Grave marker

So maybe it was Helen's post about her dad and feeling gloomy lately,but I was laying in bed,trying to fall asleep, when I could hear my aunt Dawn's voice...she said something about the snow..just as in every day conversation. I tried so hard to hold on to the sound of her voice and what she said...but it drifted away all too fast. Then,I was jolted out of bed with the strong desire to check on grave markers for her because still, 2.5 yrs later, she doesn't have one. This fact haunts me all the time. I know they are costly and just figured they would be way out of my reach financially, because, well, we have one income, raising a young family and trying to make our ends meet. But, I can't help but feel like something has to be done to get a marker on her grave. So, i came to the computer to google grave markers and the first site blew me away...they were all around 900.00 to start. Egads, I know I could never come up with that amount of money without causing hardship in the household. So, i thought I would check another site. I found one where we could get a double companion (she is buried next to her infant daughter, Amy,who died of crib death and also has no marker) marker shipped for about 495. So, I sent for a price quote on two different ones. I should have a quote within 48 hours.

My thought is that, she has 5 siblings, numerous adult nieces and nephews and there is no reason why we can't all pitch in what we can spare to make this happen. Of course, timing is bad,as we have weddings, open houses and baby showers up the wazoo this spring/summer, but i figure if we all saved from now til the end of the year, we should be able to pull it off. It would cost less than 100/family.

I just feel so bad bc her whole life she felt she was invisible and this just seems to solidify that thought. I can't stand it. If money weren't an issue, I would have a monument built to memorialize (is that a word,is it spelled right if so?) her and her life. (it's 2am and I have attempted sleep twice,forgive me on the wording...).

And then I've decided that if none of the family want to help, our next year's income taxes are getting a marker on her grave.

If Tears Could Build A Stairway

If tears could build a stairway
And memories were a lane
I would walk right up to Heaven
And bring you back again

No farewell words were spoken
No time to say goodbye
You were gone before I knew it
And only God knows why

My heart still aches in sadness
And secret tears still flow
What it meant to lose you
No one will ever know

But now I know you want me
To mourn for you no more
To remember all the happy times
Life still has much in store

Since you’ll never be forgotten
I pledge to you today
A hallowed place within my heart
Is where you’ll always stay

Author Unknown