landlord wouldn't let him keep the dog. So, Sara had to go pick him up again. Only this time, she can't have him running amuck in their trailer, as the ppl wanting to buy it will be over and he tears shit up when he is left unattended for long periods of time, not to mention will pee and poop everywhere if not let out enough. So anyway, Matt suggested tying him up at my parents' house. So, she did that, but then felt bad bc he has never been outside at night and he's a big baby. So, she has me go get him last night around 1030,bc she can't leave the home. I had stopped and gotten the cappaccino on my way out bc I wanted something hot to help my sinuses,maybe...lol. Well, I put him in the car, ran back to grab his food dish and voila....cap dumped all over my floor boards. Sure, the car smells good enough to eat...but damn it, i was mad. But,i got him back to their trailer,where he stayed overnight in a crate...this morning, sara is bringing him over here to be tied outside. I can't have himin here, he is too rambunction and there isn't room for 2 full size dogs. NOt to mention, he might snack on my kitty!

The plan is, i will then take him back to their trailer and crate him at night. And every morning she will come and bring him over here to be chained out, until Friday, when Matt gets home. Unless she finds a home for him first. SHe did mention last night that someone else wanted him. Hopefully it works out! I have had my fill of dogs. I had to do all that crap with that dog last night with an excruciating headache.

I was up all night with that same headache. I also have a nasty cough. And thanks to a weak bladder, every time i cough, well, those of you who have had a couple kids or more, you know the rest of the story! Not to mention,it makes my head hurt that much more!

Now, onto the picture I woke up to this morning:

Sebastian had woke up early this morning and beings that I had been up all night with a severe headache,i just brought him to bed with me. Well, i swear he waited for me to fall back asleep and slithered out of the bed. I woke up to him climbing back into bed with a sucker in his mouth, crunching on it. I came out to the living room, the hampster cage open and the top hideout hut removed from the cage, water dumped all over my coffee table, on the newspaper, just trashed to high heaven. I wanted to cry. But, with that headache still nagging at the front of my brain, i knew crying would only make it worse. I instead stumbled to my phone where i called Jeremy for some comforting.

My day has gotten off to a rotten start. i really hope that it gets better.
On a positive note, the hampster stayed in her cage despite having a get out free pass from Sebastian. So, at least I don't have to explain to Makenneh that her hampster is gone or worry about an awful stench appearing from her crawling somewhere and dying...whew!

Makenneh's speech therapy is today at 1. I'll be glad to get it done and find out where she stands.

Well, im off here....

So Sad, my poor doggy

Let me start by saying that my brother got his dog back when i was in like 7th or 8th grade. I am not a dog fan at all. Give me a cat anyday over a dog. But, Sparky has grown on me over the years and I love this black and white dog! I often refer to him as MY dog...lol. Well, my brother and Sara had to move with Sara's new job in the adult foster home, displacing Sparky and thier pit bull, Jager. So, I have been going back and letting them out and feeding them for the past couple weeks. Plus, my brother would stop there every morning to take the dogs for a ride. They can't have the dogs at the home, so the dogs were staying at thier trailer until it sells.

Anyway, today Sara finally found a new home for Jager, just in time. Otherwise, he was gonna end up at the pound and ultimately, euthanized, as ppl fear the pit bull breed. Well, she needed a place for Sparky to stay until my parents get home from their snowmobiling trip (then sparky is going back to their place). Sooo, beings that I love this silly old dog, I had to let him stay here. Mind you, i just live one street up in the same park as my brother and sara did. Sooo, I get sparky home, let him out to do his duty and he took off. This isn't overly unusual for him, he loves to wonder and explore. But, i didn't like it, bc i don't want anything happening to him on my watch. I would never forgive myself....brother prob wouldn't either...lol. So, i load the kids back into the car to drive around and look for him. You will not guess (yes you will) where I found him. At the trailer "home",waiting! I got him in the car again and brought him back to my place. The 2nd time i let him out, same damn thing! I just let him out a little bit ago and he did it again. This time, when i got out of the car, he went up on their porch and just sat at their door. IT is so sad! This poor dog is just beside himself. He wants his boy! And to make matters worse, that boy (my brother) is up north with my parents. The dog just mopes about, laying around, not interested in life at all.

The poor old dog has lost his brother (Jager) and has to stay at a new place (mine) all in the same day...and where is his boy at? Where oh where can he be? I feel so bad for Sparky. It makes me all teary eyed every time he runs back "home".

On a plus note, Sara had me go with her to take jagie to his new home and when we got back here, the guy from freecycle was here to pick up the dresser i listed. Well, sara told him that she had another one if he was interested....so we all went back to her place to show him. Well, he asked if they were selling the trailer and for how much. He said he would talk to his brother in law as he is looking for a place. Tomorrow a guy from another park is supposed to come look at the trailer. He is interested in buying it and moving it to his park. So, we will see who has the best offer and comes up with it first. But, it looks like they won't have to worry about paying lot rent until it sells!

Facing the Giants - movie review

I rented this movie the other day and jeremy had watched it last night while I was out. He told me that it was a great movie and I had to see it. Well, i put it in this morning...and great movie is an understatement. I will be buying this movie to add to our collection.

I sobbed through the entire thing! Not so much in sadness, but in joy. If you haven't seen it yet or even heard about it..it's about a football team that is on a losing streak. The coach is facing many problems/fears, both in his personal life and with his coaching career. He turns to God for strength and guidance and his prayers are all answered. It is very moving! When you are feeling down and out, defeated....this is a reminder that with God, all things are possible. It reminds us that we have hope! We just have to believe.

I have to add here that Jeremy often questions his faith. I guess it would be best to describe him as agnostic. Although, moreso lately, i have heard him confess that he does believe in God,just not organized religion. At any rate, when i rented this movie, I already knew it had a strong religious message. I seriously thought he wouldn't be interested in it! I was so wrong! When he told me that it was a great movie and I had to watch it, I knew it had to be good. I now wish we could have watched it together, but at least we both got to watch it. I think that tonight, we might sit down and watch it again, as a family.

I definitely give the movie 2 thumbs up, 5 stars, highest ratings! I strongly recommend renting it or buying it!

Wake me if I'm dreaming

Today went sooo well that I just feel like im in some kind of a dream. I went to the pure romance party...won the game and got a free tube of the Whipped edible massage cream (orange dreamsicle flavor) and i just love that stuff...you can even use it just for lotion...and it smells great!

I came home to a house that was still pretty clean,with a few toys here and there. When I asked makenneh to pick up her toys, she did it! No asking twice, no whining, just did it! I kept praising her and telling her thank you and saying what a good girl she was. She was so lovey and sweet and kind and mannerful (is that even a word..i may be making my own). She was a pure and sweet joy! I read her one of her Clifford books and we just had a great night. I wish every day or even just most days were this good! This is how things should be. Maybe having a clean house is good for everyone. i know i feel so much better without all the mess! And of course,me feeling better is sensed by them i'm sure.

I'm not trying to brag; ok maybe i am...because right now, i feel like the Queen of England! My husband cleaned the house, on his own, without so much as a hint from me to do so...he even worked diligently on the laundry! He helped me with the folding and putting away, he looked after the kids while i went out for a few hours, he fixed them dinner and fed them and they were all good and happy and my kids were excellent and I just feel like i am on cloud 9! Maybe I should have played the Lotto today...it certainly seemed to be my day!

Also, one of the guys who went out with us on Saturday to the bowling alley had said to look him up on myspace. He is my husband's cousin's boyfriend's cousin...did ya follow all that? LOL. Anyway, i found his myspace today and was reading his blog and he has written some very inspiring, thought provoking, uplifting, positive message sending blogs. I couldn't help but feel a sense of peace from reading them. He talked about the important things in life, the real meaning of Valentine's day, overlooking your significant other's shortcomings and appreciating the simple things and showing appreciation for each other and all this stuff. There are really men out there that see this? Seriously though, he touched on "....if you are a woman with a man who "forgot" about valentine's day, don't be hard on him. He was thinking of you and he is better for having you in his life. Most men just don't even like the fact that Vday exists..." something to that affect. That is not a direct quote. but, nontheless, it made me think about how much of the very small things Jeremy does for me, as well as the big things, that i take for granted. Sure, he didn't think to get me a card or flower or anything on vday, but he did spend Vday night with me, Saturday all afternoon and evening..he cleaned my house, he was a model husband. Then, tonight, while at that party, when i talked about Jeremy having cleaned the house and done so mcuh for me, she says, he does that a lot for you..clean the house. You're so lucky! You have a good husband." I couldn't help but swell with pride! Yeah, he does some dumb stuff. But, he also does a lot of wonderful stuff. He still has some rough edges, but he also has some very soft spots! So what, he likes to play video games....he could be out with his friends getting into trouble, or sitting at a bar or something i would really much rather he not be doing.

I know, im going on and on, but i really want to savor this day! I want to bottle it up and save it for all times so that i might pull it out and drink from it on days that aren't so great. So i can remember that all the horrible humdrum happenings of life are really worth it. Days like today make life worth living!

So, to my dear husband and precious children, I Love you more than you will ever know and I am so glad to share this life with you!!!!

Oh,Glorious Weekend!

This weekend was far better than the week was! Saturday, I took the kids to my moms for awhile to visit before they leave for their snowmobiling trip to the UP. We left there after a few hours and came back home to get the kids ready for staying the night with Jeremy's mom. Well, Jeremy had stayed home while the kids and i went to my moms. I came home to a clean house, washer and dryer humming away. I was sooo happy! I decided that Hallmark can keep their Valentine's Day Cards. This was soosoo much better than any card or flowers or candy! When i got back from taking the kids to gma's for the night, we watched a movie, hung out, then went bowling with his cousin and her boyfriend. We had a great time. I had far too many drinks, but it was nice to just cut loose for a night! Today, when i went to get the kids, Makenneh was being a bit bratty, but got better on the way home. I told them on the way home that daddy cleaned the house and we are going to work hard to keep it that way. I told them that no toys are to be out in the living room and we must pick up after ourselves. When we got home, i also explained that bedtime is at 830 and when i say it's time for bed, they are go in and go to bed. she said ok. (Yeah, we will see what she really says come 815 when i start counting down to bedtime). I also told her that if they were good all day long that they could stay up 15 mins longer but if they were naughty during the day, they had to go to bed at 8pm. I figure if i push this, then it will makes things so much better. It will give her something to strive for during the day and it will make bedtime more peaceful. So far,and it's been 3 hours, they have gotten along just great! They have been excellent kids. And i have folded laundry, Jeremy has helped and everything is just peachy keen in the Howart house for now! May it continue to go so well!

I am off to get stuff ready for dinner. I have another Pure Romance Party tonight to go to, so dinner has to be done before that!

Crazy kid

I am having the hardest times posting these pictures. I swear I may just scream. Anyway, these were taking Vday at my aunt n uncle's. The kids "styled" his hair and the first do was a mohawk,which my aunt said no to...then they gave him an all over spiked look, which made him look like he stuck his finger in the light socket....lol. From the looks of this first picture, he doesn't look too thrilled with a mohawk, either...lol.
I have no idea what he was actually doing in this picture, but he looks grown up...doing a dance move or something..
This pic is the coolest...he is doing the matrix. See at the top of the pic there is a big exercize ball...he is bent over,nearly all the way, watching it...My cousin kicked it and he bent back to watch it..my uncle was able to snap the pic at just the right time!


See, he doesn't even look like little boy!

I cant wait ;to show his dad these pics! if only you could have seen him IRL when i picked him up. I couldn't help but laugh.
All the hair styling, picture posing, ball chasing fun must have tired him out...bc he fell asleep in my lap like this in an instant!

Shall I fill you in???

Well, my Vday was a big let down. It never got better. I called him on his way home from work and he asked if i had gotten a sitter. Well, Makenneh ended up at my mom's but i still had sebastian. I told him i could call and see if my cousin would watch him for a bit. He then asked if I just wanted to order food in. I said, yeah sounds good to me. We had some movies to watch and i figured it would be nice.

Well, he gets home while I was taking Sebastian to my cousin's and the neighbor lady to the store. I come home, half hoping that maybe there would be some candles lit or something...nothing! he was actually just getting out of the shower. no big deal. So we talk about what to get for dinner. WE decided on KFC...yeah how romantic huh? LOL. So, then he wants me to go get it! Sure, it is just down the street, but damn, I have rounded up the babysitters, dropped kids off, and he wants me to get dinner too! bleh. To top it off, he didn't even get me a card. I was sooo upset. So, i go get the food, bring it back and by this time i just don't have an appetite. I was upset with him because he made out like he was going to do something special and he did squat!!!! Then, to top the cake, we didn't get our biscuits. Such a trivial thing, but it just added to my bad day.

Makenneh had been horrendous, locked me out of the house when i went out to start the car, Sebastian dumped ashtray into my last glass of pop, she threw a big fit when it was time to get ready for her speech evaluation, didn't want me to wash the makeup off her face,help her get dressed, nothing. I had to hold her down to wash her face...and finally i just called and canceled the appt, bc it wouldn't have been productive with her in her fit. She called my mom to tell gma that mom was mean and to come get her and her brother. I talked to mom and she said to come over. I get them loaded and over there. Sebastian had fell asleep on the ride, and call me the worst mother, but i let his butt stay right out in the car....the car stayed warm bc the sun was intense..and he was checked on constantly. But, i just couldn't bear to deal with him being woke up and grumpy. Makenneh went out on the couch with gma and watched Dora. When i went out to living room, she told me to go away. So, i said, "you wantme to leave?" she said yes. So i told her to ask gma if she could stay. Gma said yes, so i was like, "Im outta here, then".

Back to Jeremy being home, i choked down some dinner. He had asked what was wrong, bc i had tears stinging my eyes....so i told him. He said he was sorry,but sometimes,that's just not enough to undo the hurt. I tried to get over it and still enjoy the night, but it took me awhile to even be able to laugh at the movie. i ended up falling asleep halfway through it. I woke up when it was over and he put in the 2nd movie which ended up being scary! Bleh! But, it was ok. So, I decided to call my mom to see if she was keeping Makenneh overnight or if i needed to come get her. They were just getting home from my uncles, and Makenneh was talking about making wishes on stars. She said she wished her mom wasn't mean and then she said she wished her mom loved her. My heart shattered in a million pieces and i just cried. no,i sobbed. I got better, finished watching the movie, and it was time to get Sebastian. We snuck in a tad bit of adult fun, but i really wasn't even too much into that...bc i just had the shittiest day.

Fast forward to this morning, Mom brings Makenneh home and she is throwing a fit in the car about wanting to do it herself. Well, my mom hadn't done anything and couldn't figure out what it was that she wanted to do herself. I go out there and she is just flailing all over in the seat screaming about doing it herself. I told her that she can do it herself, but she had to unbuckle and get out of the car. She finally does but she dind't want us to even move while she walked up to the door. She was just being an absolute brat! She has had a chip on her shoulder ever since. I don't know what to do about her. She has gotten a bit better now..she is watching Barney, but i am so sure that the slightest thing will set her off again.

And there it is...brother got in the way of the tv, so she shoved him down and said get outta my way. Grrrrr! What to do with this child?

The switch, growing packages and crazy kids

Oh and hot men, why not throw that in there, too!

I switched to the beta version finally. I hope I like it. So far, i see very little difference. I have to like it, there is no going back, is there...lol.

I have to get Sophie's package in the mail before I have to upgrade to a darn box. I keep picking things up to put in there. Helen, I did buy a pack of Happy 18th Bday balloons....you can get them filled or just let the kids use their hot air to blow them up...lol. I will also confess to putting a bit of confetti in one of her bday cards...the one with the blue envelope. So be sure she opens it over the table or something...lol!

The kids are driving me absolutely crazy today! I am so glad I have Bunco tonight and I think I will meet Jeremy at the door, keys in hand ready to run! LOL. Makenneh refuses to pick up her toys. So, tonight, they shall all go in garbage bags and out to the shed. I am done begging her to pick them up. She will learn that mom means business, especially when im feeling over the edge...lol.

I have worked at uncluttering the dining room and the table is completely accessible. I also opened the curtain thing and that exposes the big bay window that Sebastian feels he needs to climb in. I am sure I have mentioned before that these windows are paper thin and wouldn't take much to fall through...i can see him doing this. And speaking of breaking things, he started the day out with breaking one of my glass canisters i had in the bathroom for cotton balls. HE was mad and just whipped it at the toilet, glass shattering everywehre. I had to get out of shower, shampoo in hair, to remove him from the bathroom and finish my shower. I then had to stand ever so carefully, naked to boot, to clean up all the glass. I was not happy. So anyway, now that the dining roomis cleaned out, they feel the need to play in there..which wouldn't be a big problem but for now, the kitty box is in there and seb loves to play in it. How disgusting. Speaking of which, I just had to go get him out of it. HE is in his crib. He can take a nap, where he has nothing to get into. He does strip the bedding from the crib though. I can't keep a sheet on his mattress. I give up trying. He must like to sleep on it that way.

Ya know, i remember my mom saying that she could never have anything...bc kids getting into it,breaking it, what have you. I so feel her pain. I can have NOTHING AT ALL! I went to a pure romance party last week (i go to many of these). I got some tingly lip balm/nipple nibbler stuff. I love it for chapstick, bc it works so well. Forget the booby use...lol. I could care less if my nipples perk up at hubby's touch or not! LOL. Anyway, i keep it in my purse. I go in the bathroom a little bit ago and there sits my lip balm. This stuff is like 12.50 a container. I had bought dust me pink powder from one of the parties....Makenneh got ahold of it and it is all gone! I know it tastes good, but it is not cotton candy! It is to be used sparingly....I got a tube of their Whipped Lotion lube stuff. Strawberry Cheesecake flavored. Guess what? It's missing. I really hope that it is under the bed, but i have a feeling she may have snatched it. She just goes in my room and helps herself. I am sick of it. We now have a lock, but jeremy bought it and ding dong didn't get a lock set with a key....so it does little good to keep them out when i am not in. Whew! What a vent1

Hot men...let's talk about those. It is much funner to talk of good looking men than crazy kids who get into everything. Our maintenance guy is one of the hottest guys I have seen. He isn't like calvin Klein model hot by any means...but he has his head shaved and he has a goatee going and he just looks so hotttt. it's quite pleasurable to watch him work! I'm sure that would just make his head swell with male ego to know that i think that...lol. Ok, really, that's all the rantings i have for now! I need to go back to cleaning the kitchen, but i just feel my attempts are futile at best. But, if im to plan anything slightly special for tomorrow, then a clean homewould be a great start! Although, that would really be the best gift he could give me...a day off!

Ok, my ideal Valentine's Gift

Would have to be him getting us a hotel room with a jacuzzi. Taking me to dinner and then to the hotel,where I would find the bed covered in rose petals, candles lit and champagne on ice. He would help me out of my clothes for a massage, then send me to the shower. I would come out to find him in the jacuzzi...the jacuzzi full, petals floating amongst suds. Soft music playing and nothing but candle light lighting the room. The rest is far to Xrated for my audience...lol.

but while Im at it...i would wake the next morning to breakfast in bed....Then, reality hits!

My practical side says there are other things I would much rather have, though. Maybe not "practical, practical" but not so extravegant....An orchid, as mentioned before, him to clean to a shining finish, a certificate for a massage maybe (although the thought of being naked, with towel wrapped around me, while some stranger soothes the aches and pains away makes me squeamish. The me naked part does it. LOL. Can you leave ur clothes on for those things? hehehehe.

Anyway, I bet he gets me something funny like surround sound for the computer, which i admit to wanting, but it's not a romantic kinda gift at all. I hate those kinds of gifts for romantic holidays like vday. Save those things for Christmas,bdays.

Oh back to more realistic ideas....a new bed set, curtains for the bedroom, a clean bedroom while im at it....new pillows, new mattress......

ok, i am bored, not ready for bed,enjoying peace and quiet, as kids and hubby are sound asleep and there isn't jack to do online but fantasize about being swept off my feet by my hubby. I think i shall go hunt for something to do on here....

is it bedtime yet?

It's only quarter after 8, but it feels like midnight. I am soo tired. We had a busy day on the go though!

We weren't able to go bowling yesterday bc none of the bowling alleys had open bowl yesterday until late at night. So, we went today. We got there around noon,bowled for a couple hours (Jeremy's dad and dad's gf met us up there) and then we left there and went to lunch at Mr. Browns. The kids were exhausted. After lunch, we stopped by my brother's new place and Jeremy looked at their computer for them,bc every time Sara turned it on,it would shut itself off. So, busy busy day! Now, jeremy is bed, and im getting ready to put Sebastian down here in the next 15 mins. hopefully makenneh falls out soon after,as well.

I am getting a bit excited about valentine's day, bc i found out that jeremy has money tucked aside to do something for me. I totally didn't expect that, because we don't usually do much for those holidays for each other. He told me not to say anything, bc he has ideas and doesn't want me to feel like he only thought of them because i told him. So, we shall see what he manages to pull off. I am trying not to get my expectations up too high, bc he is still a man. The type of man that buys the humor greeting cards I may add. And while humor is good, i am a fish for warm mushy greeting cards and rarely ever go for funny in a card. I'd kinda like an orchid for vday...and i know he would never pull that off without me telling him, bc it's not a typical thought. Now,i have to plan/think of something to do for him. hmmmm. I used to be a mushball about vday. I used to go all out for it. then, i got over it. So,i need to tap back into that part of me that used to love valentine's day! And soon, as it's this wednesday!

Too Early

I woke up at 830 after having Makenneh in my bedroom playing loudly with her kitten for a couple hours.....meh! I feel drained. I feel so out of sorts this morning and then Jeremy just added to it. It started when he asked if he could buy a video game. That always sets me reeling, bc he would spend an endless amount of money on video games. When we had gotten that loan back in the fall, he spent 400 on an XBOX 360, with the deal being that I would get to spend an equal amount on me come tax time. Well, that time has come almost gone. There is only 470 left of our taxes and I have made no major purchases for myself. IN fact, I haven't really made any for myself. He says, "I didn't buy a dress for me, did I?" That topped it for me. He is referring to the dress I HAD to buy for my sister's wedding. As if i went out and chose a dress for a freaking evening party or something. I am her matron of honor...her SISTER! OOOohhhh i was livid! He tried backpeddling, but the things with words is once you say them, the damage is done.

I am ready to snap this morning...kids acting up, makenneh being mouthy and mean, Sebastian into everything and I just want to run. I am having an anxiety attack.

Ya know, Jeremy had asked what was wrong, shortly after i woke up..i just said i had a bad night..he never questioned any further, then sprung the whole buying yet another video game on me. When i would have loved to be held and comforted, he was busy playing video games. I wanted to talk and cry, he talked to the other players on the video game. I just feel so second rate right now. And I guess part of me is frustrated with myself. He told me i could have the rest of the money on the card, and he would even give me $70 to go with it. the thing is, it's not about that. It's about the fact that the money i spend is for the home,the family. rarely ever for myself. Yet, all he thinks about is himself when it comes to spending money. I just want for him to think of other things to spend money besides video games and their systems.

I don't know, i am just blah right now, and i think im gonna go lay down.

I woke up and was informed by Makenneh that we are going bowling this afternoon. That is one nice thing..in fact, for half a second,i thought my day was going to go great...

When Tomorrow Starts Without Me

When tomorrow starts without me,
and I’m not there to see;
If the sun should rise and find your eyes,
all filled with tears for me;
I wish so much you wouldn’t cry,
the way you did today,
while thinking of the many things,
we didn’t get to say.

I know how much you love me,
as much as I love you,
and each time that you think of me,
I know you’ll miss me too;
But when tomorrow starts without me,
please try to understand,
that an Angel came and called my name,
and took me by the hand,
and said my place was ready,
in heaven far above,
and that I’d have to leave behind,
all those I dearly love.

But as I turned to walk away,
a tear fell from my eye,
for all life, I’d always thought,
I didn’t want to die.
I had so much to live for,
so much yet to do,
It seemed almost impossible,
that I was leaving you.

I thought of all the yesterdays,
the good ones and the bad,
I thought of all the love we shared,
and all the fun we had.

If I could relive yesterday,
just even for awhile,
I’d say goodbye and kiss you
and maybe see you smile.

But then I fully realized,
that this could never be,
for emptiness and memories,
would take the place of me.

And when I though of worldly things,
I might miss come tomorrow,
I thought of you, and when I did,
my heart was filled with sorrow.

But when I walked through heaven’s
gates,
I felt so much at home.
When God looked down and smiled at me,
from His great golden throne,
He said, "This is eternity,
and all I’ve promised you".
Today for life on earth is past,
but here it starts anew.
I promise no tomorrow,
but today will always last,
and since each day’s the same day,
there’s no longing for the past.

But you have been so faithful,
so trusting and so true.
Though there were times you did some things,
you knew you shouldn’t do.
But you have been forgiven
and now at last you’re free.
So won’t you take my hand
and share my life with me?

So when tomorrow starts without me,
don’t think we’re far apart,
for every time you think of me,
I’m right here, in your heart.

David M. Romano

Grave marker

So maybe it was Helen's post about her dad and feeling gloomy lately,but I was laying in bed,trying to fall asleep, when I could hear my aunt Dawn's voice...she said something about the snow..just as in every day conversation. I tried so hard to hold on to the sound of her voice and what she said...but it drifted away all too fast. Then,I was jolted out of bed with the strong desire to check on grave markers for her because still, 2.5 yrs later, she doesn't have one. This fact haunts me all the time. I know they are costly and just figured they would be way out of my reach financially, because, well, we have one income, raising a young family and trying to make our ends meet. But, I can't help but feel like something has to be done to get a marker on her grave. So, i came to the computer to google grave markers and the first site blew me away...they were all around 900.00 to start. Egads, I know I could never come up with that amount of money without causing hardship in the household. So, i thought I would check another site. I found one where we could get a double companion (she is buried next to her infant daughter, Amy,who died of crib death and also has no marker) marker shipped for about 495. So, I sent for a price quote on two different ones. I should have a quote within 48 hours.

My thought is that, she has 5 siblings, numerous adult nieces and nephews and there is no reason why we can't all pitch in what we can spare to make this happen. Of course, timing is bad,as we have weddings, open houses and baby showers up the wazoo this spring/summer, but i figure if we all saved from now til the end of the year, we should be able to pull it off. It would cost less than 100/family.

I just feel so bad bc her whole life she felt she was invisible and this just seems to solidify that thought. I can't stand it. If money weren't an issue, I would have a monument built to memorialize (is that a word,is it spelled right if so?) her and her life. (it's 2am and I have attempted sleep twice,forgive me on the wording...).

And then I've decided that if none of the family want to help, our next year's income taxes are getting a marker on her grave.

If Tears Could Build A Stairway

If tears could build a stairway
And memories were a lane
I would walk right up to Heaven
And bring you back again

No farewell words were spoken
No time to say goodbye
You were gone before I knew it
And only God knows why

My heart still aches in sadness
And secret tears still flow
What it meant to lose you
No one will ever know

But now I know you want me
To mourn for you no more
To remember all the happy times
Life still has much in store

Since you’ll never be forgotten
I pledge to you today
A hallowed place within my heart
Is where you’ll always stay

Author Unknown

SShhhhhh....

Be berry berry quiet...it is only 956 and i have two sleeping children. That's right..not one but two! Niether gave a fuss. I put Sebastian in his crib then Makenneh came out and laid down on the couch and fell right asleep. We had a horrible evening, though and im sure it exhausted her to throw so many fits. All the throwing of toys and such is sure to wear a little one out! When I ask her why she throws things, she tells me that she likes to throw things and that's what she does. she sounds so grown up and sophisticated as she explains this to me, but it is worrisome. I don't understand her desire to throw things and hit and scream. Well, i guess, the latter 2 make more sense. But, neither Jeremy nor I throw things and we don't hit each other or anything, although, there are spanking handed out in this home. They are few and far btwn, which, im beginning to think is apparent. I wish I would have been firmer with her from the get go. But, i brought this bundle of joy home and she was so precious and even though she kept me up day and night and on my toes with her incessent crying...i still fell madly and deeply in love with this child and in doing so, lost sight of the fact that I still had to put my foot down. instead, i was soft and gentle and laid back and forever forgiving of her naughties in the beginning. Then, they grew to be bigger naughties...And it has grown from there. It is such a fight to correct this problem at this point. My biggest piece of advice to any mommies to be is to be firm from the get go. You can relish in their beauty and innocence, while still being firm and in control. Sadly, I knew this full well going into motherhood. I had all the answers to how i would raise my child...but it seems that as soon as the wrinkly pink bundle was placed in my arms, everything I once knew went out the window. I absolutely love this girl child and yet she drives me to the brink of breakdown. Part of it is because I love her so and just want her to be a sweet little darling and when she is so evil and mean, it totally breaks my heart. And then, the weak side of me can't stand to see her in tears or hear the things she mutters under those tears when she has been disciplined. Guilt is the 2nd largest feeling of motherhood, i have found. As a mother, you feel endlessly guilty. Guilty for being too strict, guilty for not being strict enough. Guilty for not giving them enough, guilty for over indulging. It's the world's largest, longest guilt trip!

On another note, my nails are growing. They never grow. I don't know what to think. Im sure they will break sooner rather than later, they always do. But, for the first time in a long time, i can scratch backs and arms and heads...and it feels no neat. usually i have to pay money for this luxury. i have no idea what has changed to cause them to grow, they wouldn't even grow while i was taking prenatal vitamins.

The last few days have been a bit more of a challege without the medication, but i have managed. I just keep pushing through. I try to take the time to think things through before going off the deep end. But, if i have to pick up one more dirty dish from that husband of mine, i may just explode. He had a bowl of ice cream tonight...and i even told him to be sure he took care of it before going to bed...guess where the bowl was after he had gone to bed? Not in the sink, that's for sure. Right on the end table next to his seat on the couch! The very same place it was when I reminded him to take care of it. Grrrr! I spend my days picking up after kids..that's all i do all day. I do not want to pick up after a grown man! I may have to give him the whole, "YOUR MOTHER DOES NOT LIVE HERE" speech! I'm sure that will sink in..perhaps i will ask if he would like for her to move in so she can pick up after him. That ought to be enough to scare him straight...lol.

Speaking of moving ppl and home....My uncle mark is on his way home, already. We figured it wouldn't last. Now, they have no place to live and have sold off most of their possessions. My uncle ken said they will probably end up staying with him, as he has a 4 bedroom house and it's just him and my one cousin. That ought to be fun, considering the animosities btwn the two of them, which i dare not go into right now. The biggest bummer is, we were going to buy a bed off of them and I was waiting a bit, so Allana would have a place to sleep until they moved. I went ahead and freecycled Makenneh's toddler bed and i don't know if they are going to want to sell allana's bed now that they won't be leaving. Bummer. I could borrow the bed my brother has..it's a futon bunk bed. Makenneh would actually love it, because she said she wanted a bed with a ladder. We would have to take the blades off the ceiling fan though, I think. I would hate to have any sort of accident with that.

Well, everyone is logging onto yahoo, so im gonna go chat with my cousin and a friend or two. I will go for now!!

On a Break

I have been cleaning out my dining area today. We had to put our living room chair in there for christmas and things just continued to accumulate to the point of no return. Today, i got the ambition to get it taken care of. The chair is back in Living room where it belongs (although I already miss the space it takes up) and the whole area is looking much better.

WE have two computers sitting in our dining room (one doesn't work and one does) that needs to be put somewhere, besides there, but I shall leave that up to Jeremy.

I took nothing out of the freezer for dinner...not a problem for me, as i can eat left over chili..i could really live off that stuff. But, jeremy doesn't like it, so i'll have to come up with something. Maybe run to grocery store and get stuff for Sub sandwiches.

Makenneh hasnt' been dropped off at school yet, bc Sebastian was down for a nap (which he never took) and I was busy with the kitchen. I guess, I shall surrender to the idea that Sebastian isn't going ot nap and get her to school.

And as I typed that, I heard the squeaky brakes, meaning Jeremy is home..don't have to get Seb dressed to haul outside afterall! Woohoo!

Well, I will go and get things taken care of.

On a Break

I have been cleaning out my dining area today. We had to put our living room chair in there for christmas and things just continued to accumulate to the point of no return. Today, i got the ambition to get it taken care of. The chair is back in Living room where it belongs (although I already miss the space it takes up) and the whole area is looking much better.

WE have two computers sitting in our dining room (one doesn't work and one does) that needs to be put somewhere, besides there, but I shall leave that up to Jeremy.

I took nothing out of the freezer for dinner...not a problem for me, as i can eat left over chili..i could really live off that stuff. But, jeremy doesn't like it, so i'll have to come up with something. Maybe run to grocery store and get stuff for Sub sandwiches.

Makenneh hasnt' been dropped off at school yet, bc Sebastian was down for a nap (which he never took) and I was busy with the kitchen. I guess, I shall surrender to the idea that Sebastian isn't going ot nap and get her to school.

And as I typed that, I heard the squeaky brakes, meaning Jeremy is home..don't have to get Seb dressed to haul outside afterall! Woohoo!

Well, I will go and get things taken care of.

SNAP

That's what i am near doing. I have already begun. I just went through their bedroom and am getting rid of a lot of the toys..even the peek a block sets and roll arounds. Gone. tHey don't play with them. I just went through and put every pillow, stuffed animal, doll, etc in garbage bags, along with coats, hats, etc. They are outside (in this frigid weather) and will remain in the shed for a few weeks. I cannot keep going through this. I can't. Im very tempted to throw out all bedding and just buy new. I am shaking from head to toe. I am dead with exhaustion and yet, all this shit has to be done. My kitchen is a disaster and my laundry is heaped to the hills. In my fit of frustration, i am ready to order a large capacity washer for these clothes. Go all out with a huge industrial size washer, forget that i have no room to put such a machine. But, i can't stand this laundry. it has taken over my hallway, bathroom and bedroom. There is nowhere for it to go until it is washed, dried and put away.

Then Makenneh is fighting me about Sebastian taking a nap. She doesn't like for him ot have naps. I need him to take them, if for nothing more than my own sanity. it is an hour to 4 wihtout him running around and getting into absolutely everything.

I cringe at the thought that i have to go through and pick nits. It is so back breaking. It makes my back and shoulders just ache and hurts my eyes. Thank God i don't have a set of shavers here, bc we would all be bald.

out of the 5 extra kids that were here, 3 have been checked and don't have any nits or bugs. That leaves only 2 others. If they are clean too, it has to be coming from in here, which i cannot get, bc i have gone crazy and fatigued with the battle in here.

Well, back to the war zone....

blogless

LOL, ok not really, but i don't have much to post about. Other than, we are having another go round with the lice. So, im thinking, no wait, im knowing it cant be coming from school, considering she hasn't been to school since Wednesday. I checked her head every single day since then and was nit free for several days. Had all those kids here saturday night and bam! I didn't check her head sunday bc she was being very crabby aobut it and seems how every day prior had been clean, i figured it wasn't worth the battle. So, I am thinking that seems how i only found one nit and several bugs, that it was a fresher infestation. She is currently sleeping with olive oil in her hair. it is supposed to suffocate them. We shall see how it works. tomorrow or next night i will do the cetaphil treatment and hopefully we will be done with this mess. I am also not letting any kids stay the night here for awhile. Jeremy was upset about htat, bc he wants to go bowling this weekend, but we have to get rid of this problem and if keeping everyone away is the key, so be it.

Well, im tired and achy (being bent over, looking through hair all the time tends to make the back and shoulders ache) so im off to bed!

negative 24 degrees

THAT IS OUR WINDCHILL. WE HAVE A WINDCHILL ADVISORY. I am listening to the news right now (Jeremy brought the kids' 13 inch tv out to living room trying to get hte game in). The weather man said that in his years in this field, he has never heard of a windchill advisory!

And holy cow, there are many school closings now! This is insane. Mother nature is sure making up for the late winter. We are paying dearly for that 50 degree weather we were getting into December. My my! So far, every school around here is closed. I caught the end of the alphabet (from S on and then from A to F). IM sure they are all going to be closed. Typically, when one closes, they all do.

Ive decided that the dogs will have to wait. I hate to do it, but i did just let them out at 9pm. And in all honesty, if my brother was there and sleeping, they would have to wait til am anyway. bad me, but it is so cold they are closing schools. And to make it worse, i don't have a winter coat (not dug out anyway)....and i would freeze to a popsicle.

Coldest night of the year

I musta had my head up my butt...i didn't plan fpr the superbowl. We don't have cable and bc I had broken our tv's cable hook up long ago, we can't even hook up an antenna to get local channels, we couldn't watch the game. I hate that it has to be on a work night. It makes it even harder. I had to take my one cousin home, so i watched one drive at my Uncle Ken's, but then I had to head home...i resorted to listening to the game on AM radio. I feel old. LOL. We are a strange couple..i was more into the game than he was. He didn't care that we were missing it and he dozed off. I sat on the floor, next to the alarm clock radio, listening to the game. hahaha. I was rooting for the Bears, bc i love Brian Urlacher. MMMMM good! But, they lost, bc they too musta had their heads up their asses. So, that made me grumpy. On top of the pooey kinda day I had.

I had a bad headache for most of the day. I finally got rid of it and was going to go lay down for a bit when my sis called. She wanted to know if i could go to the dress shop with her. So, i put on my happy face and went along, even though i felt like crap and just wanted to sleep. Im glad I went bc we found my dress and ordered it. I paid most of the balance already and just hope beyond hope that it looks decent on me. I do like the fact that the dress shop we patronized is a family owned business and the ladies there are both plus sized ladies and understand the need to have a dress look good. They take great pride and making sure that every lady/girl finds the right dress and has the right fit. I love this dress shop...this is the 3rd time I have taken my business there. They are absolutely wonderful. I found out tonight that the business was started when the one sister was a single parent and getting married. She had limited funds and found a lot of road blocks. Her sister did flowers and they just put their brains together and made it work. That was like 25 yrs ago!

Anyway, Here's the picture of my dress. This is supposedly the color, too, although, the color swatch depicts a more reddish color. I hope the swatch is right..which im sure it will be. This color seems too purplish. We are going to have a Hi-low hem put in it, to match the other dresses.
And this is the dress the other girls are wearing. There is absolutely no way i coulda pulled this dress off. Amanda tried it on tonight and she is small. She has a little tiny bit of a belly from having two kids....but every single flaw showed, even her panty line and belly button ring...Even she can't wear it without a girdle type thing of some sort. This dress is more the color too.
This is the hi-low hemline. Carries dress will also have this type of hem.

Now we have to tackle the shoe issue. Bc of the hi-low, shoes matter. Usually it doesn't matter, bc they don't show. Ugh. None of us (well except Amanda) want to wear heals. I will if i have to..if that's what carrie wants, but like she said, she can't walk in heels and doesn't expect us to. So kind of her...lol. Im sure ive mentioned a million times before what happened at my wedding...during the ceremony, in front of all, i lost a couple inches in height. While we were doing the unity candle, i discreetly as possible, kicked off my heels..actually, i stepped out of them, one at a time, so as not to create a big scene. They remained at the alter til just before we left the church...lol. So, i walked down the aisle, for the first time as Mrs Howart, barefoot!!! HEhehehhe. Back to Carrie....she likes those shoes with the lace that goes up the calves. They do look absolutely gorgeous...but, they are around 70.00 or more. She doesn't want us to have to pay that much for our shoes, bless her heart.

And then to the title of this post. It is supposed to go down to -6* tonight. Yep, you read right...NEGATIVE six degrees (F). I shiver just thinking about it. We have had several school closings go across the screen, due to cold. And to make matters worse, i have to go let my brothers dogs out. And Jager can't be let out by himself, i have to put him on a leash and take him out...standing in this frigid cold to let him take care of his business. The things we do for family.

Yeah, the things we do for family....
First, to clarify, as I read Julie's question to my last post...My Uncle Mark and his family are moving to Arizona. He leaves at 4 in the morning for Flagstaff. His wife Missy, and the kids, will be leaving in about 30 days. They figure that they can have a better life down there. Mis has a certificate in Medical billing and coding and i guess there are a lot of job opportunities down there for her field. THen, Mark got a job with the government, i guess, working as a forest ranger of sorts...he will be taking tourists down into the canyon and working on the hiking trails and things of that nature. He had to go through a background check, drug tests and all sorts of things for the job, but they called about 2 weeks ago to offer him the job. So, that's the sum of it.

Today, when they came to pick up their kids (both girls stayed the night here last night), Mis asked if her and girls could stay here for about 4 or 5 days starting with the 28th of this month. She has to turn the keys in for the modular home they were renting on the 28th and they will have nowhere to stay. To add to it, they have sold their truck and will have no transportation, so need to be close to the school, so she can get the girls to and from school those last few days. So, yippee, we get to crowd 3 extra ppl in my 2 bedroom 14X65 mobile home. The length of their stay will depend on what day they can get a departure on. She doesn't know yet if they will be going by plane or train..probably train, bc whatever if cheaper. And if it is more to leave on a weekend, then she will wait til that following monday, which would be the 5th of march! wowzer!

I also don't know how it will go with our lack of schedule around here and the kids needing to go to bed early for school...but maybe it will do us all good and we will all get on a much needed schedule. Makenneh doesn't understand the concept of bed to save her soul. Hasn't since the day she was born. Or the night she was born, i should say. She came out at 1031pm and must have figured that was the "start" of the day and has believed so ever since. I don't get it..i am a night owl, but i LOVE my sleep. Jeremy loves his sleep too. So, why we have 2 kids that fight it, makes no sense to me whatsoever. LOL. I try to get her to understand that NOW is the time to sleep...get it while you can, bc the older you get, the less of it you get to have. There are late nights studying for finals and then there are late nights with babies and kids and jobs and all that other fun stuff life is full of. NOW, as a kid, is the time to sleep. No school (well, 3 hrs an evening), no job, no kids, nothing to interfere. If i knew then what i know now, i would've slept a heck of a lot more, i tell ya! I would have at least tried to bank some of that sleep for use in my later days.

Well, i am frustrated, with my team losing, Sebastian screaming in his crib for an eternity (or maybe just 30 mins), Makenneh fighting sleep and being up still at 11pm....i wanna scream! Send me warmth as I trek out into this frigid night to let the dogs out!