I woke up at 830 after having Makenneh in my bedroom playing loudly with her kitten for a couple hours.....meh! I feel drained. I feel so out of sorts this morning and then Jeremy just added to it. It started when he asked if he could buy a video game. That always sets me reeling, bc he would spend an endless amount of money on video games. When we had gotten that loan back in the fall, he spent 400 on an XBOX 360, with the deal being that I would get to spend an equal amount on me come tax time. Well, that time has come almost gone. There is only 470 left of our taxes and I have made no major purchases for myself. IN fact, I haven't really made any for myself. He says, "I didn't buy a dress for me, did I?" That topped it for me. He is referring to the dress I HAD to buy for my sister's wedding. As if i went out and chose a dress for a freaking evening party or something. I am her matron of honor...her SISTER! OOOohhhh i was livid! He tried backpeddling, but the things with words is once you say them, the damage is done.
I am ready to snap this morning...kids acting up, makenneh being mouthy and mean, Sebastian into everything and I just want to run. I am having an anxiety attack.
Ya know, Jeremy had asked what was wrong, shortly after i woke up..i just said i had a bad night..he never questioned any further, then sprung the whole buying yet another video game on me. When i would have loved to be held and comforted, he was busy playing video games. I wanted to talk and cry, he talked to the other players on the video game. I just feel so second rate right now. And I guess part of me is frustrated with myself. He told me i could have the rest of the money on the card, and he would even give me $70 to go with it. the thing is, it's not about that. It's about the fact that the money i spend is for the home,the family. rarely ever for myself. Yet, all he thinks about is himself when it comes to spending money. I just want for him to think of other things to spend money besides video games and their systems.
I don't know, i am just blah right now, and i think im gonna go lay down.
I woke up and was informed by Makenneh that we are going bowling this afternoon. That is one nice thing..in fact, for half a second,i thought my day was going to go great...
3 comments:
(((Big Hugs))) I hope your day got better.
I absolutely HATE video games, thankfully so does H, which means that the boys don't play them at all, no games on the P.C either. Why grown men think it is a good thing is neyond me but far too many do! I hope you got something sorted out so you don't feel the need to tidy that games control for Jeremy and put it somewhere very painful!
Christina, I am so sorry that you are feeling so bad. I feel that way sometimes as well. Jon loves video games but I know for him it helps him relax and lately he has been trying so hard to help with things. Maybe you can talk to him and tell him that you would like for him to spend a little more time with family and not the video game-I know easier said than done. I hope that he listens to you and that you have fun bowling!
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