Zzzzzzzz

Yeah for me, not Makenneh. She is wired! My gosh! I wanna call it a night. And she is so damn stubborn. The kids absolutely drove me nuts today. I had finally had all i could take and loaded us up and went to my moms. At least there, im not on my own...lol. Sometimes i dream about duct tape. =) Really though, I shouldn't joke about that. I heard about a child abuse case recently involving duct tape. that really is horrible. I guess they duct taped the kids to the seats or something. i mean, we have always made jokes about "ruling with a role of duct tape" but i just can't imagine someone actually using it. Geesh! Then again, i can't imagine half the things i hear about ppl doing to children. My kids are huge monsters...but i really have nobody to blame but me! I still love em more than life and just can't understand how anyone can look at a child and not see the beauty of them.

Speaking of the beauty...i realize now that i really shouldn't have gotten Seb's hair cut....=( It's not soft and silky anymore..i can't run my fingers through it and stroke it the same as i did before. It makes me sad. But, boy he sure is handsome. OH and Jeremy was quite disappointed about the hair cut. It actually made me sad a bit, too. I realized i should've talked to him about it first...they are his kids too afterall. i just didn't put much thought into it. He was a little heartbroken about it. i found it very touching that he had feelings about it at all. I guess it was one of those moments where you had to be here.

Tomorrow's a busy day. Chris gets out of the hospital. I am supposed to watch my friend's kids for a couple hours (from like 1-315), we are having a going away party for my Uncle Mark, jeremy has to help Matt move some stuff....busy busy busy. Oh and somewhere before the party which is at 4, i have to find time to get to the store to buy the plates, napkins, cups, forks, and stuff to make a dish and make said dish. And, bad me, i never did make it over to clean the apartment...I really need to do at least get the ashtrays out of there, as she hasn't had a cigarette in over a week and shouldn't have any temptation to pick one up. I headed that way today, but honestly, the thought of it made my stomach turn. She had made some homemade soup one day and was too sick to clean up so the pot is still on the stove with the soup in it. It smelled rancid on Sunday when we called the ambulance and quite frankly, im afraid to go near it. IF it were my own plac ,ei would trash the whole thing...pot and all. I am afraid of rancid food...lol. I have thrown bowls away that got shoved to the back of fridge with leftovers in it. No way was i gonna scrape and clean them...lol. However, this soup was made in her good stock pot..its a smaller one, perfect for her and i doubt she would want it thrown away. hmmm. Timing is everything i guess. This past week I haven't had energy to deal with my own place, not to mention, PMS hit this week as well. And the depression keeps peaking its evil head out. I am fighting it! But these winter blues sure don't make it any easier.

On a much brighter note, jeremy and i just had a great evening together after the kids were asleep. We actually had a conversation. Ya know...those things that take place when 2 people talk to each other and respond to each other? They are pretty neat, i tell ya! It feels so nice to be able to just "shoot the breeze" about anything and everything. It doesn't happen enough around here. Of course, i shouldn't tell ya that I had to use bondage cuffs to hold him to the bed in order to have his attention for said conversation...lol. JK, really, i am.

I can hear the water from the filter on the fish tank, which is beckoning me to add water. I shall do it tomorrow. surprise! I do everything "tomorrow". Procrastinators motto: Why do anything today that can be put off until tomorrow. Ps..tomorrow never seems to come. LOL. I really hate that about me, yet i can't seem to shake it. Probably because I always tell myself that I will work on it tomorrow. ~wink~

And how darn long does it take for the SARs to come from financial aid? Anyone know? I want mine. Actually, Julie, I need you to email me if you can. I have a few questions. Truth is though, i will probably forget them...well, hecks, i will ask them here, you can reply here if ya want. When i applied for the fafsa, the final thing said that my efc (estimated family contribution) was 153. So, does that mean that I am gonna have to pay 153 or does it balance out somehow? My aunt said that she never had to pay but doesn't remember if she had an efc over 0. If you or anyone reading this knows, lemme know. I honestly don't see how i would be expected to pay anything, bc we are poor folk over here. But, if i have to pay 153 a semester, i guess we will have to figure something out. I just know that usually everyone I know ends up with money left over after paying tuition and buying books. I cant believe that I would be owing some money. It's still a good deal though. Although, with that in mind, i may have to change my goal, because if i have to pay out 153 to attend a local community college, i can only imagine what it will be when i have to attend Spring Arbor (which is one of those accelerated deals and costs quite a bit more than traditional colleges) and Michigan State. Those two are quite costly. I still can't believe i will have to go to MSU...yucky! Is this some form of punishment? LOL. Thankfully i can just attend the extension at Mott's campus. Hehehehhe!

My fingers get going too darn fast when i type. I am forever hitting like ctrl and something else making my screens disappear or pulling up things i didn't want. Frustrating. Slow down fingers.

Well, I need to fight this insomnia i am feeling (it is a result of the release of endorphins and "feel good" hormones we created....lol) and try to get some sleep.

Those of you in MI (or anywhere it's cold) stay warm....we are looking at some frigid temps. And i thought that darn groundhog predicted an early spring today? can't it start, today?It's no wonder he didn't see his shadow..it's too damn cold for shadows to even hang around these days. LOL. That whole groundhog thing confuses me anyway. it seems that it would make most sense that if he sees his shadow, spring will be early...shadows=sunlight and that's just hte way i would have it if it were up to me. But, i don't get to make the rules or create the folklore, so i will just sit back and go with the flow. Hahhahahah!

Oh, and we watched Idiocracy tonight....DUMB, just as the title states. It wasn't even that funny. I can handle dumb when it's back by funny, but when it's just dumb alone, forget it. I don't get the point. Well, i get the point. I guess it even makes sense...that if we continue the way we are, the future could be full of idiots. But, the plot? Where was it? Di da di, as Carlos Mencia would say. LOL. Now he is funny. Laugh until you wet your pants kinda funny. Don't watch if you are on a date, bc you are bound to snort and gasp from laughter.

Ok, im going now. I might be back, if i can't go to sleep though.

hahaha, back so soon, right after hitting publish, bc i realized as i did so, that the beginning of my post was started hours ago...and well, i was tired then. But then the kids fell asleep and i crept into the bedroom and well, the activities that followed led to my feeling of euphoria....which is why i now am not tired. Just thought i would clear that up a bit, although it may be way tmi for some of you. I just didn't want you to read this and think, wow, Christina has really lost her marbles...in the matter of a few paragraphs, she has gone from tired to wide awake....